NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, it's time to 'nerd it up'. I know someone did something like this a while ago, but I'm going to give it a go!

If there were an RPG where the posters on this forum lived in a world eerily similar to this one, yet they could go on 'adventures', what would your character sheet look like?

(Note: I took Attributes straight out of D+D. That's a score from 3 to 18 for those who aren't familiar, with 18 being on the 'high' end. Ultimately, it's a little tongue-in-cheek so it doesn't really matter.)


Name: Mikesburg
Adventuring Class: Road Pirate

Attributes:

Strength: 15
Dexterity: 12
Constitution: 14
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 9
Charisma: 13

Powers/'Spells':

Mikesburg doesn't possess any special powers or magical abilities.

Skills:

Fleet Management
Relocation Knowledge
Leadership
Bad Jokes

Assets:

Small fleet of trucks which are constantly in need of repair.
Sword of Crackhead slaying +3
Shoes of Pacing

Weaknesses:

Prone to drinking.
Prone to posting on NS when drinking.
Short
Balding

Background: Born in the rugged mining town of Sudbury, Ont, Mikesburg emigrated to the Industrial wasteland of Oshawa, Ont. at the age of 12. His childhood dreams of being a successful fantasy author were dashed during the Great Crack Epidemic of the nineties. In the ensuing rampage of crackheads, Mikesburg took the call to join an adventuring group and fell in with a group of 'movers'. Over the years, he mastered the art of road piracy, and the collection of people's treasured belongings. Although a pirate, he is deadfast against the crackhead menace, and utilizes his resources to fight it. Adventurers bent on discovering his Road Pirate hideout have met with untimely demises, yet the few who dare to team up with him, have come to value his dastardly crew of ne'er-do-wells.

Goals: To live the life of a road-pirate; blockading driveways, taking 'booty', and ruling the highways and byways with an iron fist.

Name: Ravea
Adventuring Class: Minstrel

Attributes:

Strength: 8
Dexterity: 10
Constitution: 16
Intelligence: 14
Wisdom: 17
Charisma: 7

Powers/'Spells':

Using a piano or some type of keboard, Ravea can "Rock Out." This spell can block projectile weapons, hypnotize enemies, shoot magical death rays, and attract pretty women.

Skills:

Musical Knowlage
Pickpocketing
Language Skills
Stealth

Assets:

Keytar of the Gods
Gang of Roadies(+4 attack in battle, +100 in moving things)
Amp of Holy(+7 Sound Amplification)

Weaknesses:

Prone to sleeping
Lazy Bastard
Bad Eyesight
Poor dancing skills

Background: Born in a wealthy neighborhood in Connecticut and raised there for all his life, Ravea showed musical prowess early in his life. After several years, he rose to a respected position among the Minstrel community. After coming back from a late night at the inn, he found his family dead-impaled by ninja shuriken. To honor his family, Ravea swore to become the greatest Minstrel of all time, and slay his family's killers. A friend of birds, lumberjacks, and pirates, he travles the countryside, entertaining any who ask for it and secretly hunting his prey all the while.

Goals: To gain the title of "Legendary Minstrel," and find the Ninjas that killed his family.

Name: Ginnoria

Adventuring Class: Islamic Jihadist

Attributes:
Strength: 12
Dexterity: 16
Constitution: None
Intelligence: The Koran
Wisdom: n/a
Charimsa: 14

Powers/Spells:
If on board an aircraft, Ginnoria can attempt to hijack it using a dexterity check. Also his screaming of 'Allahu Ackbar!' can temporarily stun or frighten nearby enemies. When killed, he may cast the 'Martyr' spell, imbuing his allies with +2 to all attributes.

Skills:
Koran reading
Boxknife concealing
Running with scissors

Assests:
Dynamite (+10 suicide bombing)

Weaknesses:
Publicly visible female skin

Goals: To slay the Western infidels and claim his 72 virgins that await him in paradise.

Name: Andaluciae
Adventuring Class: College Slacker

Attributes:

Strength: 27
Dexterity: -7 (subtract from another member of your party)
Constitution: 14
Intelligence: 9
Wisdom: 9
Charisma: 9

Powers/'Spells':
Can fall asleep during battle, and the enemy will forget about him and move on.

Skills:
Sleeping
Drinking
Eating
Video Games
Mad Skillz with a Handgun

Assets:

A two year old laptop
$1,327 (until the middle of next month, when that rapidly becomes $0)
Two old, worthless textbooks

Weaknesses:
Has the attention span of a guinea pig

Background: From Ohio. Is a university student.

Goals: Become a perpetual student, without any real responsibilities.

Name: Keruvalia
Adventuring Class: Town Drunk

Attributes:
Strength: 14 (18 perceived)
Dexterity: 2 (18 perceived)
Constitution: 18 (1 perceived)
Intelligence: 18 (1 usually shown)
Wisdom: 9 (Tells a great story)
Charisma: 18 (Though most will say 5)

Powers/'Spells':
Can repeat the same sentence 16 times in an hour and not realise it.
Encourages the enemy to 'drink up' and will never pass out first.

Skills:
Drinking

Assets:
A virtually limitless supply of bourbon.
Access to NS General.
A liver made of iron.

Weaknesses:
Don't expect anything from him until around 2pm.

Background:
I forget.

Goals:
Will be the first human in history to live without a liver.

Name: Ike Lombardo Ruffino
Adventuring Class: Mod-wannabe

Attributes:

Strength: 6
Dexterity: 5
Constitution: 4
Intelligence: 3
Wisdom: 2
Charisma: 1

Powers/'Spells':
Can confuse people with spammyness.


Skills:
1337 $|<illz


Assets:
Coffee
Castration tools
Banana peel
Chinese food
Bubble gum
Gravity


Weaknesses:
Sobriety


Background:
Kill kill kill kill kill kill die die die die die die

Goals:
To not die.

Looks like we have quite the adventuring party so far. Who wants to go questing for the Ark of the Covenant?

Looks like we have quite the adventuring party so far. Who wants to go questing for the Ark of the Covenant?
A Road Pirate, a Minstrel, an Islamic Jihadist, a Town Drunk, a College Slacker and a Mod-wannabe. We can take on anything.

Looks like we have quite the adventuring party so far. Who wants to go questing for the Ark of the Covenant?

Ive got that old thing on my back porch. I can hide it again if you want to look for it though.

Name: Rubiconic Crossings aka vonners
Adventuring Class: Conquerer/Ferryman

Attributes:

Strength: Strong
Dexterity: Five Toes
Constitution: For the People, of the People
Intelligence: Classified
Wisdom: Never piss in the wind
Charisma: Friends, Romans, Countrymen...lend me your ears!

Powers/'Spells':

Rowing, Conquerer...quite good at self propaganda (see Conquest of Gaul)

Skills:

Conquering
Crossing rivers and the Channel
Politiking
Triumphs

Assets:

The Roman Treasury

Weaknesses:

Fits
Big Nose
Makes bad choices when it comes to friends

Background: Born to rule.

Goals: Rule the known world!

Huzzah!

Neat! Haven't played DnD in a while.


Name: Kamsaki
Adventuring Class: Druid.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral.

Attributes:

Strength: 7
Dexterity: 15
Constitution: 8
Intelligence: 14 -2 (Borderline Insanity modifier)
Wisdom: 18 +2 (Borderline Insanity modifier)
Charisma: 11

Powers/'Spells':

Kamsaki doesn't cast spells in the normal way. Rather than evocation or conjouring, the effects of his magic are found simply by demonstrating a different way of looking at reality, which promptly comes to be the way in which reality works.
As a result, all spells cast (including those on party members) add Confusion.

Skills:

- 4 in Tracking. Tendency to ramble in circles.
+7 Innuendo.
+9 Bluff.
+9 Knowledge: Knowledge.
+8 Knowledge: Arcane Devices
+8 Rage Damage bonus: Arcane Devices
Weapon proficiency - Darts, throwing knives
Shapeshift - Invisible Pink Unicorn

Assets:

Playing cards. Used for wagers and fortune telling (Bluff/divination check depending on purpose) and act as a D4 Dart-type weapon. Receives a +1 to the attack roll for each eye your opponent has.
Red Squirrel mob. (Increases reach; used in some spells)
1/5 of whatever else his party owns.

Weaknesses:

Susceptible to Pizza Lure.
-5 on all attacks on Trolls.

Goal: Kamsaki was driven to the point of madness during his quest to discover nature's lore. As a result, he thinks finding more of it seems like a good idea. He is on a quest to find truth and attain true insanity, just to show it can be done.

Name: Vacuumhead the anti-fluffler
Adventuring Class: Drunken master
Attributes:
Strength: 13
Dexterity: 16
Constitution: 18
Intelligence: 12
Wisdom: 3
Charisma: 14
Powers/'Spells':
Magical green goo :gundge:
Skills:
Set trap
4 ranks in craft cooking
Assets:
Slippers of sneaking
Hedge-trimmers of castration +2
Weaknesses:
Fluffle spam
Hasselhoff pictures
Background:
I'm just a scummy council estate kid :(
Goals:
To join an adventuring party and become the chef. Mmm...ghoul burgers.

A Road Pirate, a Minstrel, an Islamic Jihadist, a Town Drunk, a College Slacker and a Mod-wannabe. We can take on anything.

Dungeon Master: "So, after much wanton slaughter and several bottles of bourbon, you have managed to enter the lair of the crackhead-ninja-college professors. The Ark of the Covenant lay before you. The room is littered with crackpipes, and the now familiar sound of ninja-blades whisking through the air. Roll for initiative! Mikesburg, subtract seven from your roll due to being the closest to Andaluciae.

Mikesburg: "Gah! With my -5 modifer for trying to outdrink Keruvalia, that gives me a total of -3!"

DM: "You'll be going last."

Ginnoria: "17! I scream 'Allahu Ackbar' at the top of my lungs and run at the crackhead-ninjas with scissors!"

DM: "Okay, that gives the rest of you a boost on your initiative. Mikesburg, you're still last!"

Mikesburg: "Yar..."

(Ginnoria rolls to hit, and succeeds in stabbing one of the crackhead ninja's with his scissors.)

Andaluciae: "I rolled a 15!"

Mikesburg: "Wait a minute...!? Why doesn't he have a penalty, he's the one with negative initiative?"

DM: "I've had enough out of you Mikesburg, you get a 10% xp penalty!"

Mikesburg: "Gar...."

Adaluciae: "I fall asleep during battle."

DM: "Okay, the crackhead-ninjas ignore you. Your negative dexterity no longer affects Mikesburg, but he still goes last."

Mikesburg: "....."

DM: "Ruffino, what was your roll?"

Il Ruffino: "Fresh and Doughy. Just came out of the oven."

DM: "???... All right, you miss your turn. The ninjas go. The following people are hit with lethal ninja blows; Mikesburg.... sorry, today's not your lucky day. You die almost instantaneously."

Mikesburg: "...."

Ravea: "With my roll of 12, I pull out the Keytar of the gods and 'Rock Out!' (blast them with death rays!)"

DM: "Okay, all of the ninjas are dead."

Keruvalia: "I attempt to revive Mikesburg with my Bourbon of Ressurection."

DM: "Okay Mikesburg, roll a Bourbon Resssurection Survival Check."

Mikesburg: "Ten. Is that good?"

DM: "Sure. But you are comatose, and get dragged away by your pirate crew. The Ark of the covenant waits before you. What do you do?"

Ginnoria: "I activate my dynamite to keep anyone else from posessing it."

DM: "Okay, with your roll of 17 with your plus 10 modifier, you blow yourself up along with everyone else in the room. Keruvalia's liver survives."

Mikesburg: "So I made it out okay?"

DM: "No. Your pirate crew drags you out behind a roving tractor trailer and you die a hideous death."

Mikesburg: "This sucks."

DM: "Hell, you invented the damn game!"

Mikesburg: "Yeah, I'm going back to the My Little Pony RPG. Less self-destruction."

Name: Potarius
Adventuring Class: Insane Undersea Captain

Attributes:

Strength: 2
Dexterity: 5
Constitution: 7
Intelligence: 18
Wisdom: 1
Charisma: 3

Powers/'Spells':

The ability to declare Martian Law, as well as the ability to control the will of sentient white blobs.

Skills:

Inane Rambling
Nonsensical Questioning
Doppleganger Detection
Immunity to Poison

Assets:

A large research center under the ocean
Blue Jumpsuit of Ineptitude
White Shoes of Paranoia
Doppleganger's Bane (Bat that adds +8 attack power against Dopplegangers)

Weaknesses:

Prone to giving peanuts to people who are allergic to them.
Prone to asking questions that make no sense whatsoever.
Hates the Bizzaros.

Background: N/A

Goals: To live a life full of undersea adventure, and... Undersea adventure. And to acquire the legendary Mingus Dew.