NationStates Jolt Archive

Not directly, but apparently he can increase your fertility: (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13452919/)
“To our surprise we found a significant difference between the women who were exposed to clowning,” said Dr. Shevach Friedler, a trained mime artist and fertility doctor at the center.

Thirty-three of the 93 women entertained for 10-15 minutes by the professional clown conceived, compared to 18 patients among the same number who had not had a good dose of humor.

It only seems natural-more kids, more need for clowns. It's like natures way of propigating clowns.

Now you can blame your unexpected pregnancy on Lunatic Goofballs. Maybe you can tap him for child support...or at least a free show (though I suspect that if you just flood your front yard nice and muddy that would happen anyway...

I wonder if I could sell my services to a fertility clinic. *rubs chin thoughtfully*

I wonder if I could sell my services to a fertility clinic. *rubs chin thoughtfully*

A whole new market has opened up, it's like a new golden age for clowns...

I hope that doesn't mean that silly men are more likely to impregnate women... That could get expensive :(

Now I see why women say "sense of humour" is the most important thing they look for in a man.

A Swedish man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple must pay child support to the three children he fathered, Sweden's Supreme Court has ruled.
The man now 39, donated his sperm to the coule in the early 1990's.
Three sons were born.
The man played no role in the boys rearing, but signed a document confirming that he was the biological father of the children.
Soon after the two women seperated and the biological mother demanded that the man pay child support.
Remember LG, deny, deny, deny!

Now I see why women say "sense of humour" is the most important thing they look for in a man.

Hahaha. I hate clowns.

See my sig. :p

I always had my suspicions as to LG's fertility levels.

I mean, look at the facts: That man's been smacked in the knackers hundreds of times and he's still got enough left to father 3 kids.
Most men would barely be able to walk, let alone procreate!

Obviously some very potent seed there.


And some damn tough happysacks.




I'm going to stop now, cause I feel really weird talking about a clowns gonads.

It's really creepy.

I always had my suspicions as to LG's fertility levels.

I mean, look at the facts: That man's been smacked in the knackers hundreds of times and he's still got enough left to father 3 kids.
Most men would barely be able to walk, let alone procreate!

Obviously some very potent seed there.


And some damn tough happysacks.




I'm going to stop now, cause I feel really weird talking about a clowns gonads.

It's really creepy.

You think that's creepy? What if somebody decides that clown gonads are an aphrodesiac? I'm in deep shit! :eek:

You think that's creepy? What if somebody decides that clown gonads are an aphrodesiac? I'm in deep shit! :eek:

on the plus side, you'd get to be put on some endagered species lists. just like the rhino.

You think that's creepy? What if somebody decides that clown gonads are an aphrodesiac? I'm in deep shit! :eek:

Not like they could damage them or anything. In fact, when you sell your service to the fertility clinic, make getting kicked in the nether regions your act.

Surely that would pay extra?

You think that's creepy? What if somebody decides that clown gonads are an aphrodesiac? I'm in deep shit! :eek:

Humm, I see a market here.

I better gets some men, some guns and start hunting. Lets get a list of the children party in the vicinity and we are of.

You think that's creepy? What if somebody decides that clown gonads are an aphrodesiac? I'm in deep shit! :eek:

Also, deep shit may be the best place for you. Deep something, anyways, so long as you can dive in and hide.

You think that's creepy? What if somebody decides that clown gonads are an aphrodesiac? I'm in deep shit! :eek:

I think they'd just stick your head in a jar like in Futurama. So that you could entertain for eternity. :D

Not like they could damage them or anything. In fact, when you sell your service to the fertility clinic, make getting kicked in the nether regions your act.

Surely that would pay extra?

Are there 'crying on the outside' kind of clowns? :(

I think they'd just stick your head in a jar like in Futurama. So that you could entertain for eternity. :D

Do you have any idea how hard it is to juggle with your mouth?

Do you have any idea how hard it is to juggle with your mouth?

It just takes practice.

It just takes practice.

Then there are all the 'balls in my mouth' jokes to listen to. :(

Do you have any idea how hard it is to juggle with your mouth?

But you'd be able to eat like a fish! Surely that would be simplistic and fun!

But you'd be able to eat like a fish! Surely that would be simplistic and fun!

Some smartass would keep my head in a jar of mud. :p

Then there are all the 'balls in my mouth' jokes to listen to.


Use pins?

Some smartass would keep my head in a jar of mud. :p

Possibly...

I hate clowns.

I hate clowns.

In russia, clowns hate you :p

Some smartass would keep my head in a jar of mud. :p

I can certainly see that... :D

But after thinking through just a little, it would be much better for your jokes to be heard so... no. We COULD have your gonads in mud in a nearby jar. Just in case that is where your clown powers in fact come from. :p

I think we're all missing the point here. The main issue was the humor, not the clowns themselves. I think that no matter what they found funny, they would have more easily concieved, simply because when the body is happy, it is in much better shape overall. It performs all tasks much more smoothly and efficiently, and this includes impregnation.

I think we're all missing the point here. The main issue was the humor, not the clowns themselves. I think that no matter what they found funny, they would have more easily concieved, simply because when the body is happy, it is in much better shape overall. It performs all tasks much more smoothly and efficiently, and this includes impregnation.

*smacks you with a pie*

*smacks you with a pie*

*laughs*

*smacks you with a pie*

http://www.snowdown.org/old_files/images/joepie.jpg

:eek:

http://www.snowdown.org/old_files/images/joepie.jpg

:eek:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGbiv-nkezc

Hopefully you can see that youtube video. :p

Are there 'crying on the outside' kind of clowns? :(
They're the funniest kind, aren't they?

You think that's creepy? What if somebody decides that clown gonads are an aphrodesiac? I'm in deep shit! :eek:
Best be wary if you see some Asians following you around, muttering and pointing at your crouch.

A Swedish man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple must pay child support to the three children he fathered, Sweden's Supreme Court has ruled.
The man now 39, donated his sperm to the coule in the early 1990's.
Three sons were born.
The man played no role in the boys rearing, but signed a document confirming that he was the biological father of the children.
Soon after the two women seperated and the biological mother demanded that the man pay child support.
now, if he was really smart, he woulda counter-sued them for stolen custody or something.

but seriously... those were some lesbian bitches :mad:

I thought this was the NS General method:
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b78/scottpro/dontfall.gif

I keep telling you people that the clowns are out to get us!

If they cant defeat us with numbers, they'll try to BREED us out!


Rise up people of NS General!

Join me in slaying our Greasepainted Tormentors!

Throw off our yokes of harlequinn oppression!

Better dead, than big floppy, and red!

(I meant the shoes.....)

I thought this was the NS General method:
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b78/scottpro/dontfall.gif

Excellent! :D

It wouldn't work for me...clowns scare me a bit...:(

It wouldn't work for me...clowns scare me a bit...:(

I refer you to my post above!

Theres hope for you yet!

Reeeeally? Hmm... I may have to borrow LG for a bit. You feeling like a trip to Tokyo around mid-October? We could test your theory about if running down the street naked and hitting people with ham would get you a Japanese game show or not...

I keep telling you people that the clowns are out to get us!

If they cant defeat us with numbers, they'll try to BREED us out!


Rise up people of NS General!

Join me in slaying our Greasepainted Tormentors!

Throw off our yokes of harlequinn oppression!

Better dead, than big floppy, and red!

(I meant the shoes.....)

Obviously, you are distraught. I will take you away to a relaxing place where you can be brainwa....er...re-educated. :)

Reeeeally? Hmm... I may have to borrow LG for a bit. You feeling like a trip to Tokyo around mid-October? We could test your theory about if running down the street naked and hitting people with ham would get you a Japanese game show or not...

There's certainly no ham ...er...harm in trying. :)

Obviously, you are distraught. I will take you away to a relaxing place where you can be brainwa....er...re-educated. :)

See the violence inherent in the system!

Help!

Help!

Im being repressed!

See the violence inherent in the system!

Help!

Help!

Im being repressed!
There you are, bringing class into it again ...

There you are, bringing class into it again ...

Yes, but I brought enough to share with the entirety of it....

Yes, but I brought enough to share with the entirety of it....
*coughs, goes into offical teacher voice of doom* No, you may NOT chew gum even if you DID bring enough for the rest of the class.

BAH! Clowns have an easy job, all they have to do is figure out what we want and give it to us while getting the gonads kicked out of them.




(...I Love You..):p

*coughs, goes into offical teacher voice of doom* No, you may NOT chew gum even if you DID bring enough for the rest of the class.

Gum?

Uhh...yes...

Thats what it was....gum...

See the violence inherent in the system!

Help!

Help!

Im being repressed!

You seem agitated. You may be hyperventilating. Here, put this cloth over our mouth and nose and breathe deeply. :)

You seem agitated. You may be hyperventilating. Here, put this cloth over our mouth and nose and breathe deeply. :)

Hey!

This smells like chlorofropfk;efjksadiofj;iofjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

Gum?

Uhh...yes...

Thats what it was....gum...
*lol* In my experiance, EVERYTHING is covered by gum*. Anything else and I may have to take... more notice.

*Except in Japan, here I have to yell about photo stickers.

Hey!

This smells like chlorofropfk;efjksadiofj;iofjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

*motions to the door* He's out, guys hurry.

*the sound of a half-dozen floppy pairs of shoes scampering across the room can be heard*

Install the microchip carefully...

*movement and the occasional honking nose is heard*

Good, now get out before he wakes up!

*more scampering and honks*

:)

Ughh..my head...

*sniff*

Oh God...

Tell me that isnt cotton-candy I smell!!

PLEASE GOD..NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Ughh..my head...

*sniff*

Oh God...

Tell me that isnt cotton-candy I smell!!

PLEASE GOD..NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Mwahahahaha!!! :D

Mwahahahaha!!! :D
You have watched Killer Clowns from Outer Space WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many times.

You have watched Killer Clowns from Outer Space WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many times.

Oddly enough, I've never seen that whole movie. Just bits and pieces.

You have watched Killer Clowns from Outer Space WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many times.

Thats not a movie!!

Its a documentary, I tells ye!

Must..

Find...

Microchip......

Oddly enough, I've never seen that whole movie. Just bits and pieces.
Why? It would seem like a movie tailor made for ya...

Why? It would seem like a movie tailor made for ya...

I suppose for the same reason why Navy fighter pilots don't watch Top Gun. :p

I suppose for the same reason why Navy fighter pilots don't watch Top Gun. :p

They arent Tom Cruise fans?

They arent Tom Cruise fans?

Exactly! I don't watch Killer Klowns because I'm not a Tom Cruise fan! *nod*

Exactly! I don't watch Killer Klowns because I'm not a Tom Cruise fan! *nod*

See, and I dont watch Tom Cruise movies cuz Im not a Clown fan..

Its fuzzy logic, but its all I have.

See, and I dont watch Tom Cruise movies cuz Im not a Clown fan..

Its fuzzy logic, but its all I have.

Who would you rather wake up and see jumping up and down on your couch; Me or Tom Cruise?

Who would you rather wake up and see jumping up and down on your couch; Me or Tom Cruise?

Can we pick a third option?

Can we pick a third option?

Zeeky H. Bomb.
http://www.boomspeed.com/looonatic/Zeeky.jpg

Zeeky H. Bomb.
http://www.boomspeed.com/looonatic/Zeeky.jpg

Ziggy Buggy Boo

Ziggy Buggy Boo

Correction: Zeeky Boogy Doog. *nod*

:eek: Shit!


http://www.boomspeed.com/looonatic/nuclear.jpg