NationStates Jolt Archive

Linky (http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/man-trapped-in-110-degree-chocolate/20060818095509990004)

Man Trapped in 110-Degree Chocolate
Firefighters Use Cocoa Butter to Free Worker

(Aug. 19) -- It might sound like a chocoholic's dream, but stepping into a vat of viscous chocolate became a two-hour nightmare for a 21-year-old man Friday morning. Darmin Garcia, an employee of a company that supplies chocolate ingredients, said he was pushing the chocolate down into the vat at Debelis Corp. because it was stuck. But it became loose and he slid into the hopper....

My question to NS General:

Is this man Lunatic Goofballs?

I strongly suspect that it is.

I will pay $100 per pound of chocolate graced by LG's sweaty bod!

Is this man Lunatic Goofballs?

I strongly suspect that it is.

... but stepping into a vat of viscous chocolate became a two-hour nightmare for a 21-year-old man Friday morning.Were it so, I'm sure it would had been phrased differently.

No.

If it were, it wouldnt be chocolate.

It would be:

a. Mud
b. Poo.
c The blood of the innocent.

But chocolate?
Too normal.

I reckon warm chocolate would have a very similar consistancy to mud.

I reckon warm chocolate would have a very similar consistancy to mud.


I contest, sir, that you have not studied the mind of a clown.

Chocolate, while sweet and tasty, is far too mundane to attract a clown.
The Clown is attracted to the comical, and the surreal.

For example:

If you were trying to bait a Clown-Trap (Patent Pending) with say, a peanut-butter sandwich...no clown will bite.

However, if you use a peanut-butter sandwich with marshmallow fluff, confetti, two squirrels, and an albino cave moose holding a seltzer bottle..... thats a clown bait-pile!

You must be ready when they come for us!

I'm sure it was a terrible experience but a yummy one nonetheless! (rubs tummy to calm chocolate inspired growls)

Let me guess: he yelled "Fire!" to attract attention so someone would help him because he wasn't getting anywhere by yelling "Chocolate!"

I contest, sir, that you have not studied the mind of a clown.

Chocolate, while sweet and tasty, is far too mundane to attract a clown.
The Clown is attracted to the comical, and the surreal.

For example:

If you were trying to bait a Clown-Trap (Patent Pending) with say, a peanut-butter sandwich...no clown will bite.

However, if you use a peanut-butter sandwich with marshmallow fluff, confetti, two squirrels, and an albino cave moose holding a seltzer bottle..... thats a clown bait-pile!

You must be ready when they come for us!

Ahh, but you miss one important detail:

It wasn't just chocolate.

It was a vat of chocolate. nd considering the rarity of having access to large amounts of liquid chocolate. ...Well, need I say more?

However, ther is one thing missing; other people. Remember, that a Goofball's primary interest is in SPREADING chaos, not merely causing it. Before leaping into a vat of chocolate and enduring the above-mentioned rescuing procedure, I would need an audience. Or at the very least, and opportunity to say, "It was pretty fun, actually. I recommend it. But remember to always swim with a buddy." :D

As for the above-mentioned person, there are a few clues that reveal that it is not in fact me(more's the pity).

WHile the person is hispanic(if his name is any indication) as I claim to be, he is 21 and I claim to be 33. I could be lying, of course. But the real clue is the fact that this man fell in by [/i]accident[/i]. That's a dead givaway. I would have jumped in. *nod

this is old news

it happened to this kid before (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augustus_Gloop)

Let me guess: he yelled "Fire!" to attract attention so someone would help him because he wasn't getting anywhere by yelling "Chocolate!"

I would have thought the opposite:

You yell "Fire!", and everyone runs away. You yell, "Chocolate!" and everyone runs toward you. :)

I contest, sir, that you have not studied the mind of a clown.

Chocolate, while sweet and tasty, is far too mundane to attract a clown.
The Clown is attracted to the comical, and the surreal.

For example:

If you were trying to bait a Clown-Trap (Patent Pending) with say, a peanut-butter sandwich...no clown will bite.

However, if you use a peanut-butter sandwich with marshmallow fluff, confetti, two squirrels, and an albino cave moose holding a seltzer bottle..... thats a clown bait-pile!

You must be ready when they come for us!
My sister was bitten by an albino cave moose once . . .

I wonder what they did with the vat of choc afterwards?

I wonder what they did with the vat of choc afterwards?

Well, it was contaminated with sweat and possibly blood. Not to mention that they had to thin it with cocoa butter. You would think they would throw it out.

Then again, human-flavored chocolate is a rare delicacy. *nod*

Well, it was contaminated with sweat and possibly blood. Not to mention that they had to thin it with cocoa butter. You would think they would throw it out.

Then again, human-flavored chocolate is a rare delicacy. *nod*
You forgot urine. The guy was in there for 2 hours and look at the photo: he's got 4 or 5 bottles around him.

Hmmm...urine-sweat flavoured chocolate. I wonder if it'd catch on?

Maybe just give it a French sounding name, like praline or gianduja. Then I bet it'd sell.

Though imagine if it did. They'd have to set up vats and employ people to sit in them all day. How would one go about writing that job vacancy ad up?

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that, contrary to what the poll says, NOT all kittens are fluffy.

To wit:
http://www.holymolycats.com/pics/Kiki/kiki%2011.5%20wks.jpg


OMG! They come from Mars!
http://barecats.netfirms.com/catsonmars.jpg

What a way to go that would have been! :eek: :p

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that, contrary to what the poll says, NOT all kittens are fluffy.

To wit:

*snip photos*

Love that headline! :D

What a way to go that would have been! :eek: :p

Death By Chocolate. :)

I contest, sir, that you have not studied the mind of a clown.

Chocolate, while sweet and tasty, is far too mundane to attract a clown.
The Clown is attracted to the comical, and the surreal.

For example:

If you were trying to bait a Clown-Trap (Patent Pending) with say, a peanut-butter sandwich...no clown will bite.

However, if you use a peanut-butter sandwich with marshmallow fluff, confetti, two squirrels, and an albino cave moose holding a seltzer bottle..... thats a clown bait-pile!

You must be ready when they come for us!

clowns are scary...

Linky (http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/man-trapped-in-110-degree-chocolate/20060818095509990004)



My question to NS General:

Is this man Lunatic Goofballs?

I strongly suspect that it is.
It hurts to laugh, it really does.:p

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that, contrary to what the poll says, NOT all kittens are fluffy.

To wit:
http://www.holymolycats.com/pics/Kiki/kiki%2011.5%20wks.jpg


OMG! They come from Mars!
http://barecats.netfirms.com/catsonmars.jpg
We had one of thos Rags in the work smoko room, highly amusing read.

We had one of thos Rags in the work smoko room, highly amusing read.
I'd love to work as a journalist on that paper.
It'd be the only job where you could legitimately claim drugs and alcohol as business expenses.
Let's face it: How else are you going to come up with those headlines?

Ahh, but you miss one important detail:

It wasn't just chocolate.

It was a vat of chocolate. nd considering the rarity of having access to large amounts of liquid chocolate. ...Well, need I say more?

Curses!
I didnt think of that.
Touche' Clown!



However, ther is one thing missing; other people. Remember, that a Goofball's primary interest is in SPREADING chaos, not merely causing it. Before leaping into a vat of chocolate and enduring the above-mentioned rescuing procedure, I would need an audience. Or at the very least, and opportunity to say, "It was pretty fun, actually. I recommend it. But remember to always swim with a buddy." :D

Indeed!
Everyone knows that a clowns kryptonite, is a lack of witnesses.
Well...and a balloon animal ak-47....

Im studying your tricks Harlequinn From Hell!

When the End-Times are upon us, and your Greasepainted Hordes come for us, I will be ready!

I will not rest until I have warned and readied the innocent people of NS!

Viva La Resistance!