NationStates Jolt Archive

According to what I picked up on a fast food research and sloth, hemorrhoids' cause is unknown. However, thanks to close observation of people's diets and lifestyles, it's been hinted that it may result from a lack of water, a lack of fiber-filled goodies like vegetables and fruit, etc. What do you think causes hemmorrhoids, and why do you think that only in modern times (as far as I know) have they surfaced, and when can they be stopped?

Does anyone know suggestions, as I myself have had suffered them in the past (not so bad now,) but they don't cause pain, just are hassles. Got any times to decommission them?

Never had them, not really sure what they are(though I have an idea) so I can't help you. Just more fibre.

Definitely not only a modern condition. Hippocrates wrote a short treatise entitled "On Hemorrhoids"!

:D

If you have them occasionally after a heavy exertion,they may never be a problem.

If you have them on a regular basis, you can expect them to start to cause pain and discomfort.

Sitting on the toilet for longer than you have to can contribute to irritating them.

My suggestions to prevent or deal with them when you have them- Increase your water intake, increase your fiber. Try to add bananas and yogurt to your diet.
Dont sit on the toilet reading.

Avoid things that are known to give you diarreah or excess gas.

I can't think of a rational reason as to why I clicked on this topic..

Definitely not only a modern condition. Hippocrates wrote a short treatise entitled "On Hemorrhoids"!

:D

I thought that said, "Hippocrates wore a short t-shirt entitled, "On Hemorrhoids"" when I first read that through.... I found that funny...

This thread is shit.

Sorry.

We have no idea what causes haemorrhoids…..oh the wonders of modern science

Never had them never intend to

It isn't a modern condition? But according to what I've read, hemmorhoids have only appeared as recently as the twentieth century. But why was it not as predominant earlier on? More active people?

And yes, I do need a more balanced diet, and I am trying to adjust (I consume more fruit nowadays).

It isn't a modern condition? But according to what I've read, hemmorhoids have only appeared as recently as the twentieth century. But why was it not as predominant earlier on? More active people?It may just be that it wasn't a popular subject for a book before the 20th century. There's many things from earlier times we simply have no clue about because nobody bothered to write it down.
It might also be due to dietary and lifestyle changes though.

Yes, lack of proper exercise, bad diet, toxic chemicals... But, most important of all, it breaks down to these three words:

Too Much Sitting

I's say that sitting on our "common" chairs for so many activities for so long is a XX century "innovation". So much for technology...

I wouldn't presume to reduce it simply to pressure on the buttock area and impaired blood flow, though. I'd rather put it to the effect long sitting has on your vertebral alignment, and then on the impingement of autonomous and motor nerves that organize bowel function. Lack of bipedal motion also impairs bowel function.

For some, there seems to be a correlation between constipation and hemorrhoids, (*1) although this is debated (*2).

Yours




Artur de Vilanova
Gymanesian Health Minister

*1 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=16009067&query_hl=1&itool=pubmed_docsum

*2 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=15184814&query_hl=1&itool=pubmed_docsum

pregnant women get them a lot.

another reason why not to procreate

According to what I picked up on a fast food research and sloth, hemorrhoids' cause is unknown. However, thanks to close observation of people's diets and lifestyles, it's been hinted that it may result from a lack of water, a lack of fiber-filled goodies like vegetables and fruit, etc. What do you think causes hemmorrhoids, and why do you think that only in modern times (as far as I know) have they surfaced, and when can they be stopped?

Does anyone know suggestions, as I myself have had suffered them in the past (not so bad now,) but they don't cause pain, just are hassles. Got any times to decommission them?

Join the que for having a health problem that no one knows why it is caused. grumble grumble :headbang:

GERBILS

:p :p :p :p

I have a theory that people would get a lot fewer hemorrhoids if they didn't have a butt.

Unfortunately, that theory has never been adequately tested. :(

I have seen the face of the Devil.

Its called a Thrombolsyn Hemorrhoid.

Basically, a blood vessel in the vacinity of your chocolate starfish gets plugged, and a rather large, and hellishly uncomfortable balloon of blood and other unsavory things develops.

Its painful, but the worst part is the itching......

Maddening.

The treatment is simple.

Lance the bastard, and have your bunghole sewn up.

Did I mention the incredibly painful needle that is required, that basically feels like King Arthur himself summoned the mighty Excalibur and inserted it straight into your tender pooper?

It was a real pain in the ass.

I have a theory that people would get a lot fewer hemorrhoids if they didn't have a butt.

Unfortunately, that theory has never been adequately tested. :(

What, no volunteers for your clinical trials then?

A friendly piece of advice; Don't wiki hemorrhoids.

*shudder*

A friendly piece of advice; Don't wiki hemorrhoids.

*shudder*

You bastard.

You KNOW I have to now.

What, no volunteers for your clinical trials then?

You wouldn't think it would be so difficult to find people willing to have their butts removed. *shrug*

You bastard.

You KNOW I have to now.

How recently did you eat?

How recently did you eat?

Oh sweet jesus!


People, hes NOT kidding!!

No, really!

Oh sweet jesus!


People, hes NOT kidding!!

No, really!

There is such a thing as too much information. *nod*

There is such a thing as too much information. *nod*

It looked like someone attacked his bung with a bicycle pump, and inflated it to barbaric porportions....

...whimpers....

It looked like someone attacked his bung with a bicycle pump, and inflated it to barbaric porportions....

...whimpers....

There is such a thing as too much information. *nod*

Oh sweet jesus!


People, hes NOT kidding!!

No, really!

A friendly piece of advice; Don't wiki hemorrhoids.

*shudder*
*Refuses to look*

Must...resist...urge...to let curiousity...overrule common sense...

It looked like someone attacked his bung with a bicycle pump, and inflated it to barbaric porportions....

...whimpers....

The bright clinical lighting really brings out the colors of the moist distended purple flesh, doesn't it? :(

The bright clinical lighting really brings out the colors of the moist distended purple flesh, doesn't it? :(

Cant sleep, giant purple butthole will get me...
Cant sleep, giant purple butthole will get me...
Cant sleep, giant purple butthole will get me...
Cant sleep, giant purple butthole will get me...

*Refuses to look*

Must...resist...urge...to let curiousity...overrule common sense...

I wish you luck. :(

Its called a Thrombolsyn Hemorrhoid.
Did you spell it correctly, Backwoods? Because I had something like that a while ago, and that was the first time I got it. Haven't had that since then, I'm just trying to figure a way of getting rid of my hemorrhoid problem for good.

You wouldn't think it would be so difficult to find people willing to have their butts removed. *shrug*

What is the world coming to, when a fully qualified medical practitioner, such as yourself, can't even conduct a simple, non-invasive, free from side-effects, clinical trial?

Dr LG, sign me up! ;)

I'm sure my girlfriend would appreciate the cessation of my excess flatus. :p

Cant sleep, giant purple butthole will get me...
Cant sleep, giant purple butthole will get me...
Cant sleep, giant purple butthole will get me...
Cant sleep, giant purple butthole will get me...

Oh Mein Gott! I didn't even know an arse like that could exist. :eek:

Ugh, this is making me think of goatse...

Ugh, this is making me think of goatse...

NS Commandment #5

Thou shalt not mention thy name of Goatze....it is abomination.

Ugh, this is making me think of goatse...

Why do you think I didn't post a link? It might be Wikipedia, but that is some sick shit! :(

Did you spell it correctly, Backwoods? Because I had something like that a while ago, and that was the first time I got it. Haven't had that since then, I'm just trying to figure a way of getting rid of my hemorrhoid problem for good.



Probably not.

Its thrombol(something).

Its googleable.

Or....gulp...Wiki-able.
(but then you may see IT)

A friendly piece of advice; Don't wiki hemorrhoids.

*shudder*


Bah, that nothing.

When I was young (12-13) I was at a display of old german wax doll which showed different diseases. The hemorroids they had was 10 times worse then that...

When I was young (12-13) I was at a display of old german wax doll which showed different diseases. The hemorroids they had was 10 times worse then that...
Probably they twisted the cases out of proportion as to warn others?

Probably they twisted the cases out of proportion as to warn others?

"that museum sure likes horrible buttholes.Dont go to that museum.

Thats the lesson.

Bah, that nothing.

When I was young (12-13) I was at a display of old german wax doll which showed different diseases. The hemorroids they had was 10 times worse then that...

Those wacky germans. :p

Those wacky germans. :p

So, if you had a cultural contest to see who could be wackier, between the Germans, and the Japanse...would that be a "Whack-off"?

While I was researching a movie for a subscriber, I stumbled across a Howard Stern :cool: episode where they held a contest for the worst case of Hemorrhoids. If anyone gets to catch that, its way worse than the wikipedia site. I feel bad for those people who had multiple operations or don't have insurance. Suffice it to say, that was the first time I've seen a case of hemorrhoids and once you've been exposed to the worse, the rest doesn't seem so bad. Makes Goatze seems tolerable.

So, if you had a cultural contest to see who could be wackier, between the Germans, and the Japanse...would that be a "Whack-off"?

Perhaps. Personally, considering my love for japanese game shows and after hearing about those wax dolls, I prefer japanese wackiness. *nod*

Just to make a thing clear, it was not only hemorrhoids they showed, but many other diseases and injuries. Apparently they were 200 years old but had been lost until a couple of years ago.

Perhaps. Personally, considering my love for japanese game shows and after hearing about those wax dolls, I prefer japanese wackiness. *nod*

You want million dahrah!!??

Does that museum have an official website?

You want million dahrah!!??

That depends. Will my insurance cover me? :p

According to what I picked up on a fast food research and sloth, hemorrhoids' cause is unknown. However, thanks to close observation of people's diets and lifestyles, it's been hinted that it may result from a lack of water, a lack of fiber-filled goodies like vegetables and fruit, etc. What do you think causes hemmorrhoids, and why do you think that only in modern times (as far as I know) have they surfaced, and when can they be stopped?

Does anyone know suggestions, as I myself have had suffered them in the past (not so bad now,) but they don't cause pain, just are hassles. Got any times to decommission them?

Lay off the butt sex for a while.

Emma Freud's are God's way of telling us to use more KY.

Does that museum have an official website?

No, it was more of exhibition thats was there temporarily. To bad I cant remeber the name of it...

Other than the butt sex, which I don't have at all... (look at my profile, mate).