NationStates Jolt Archive

I am exceedingly bored and i have discovered that laughing at others stupidity is a good cure for this, this is one of SHAOLIN9's

When I was a little kid I was madly into skateboarding. My sister took me into town and I saw all these skateboarders doing cool tricks. I was looking at them and not where I was walking. My sister said "matthew", I turned round and BAM! I walked face first into a lamp post and fell on the floor with everyone laughing (including me) :D

I too have walked into a lampost but the less said about that the better...

Anyway, post away, im sure there are enough foo, i mean educationally challenged people in these forums to keep the thread going a while....

:cool: My anecdote's here and I didn't have to repeat myself! I'll try and think of another! ;)

Nothing funny ever happened to me. I've led a very sheltered life.

*tries to keep a straight face*

:cool: My anecdote's here and I din't have to repeat myself! I'll try and think of another! ;)

thought i would save you the effort of a copy and paste job, arnet i generous

Nothing funny ever happened to me. I've led a very sheltered life.

*tries to keep a straight face*
*bursts out laughing*

Here, have some mud to hide in when that straight face of yours cracks. :p

I nearly opened a plane door once (I was trying to prove that they have locks on them)

and I once ran into the corner of a brick wall (I still have the scar on my forehead)

at boy scout camp, I got a bowl of stew that we made, went to the table that had all the spices on and grabbed... out of all the containers holding salt, pepper, tobasco, etc... the one bottle of Comet Cleaner that some idiot put on the table.

fortunatly, I did notice the thick green powder... and while it did bubble nicely, it didn't make the food that much more appetizing...

I've had a tv fall on my head. It was a little bigger then a computer moniter and a hell of a lot thicker and it had a VCR attached to it. It hurt.

I've had a tv fall on my head. It was a little bigger then a computer moniter and a hell of a lot thicker and it had a VCR attached to it. It hurt.

what was on it?

*bursts out laughing*

Here, have some mud to hide in when that straight face of yours cracks. :p

Why wait? *dives in*

what was on it?

Biography's portrait of Issac Newton.

Biography's portrait of Issac Newton.

Close, it was on a bus held up mostly by duct tape.

This one time, I ate bacon for breakfast. But then I got thirsty, so I made a bacon smoothie. It was so awesome... I'm gonna have the same thing tomorrow.

I have a few (okay more than a few, but I am only sharing a few)

1) when I was a freshman our advanced choir was going to sing at the state capitol, I was the only freshman in the choir and it was pretty early in the school year (well, okay it was around Christmas but still, it was our first actual concert) in the audience was not only the govenor, some senators etc. but the secretary of state.........you know the actual one, of the USA, super big deal for my inner city school......anyway, we are coming down the stairs carrying candles and singing a carol, in the dark......anyone see a problem yet? well, anyway, I am short, very short, like 5ft2 but in my freshman year I was only 4ft10, so my dress even though I ordered petite was too long by about 3 inches, and we had tried to get it hemmed but it was too late, and I was walking down the stairs in the dark, with a candle, very nervous.........I stepped on my skirt by accident and fell forward taking out about 7 people in front of me, very domino effect-ish, I think I caught someone's hair on fire briefly with my candle on the way down, and I am sure I yelled something inappropriate........all I really remember is falling and waking up with secret service agents standing over me.http://elouai.com/images/yahoo/a08.gif

2) Also when I was a freshman I had a crush on a boy, and I was talking to my friend walking out into the parking lot to get to her car but instead of looking where I was going I was staring at him, just about the time he looked in my direction I ran into the bike rack and fell and broke my ankle, he rushed over to help me and said "I saw you looking at me, next time you could just ask me out instead of trying to kill yourself" :rolleyes:

3) today I was chasing my kids around my yard (for fun) and I slipped on the wet grass and fell down. not as funny as the other two, but my kids thought it was hilarious.;)

I once ran into the corner of a brick wall (I still have the scar on my forehead)

i've never been the most graceful person in the world, but i decided to go play laser tag one day, and i guess i was running away from someone trying to shoot me, but i ran straight into a wall. i think i got a bloody nose...

I nearly got my head cut off when I was setting up a stage.

My friend just gave me some sandals that add about 4 inches to my height and I was worried about falling over in them. However, that did not turn out to be my main problem. Being as short as I am, I'm used to having more clearance when walking about. I have hit my head so many times recently that I'm fairly certain I have a concussion.

:(

I almost ran over a man with a go-kart. Unfortunately, it was on a go-kart track.

The first thought that came to mind when I had my first American beer was: "How sad is it that the beer in this country tastes closer to what water should taste like than the water I get out of my faucet?"

I once was running on a playground, turned, and ran straight into the metal support structure. I saw bits of my front tooth flying.

My friend just gave me some sandals that add about 4 inches to my height and I was worried about falling over in them. However, that did not turn out to be my main problem. Being as short as I am, I'm used to having more clearance when walking about. I have hit my head so many times recently that I'm fairly certain I have a concussion.

:(

Ouch! I just saw sandals/thongs/flipflops like that last week and my jaw dropped. How do you keep them on?

Ouch! I just saw sandals/thongs/flipflops like that last week and my jaw dropped. How do you keep them on?

Carefully. I'm surprised that I've had less problems with them than I thought I would. Going up and down stairs is the hardest aside from ducking cabinet doors.

The first thought that came to mind when I had my first American beer was: "How sad is it that the beer in this country tastes closer to what water should taste like than the water I get out of my faucet?"
Only a Deutschlander.:rolleyes: :D
I have a few (okay more than a few, but I am only sharing a few)

1) when I was a freshman our advanced choir was going to sing at the state capitol, I was the only freshman in the choir and it was pretty early in the school year (well, okay it was around Christmas but still, it was our first actual concert) in the audience was not only the govenor, some senators etc. but the secretary of state.........you know the actual one, of the USA, super big deal for my inner city school......anyway, we are coming down the stairs carrying candles and singing a carol, in the dark......anyone see a problem yet? well, anyway, I am short, very short, like 5ft2 but in my freshman year I was only 4ft10, so my dress even though I ordered petite was too long by about 3 inches, and we had tried to get it hemmed but it was too late, and I was walking down the stairs in the dark, with a candle, very nervous.........I stepped on my skirt by accident and fell forward taking out about 7 people in front of me, very domino effect-ish, I think I caught someone's hair on fire briefly with my candle on the way down, and I am sure I yelled something inappropriate........all I really remember is falling and waking up with secret service agents standing over me.http://elouai.com/images/yahoo/a08.gif

2) Also when I was a freshman I had a crush on a boy, and I was talking to my friend walking out into the parking lot to get to her car but instead of looking where I was going I was staring at him, just about the time he looked in my direction I ran into the bike rack and fell and broke my ankle, he rushed over to help me and said "I saw you looking at me, next time you could just ask me out instead of trying to kill yourself" :rolleyes:

3) today I was chasing my kids around my yard (for fun) and I slipped on the wet grass and fell down. not as funny as the other two, but my kids thought it was hilarious.;)
Haha, I was smiling to myself and giggling as I read through those three. Haha, very funny.:p

Carefully. I'm surprised that I've had less problems with them than I thought I would. Going up and down stairs is the hardest aside from ducking cabinet doors.

The ones i saw had such heavy soles they looked like they would be hard to lift and not leave behind. I guess a modified flip flop shuffle walk must work though

One year I attended a wrestling camp with the rest of my school's team for the summer. Our coach had brought with him a rather large jug of power aid powder, and left it where we all could get to it. Another unfortunate tendancy of some of our team mates was to leave their doors unlocked. While the shortest member of our team was taking a shower some of the guys snuck into his room and threw a large quantity of the powder over the curtain and onto his head. He came out with a blue face, and the smurf jokes that came afterwords were priceless.

Only a Deutschlander.:rolleyes: :D I suppose coming from a country where the tap water doesn't taste like pool and the beer... well, tastes like something... spoiled me a bit.

Here's another, though, from summer camp:

It was takedown, meaning we took down all the tents and moved all the wooden palettes into convenient stacks. We had no duct tape though, and radioed to have someone bring it to us. Someone did. In order to protect his identity, we will name him *****. We were all tired from lifting heavy wooden palettes, and so when we saw that ***** was wandering around aimlessly after bringing us the duct tape, one guy made the comment: "*****, we need help, not dicksucking!" to which ***** responded: "OK, bye then..."

We're pretty sure he didn't hear what he was told or that he stopped listening after the invitation to work that was implied in the "We need help..." :D

The ones i saw had such heavy soles they looked like they would be hard to lift and not leave behind. I guess a modified flip flop shuffle walk must work though

The soles on mine aren't heavy at all. The soles are rubber. I did have to take them off at the airport because I could have hid a weapon in them. The first day I wore them I thought I was stuck to the ground because I couldn't just lift my toes and step back (hard to explain). The most annoying part about them is the loud smacking sound they make when I walk on anything other than carpet.

The first thought that came to mind when I had my first American beer was: "How sad is it that the beer in this country tastes closer to what water should taste like than the water I get out of my faucet?"
Lol. I have to say though, you've gotta be drinking the wrong beer. Good American beer actually does exist - shocking, I know, but true. :p

Lol. I have to say though, you've gotta be drinking the wrong beer. Good American beer actually does exist - shocking, I know, but true. :pOf course! PBR and Bud (which must never EVER be referred to as Budweiser, since that is actually a good beer brewed in Budvar, Czech Republic) are particularly bad representatives and probably the main reason behind the local brewery phenomenon.

My friend tried to snowboard down a dirt hill on a broken Yield sign before. His dumbass broke, and he had to go to the hospital.

Of course! PBR and Bud (which must never EVER be referred to as Budweiser, since that is actually a good beer brewed in Budvar, Czech Republic) are particularly bad representatives and probably the main reason behind the local brewery phenomenon.
:eek: Your first American beers were PBR and Bud?! *shudders* I'm so sorry. And, yes, go find a local brewpub. Failing that, try something by Sierra Nevada, Gordon Biersch or New Belgium; I'm pretty sure those are widely available in supermarkets/liquor stores.

A while back there was a vegetarian thread in which I told the story of my old friend and her then-boyfriend, a pizza delivery, an angry tirade, and a soiled credit card. But there was another occasion we'd got together to eat:

One Saturday morning I met with the two of them for breakfast at a restaurant nearby the place I was working at overnights on weekends at the time. It was nearby a section of the city that had numerous slaughterhouses.

I found myself ordering extra bacon for breakfast - not to antagonize her bf (who'd had a major minor shitfit over meat the last we'd met) - but because I'd had this craving for it, ever since arriving to take my shift late the evening before. I discussed it with them while we waited for our plates to arrive.

"It's the slaughterhouses", opined the bf gravely,"what you're smelling is the pigs before they're slaughtered. They're afraid, you see - that's their adrenaline you're smelling. They know what's about to happen."

I thought about it for a moment, and just as the waitress arrived with our breakfasts, said: "Well, that's not much of a survival trait, is it? I mean - smelling just like delicious crispy bacon when they get scared? It's no wonder I have a craving for it", and happily munched a strip. "It's amazing they didn't go extinct smelling this tasty".

Number Two
It was hilarious, but I'm not supposed to discuss the case. Just imagine something that made both attorneys, the judge, and fifteen potential jurors crack up.

Number One
I stopped by the American Legion post on the way home. I actually said, "I'm not drinking today, just give me a beer."

I was doing my chemistry homework in history class one day. The assignment was to describe the appearance of various elements. I was writing the description for phosphorus, which is a "pale, yellow element." Unfortunately, as I was writing that phrase, my history teacher mentioned Civil War general Joseph Hooker. Some wires got crossed.

To make a long story short, I got my paper back, and noticed that the description now read... wait for it...

"Phosphorus is a pale, yellow hooker."

:D

This one time, I ate bacon for breakfast. But then I got thirsty, so I made a bacon smoothie. It was so awesome... I'm gonna have the same thing tomorrow.

this isnt humourous, you have failed

I have a few (okay more than a few, but I am only sharing a few)

1) when I was a freshman our advanced choir was going to sing at the state capitol, I was the only freshman in the choir and it was pretty early in the school year (well, okay it was around Christmas but still, it was our first actual concert) in the audience was not only the govenor, some senators etc. but the secretary of state.........you know the actual one, of the USA, super big deal for my inner city school......anyway, we are coming down the stairs carrying candles and singing a carol, in the dark......anyone see a problem yet? well, anyway, I am short, very short, like 5ft2 but in my freshman year I was only 4ft10, so my dress even though I ordered petite was too long by about 3 inches, and we had tried to get it hemmed but it was too late, and I was walking down the stairs in the dark, with a candle, very nervous.........I stepped on my skirt by accident and fell forward taking out about 7 people in front of me, very domino effect-ish, I think I caught someone's hair on fire briefly with my candle on the way down, and I am sure I yelled something inappropriate........all I really remember is falling and waking up with secret service agents standing over me.http://elouai.com/images/yahoo/a08.gif

2) Also when I was a freshman I had a crush on a boy, and I was talking to my friend walking out into the parking lot to get to her car but instead of looking where I was going I was staring at him, just about the time he looked in my direction I ran into the bike rack and fell and broke my ankle, he rushed over to help me and said "I saw you looking at me, next time you could just ask me out instead of trying to kill yourself" :rolleyes:

3) today I was chasing my kids around my yard (for fun) and I slipped on the wet grass and fell down. not as funny as the other two, but my kids thought it was hilarious.;)

these are humourous, United Chicken Kleptos, learn from Smunkeeville, those were priceless :D

one of mine (well my Dad's), it happened yesturday.

My dad was re-heating a pasta sauce on the gas hob, and he thought he could smell burning, so he pushed the sauce around a bit, no burning, he was there for a abu=out a minute, then smoke started billowing out from behind the pan with the sauce in. Finally he bent down to see all this weeks mail hade been pushed onto the flame and was in the process of incinerating itself.

He put it out later, but i personally think that he was trying to burn some bills...

Well me and my brother were playing basketball and the ball started rolling down the hill, faster and faster..

Well I was running after the ball and my puppy was running with me..

As the ball kept rolling down the street, I heard this car come to a really fast stop behind me..

The car had hit my puppy.. :(

Amazing how many of these stories involve personal injury...

Last summer I was inter-railing around Eastern Europe with friends. We were staying in Kosice (Slovakia) overnight and were staying in a massive Communist-era hotel (400 rooms, of which about 20 had people in). Anyway. We were getting a train early the next morning, and a few of us decided to stay up all night and play cards. So there was me and two friends in my room waiting for a fourth guy to get there so we could start playing. Five minutes passed...ten...fifteen...an hour...90 minutes...two hours...by this time we were beginning to think of just going to bed. Eventually my two friends did go to bed, and I went for a piss. I came back into the room to find the fourth guy standing there with a rather pained expression on his face. He'd been hiding in the cupboard in the room, which was slightly too short for him to stand up straight in, for two hours, in an extremely uncomfortable position.

Amazing how many of these stories involve personal injury...

Last summer I was inter-railing around Eastern Europe with friends. We were staying in Kosice (Slovakia) overnight and were staying in a massive Communist-era hotel (400 rooms, of which about 20 had people in). Anyway. We were getting a train early the next morning, and a few of us decided to stay up all night and play cards. So there was me and two friends in my room waiting for a fourth guy to get there so we could start playing. Five minutes passed...ten...fifteen...an hour...90 minutes...two hours...by this time we were beginning to think of just going to bed. Eventually my two friends did go to bed, and I went for a piss. I came back into the room to find the fourth guy standing there with a rather pained expression on his face. He'd been hiding in the cupboard in the room, which was slightly too short for him to stand up straight in, for two hours, in an extremely uncomfortable position.

lol why was he in the cupboard?

Well me and my brother were playing basketball and the ball started rolling down the hill, faster and faster..

Well I was running after the ball and my puppy was running with me..

As the ball kept rolling down the street, I heard this car come to a really fast stop behind me..

The car had hit my puppy.. :(

If its wrong to laugh at that I don't wanna be right.

lol why was he in the cupboard?
He thought it would be funny to step out of it at some point and surprise us. But he said that there was never a perfect moment, and then his legs started to go numb. Apparently he pretty much fell out of the cupboard when we'd all gone.

He thought it would be funny to step out of it at some point and surprise us. But he said that there was never a perfect moment, and then his legs started to go numb. Apparently he pretty much fell out of the cupboard when we'd all gone.

ha legend, :D

He thought it would be funny to step out of it at some point and surprise us. But he said that there was never a perfect moment, and then his legs started to go numb. Apparently he pretty much fell out of the cupboard when we'd all gone.

This guy rocks so much I cannot express with mere words over the internet.

Wanna come over for coffee? :p

This guy rocks so much I cannot express with mere words over the internet.

Wanna come over for coffee? :p

no only beer

wait, you mean that comment wasnt directed at me :(

*shuffles off*

On a very hot summer's day, I accidentally stuck my tongue to the freezer door. My family thought it was hilarious. I recall it as extremely painful & very humiliating.

We were visiting Germany with friends some year ago, and visiting pubs. In one pub we ordered 'normal' shots (of Jagermeister) and while waiting them discussed if there exists remote possibility of having shots of smaller size than 50g (as we in previous pub had been served beer in 0.3l glasses as normal size). And then came bartender with shots in extremely tiny 25g glasses. I think we laughed for an hour as we had never seen such tiny glasses before. That was sooooo damn funny :D

On a very hot summer's day, I accidentally stuck my tongue to the freezer door. My family thought it was hilarious. I recall it as extremely painful & very humiliating.

*sniggers*

So, here I am, at my job, taking orders for the drive-through, right?(I work at Wendy's.) We recently introduced Vanilla Frosties(Frosties being a soft-serve ice cream type thing, not a damned milkshake.) Only thing is, customers seem to have this tendency to...how should I put it...NOT READ THE FUCKING SIGNBOARDS.

"Hi, may I take your order?"
"Yeah I'd like a small Frosty."
"Chocolate or Vanilla?"
"That's it."
*Me rolls eyes* "Chocolate or Vanilla?"
"That's it."
"Chocolate or Vanilla?"
Some lady in the backround: "They don't have Vanilla."
Guy ordering: "You don't have Vanilla."
"Yes we do sir: we recently introduced it."
"Oh. Uh...strawberry."
*Me hisses and clenches a fist* "We don't have strawberry; just chocolate and vanilla."
"You know what? Fuck it. I didn't want the Frosty anyway."

And then the idiot goes zooming through the drive-through and rear ends the person at the second window. At this point everyone else listening in on the headsets is in an uproar, laughing. Me? Well...I was just annoyed.


For another story: at work we have this bun warmer, made by the Amana company. It's basically a microwave, though preset for bun warming, pita warming(not that we do pitas, but it has buttons for them anyway) and also for pans of bacon. Despite this, we use it for other stuff too; whatever you'd normally use a microwave for. So, Imelda, a coworker, tosses a storebought muffin in there. Turns out the idiots who baked the muffin had a tiny little metal tie fall into the dough or something and get baked into the muffin.(Believe me, that can happen: we had a similar thing occur to one of the burgers we prepared.) So, as the muffin is warming up, the bun warmer starts sparking due to the metal, then the damned muffin catches FIRE! The thing is burning up all over the place, and Imelda decides to splash it with the nearest liquid to put it out.

Sadly, that liquid was actually a small amount of oil. I don't know what idiot left that around, but the instant that oil went into the fire, the flame let out a SHOOM sound and encompassed the microwave. This, as much as it might seem otherwise, was freaking hilarious. As it turned out later, the microwave was completely undamaged apart from a slightly charred interior. Imelda got off with a warning, and a few signs were posted everywhere to remind everyone of normal procedure, yadda yadda yadda, that kind of thing.

Well, I don't know if any of this was funy or not, but it was funny to me. Might just be due to the fact that I actually work there.

So, here I am, at my job, taking orders for the drive-through, right?(I work at Wendy's.) We recently introduced Vanilla Frosties(Frosties being a soft-serve ice cream type thing, not a damned milkshake.) Only thing is, customers seem to have this tendency to...how should I put it...NOT READ THE FUCKING SIGNBOARDS.

"Hi, may I take your order?"
"Yeah I'd like a small Frosty."
"Chocolate or Vanilla?"
"That's it."
*Me rolls eyes* "Chocolate or Vanilla?"
"That's it."
"Chocolate or Vanilla?"
Some lady in the backround: "They don't have Vanilla."
Guy ordering: "You don't have Vanilla."
"Yes we do sir: we recently introduced it."
"Oh. Uh...strawberry."
*Me hisses and clenches a fist* "We don't have strawberry; just chocolate and vanilla."
"You know what? Fuck it. I didn't want the Frosty anyway."

And then the idiot goes zooming through the drive-through and rear ends the person at the second window. At this point everyone else listening in on the headsets is in an uproar, laughing. Me? Well...I was just annoyed.


For another story: at work we have this bun warmer, made by the Amana company. It's basically a microwave, though preset for bun warming, pita warming(not that we do pitas, but it has buttons for them anyway) and also for pans of bacon. Despite this, we use it for other stuff too; whatever you'd normally use a microwave for. So, Imelda, a coworker, tosses a storebought muffin in there. Turns out the idiots who baked the muffin had a tiny little metal tie fall into the dough or something and get baked into the muffin.(Believe me, that can happen: we had a similar thing occur to one of the burgers we prepared.) So, as the muffin is warming up, the bun warmer starts sparking due to the metal, then the damned muffin catches FIRE! The thing is burning up all over the place, and Imelda decides to splash it with the nearest liquid to put it out.

Sadly, that liquid was actually a small amount of oil. I don't know what idiot left that around, but the instant that oil went into the fire, the flame let out a SHOOM sound and encompassed the microwave. This, as much as it might seem otherwise, was freaking hilarious. As it turned out later, the microwave was completely undamaged apart from a slightly charred interior. Imelda got off with a warning, and a few signs were posted everywhere to remind everyone of normal procedure, yadda yadda yadda, that kind of thing.

Well, I don't know if any of this was funy or not, but it was funny to me. Might just be due to the fact that I actually work there.

the exploding muffin was funny, so was the idiot orderman who doesnt know the difference between vanilla and chocolate, ha

overall pretty funny :D

So, here I am, at my job, taking orders for the drive-through, right?(I work at Wendy's.) We recently introduced Vanilla Frosties(Frosties being a soft-serve ice cream type thing, not a damned milkshake.) Only thing is, customers seem to have this tendency to...how should I put it...NOT READ THE FUCKING SIGNBOARDS.

"Hi, may I take your order?"
"Yeah I'd like a small Frosty."
"Chocolate or Vanilla?"
"That's it."
*Me rolls eyes* "Chocolate or Vanilla?"
"That's it."
"Chocolate or Vanilla?"
Some lady in the backround: "They don't have Vanilla."
Guy ordering: "You don't have Vanilla."
"Yes we do sir: we recently introduced it."
"Oh. Uh...strawberry."
*Me hisses and clenches a fist* "We don't have strawberry; just chocolate and vanilla."
"You know what? Fuck it. I didn't want the Frosty anyway."

And then the idiot goes zooming through the drive-through and rear ends the person at the second window. At this point everyone else listening in on the headsets is in an uproar, laughing. Me? Well...I was just annoyed.

oh, I have tons of those, the only people stupider than my co-workers when I worked in fast food were the customers.

Interviewer: "So, Lt. Gen. Reinwald, what are you going to do with these young boys on their adventure holiday?"

Lt. Gen. Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."

Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

Lt. Gen. Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the range."

Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

Lt. Gen. Reinwald: "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm."

Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."

Lt. Gen. Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"

*end of interview*

So, here I am, at my job, taking orders for the drive-through, right?(I work at Wendy's.) We recently introduced Vanilla Frosties(Frosties being a soft-serve ice cream type thing, not a damned milkshake.) Only thing is, customers seem to have this tendency to...how should I put it...NOT READ THE FUCKING SIGNBOARDS.

"Hi, may I take your order?"
"Yeah I'd like a small Frosty."
"Chocolate or Vanilla?"
"That's it."
*Me rolls eyes* "Chocolate or Vanilla?"
"That's it."
"Chocolate or Vanilla?"
Some lady in the backround: "They don't have Vanilla."
Guy ordering: "You don't have Vanilla."
"Yes we do sir: we recently introduced it."
"Oh. Uh...strawberry."
*Me hisses and clenches a fist* "We don't have strawberry; just chocolate and vanilla."
"You know what? Fuck it. I didn't want the Frosty anyway."

And then the idiot goes zooming through the drive-through and rear ends the person at the second window. At this point everyone else listening in on the headsets is in an uproar, laughing. Me? Well...I was just annoyed.


For another story: at work we have this bun warmer, made by the Amana company. It's basically a microwave, though preset for bun warming, pita warming(not that we do pitas, but it has buttons for them anyway) and also for pans of bacon. Despite this, we use it for other stuff too; whatever you'd normally use a microwave for. So, Imelda, a coworker, tosses a storebought muffin in there. Turns out the idiots who baked the muffin had a tiny little metal tie fall into the dough or something and get baked into the muffin.(Believe me, that can happen: we had a similar thing occur to one of the burgers we prepared.) So, as the muffin is warming up, the bun warmer starts sparking due to the metal, then the damned muffin catches FIRE! The thing is burning up all over the place, and Imelda decides to splash it with the nearest liquid to put it out.

Sadly, that liquid was actually a small amount of oil. I don't know what idiot left that around, but the instant that oil went into the fire, the flame let out a SHOOM sound and encompassed the microwave. This, as much as it might seem otherwise, was freaking hilarious. As it turned out later, the microwave was completely undamaged apart from a slightly charred interior. Imelda got off with a warning, and a few signs were posted everywhere to remind everyone of normal procedure, yadda yadda yadda, that kind of thing.

Well, I don't know if any of this was funy or not, but it was funny to me. Might just be due to the fact that I actually work there.
That is pretty funny. I did some time in fast food (Roy Roger's).

Anyway, one of my favorite things to do when I was about 17 was, after getting baked with my friends, go through the drive through for food and after getting our munchies, tell the drive through guy that the dumpster seems to be on fire. The trick was to keep a straight face (not easy when you're really fried), and if asked, just repeat that the contense of the dumpster is burning. On a couple of occasions I've had the drive through person run to his manager screaming that the dumpster's on fire. Maybe it's not that funny of an anecdote, but when it worked it got a carload of stoners laughing pretty good.

Interviewer: "So, Lt. Gen. Reinwald, what are you going to do with these young boys on their adventure holiday?"

Lt. Gen. Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."

Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"

Lt. Gen. Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the range."

Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"

Lt. Gen. Reinwald: "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm."

Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."

Lt. Gen. Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"

*end of interview*


is this for real? if do its hilarious

My cat died. :(

My cat died. :(

*sniggers* er wait, i mean, poor you

two of my cats have died :(

is this for real? if do its hilarious

No, it was part of a skit. But it is hilarious, and does bring up a valid point.

No, it was part of a skit. But it is hilarious, and does bring up a valid point.

yes yes it does


------


and on a sidenote, where have all the anecdotes gone?

I was a manager opening the store one day at a pizza joint, when the phone rang. It was a buddy of mine who was a manager at another joint a few miles away.

Him: "Shit man...I'm gonna get fired!"
Me: "Why? You forget to do something?" (sarcasm in voice)
Him: "No man...I uh, fuckin' broke the front doors..."
Me: (amused tone, yet somewhat serious) "You always were a bit rough with opening the do--"
Him: "I fuckin' broke the doors with a slingshot!"
Me: *silence* (a few seconds passed) "And why in the hell do you have a slingshot?"
Him: "I wanted to see if I could top pizzas with it. I never knew frozen sausage was strong enough to break glass..."
Me: "You're so fuckin' fired!"

Later in the day, he gave me another call back to update me on the matter.

Him: "I talked to Larry (area supervisor), told him that the door had been broken."
Me: "By you, right?"
Him: "No, I said some idiot had been firing stuff into the store from outside."
Me: "And he believed you?"
Him: "No...I still gotta come up with $400 to replace the doors."

This was a guy who wasn't always serious about his job or thoroughly thought through his actions BEFORE he did them...

I was a manager opening the store one day at a pizza joint, when the phone rang. It was a buddy of mine who was a manager at another joint a few miles away.

Him: "Shit man...I'm gonna get fired!"
Me: "Why? You forget to do something?" (sarcasm in voice)
Him: "No man...I uh, fuckin' broke the front doors..."
Me: (amused tone, yet somewhat serious) "You always were a bit rough with opening the do--"
Him: "I fuckin' broke the doors with a slingshot!"
Me: *silence* (a few seconds passed) "And why in the hell do you have a slingshot?"
Him: "I wanted to see if I could top pizzas with it. I never knew frozen sausage was strong enough to break glass..."
Me: "You're so fuckin' fired!"

Later in the day, he gave me another call back to update me on the matter.

Him: "I talked to Larry (area supervisor), told him that the door had been broken."
Me: "By you, right?"
Him: "No, I said some idiot had been firing stuff into the store from outside."
Me: "And he believed you?"
Him: "No...I still gotta come up with $400 to replace the doors."

This was a guy who wasn't always serious about his job or thoroughly thought through his actions BEFORE he did them...

lol, i wouldnt have thought a bit of frozwn sausage would be enough to break glass