NationStates Jolt Archive


Americans are just too busy nowadays.

Drunk commies deleted
17-08-2006, 15:54
We've got so much going on that people are forced to multitask constantly. For example a couple recently robbed a store at gunpoint while engaged in an undisclosed sex act. Clearly the American people are just too damn busy.

http://www.livingstondaily.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060811/NEWS01/608110313/1002
Keruvalia
17-08-2006, 15:58
Finally! Some criminals I can respect. 34 year old man gettin' his jollies with a 17 year old while robbing a store.

I say, "Thumbs up, dude. Thumbs way fuckin' up!"
Lunatic Goofballs
17-08-2006, 16:00
I'm with Keruvalia on this one.

No jury in the world would convict him. :)
The South Islands
17-08-2006, 16:16
That takes some mad skills. Props.
Carnivorous Lickers
17-08-2006, 16:20
Was this an actual robbery, or a "Sex for Sam" stunt ?

I've paid toll collectors while getting road head, by the way.
The South Islands
17-08-2006, 16:28
Was this an actual robbery, or a "Sex for Sam" stunt ?

I've paid toll collectors while getting road head, by the way.

Isn't that somewhat...distracting?
Ieuano
17-08-2006, 16:30
wouldnt be confusing? I mean if the guy says faster and the girl speeds up and the guy behind the till doesnt it can prove to be a be a bit inconveinient
Lunatic Goofballs
17-08-2006, 16:32
"Don't Shoot!" :eek:
Lunatic Goofballs
17-08-2006, 18:47
Nothing. Not even a giggle. Hmph.
Minoriteeburg
17-08-2006, 18:49
now that is a modern day bonnie and clyde...
Carnivorous Lickers
17-08-2006, 18:50
Isn't that somewhat...distracting?


Distracting isnt the word- you could forget to collect your change from the toll-taker .
United Marshlands
17-08-2006, 19:01
Isn't that somewhat...distracting?
Not if it only lasted 30 seconds. Chances are if when a male has sex while doing high risk activities he has a problem going for long periods, or he has ED.
Lunatic Goofballs
17-08-2006, 19:04
Not if it only lasted 30 seconds. Chances are if when a male has sex while doing high risk activities he has a problem going for long periods, or he has ED.

He prefers to be called Eddie. :)
Carnivorous Lickers
17-08-2006, 20:10
Not if it only lasted 30 seconds. Chances are if when a male has sex while doing high risk activities he has a problem going for long periods, or he has ED.

that hasnt been the case with me. And high risk? Not in my opinion, I was on the Garden State Parkway, not in a stock car race.
Farnhamia
17-08-2006, 20:15
that hasnt been the case with me. And high risk? Not in my opinion, I was on the Garden State Parkway, not in a stock car race.
That was you? :D
Kamsaki
17-08-2006, 21:02
I find the charges amusing. The female, apparently, was displaying no lewd body parts, and yet it was a two-person act. One must assume, therefore, that it was she that was playing the active role in the engagement. And, therefore, is fined less?
Farnhamia
17-08-2006, 21:20
I find the charges amusing. The female, apparently, was displaying no lewd body parts, and yet it was a two-person act. One must assume, therefore, that it was she that was playing the active role in the engagement. And, therefore, is fined less?
The fact that she's 17 may have something to do with that. She'd end up in Juvenile Court, he'd end up in the regular Criminal Court.
New Foxxinnia
18-08-2006, 00:32
I guess it was either a BJ or some form of a Quickie since it said she wasn't indecent.
WDGann
18-08-2006, 00:38
I guess it was either a BJ or some form of a Quickie since it said she wasn't indecent.

Two words: crotchless panties.
Liberated New Ireland
18-08-2006, 00:39
I guess it was either a BJ or some form of a Quickie since it said she wasn't indecent.
Or she was wearing a skirt.
Delator
18-08-2006, 07:26
No jury in the world would convict him. :)

Hell, if I were on the jury, I would demand they be awarded some sort of prize.

"Most Creative Sexual Performance: 2006", or something...:p
Maraque
18-08-2006, 07:29
America... :p
Lunatic Goofballs
18-08-2006, 09:22
Hell, if I were on the jury, I would demand they be awarded some sort of prize.

"Most Creative Sexual Performance: 2006", or something...:p

Obviously you've never seen me and my wife. ...

...Well, perhaps I'd better not go into details. If she found out, we wouldn't do it again. After spending all that money on custard, a catapult and dental floss, that would be a horrible shame. *nod*
Boonytopia
18-08-2006, 09:51
I wonder if they'll play the security tape footage to the jury?
Lunatic Goofballs
18-08-2006, 18:47
I wonder if they'll play the security tape footage to the jury?

Or the Playboy Channel. :)
JuNii
18-08-2006, 19:06
If it was a BJ... I wonder what would've happened if he had to fire his gun.... pistol... weapo... you know what I mean...

after all, most human refexes would be to tighten all muscles... including jaws... when a loud noise is discharged.
Lunatic Goofballs
18-08-2006, 19:12
If it was a BJ... I wonder what would've happened if he had to fire his gun.... pistol... weapo... you know what I mean...

after all, most human refexes would be to tighten all muscles... including jaws... when a loud noise is discharged.

He might discharge a load! :eek:
JuNii
18-08-2006, 19:18
He might discharge a load! :eek:
as she removes his weapon... :eek:
Ifreann
18-08-2006, 19:23
as she removes his weapon... :eek:
Well that'd put and end to the robbery pretty quickly. I wonder what the clerk would ask the 911 operator for first, the cops or an ambulance?
Theoretical Physicists
18-08-2006, 19:26
Obviously you've never seen me and my wife. ...

...Well, perhaps I'd better not go into details. If she found out, we wouldn't do it again. After spending all that money on custard, a catapult and dental floss, that would be a horrible shame. *nod*
I'll award you creativity points just for saying that, even if you are full of it.
Lunatic Goofballs
18-08-2006, 19:30
as she removes his weapon... :eek:

Yipe!
JuNii
18-08-2006, 19:39
Obviously you've never seen me and my wife. ...

...Well, perhaps I'd better not go into details. If she found out, we wouldn't do it again. After spending all that money on custard, a catapult and dental floss, that would be a horrible shame. *nod*
???

so you won't need the tub of crushed pinapples then?
JuNii
18-08-2006, 19:40
Yipe!
yep... all the teller had to do was throw something at her head...
Deep Kimchi
18-08-2006, 19:41
Sounds stupid to me.

Take the 17 year old home and have fun. He could have always robbed later, after he was sexually exhausted.
Lunatic Goofballs
18-08-2006, 19:44
???

so you won't need the tub of crushed pinapples then?

That's next week. I just hope the penguins arrive in time.
Lunatic Goofballs
18-08-2006, 19:45
I'll award you creativity points just for saying that, even if you are full of it.

Would it be scarier if I WAS full of it, or if I wasn't? :)
JuNii
18-08-2006, 19:46
That's next week. I just hope the penguins arrive in time.
ahh... then I won't cancel the order.
Carnivorous Lickers
18-08-2006, 19:46
He might discharge a load! :eek:

You always have to treat it as if its loaded and never pull it out unless you intend to use it.
Lunatic Goofballs
18-08-2006, 19:50
You always have to treat it as if its loaded and never pull it out unless you intend to use it.

And be careful when cleaning it or it might go off. *nod*