NationStates Jolt Archive

Question mostly for the females of NS, but some males may help to (please, please, please, no 'oh, you're so sexist' remarks).
My sister, who some of you may know of from previous threads, lives in Monaco and has one toddler, Maria (named after me). She and her husband are going to see her parents, which aren't mine (my family's a bit mucked up) in Malta. So I have to look after the baby. I'm not married, nor do i have any children. What should I do? I've been worrying all week - she arrives tomorrow. I've spoken to my Mother, and she said
"If she's anything like you, lock her in a cupboard and give her food at arms length." Helpful.

Question mostly for the females of NS, but some males may help to (please, please, please, no 'oh, you're so sexist' remarks).
My sister, who some of you may know of from previous threads, lives in Monaco and has one toddler, Maria (named after me). She and her husband are going to see her parents, which aren't mine (my family's a bit mucked up) in Malta. So I have to look after the baby. I'm not married, nor do i have any children. What should I do? I've been worrying all week - she arrives tomorrow. I've spoken to my Mother, and she said
"If she's anything like you, lock her in a cupboard and give her food at arms length." Helpful.
A toddler? You poor, poor woman. Batten down the hatches and be prepared for a small, localized hurricane.

Question mostly for the females of NS, but some males may help to (please, please, please, no 'oh, you're so sexist' remarks).
My sister, who some of you may know of from previous threads, lives in Monaco and has one toddler, Maria (named after me). She and her husband are going to see her parents, which aren't mine (my family's a bit mucked up) in Malta. So I have to look after the baby. I'm not married, nor do i have any children. What should I do? I've been worrying all week - she arrives tomorrow. I've spoken to my Mother, and she said
"If she's anything like you, lock her in a cupboard and give her food at arms length." Helpful.

Try shiny things, limited sugar (for your sake!), 'mummy and daddy are coming back really soon, so let's xyz till they do', nap times, and parks. You're allowed to spoil her a little so don't worry, you're not her parent!

Keep one end fed and the other end clean and you'll be fine!

Just try to keep her entertained and away from sugar.

iam male but i say do not get mad with them if they do samething you dont like
it dont work they keep doing it

Try shiny things, limited sugar (for your sake!), 'mummy and daddy are coming back really soon, so let's xyz till they do', nap times, and parks. You're allowed to spoil her a little so don't worry, you're not her parent!

But there's nothing to spoil a girl from Monegasque Money with - for God's sake, my sister, by hereself, earns double what I do. She's probably used to expensive toys etc - I do know that, during times when her parents are at work, she has a Nanny - but Mme Pailaurd is also on holiday. But then again, maybe I'll do her some good, showing her some good, cheap but REAL fun.

Just thought of something else to worry about - my French is passsable, but not what you'd call amazing. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

But there's nothing to spoil a girl from Monegasque Money with - for God's sake, my sister, by hereself, earns double what I do. She's probably used to expensive toys etc - I do know that, during times when her parents are at work, she has a Nanny - but Mme Pailaurd is also on holiday. But then again, maybe I'll do her some good, showing her some good, cheap but REAL fun.

Just thought of something else to worry about - my French is passsable, but not what you'd call amazing. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Money doesn't come into it at this age. A big cardboard box or a ball might be enough.

Just thought of something else to worry about - my French is passsable, but not what you'd call amazing. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

How old is this toddler ? It probably will not matter much if she is very young ;)
Do prepare for little sleep.

fuck with her head.
Tell that because she's been so naughty, Mummy and Daddy have left her and will never see her again.
However if she's really really quiet and good, they might - just might, mind you - come back to get her.

Either that or tell that they weren't her real parents. Her real parents were eaten by koala bears and she was raised by a wombat until she was 6 months old.


If nothing else, your sister will never ask you to look after her kid again.

I suggest tranquilisers. Small ones won't stop a charging toddler, though... for toddlers, you need elephant tranquilisers. Lots of them. Maybe you can get her to calm down slightly, although I wouldn't bet on it.

Disclamer: Does not actually advocate tranquilising toddlers.

But there's nothing to spoil a girl from Monegasque Money with - for God's sake, my sister, by hereself, earns double what I do. She's probably used to expensive toys etc - I do know that, during times when her parents are at work, she has a Nanny - but Mme Pailaurd is also on holiday. But then again, maybe I'll do her some good, showing her some good, cheap but REAL fun.
At that age, no worries. ANYTHING can be interesting as long as someone who is trusted in nearby to chase away anything scary (toddlers love safe exploring).

Heck, passing though an airport I managed to absolutly entrance a 2 year old by a small key tote from Japan on my bag and this kid had a portable DVD player next to him.

Just thought of something else to worry about - my French is passsable, but not what you'd call amazing. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Not a problem at that age either. They're learning language so she'll pick up yours fast.

Toddlers need a consistent and clear direction AT ALL TIMES! You are going to have to repeat yourself a lot "we don't run in the house", "we don't hit", "we don't throw toys" etc.

You need to figure out right now what the rules are, and stick to them. Any variation is going to start you back at square one. Find out what the kid's schedule is and stick to that, wake up at the same time everyday, eat at the same time, play at the same time, do the same bed time routine.

How old exactly is the kid?

But there's nothing to spoil a girl from Monegasque Money with - for God's sake, my sister, by hereself, earns double what I do. She's probably used to expensive toys etc - I do know that, during times when her parents are at work, she has a Nanny - but Mme Pailaurd is also on holiday. But then again, maybe I'll do her some good, showing her some good, cheap but REAL fun.

Just thought of something else to worry about - my French is passsable, but not what you'd call amazing. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Sorry - I meant spoiling as in behaviour and leniency, what she gets away with - if you can't always direct her right (see Smunkeeville's post though, excellent ideas for toddler control!), don't worry too much, you're only in charge for a while! You won't be doing her any big lasting harm, was what I was trying to say. The stakes aren't massively high.

And will she not be bringing toys and some familiar things from home with her (well, packaged by her parents, I mean)? You can't be expected to go out and buy stuff to keep her entertained all by yourself, surely, a lot will kind of arrive with her, I'd have thought, no? :confused:

Hmm. I'm male, and I've never had a problem caring for toddlers alone.

Here in the US, I've been married to two women, who, after bearing their children, didn't want to have anything to do with them.

It's not like it's rocket science or something. If you truly want to do it, you'll do fine.

fuck with her head.
Tell that because she's been so naughty, Mummy and Daddy have left her and will never see her again.
However if she's really really quiet and good, they might - just might, mind you - come back to get her.

Either that or tell that they weren't her real parents. Her real parents were eaten by koala bears and she was raised by a wombat until she was 6 months old.


If nothing else, your sister will never ask you to look after her kid again.


"Did you change her?"

"Probably."

:D

"Did you change her?"

"Probably."

:D

"Your parents are heathens. Let me teach you about Jesus."

The girl's four. And when you said I need to wake up for her, from what i can tell, I'll be wooken up at all times. Ah, well. i do it for work anyway. and she'll be bringing some things, but not too much of it.
How well do kids adapt to a new environment? She's used ot the sea, can see it from her window, but here in Luxembourg, we don't even have a coastline - I myself have only seen the sea twice (once staying at my sister's in Monaco, and once visiting my stepparents (for the first and last times) in Malta.Luckily, she's used to a 24hr city, and the most policemen per m2 in the world.
I've no idea as to her routine, but I'd assume it's the same as I was at that age - wakeup & breakfast - 7hrs, or 7:00 for you Foreigners
lunch - 1hrs, or 1:00
afternoon tea - 4hrs-ish, or 4:00ish
dinner - 8:00
But I understand that most girls don't actually stick to what is considered an 'old fashioned style of eating, that is, with afternoon tea (with cake) and elevenses...:confused:

So I have to look after the baby. I'm not married, nor do i have any children. What should I do?
Any recipe based on roast pork should work OK, although you might need to increase the cooking time dependant on mass. Don't forget to wash it thoroughly; they're dirty little buggers.

With a four-year-old a spit-roast might work nicely.

The girl's four. And when you said I need to wake up for her, from what i can tell, I'll be wooken up at all times.
4 year olds in general should sleep through the night, if they have a bad dream they will wake up and need reassurance, but other than that she should sleep through the night.


How well do kids adapt to a new environment? She's used ot the sea, can see it from her window, but here in Luxembourg, we don't even have a coastline - I myself have only seen the sea twice (once staying at my sister's in Monaco, and once visiting my stepparents (for the first and last times) in Malta.Luckily, she's used to a 24hr city, and the most policemen per m2 in the world.

a 4 year old is old enough to understand she is just visiting and can adapt pretty well to new scenery but if the environment is very different it may take some extra attention (loud vs. quiet or relaxed vs. strict)

I've no idea as to her routine, but I'd assume it's the same as I was at that age - wakeup & breakfast - 7hrs, or 7:00 for you Foreigners
lunch - 1hrs, or 1:00
afternoon tea - 4hrs-ish, or 4:00ish
dinner - 8:00
But I understand that most girls don't actually stick to what is considered an 'old fashioned style of eating, that is, with afternoon tea (with cake) and elevenses...:confused:

the bed time routine is the most important, find out if she has a bath then or earlier in the day, if they read a story or sing a song or whatever. It's okay to have your own routine just keep in mind kids need to know what's coming up especially in a new place.


as far as entertainment 4 year olds like music, they like to play games, they should be able to take turns (so playing go fish is an option, but nothing too complicated) color and counting games are fun, and she would probably like to do some crafts, coloring is good, 4 year olds like to glue or tape, letting her tear up colored paper or magazines and tape or glue them to a peice of paper would be fun for her.

Remember that she has about a 20 minute attention span, so don't expect much more than that she might sit down for a movie, but probably won't watch it all. A bored 4 year old is dangerous, they are just smart enough to get into a LOT of trouble.

Praise is about the best thing for keeping a 4 year old in line, if she does something good be happy, sugary sick happy. She will keep doing stuff to get that attention. Smile a lot, it makes them trust you. ;)

4 year olds in general should sleep through the night, if they have a bad dream they will wake up and need reassurance, but other than that she should sleep through the night.




a 4 year old is old enough to understand she is just visiting and can adapt pretty well to new scenery but if the environment is very different it may take some extra attention (loud vs. quiet or relaxed vs. strict)



the bed time routine is the most important, find out if she has a bath then or earlier in the day, if they read a story or sing a song or whatever. It's okay to have your own routine just keep in mind kids need to know what's coming up especially in a new place.


as far as entertainment 4 year olds like music, they like to play games, they should be able to take turns (so playing go fish is an option, but nothing too complicated) color and counting games are fun, and she would probably like to do some crafts, coloring is good, 4 year olds like to glue or tape, letting her tear up colored paper or magazines and tape or glue them to a peice of paper would be fun for her.

Remember that she has about a 20 minute attention span, so don't expect much more than that she might sit down for a movie, but probably won't watch it all. A bored 4 year old is dangerous, they are just smart enough to get into a LOT of trouble.

Praise is about the best thing for keeping a 4 year old in line, if she does something good be happy, sugary sick happy. She will keep doing stuff to get that attention. Smile a lot, it makes them trust you. ;)

*writes this down too*

as far as entertainment 4 year olds like music, they like to play games, they should be able to take turns (so playing go fish is an option, but nothing too complicated) color and counting games are fun, and she would probably like to do some crafts, coloring is good, 4 year olds like to glue or tape, letting her tear up colored paper or magazines and tape or glue them to a peice of paper would be fun for her.

Remember that a kid that age would much rather have a good time playing than watching TV.

TV is boring.

Remember that a kid that age would much rather have a good time playing than watching TV.

TV is boring.

oh yes of course, TV is one dimensional, play can be a new thing whenever they are tired of the old.

I cannot overemphasize the concept of "floor time".

When you play, and especially when you talk to a 4-year old, come down to where they are.

Look them in the eye, and smile.

If you tower over them (as you do) and yell at them, you're going to piss them off.

I cannot overemphasize the concept of "floor time".

When you play, and especially when you talk to a 4-year old, come down to where they are.

Look them in the eye, and smile.

If you tower over them (as you do) and yell at them, you're going to piss them off.

yes, I agree. When giving instruction try not to use negative words and always get eye level with them.

"no, no running in the house!" when said from 4 feet above them is scary and mean

"remember we walk in the house" when said at eye level is a gentle reminder and will probably be more effective.

Question mostly for the females of NS, but some males may help to (please, please, please, no 'oh, you're so sexist' remarks).
My sister, who some of you may know of from previous threads, lives in Monaco and has one toddler, Maria (named after me). She and her husband are going to see her parents, which aren't mine (my family's a bit mucked up) in Malta. So I have to look after the baby. I'm not married, nor do i have any children. What should I do? I've been worrying all week - she arrives tomorrow. I've spoken to my Mother, and she said
"If she's anything like you, lock her in a cupboard and give her food at arms length." Helpful.
I've only read the first post, so I have no idea what others have said, but why don't you ask your sister if you are unsure?? She looks after her everyday...and as you dont have kids you cant possibly be expected to know how to look after her?

I'm crap with kids, that would be my worst nightmare!

4 year olds are a delight. its a sunny positive helpful age. she is old enough to know the rules and to understand that they need to be obeyed.

you will have a great time. you are her exotic auntie. she is likely to adore you and everything you do. the worst thing you are probably going to have to deal with is her incessant talking.

so your question is "what do i DO with a 4 year old?"

spend the morning "cleaning". 4 year olds love household chores. she can help wash the dishes, sweep the floor, help make the beds. any "adult" chore will be fun for her as long as you are doing it with her.

when it comes time for lunch, dont feed her, have her help you make the meal, set the table, pour the milk and clean up afterwards. she is a big girl and will enjoy being treated like one.

after lunch go outside. a trip to a local park is ideal so she can run around and burn off a bunch of energy. keep her in close sight at all times. if there is water in the park, make paper boats to float in the pond. if you have a magnifying glass, take it along to look at insects close up.

do dinner the same as lunch. the more she helps the more she will enjoy it.

after dinner have something special to do. read books, play dressup with the clothes from your closet, watch her favorite video together.

do some girly girly things together. braid her hair. put on fingernail polish, give her a "facial", let her try a bit of your lipstick. whatever seems good at the time.

in the between times, have stuff for her to do quietly by herself. if her parents dont bring workbooks for her to busy herself with, take her on a special trip to the store to get a couple. coloring, mazes, dot-to-dot, that sort of thing.

if she is used to having a nap, dont skip it! dont be out of the house near the time she usually naps or you might suddenly have a cranky brat on your hands. its your job to make sure that that doesnt happen by having her back home at the right time.

if she cries a bit for mommy before going to sleep just sit quietly with her until she drops off to sleep. arrange a time with your sister when she can call and be sure of getting to talk to mommy and daddy. if she cries for mommy at other times, dont make a big deal of it, remind her that she can call mommy later or that mommy is coming to get her soon and leave it at that.

if you feel the need to buy her a toy while she is with you, cheap toys are as fun to 4 year olds as expensive ones. there is a whole industry devoted to toys that cost less than 1 euro. let her pick out one or 2 and she'll be thrilled.

youre going to have a great time. take pictures that you can print up and send to her to remind her of her stay with you.

put away anything that would break your heart if it got broken. a 4 year old is old enough to not knock things over the way a real toddler does but it can be close to impossible for them to resist handling your most beautiful things.

you dont have to worry about her putting her fingers into electrical outlets or drinking the soap under the kitchen sink. she might decide to try your perfume and spill it, however.

"Did you change her?"
"Nope! Still the same one you left me with."

okay, toddler+inexperience doesnt necesarily= bad.
Keep anything she could chew eat stab herself on out of arms reach.Keep her away from stairs/steps ect.Toddlers will eat anything.Make sure you know if she is allergic of hypersensitive to anything.
Dont worry about her getting mucky,dirt is fine!
If she starts crying, distract her with something shiny/fun/musical.Try and ignore bad behaviour,but make sure if shes naughty she knows about it.
Make sure if she wants to chew something it is a childs chew toy,or a dummy.allow for a nap tinme after lunchtime(after food).
play with her a lot and you will be fine.
ps,she will love to dress up and put on your make up,enjoy it!(as another poster has already pointed out)

I cannot overemphasize the concept of "floor time".

When you play, and especially when you talk to a 4-year old, come down to where they are.

Look them in the eye, and smile.

If you tower over them (as you do) and yell at them, you're going to piss them off.

too right!keep calm and talk nicely and all will be good!

too right!keep calm and talk nicely and all will be good!

You make it sound as though a small child was a terrorist holding a bomb.

I have never bought the idea that somehow, small children were difficult, unreasonable, or hard to deal with. It's just never been difficult for me, and I don't have to raise my voice or spank them.

But there's nothing to spoil a girl from Monegasque Money with - for God's sake, my sister, by hereself, earns double what I do. She's probably used to expensive toys etc - I do know that, during times when her parents are at work, she has a Nanny - but Mme Pailaurd is also on holiday. But then again, maybe I'll do her some good, showing her some good, cheap but REAL fun.

Just thought of something else to worry about - my French is passsable, but not what you'd call amazing. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

dont worry about that, a toddler can pick up what your saying in any language, when I was that age I went to Ialy for a short time, and understood everything people said in italian, I learn a lot in a matter of days.
if you are unsure of what to say, do some painting-if she doesnt understand the word apple, paint an apple.Toddlers love to paint, try finger/hand/foot painting.

About an hour before your sister returns, load her up with Moutain Dew and as much sugar as you possibly can.

You make it sound as though a small child was a terrorist holding a bomb.

I have never bought the idea that somehow, small children were difficult, unreasonable, or hard to deal with. It's just never been difficult for me, and I don't have to raise my voice or spank them.

thats what I mean, a child doesnt have to be trouble as long as you dont get worked up or frustrated,talk nicely to them ect.I didnt mean to imply the child was a terrorist(:p )I love kids,my neice is the same age as the child mentioned and she is bight as a button, sweet and funny,and loves art, but cant take shouting from her nana hence the emphasis on taking nicely..

About an hour before your sister returns, load her up with Moutain Dew and as much sugar as you possibly can.

I've found that people who send their kids to our house (our house is very popular, as we have five kids already) to play or for us to watch them while they go out haven't yet discovered that we lay a healthy amount of Jesus on the kids, who soak it up like sponges.

I take that back - one woman does know, because her daughter called her a backslider (her mom is a former Baptist).

Right, OK, thanks she's here very soon, so
Just one more question. You said to take away anything valuable - but some of my most valuable possesions are paintings. Huge ones. Of her - and my - ancestors from 1758 onwards. They cover the entire frontal gallery, so it would be kind of bare, don't you think. and I think it would be nice for her to see my side of the family, which my sister has never really introduced her to. Now, I can't actually get her to meet the living ones, as they're in Malta, but paintings of dead- and living ones might do (I really should of sold them, I'm not that rich - I just get a big photo-portrait - in my mother's attic!!)

And me? Exotic? From Luxembourg? :p :p :p Though she's not old enough to see that I'm not exotic. And now I must go. Its that bloody doorbell. The moment has arrived...

just explain that they are for looking and not touching. ;) a 4 year old should be able to understand that.

You make it sound as though a small child was a terrorist holding a bomb.

I have never bought the idea that somehow, small children were difficult, unreasonable, or hard to deal with. It's just never been difficult for me, and I don't have to raise my voice or spank them.

It depends almost exclusively on the parents. My cousin's kids are little terrors at ages 12 and 7. My brother's kids at the same age are quite well behaved. I find my opinion of wether or not I'd like to have kids varies based upon which I've seen more recently.

It depends almost exclusively on the parents. My cousin's kids are little terrors at ages 12 and 7. My brother's kids at the same age are quite well behaved. I find my opinion of wether or not I'd like to have kids varies based upon which I've seen more recently.

They are terrors because their parents have fostered an environment that makes them act that way.

It is simplicity itself to manipulate the behavior of young children without their knowledge. I haven't had any problems at all - and I don't have to appear as "The Iron Fist Parent".

Right, OK, thanks she's here very soon, so
Just one more question. You said to take away anything valuable - but some of my most valuable possesions are paintings. Huge ones. Of her - and my - ancestors from 1758 onwards. They cover the entire frontal gallery, so it would be kind of bare, don't you think. and I think it would be nice for her to see my side of the family, which my sister has never really introduced her to. Now, I can't actually get her to meet the living ones, as they're in Malta, but paintings of dead- and living ones might do (I really should of sold them, I'm not that rich - I just get a big photo-portrait - in my mother's attic!!)

And me? Exotic? From Luxembourg? :p :p :p Though she's not old enough to see that I'm not exotic. And now I must go. Its that bloody doorbell. The moment has arrived...

good luck! let us know how it goes.

Its going fine. Shes a perfect littel girl - she hasb't been naughty yet, or even broken anything. Here's just a couple of things that I thought I had to tell you:
Me: (Wondering whether to take her to church) Do you beleive in Jesus?
Her: Tante Maria, I don't want Jesus. He can't even bake a cottage pie!
Me: *Speechless* Thjat's a new one.

Someone said to watch a 'movie' together - so we did. i gather it was funny, but I only understood about 2/3 of it - it was in French, about some Inspector someone or other?

She loved the house - she's never really lived in a big house in a rural nation - her villa in Monaco is far different to my outdated old house. And I discovered a great way to amuse her - I showed her the 'secret' door - (this is going to sound like something out of a bad movie, but I understand they have them in English big houses too) you simply twist the 'bookcase' and end up in the music room. I did, however ban her from actually going in there - the ceiling and wall murals are far to old and they, along with delicate chairs that i don't dare sit in, and instruments I don't dare paly, could easily be damaged by a curious child.

But this morning, she seems to prefer the horses to me - so she's obviously happy, which is good. Thanks for your advice - the floor time thing was useful too.