NationStates Jolt Archive

For thos of you who aren't aware (Should be all of you) I have recently been diagnosed with Narccicistic Personality Disorder and Histrionic personality disorder (Henceforth NPD/HPD). If you don't know what it is, and care, just wiki it. Otherwise, all you need to know is the common terminology to understand the illness well enough; "Arrogant attention-whore".

It seems my assesment of my NPD has taken a turn for the worse. What seemed to be a complete non-problem for me has now revealed itself to ne something quite worrying.Allow me to recount the incident which is causing me concern.

I was at KFC tonight, with my student-psychologist friend Paddy and he was eating away (I had already eaten, and so I was babbling away like I often do). Anyway, Paddy wasn't paying much attention, as he was engrossed in the oily goodnes of 11herbs+spices-enriched chickenskin.

After a little while of mindless babble I notice a weird guy through the glass doors of the main entrance to KFC, just for a second. It is a guy with a shaved head and face in biblical-esque white robes (Kinda like what the muslims in the middle east wear). He was pacing past the door and looking straight at me for the half a second he was in view. I was like "Weird, guy in white robes glaring at me while walking past KFC...". Then I moved on.

About 1 or 2 minutes later I see him again, walking the same way, past the same door, giving me the same look, right into my eyes. This time I was a little freaked out, because I didn't see him go back past the glass door (Which I was facing) to pass from the same side. Further more, the KFC was on a large city block with no alleyways, so walking around the block to pass the door from the same direction would have taken at least five minutes. On top of that I was just creeped out that a shaved man in white robes was 'sussing me out'. Who was this guy? Why was he looking at me? What does he want?

Finally, about 2 minutes later I am still amusing myself in my random musings while Paddy ate his chicken. Then I see him doing the same thing, glaring at me whilst pacing past the door, again. I stopped what I was saying mid-sentence, jumped up (Knocking my chair to the floor) and dashed through the automatic glass doors. At his pace I should have been 5 or 10 metres behind him maximum. However, when I burst through the doors to face the mystery man, I was confronted with 50 metres of empty pavement, with no doors, turn offs, alley ways or other escapes (There was a construction site adjacent to KFC, so it's artificial walls extended for 50 meters before the next exit from the pavement). I was shocked, to say the least. I looked all around me, acroos the road, behind (In the wrong direction), in the construction site. Also, it was late, so it wasn't like there was a sea of people in which to disappear from. Furthermore, the guy is pretty hard to miss in the city. Flowing white robes, hairless, not asian (:P).

I was shellshocked. Eventually I stumbled back into KFC and Paddy grunted in curiosity at where I'd been. I explained the situation to him. Paddy didn't really react, so I began specualting. Maybe he worked in the construction site. Maybe he was using a car. Maybe he was a religious nut I'd pissed off at some point in the past. There just was no plausible reason a shaved robed man would be stalking me.

Eventually Paddy interjected and informed me that I was 'rationalising my haluccination'. I questioned him on it, and he seemed to think that I had hallucinated the guy because he was not providing me with attention. He was, after all, focussed very intensely on me. I didn't like Paddy's idea, but I had no better solutions. So I spent the next half-hour in denial. The more I spoke, the more apparent it became that the guy was indeed an halluccination. However, my main arguement was that it had never happened before, to this Paddy simply replied "How do you know?".

Suddenly I was faced with the possibility that every random chick that I'd seen checking me out was an halluccination. I wouldn't know any better. I swear I saw the guy. I saw him. With my eyes. I can describe the quality of his shave (Not great). Also, more holes began to appear. The guy did appear striding past the doorway, but I don't remember then seeing him in the window a few metres past the door. Also, the guy was doing the exact same thing each time, no variation whatsoever. Paddy also noted my immediate description of this guy as 'Moses' (Exact words "Holy crap, Paddy, I think Moses is stalking me...maybe even Jesus. I think I have really pissed them off this time"), whilst I was sort of joking, the point is that i identified these guys as the two closest men to god (Which I don't believe in, by the way). Perhaps that is related to my NPD in that God's right-hand man was staring at me intently.

So here I am now, thinking the worst. I don't remember anything about halluccinations in the online description of NPD (or HPD). Does this move me to entire new category of 'real' mental illness? Does anybody know of this thing happening to NPD's? Is there anything I can do? How do I know if I can trust my senses? Can I touch an halluccination? Maybe I am crazy... :headbang:

Only one solution:

MORE BEER!!!!!!!!!

See a psychiatrist...

Sometimes when you are under shit loads of stress things like that can happen. Or if you are anxious or depressed about something.

That was me, dude.

It might be a psychotic episode; maybe you're prone to schizophrenia spectrum disorders, but aren't at all clinically ill.

It's not worth worrying about - as many as 10% of the population have the odd psychotic episode every now and again. It's likely nothing to do with your other conditions, just a thing you're occasionly prone to. Don't obsess about it, you're not at all likely to have hallucinated very often before!

Look into any medication/booze/drugs you take, and so on, though :)

Yeah, I think I'd better... As you can see from my poll votes, your guess is as good as mine.

Maybe you were suffering from some sort of sugar induced insanity (don't laugh, it let one guy get away with murder) from the KFC food.

That was me, dude. Jesus? Does that mean I am...

The fact that you can joke about the idea of it bein Jesus and not take it seriously etc.. already means your not crazy.

Now you know what some of the secret herbs and spices are...

Jesus? Does that mean I am...

Yeah, but you're not the Chosen One. I just had a bet with the Archangel Michael.

Jesus? Does that mean I am...
Starscream? Yes.. yes you are..

The fact that you can joke about the idea of it bein Jesus and not take it seriously etc.. already means your not crazy.
No, that means I'm not delusional. I might still be crazy. But I sincerely hope I'm not. Crazy people are funny to visit, not to be. Who said I'm not taking it seriously :P Seriously, I saw this guy, he was intense! I *saw* him, like he was there. Wouldn't it be ironic (Probably not, but who remembers the definition these days anyway), if the messiah was an atheist. :D That or fitting that the anti-christ is.

I you're the chosen one then I must be....Duffman!!! But anyway check any medication you're taking ( if any) to see if hallucinations could be a side affect. Or you could have just had a dodgy chicken leg:)

Don't prophets and such traditionally tell you important things like how do live a good life? They don't usually arrive and then just disapear.

No, that means I'm not delusional. I might still be crazy. But I sincerely hope I'm not. Crazy people are funny to visit, not to be. Who said I'm not taking it seriously :P Seriously, I saw this guy, he was intense! I *saw* him, like he was there. Wouldn't it be ironic (Probably not, but who remembers the definition these days anyway), if the messiah was an atheist. :D That or fitting that the anti-christ is.
Hey, I doubt you could do a worse job of it than the rest of them.;)

yeah, people are always putting drugs in the salt shakers and other often-used things in resturants around here.

Don't prophets and such traditionally tell you important things like how do live a good life? They don't usually arrive and then just disapear.
You had to see this guy's eyes. They were intense! Not angry, maybe a little judgemental. More than anything, it was focussed. This is why I suspect that I may actually be the anti-christ. I could easily fix a "You're going down" caption to that scene. Do you think I could take Jesus? I mean, the Jews did, and they're usually not too physical. Though they did have an angry mob. Maybe that is JC's weakness...

You fuckin' saw Rasputin.
http://www.danheller.com/Movies/Hellboy/rasputin-big.jpg

You fuckin' saw Rasputin.
http://www.danheller.com/Movies/Hellboy/rasputin-big.jpg
Yep, that was pretty much him, minus the beard with some white robes. Now that you mention it, he did have a look in his eyes that pehaps only a man who had been poisoned, beaten with an axe, shot and drowned could possibly possess. Maybe "Man, I am pissed" would do better as a caption.

This is exactly why we need concealed-carry laws.

No need to humiliate yourself by running out into the empty street and hunting around like a dog after the scent. No need to explain yourself to your blase chicken-scoffing friend.
Just whip out your automatic pistol and blow seven colours of shit out of that creepy sensai dude. So everyone will know you're crazy ... but at least they won't patronize you!

I saw three men very similar yesterday afternoon, but I didn't think any more of it. They were wearing grey cloaks rather than white though, and two of them had backpacks. They were simply chatting to each other. I shared a brief smile with them and walked on. No big deal; they're presumably just on a journey of self-discovery.

Either there's some sort of pilgrimage on for some sort of spiritual group or you're hallucinating. Mind you, I could be hallucinating too. It would make more sense for me to envisage grey robes than white, and more sense for my monk overseers to travel in groups than individually.

This is exactly why we need concealed-carry laws.

No need to humiliate yourself by running out into the empty street and hunting around like a dog after the scent. No need to explain yourself to your blase chicken-scoffing friend.
Just whip out your automatic pistol and blow seven colours of shit out of that creepy sensai dude. So everyone will know you're crazy ... but at least they won't patronize you!
Haha, god, tht was great. Also note that if indeed it was the second coming looking for a fight, I may have had just averted the rapture in that act. If not, I can still stick to the same stroy for a pretty sound insanity plea.

This is exactly why we need concealed-carry laws.

No need to humiliate yourself by running out into the empty street and hunting around like a dog after the scent. No need to explain yourself to your blase chicken-scoffing friend.
Just whip out your automatic pistol and blow seven colours of shit out of that creepy sensai dude. So everyone will know you're crazy ... but at least they won't patronize you!
I guess that could work...but if you suddenly jump up and run out of KFC to fire at thin air, I think people will know you're crazy and patronise you.

I saw three men very similar yesterday afternoon, but I didn't think any more of it. They were wearing grey cloaks rather than white though, and two of them had backpacks. They were simply chatting to each other. I shared a brief smile with them and walked on. No big deal; they're presumably just on a journey of self-discovery.

Either there's some sort of pilgrimage on for some sort of spiritual group or you're hallucinating. Mind you, I could be hallucinating too. It would make more sense for me to envisage grey robes than white, and more sense for my monk overseers to travel in groups than individually.
But why did they all want to look intensely at me. How did they know I was in KFC? What kind of a pilgrimage is based upon gazing with reverberating force upon me? ALso, shouldn't monks wear saffron robes, not white? That would have explained everyhting. I could have blamed the Hare Krishnas for the guy himself, then blamed thier secret magic for his subsequent disappearance.

I see three possibilities, listed in decending likelihood:

1. As you stated before the story, you are an indeed an "attention whore" and you are lying about this to get attention.

2. You are hallucinating. Call a doctor if you see him again.

3. You are being stalked. Call the police if you seem him again.

I guess that could work...but if you suddenly jump up and run out of KFC to fire at thin air, I think people will know you're crazy and patronise you.
Thats why i need to constantly keep one hand under my jacket, sitting on a trigger. That or hire clint eastwood to follow me and do it for me.

You had to see this guy's eyes. They were intense! Not angry, maybe a little judgemental. More than anything, it was focussed. This is why I suspect that I may actually be the anti-christ. I could easily fix a "You're going down" caption to that scene. Do you think I could take Jesus? I mean, the Jews did, and they're usually not too physical. Though they did have an angry mob. Maybe that is JC's weakness...

Fortunately, you were in KFC or things could have turned ugly. Jesus can't enter KFCs. I'm not entirely sure why. He loves Burger King though. *nod*

The important thing about being crazy and living with it is being dangerous.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being insane in and of itself. However, if your insanity represents a credible danger to yourself or others, then that's a problem. I think the questons you have to ask yourself are; Are you dangerous? Are you in danger? If the answer to both questions is 'no', enjoy the ride. Invite friends. :)

However, if you suspect that you might be dangerous, or dangerous to yourself, then you should seek out professional help. A good psychiatrist can help you carefully ration out the crazy. It's important to know your limits. *nod*

Oh, and if it turns out that you are the anti-christ, eat at KFC a lot. :)

But why did they all want to look intensely at me. How did they know I was in KFC? What kind of a pilgrimage is based upon gazing with reverberating force upon me? ALso, shouldn't monks wear saffron robes, not white? That would have explained everyhting. I could have blamed the Hare Krishnas for the guy himself, then blamed thier secret magic for his subsequent disappearance.
They might just all have been conveniently walking by the restaurant on their way to wherever they were going and felt like looking in with scorn on the fast food industry on their way past. Even if indeed they were there, that doesn't necessarily mean they were there because you were. It could have been pure coincidence.

I see three possibilities, listed in decending likelihood:

1. As you stated before the story, you are an indeed an "attention whore" and you are lying about this to get attention.



Oh shit, I forgot about that.

I see three possibilities, listed in decending likelihood:

1. As you stated before the story, you are an indeed an "attention whore" and you are lying about this to get attention.

2. You are hallucinating. Call a doctor if you see him again.

3. You are being stalked. Call the police if you seem him again.
Exactly. Thats was my first thought too. Am I making this up? Obviously I dismissed it, seeing as I just saw him. But as time goes on, I become less and less sure of myself. Though this has more to do with my declining faith in my senses. I feel on guard with everything before I react now. This could have been going on for years. Maybe all of my previous hallucinations didn't contradict their physical limitations. Because there is no way of telling a halluccination apart from a real person if this guy was one of them.

But anyway. I don't really post for attention, because post-attention is lame. it is like the free chinese restaraunt tea if attention was tea. Even lies are crap. I prefer admiration, envy, outrage and/or shock at my actions. That is why my attention gethering manuvuers tend to be in achievement form. Sometimes good, like walking away from highscholl with a total grade of 95%, or sometimes bad, like destroying some poor saps world because he insulted my pride. So yeah, were this a lie, I would have been lying aboout seeing the guy at KFC when I caused a scene (only a minor one) by bolting out of the restaurant. Retelling the story is of little value beyond in lie form. Instead telling the truth about lying and exaggerrating the extent of a scene I'd created would be the best way to maximise the attention. This is merely sharing a truly bizarre (and somewhat disconcerting) day I am having.

Alternatively that whole paragraph could be BS. I see your point. All I can say is that I am not the lying-type of attention-whore. I am the doing type.

Exactly. Thats was my first thought too. Am I making this up? Obviously I dismissed it, seeing as I just saw him. But as time goes on, I become less and less sure of myself. Though this has more to do with my declining faith in my senses. I feel on guard with everything before I react now. This could have been going on for years. Maybe all of my previous hallucinations didn't contradict their physical limitations. Because there is no way of telling a halluccination apart from a real person if this guy was one of them.

But anyway. I don't really post for attention, because post-attention is lame. it is like the free chinese restaraunt tea if attention was tea. Even lies are crap. I prefer admiration, envy, outrage and/or shock at my actions. That is why my attention gethering manuvuers tend to be in achievement form. Sometimes good, like walking away from highscholl with a total grade of 95%, or sometimes bad, like destroying some poor saps world because he insulted my pride. So yeah, were this a lie, I would have been lying aboout seeing the guy at KFC when I caused a scene (only a minor one) by bolting out of the restaurant. Retelling the story is of little value beyond in lie form. Instead telling the truth about lying and exaggerrating the extent of a scene I'd created would be the best way to maximise the attention. This is merely sharing a truly bizarre (and somewhat disconcerting) day I am having.

Alternatively that whole paragraph could be BS. I see your point. All I can say is that I am not the lying-type of attention-whore. I am the doing type.

I'm the 'frolic naked in the dandelion patch' kind of attention whore. :)

Assume for a moment that are insane, that you can no longer trust your senses and that a cure is unlikely.

What will you do then ? As you already hinted at, you could become a religious figurehead and have a pretty decent life. Not that I suggest doing that, but it might be wise to consider ways to live with it.

could you be crazy? sure

could you have made it up? sure

could you be perfectly sane and seen something? sure

two of these are more likely than the other.

Go to your doctor.

could you be crazy? sure

could you have made it up? sure

could you be perfectly sane and seen something? sure

two of these are more likely than the other.

Go to your doctor.
I still think he probably twisted what was an entirely regular and feasible occurrance (someone walking past KFC) into something highly overplayed rather than just making it up. I mean, the chances of someone in white clothes walking past KFC and looking in the window must be pretty high; even three people doing the same within a reasonable period of time is pretty likely.

I'm the 'frolic naked in the dandelion patch' kind of attention whore. :)
I took you more for the 'frolic naked in the mud' kind of attention whore.

I took you more for the 'frolic naked in the mud' kind of attention whore.

Surprisingly, I rarely play in mud naked. Oh, I've done it. But I'd say that's the exception, not the rule. I usually wear at least minimal attire. This is for two reasons: 1) Mud gets in the darndest places and 2) twigs, rocks and other miscellaneous debris can really sting.

:)

I took you more for the 'frolic naked in the mud' kind of attention whore.
He's insane, not unhygenic.

Besides, people pay more attention to you if you run through the town covered in dandelions than they do if you run through the town covered in mud. It's slightly more unusual.

He's insane, not unhygenic.

Besides, people pay more attention to you if you run through the town covered in dandelions than they do if you run through the town covered in mud. It's slightly more unusual.

The mud tends to conceal rather than enhance. :)

edit: Oh, and I'm also unhygenic. :)

The mud tends to conceal rather than enhance. :)

edit: Oh, and I'm also unhygenic. :)
And dandelions enhance? *takes notes*

He's insane, not unhygenic.

Besides, people pay more attention to you if you run through the town covered in dandelions than they do if you run through the town covered in mud. It's slightly more unusual.
If you cover yourself in mud first, then the dandelions stick better. *nods*

Why should the two be mutually exclusive?

If you cover yourself in mud first, then the dandelions stick better. *nods*

It's true. :)

And dandelions enhance? *takes notes*

The yellow distracts the eyes from physical flaws. *nod*

I've had worse. I've hallucinated that I was being crushed, falling, spinning, and flying, not to mention I hear strange noises. I'm pretty sure I'm schizophrenic.

I've had worse. I've hallucinated that I was being crushed, falling, spinning, and flying, not to mention I hear strange noises. I'm pretty sure I'm schizophrenic.

No he's not.

Fixed. :)

I'm no psychology scholar, but it sounds like you might be just taking this diagnosis to seriously. Alot of times, when people have been diagnosed or fear that they will be diagnosed, ever little thing seems to point to the worst happening. In your case you're afraid that you're losing your grip on reality. Also, You described that your hallucination was a middle eastern looking man. Are you afraid of terrorism? If not you're not outwardly scared of terrorists then maybe its a dorment fear inside of you. You're probably not crazy, just have an overactive imagination, coupled with some insecurites from your diagnosis.

Maybe you're that crazy-choosen one, as in the messiah for the skitzophrenics. Lead your people across the red-herring sea!

I still think he probably twisted what was an entirely regular and feasible occurrance (someone walking past KFC) into something highly overplayed rather than just making it up. I mean, the chances of someone in white clothes walking past KFC and looking in the window must be pretty high; even three people doing the same within a reasonable period of time is pretty likely.
in that case he should still see his doctor, anxiety and paranoia that are coupled with "everyday events" are still things that you can and should be treated for.

I still think he probably twisted what was an entirely regular and feasible occurrance (someone walking past KFC) into something highly overplayed rather than just making it up. I mean, the chances of someone in white clothes walking past KFC and looking in the window must be pretty high; even three people doing the same within a reasonable period of time is pretty likely.
It was the same shaven guy, giving me the same freaky look, wearing the same flowing white robes. Flowing white robes! Not people in white, An oddly intense man staring me in the eyes. It was most disconcerting. I was in the damn corner. *cries*

It was the same shaven guy, giving me the same freaky look, wearing the same flowing white robes. Flowing white robes! Not people in white, An oddly intense man staring me in the eyes. It was most disconcerting. I was in the damn corner. *cries*

Well, if it wasn't to freaky, it'd be the funniest story I've ever heared :D

Maybe it was Muhammed who's touring America!

It was the same shaven guy, giving me the same freaky look, wearing the same flowing white robes. Flowing white robes! Not people in white, An oddly intense man staring me in the eyes. It was most disconcerting. I was in the damn corner. *cries*
the doctor can give you meds to make that go away. ;) It's not that you are defective, but that your brain may not be working like it should, kinda like if you popped your hip out of joint, it's still a good leg, but without some help, it just won't do what it's supposed to.

I'm no psychology scholar, but it sounds like you might be just taking this diagnosis to seriously. Alot of times, when people have been diagnosed or fear that they will be diagnosed, ever little thing seems to point to the worst happening. In your case you're afraid that you're losing your grip on reality. Also, You described that your hallucination was a middle eastern looking man. Are you afraid of terrorism? If not you're not outwardly scared of terrorists then maybe its a dorment fear inside of you. You're probably not crazy, just have an overactive imagination, coupled with some insecurites from your diagnosis.
No, the guy wasn't middle eastern, those his clothes sort of looked a bit that way. He didn't scare me, so much as he irritated me. I certainly am afraid of losing my grip on reality, though. I mean HPD/NPD are just personality disorders, not real mental illnesses. Halluccinations? WTF? Who does that? The fact that I am having difficulty with is that I saw something which wasn't there. But I bloody well saw it.

Well, if it wasn't to freaky, it'd be the funniest story I've ever heared :D

Maybe it was Muhammed who's touring America! But he was shaved! And hatless! And in Australia!

I once hallucinated an entire room, of course this was at night, and as soon as I moved the hallucination dissolved. The freeky thing was my hand was outstretched toward the sky. I've wondered whether I was hurredly beamed down by panicking aliens before.

the doctor can give you meds to make that go away. ;) It's not that you are defective, but that your brain may not be working like it should, kinda like if you popped your hip out of joint, it's still a good leg, but without some help, it just won't do what it's supposed to.
I definitely will pop in and see the uni pysch ward, or counsellor (Whatever they call it these days). You aren't supposed to see things which aren't there. I am not a stress-head either. Nor am I anxious (Well now I am, but not before). That makes me more worried, because there go my two bestyt excuses. Without them, it looks like schizophrenia :(

I once hallucinated an entire room, of course this was at night, and as soon as I moved the hallucination dissolved. The freeky thing was my hand was outstretched toward the sky. I've wondered whether I was hurredly beamed down by panicking aliens before. No do you feel like every other room you have ever been in might have been an halluccination?

No do you feel like every other room you have ever been in might have been an halluccination?
No. The hallucination melted away once I tried to move. that gives me confidance that since I can move it's not a halluicination.

I definitely will pop in and see the uni pysch ward, or counsellor (Whatever they call it these days). You aren't supposed to see things which aren't there. I am not a stress-head either. Nor am I anxious (Well now I am, but not before). That makes me more worried, because there go my two bestyt excuses. Without them, it looks like schizophrenia :(

It's not such a big deal - I do think you should go see your uni student services guys, but:

You don't even know it _was_ an hallucination.

Even if it was, that doesn't mean you're at all ill. 8-14% of people in the general population test out as having schizotypal symptoms without needing any clinical care, or even noticing, before the test, the symptoms at all.

Even if it was an actual hallucination, people in that 8-14% have similar psychotic episodes - just a break from reality, a waking daydream, a hallucination, whatever - a few times in their lifes. No evidence of continuous symptoms for the majority of them, or any need for treatment in most cases.

See your folk to set your mind at ease and get information, but the chances are it was nothing, and that you're not ill. It's always worth investigating stuff like this, but don't worry yourself about it either!

Yours hopefully,

The Chancellor of Maurisia, of the British Psychological Society :)

Well, since it was Rasputin, you are the chosen one - the chosen one to bring about the Apocalypse through the release of the Ogdru Jahad.

No. The hallucination melted away once I tried to move. that gives me confidance that since I can move it's not a halluicination.
Maybe that was your sole glimpse of reality? And trying to move in the way that your hallucination was expecting returned you to your dream world?

Maybe that was your sole glimpse of reality? And trying to move in the way that your hallucination was expecting returned you to your dream world?

The Matrix has you! :eek:

Maybe that was your sole glimpse of reality? And trying to move in the way that your hallucination was expecting returned you to your dream world?
My sole glimpse of reality was me playing video games with a vaugly sinister presence?:confused:

The Matrix has you! :eek:
And it's as well it does! The second people start breaking free is the second we get a crazy Wachowski Brother plotline epidemic.

"No, everybody has those kind of halluccinations. *Strokes unicorn foal in lap*"

I really hope that by "stroking the unicorn foal in my lap" you mean the fabulous creature. :eek:

Wait... that still doesn't sound right :(:p:D

I definitely will pop in and see the uni pysch ward, or counsellor (Whatever they call it these days). You aren't supposed to see things which aren't there. I am not a stress-head either. Nor am I anxious (Well now I am, but not before). That makes me more worried, because there go my two bestyt excuses. Without them, it looks like schizophrenia :(Do so. The most important thing I see is that the experience bothers you. Since there's meds that'll make that stuff stop, and the occasional piece of wackiness bothers you so much...no need to put up with it. Just make sure to get the newer ones (that insurance companies probably hate to pay for) instead of the cheaper obsolete, side-effect ridden ones. From what I've read, the new stuff is a lot better.

As for it being schizophrenia, I would doubt it. There's a whole range of "schizotypal personality disorders" of lesser magnitude, along with other conditions which may include hallucinations. Not everything that's hallucinatory is full-on schizophrenia. The doctor should look for other things besides whether you see imaginary things. Like, how are your speech patterns, how's your short-term memory, how you've been able to do certain regular life activities, how you're dressed, your ability to fulfill your responsibilities, etc. All that and more go into a proper diagnosis, and a determination of whether to do anything about it or whether it was likely a rare fluke.

Personally I doubt that you're actually hallucinating "all the time," since your imagination was so unable to make the vision fit in with normality. It's like your subconscious wanted to make *sure* you actively noticed that vision, rather than letting it blend in as a regular person's inflated interest. It is possible (in my non-professional opinion) that with your narcissism, your subconscious was "hoping" you'd construct an ego-inflating story around it, and basically trolling you.

A deeply-held strong desire of any type can manifest itself as a hallucination. As a teen, I once saw, plain as anything, an arcade-sized Galaga (a game which I was obsessed with the idea of owning at that time) in my front room! I immediately ass-u-med it was a gift to me, and real. Unfortunately, it didn't disappear until I bounced off the wall (which was what was *really* in that spot) after running over to play it. Needless to say, I had no doubts THAT wasn't real after I got that result!

As for trusting your senses, yeah that uncertainty is jarring. But I know now that there are reality-checks you can do to foil false visions. If you do a double or a triple-take and it disappears, chances are high that it wasn't real. I speculate that it's something to do with the brain re-processing a scene when you look away and then look back again (sometimes you have to do it 2 or 3 times to clear your "mental browser cache"). If something can't survive that test, it's almost certainly fake (a few things, like fast jet planes, may actually move out of your field of vision during the look-away). I suppose if you were way gone that test may fail, but the very fact that you're able to realize that you hallucinated something seems to indicate that you've got a good amount of sanity when it comes to real vs. unreal. (Consistantly staring at a vision won't work. Your mental cache will usually just keep it there.)

One other thing that can change the likelihood of seeing/hearing things by a huge amount, is lack of sleep. The brain gets more prone to inventing visions the less sleep you have. I've learned that if I'm very tired, that a certain type of weirdness is going to happen. So if I see anything way off-base then, I just ignore it, assume it's imaginary, and try to get to bed ASAP. I don't necessarily *feel* totally exhausted, but I know that if I stay up for 20-22 hours, things start to get wonky. Getting only short sleeps, say 4 hours, for several days in a row produces about the same effect.

Fergi America']...

One other thing that can change the likelihood of seeing/hearing things by a huge amount, is lack of sleep. The brain gets more prone to inventing visions the less sleep you have. I've learned that if I'm very tired, that a certain type of weirdness is going to happen. So if I see anything way off-base then, I just ignore it, assume it's imaginary, and try to get to bed ASAP. I don't necessarily *feel* totally exhausted, but I know that if I stay up for 20-22 hours, things start to get wonky. Getting only short sleeps, say 4 hours, for several days in a row produces about the same effect.

Excellent post, not much left to say.

I'll just mention reflections in the glass door, and drugs.
Someone walking around inside the KFC, possibly a bit paranoid themselves, who thought after the first glance you exchanged that you were watching him. There'd still be a degree of hallucination to mistake a reflection for a direct-light image, but it would give a head-start, and explain why there was no-one outside. Poor freak bolted for the bogs when he saw you leap up.
And drugs. I don't expect anyone to incrimidate themselves here, but sometimes when the drugs seem to have worn off, you can still be quite bent. You feel straight only by contrast to earlier when the effect was unmistakeable, and you're not on your guard for strange affects.

And lack of sleep. 10/10 for that.