NationStates Jolt Archive

So today, I looked with disgust at the newest LEGO products, and felt the need to write a rant about it. But because I'm eccentric and innovative, or perhaps just plain weird, I decided to write it as a scene from a movie script. And, since I feel like making threads right now, I thought I'd share it with you all. What do you think, do I have a future as a screenwriter?



Person 1: Look at this. You see this? (Holds up LEGO set) Evidence of the end of Western Civilization. Proof of the accelerating and inevitable decline toward ignorance, complacency, and stagnation.

Person 2: Spongebob Squarepants?

1: No. Well, of course. But you have to look deeper. What IS this?

2: ... a LEGO set.

1: Excatly! Precisely! Indubitably so. Tell me. Did you play with LEGOs when you were young?

2: I thought the plural was just 'LEGO'.

1: Whatever. How many pieces in this set?

2: 579.

1: Only 579?! This is - (glances at the front of the set) - Bikini Bottom! A skillfully, elegantly crafted replica, indistinguishable from the show's selfsame landscape -

2: sea-bottom-scape?

1: - in the imaginations of the target audience! Years ago, a set as fantastic as this needed thousands of bricks, hours of building, a sense of fulfillment, the irreducible complexity of a LEGO structure! Where has this gone?! Don't you remember owning a tub of these things big enough to swim in? I wouldn't even stop at the sets' instructions; I'd build whatever came into my head, no matter how complex, I would devote superhuman longueur and determination to finding just the right piece!

2: ... so?

1: Where has the imagination gone? Why can't LEGO make a profit from those gloriously detailed sets? Why do we need a single rigid piece shaped like a butterfly net, or a wall constructed for us in a single piece, or specially-shaped characters that couldn't be more out of place anywhere else? I'll tell you why. Our children have lost their imaginations; their wits have been slowly but surely dulled by some foibles of our society. They no longer yearn to be architects, artists, creators of great works. They see no potential to express their thoughts and fantasies through media such as LEGO bricks. What they impatiently want are crude doppelgangers of the television shows they watch, so that they can manipulate them in homage of their god, the wretched tube, or the putrid paper-thin Plasma projection, whichever their parental units can afford.

Lego rules, in a way I wish I still have them.

Person 1 *is* me!

I did, and still do build whatever comes into my mind with legos.

I'm actually building a city..

Complete with college campus, hospital, government buildings, museums, etc..

Maybe I need a life, though..

Person 1 *is* me!

I did, and still do build whatever comes into my mind with legos.

I'm actually building a city..

Complete with college campus, hospital, government buildings, museums, etc..

Maybe I need a life, though..

Then I would build an asteroid to smash upon your pathetic lego city! *laughes like Dr. Evil*

Person 1 *is* me!

I did, and still do build whatever comes into my mind with legos.

I'm actually building a city..

Complete with college campus, hospital, government buildings, museums, etc..

Maybe I need a life, though..
I'll name him Ruffy when it becomes a movie, I promise. :)

Then I would build an asteroid to smash upon your pathetic lego city! *laughes like Dr. Evil*
OMG ... I just had an incredible idea ... SimCity ... with LEGO!!!

... I think it's been done though, there are lots of LEGO computer games.

Then I would build an asteroid to smash upon your pathetic lego city! *laughes like Dr. Evil*
:eek:

My beautiful city!

*cries*

I'll name him Ruffy when it becomes a movie, I promise. :)
Yes!

:fl*ffle:

Will I be getting paid?

:eek:

My beautiful city!

*cries*

Unless, you pay me 100 billions ba-jillions willions dollars! *laughes like Dr. Evil*

Seriously though, can we see pictures of this lego city of yours?

Yes!

:fl*ffle:

Will I be getting paid?
You can have a free DVD ... no royalties unless you act in it, though.

Unless, you pay me 100 billions ba-jillions willions dollars! *laughes like Dr. Evil*

Seriously though, can we see pictures of this lego city of yours?
http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/Goomg/legoville/

*copyrights*

I have other stuff to go with it.. but I'm too lazy to look for em and what not..

You can have a free DVD ... no royalties unless you act in it, though.
That is so not cool!

.. can I be an extra?

That is so not cool!

.. can I be an extra?
You could help write it. Maybe contribute a special poem about LEGO.

You could help write it. Maybe contribute a special poem about LEGO.
*exploits poem talents*

-snip-

2:Dude you've gotta stop smoking weed on the job:p

2:Dude you've gotta stop smoking weed on the job:p
I would, but Spongebob and his cadre of hovering potatoes keep flying in and out of the walls. I have to have something to calm me down.

>.>

<.<

http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/Goomg/legoville/

*copyrights*

I have other stuff to go with it.. but I'm too lazy to look for em and what not..


Holy crap.

Have my emo children.

Holy crap.

Have my emo children.
Test tube emo babies?

Lets do it!

I would, but Spongebob and his cadre of hovering potatoes keep flying in and out of the walls. I have to have something to calm me down.

>.>

<.<


Hey, thoses flying potatoes are my friends!http://img140.imageshack.us/my.php?image=potatoesqx6.jpg

Hey, thoses flying potatoes are my friends!http://img140.imageshack.us/my.php?image=potatoesqx6.jpg
Oh. Sorry I tried to smoke them. They were too large to fit in my bong anyway.

I have a small bong. :(

Test tube emo babies?

Lets do it!

Alright, I can't afford the professional stuff so we'll have to improvise... a vase will do, no?

Oh. Sorry I tried to smoke them. They were too large to fit in my bong anyway.

I have a small bong. :(

You could just grind them up.. HEY! WTF? You tried to smoke my friends?! You bastard:(

Alright, I can't afford the professional stuff so we'll have to improvise... a vase will do, no?
Hmmmm...

I must tell Straughn about this.

The Hybrid 2.0!

Hmm..

*collects DNA*

To hell with LEGO! What happened to Action Man!? When did Hasbro decide the couldn't be arsed any more? What happened to his hair? When did he go from being a man of action to someone who straps rockets to bears and launches dogs from a moving pickup?

When they added Harry Potter and Bionicle to their lineup, they went down the tubes.

Well. SOMEONE'S been channelling the ghost of Samuel Beckett.

*sniff* my LEGOs.... I haven't plyed with them in years! I must go back to them!

I guess the plural would be legos.

Legos my Eggos! :p

Bionacle....*gags*

Whatever happened to Techincal?

They don't even bother with all the old lines that made Lego great. Castle, Pirate, Space...

...but we have Spider-man, Harry Potter, and Star Wars! :rolleyes:

Lego is a mere shadow of it's former self. :(

Remember when lego made their OWN story sets. You know Wolfpack and Dragonmasters versus Royal Knights, the Imperial Guards versus Pirates?
Aquanughts, Islanders, BlackTron against Space Police?

Now it's all copied off of every ****ing Fad out there.
Harry Pothead, Star Wars, it disgusts me, it really does. And now that LSD influenced Sponge show?

It's a vast West Wing conspiracy. LEGO (s?) actually contain tiny subliminal broadcasting systems, designed to make children more compliant with the Atlantean Agenda.

Lego used to rule. Nowadays it's plain sh*t, they've become to commercial. For me I drew the line at the Hary Potter collection... :headbang:

I still have loads and loads of LEGO and I used to have a massive city (with Football Stadium and Airport :D ) untill my mum decided I was too old for LEGO and she destroyed the entire city... :(

Lego used to rule. Nowadays it's plain sh*t, they've become to commercial. For me I drew the line at the Hary Potter collection... :headbang:

I still have loads and loads of LEGO and I used to have a massive city (with Football Stadium and Airport :D ) untill my mum decided I was too old for LEGO and she destroyed the entire city... :(

Take them with you when you move out. Once in your ownplace you can build it again. :)

I can understand the concern for the lack of creativity involved in Lego nowadays, but there is another purpose that Lego serves that still makes it a viable learning tool: spatial visualization. Even if people do nothing but copy designs from the outside of the box and build the models that way, they still have to be able to take a two dimensional drawing and translate it into a 3D model.

I know exactly what you mean! I played with Lego as a kid and remember when it was a way to flex some creative muscle-- you could build pretty much anything with enough time and if you had a large enough assortment of pieces. But now everything is so specific, pieces are custom-moulded for specific use; not only does it not require any creativity but it practically discourages it. And while they do still have the kits with basic pieces, they're *so* basic that you can pretty much use them to build cubes, cubes and more cubes.

What I wish Lego had done is open up stores with bins full of every kind of piece, where you can go in and buy it per-piece, or even building things in the store and paying as you go.

Kids are just lazy bastards with no creativity who sit in front of one screen or another while their parents wait on them.

I built the set with directions, and then I made it my own. Pier Police? Neat. Pier Police with a MOTHERFUCKIN' BATTLESHIP? Hells Yeah!

Bionacle....*gags*

Whatever happened to Techincal?

They don't even bother with all the old lines that made Lego great. Castle, Pirate, Space...

...but we have Spider-man, Harry Potter, and Star Wars! :rolleyes:

Lego is a mere shadow of it's former self. :(
Amen to Technical. I still have my pneumatics set somewhere. Some of the old Star Wars kits had class, like the gigantic X-wing and TIE Interceptor they did, both about £90.

My fondest creation is a six wheeled APC, it looks like it could be an official kit.

i have to agree 100% with person one

lego has become weak and caves into the kids with no imagination but want to play with legos anyway.

its insanity

*looks for my big bucket of legos i think i still have somewhere around here*

So today, I looked with disgust at the newest LEGO products, and felt the need to write a rant about it. But because I'm eccentric and innovative, or perhaps just plain weird, I decided to write it as a scene from a movie script. And, since I feel like making threads right now, I thought I'd share it with you all. What do you think, do I have a future as a screenwriter?



Person 1: Look at this. You see this? (Holds up LEGO set) Evidence of the end of Western Civilization. Proof of the accelerating and inevitable decline toward ignorance, complacency, and stagnation.

Person 2: Spongebob Squarepants?

1: No. Well, of course. But you have to look deeper. What IS this?

2: ... a LEGO set.

1: Excatly! Precisely! Indubitably so. Tell me. Did you play with LEGOs when you were young?

2: I thought the plural was just 'LEGO'.

1: Whatever. How many pieces in this set?

2: 579.

1: Only 579?! This is - (glances at the front of the set) - Bikini Bottom! A skillfully, elegantly crafted replica, indistinguishable from the show's selfsame landscape -

2: sea-bottom-scape?

1: - in the imaginations of the target audience! Years ago, a set as fantastic as this needed thousands of bricks, hours of building, a sense of fulfillment, the irreducible complexity of a LEGO structure! Where has this gone?! Don't you remember owning a tub of these things big enough to swim in? I wouldn't even stop at the sets' instructions; I'd build whatever came into my head, no matter how complex, I would devote superhuman longueur and determination to finding just the right piece!

2: ... so?

1: Where has the imagination gone? Why can't LEGO make a profit from those gloriously detailed sets? Why do we need a single rigid piece shaped like a butterfly net, or a wall constructed for us in a single piece, or specially-shaped characters that couldn't be more out of place anywhere else? I'll tell you why. Our children have lost their imaginations; their wits have been slowly but surely dulled by some foibles of our society. They no longer yearn to be architects, artists, creators of great works. They see no potential to express their thoughts and fantasies through media such as LEGO bricks. What they impatiently want are crude doppelgangers of the television shows they watch, so that they can manipulate them in homage of their god, the wretched tube, or the putrid paper-thin Plasma projection, whichever their parental units can afford.

See the Lego V sEX thread...I take it you prefer the later?

LEGO indeed use to be cool; I still have a Pirate ship somewhere, along with a Castle. The two would fight it out, Knights vs. Pirates was so much better before those crazy Ninjas jumped in :p :D

I know exactly what you mean! I played with Lego as a kid and remember when it was a way to flex some creative muscle-- you could build pretty much anything with enough time and if you had a large enough assortment of pieces. But now everything is so specific, pieces are custom-moulded for specific use; not only does it not require any creativity but it practically discourages it. And while they do still have the kits with basic pieces, they're *so* basic that you can pretty much use them to build cubes, cubes and more cubes.

What I wish Lego had done is open up stores with bins full of every kind of piece, where you can go in and buy it per-piece, or even building things in the store and paying as you go.

Actually, they do, They are called The Lego Store, I know they have some at their Lego Theme Parks, and I saw one at Disney World near that new, Virtual Reality Building.