Advice please, or at least a good excuse.
Anti-Social Darwinism
14-08-2006, 01:23
I postponed my retirement from July to November, with my terminal vacation starting on August 25 (I will be letting my boss know the Monday before). I'm selling my house and, after a lot of research, have decided to move to the Colorado Springs area. (the story behind this is pretty sad, basically they hired a hatchet (wo)man who came in to fire people and I'm one of her targets - retiring is just stealing a march on her). The problem is my mother. She's in nursing home in the area and is too fragile to move. I feel guilty about leaving her here, but, as my daughter points out, If I'm not doing her any good now, what kind of good would I do her living in a box under the overpass? I feel a really nauseating combination of guilt, relief, fear and anticipation. If I stay, I live in poverty and would lose my house and everything I've worked for. If I go, I'm pretty much deserting my mother.
Curious Inquiry
14-08-2006, 01:25
Can you take her with? I understand they may have a nursing home in the Colorado Springs area . . .
Smunkeeville
14-08-2006, 01:38
you are not deserting your mom, you can come back and visit sometimes right? is she still lucid enough to read letters and reply? (sorry for the wording)
I had the same guilt and stuff when I moved cross country and left my mom behind (she is mentally ill) I finally figured out that if she wasn't ill she would want the best for me, and the best thing at the time was to move.
Call to power
14-08-2006, 01:41
well tell your mother I'm sure she'll understand
Multiland
14-08-2006, 01:45
*was going to post an advert for something, but just realised how insensitive it would be*
Ashmoria
14-08-2006, 03:54
you need to do your very best to work this out so that you dont have to leave your mother behind.
approach it as if you were going to stay. sell your house, look for a new job, search for a cheap rent.
you may not be able to work it out but you owe it to yourself and your mother to give it your best try. the only way you can expect to live the rest of your life without shame and regret is to do everything possible to do the right thing by your mother. then if it truly is a choice between a cardboard box or leaving your mother behind, you can know that you did everything you could and that sometimes life doesnt work out the way we want it to.