NationStates Jolt Archive

We've got so much going on that people are forced to multitask constantly. For example a couple recently robbed a store at gunpoint while engaged in an undisclosed sex act. Clearly the American people are just too damn busy.

http://www.livingstondaily.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060811/NEWS01/608110313/1002

Finally! Some criminals I can respect. 34 year old man gettin' his jollies with a 17 year old while robbing a store.

I say, "Thumbs up, dude. Thumbs way fuckin' up!"

I'm with Keruvalia on this one.

No jury in the world would convict him. :)

That takes some mad skills. Props.

Was this an actual robbery, or a "Sex for Sam" stunt ?

I've paid toll collectors while getting road head, by the way.

Was this an actual robbery, or a "Sex for Sam" stunt ?

I've paid toll collectors while getting road head, by the way.

Isn't that somewhat...distracting?

wouldnt be confusing? I mean if the guy says faster and the girl speeds up and the guy behind the till doesnt it can prove to be a be a bit inconveinient

"Don't Shoot!" :eek:

Nothing. Not even a giggle. Hmph.

now that is a modern day bonnie and clyde...

Isn't that somewhat...distracting?


Distracting isnt the word- you could forget to collect your change from the toll-taker .

Isn't that somewhat...distracting?
Not if it only lasted 30 seconds. Chances are if when a male has sex while doing high risk activities he has a problem going for long periods, or he has ED.

Not if it only lasted 30 seconds. Chances are if when a male has sex while doing high risk activities he has a problem going for long periods, or he has ED.

He prefers to be called Eddie. :)

Not if it only lasted 30 seconds. Chances are if when a male has sex while doing high risk activities he has a problem going for long periods, or he has ED.

that hasnt been the case with me. And high risk? Not in my opinion, I was on the Garden State Parkway, not in a stock car race.

that hasnt been the case with me. And high risk? Not in my opinion, I was on the Garden State Parkway, not in a stock car race.
That was you? :D

I find the charges amusing. The female, apparently, was displaying no lewd body parts, and yet it was a two-person act. One must assume, therefore, that it was she that was playing the active role in the engagement. And, therefore, is fined less?

I find the charges amusing. The female, apparently, was displaying no lewd body parts, and yet it was a two-person act. One must assume, therefore, that it was she that was playing the active role in the engagement. And, therefore, is fined less?
The fact that she's 17 may have something to do with that. She'd end up in Juvenile Court, he'd end up in the regular Criminal Court.

I guess it was either a BJ or some form of a Quickie since it said she wasn't indecent.

I guess it was either a BJ or some form of a Quickie since it said she wasn't indecent.

Two words: crotchless panties.

I guess it was either a BJ or some form of a Quickie since it said she wasn't indecent.
Or she was wearing a skirt.

No jury in the world would convict him. :)

Hell, if I were on the jury, I would demand they be awarded some sort of prize.

"Most Creative Sexual Performance: 2006", or something...:p

America... :p

Hell, if I were on the jury, I would demand they be awarded some sort of prize.

"Most Creative Sexual Performance: 2006", or something...:p

Obviously you've never seen me and my wife. ...

...Well, perhaps I'd better not go into details. If she found out, we wouldn't do it again. After spending all that money on custard, a catapult and dental floss, that would be a horrible shame. *nod*

I wonder if they'll play the security tape footage to the jury?

I wonder if they'll play the security tape footage to the jury?

Or the Playboy Channel. :)

If it was a BJ... I wonder what would've happened if he had to fire his gun.... pistol... weapo... you know what I mean...

after all, most human refexes would be to tighten all muscles... including jaws... when a loud noise is discharged.

If it was a BJ... I wonder what would've happened if he had to fire his gun.... pistol... weapo... you know what I mean...

after all, most human refexes would be to tighten all muscles... including jaws... when a loud noise is discharged.

He might discharge a load! :eek:

He might discharge a load! :eek:
as she removes his weapon... :eek:

as she removes his weapon... :eek:
Well that'd put and end to the robbery pretty quickly. I wonder what the clerk would ask the 911 operator for first, the cops or an ambulance?

Obviously you've never seen me and my wife. ...

...Well, perhaps I'd better not go into details. If she found out, we wouldn't do it again. After spending all that money on custard, a catapult and dental floss, that would be a horrible shame. *nod*
I'll award you creativity points just for saying that, even if you are full of it.

as she removes his weapon... :eek:

Yipe!

Obviously you've never seen me and my wife. ...

...Well, perhaps I'd better not go into details. If she found out, we wouldn't do it again. After spending all that money on custard, a catapult and dental floss, that would be a horrible shame. *nod*
???

so you won't need the tub of crushed pinapples then?

Yipe!
yep... all the teller had to do was throw something at her head...

Sounds stupid to me.

Take the 17 year old home and have fun. He could have always robbed later, after he was sexually exhausted.

???

so you won't need the tub of crushed pinapples then?

That's next week. I just hope the penguins arrive in time.

I'll award you creativity points just for saying that, even if you are full of it.

Would it be scarier if I WAS full of it, or if I wasn't? :)

That's next week. I just hope the penguins arrive in time.
ahh... then I won't cancel the order.

He might discharge a load! :eek:

You always have to treat it as if its loaded and never pull it out unless you intend to use it.

You always have to treat it as if its loaded and never pull it out unless you intend to use it.

And be careful when cleaning it or it might go off. *nod*