NationStates Jolt Archive

would you be considered anti-social if you are afraid to speak to speak to people? When your afraid that they won't accept you or if your wondering if your still friend's with the person. Also, would you consider a person like that thinking they're too good for anyone?

would you be considered anti-social if you are afraid to speak to speak to people? When your afraid that they won't accept you or if your wondering if your still friend's with the person. Also, would you consider a person like that thinking they're too good for anyone?

I am anti-social, and nah I don't think I'm too good for anyone. Doesn't mean I'll hang out with just anyone though.

If you say nothing, it's easy for people to misinterpret your intentions. As someone who was very shy up until my twenties, though, I would not think someone necessarily anti-social. I would assume either uncomfortable or scoping out the situation.

Someone who's anti-social is usually someone that doesn't get along with other people because they don't like other people, and don't want to like other people.

would you be considered anti-social if you are afraid to speak to speak to people? When your afraid that they won't accept you or if your wondering if your still friend's with the person.

Sounds more like being insecure than being anti-social...

I wouldn't always call that behavior "anti-social". I'm that way, but I like to socialise.

I just have to warm up to people. I talk if I'm sure they genuinely like me. If their behavior seems to be more an act that anything else, I'll usually just simply acknowledge what they say to me, rather than start conversing with them.

If I can't really talk with someone, why do it?

Someone who's anti-social is usually someone that doesn't get along with other people because they don't like other people, and don't want to like other people.



Sounds more like being insecure than being anti-social...

yeah i define myself more insecure that you brought it up

Does it have anything to do with you not liking the people you're surrounded by? Like, I usually talk to people who are similar to myself easily: But I can't talk to anyone in my school because I'm an atheist liberal commie in the Bible Belt.

Does it have anything to do with you not liking the people you're surrounded by? Like, I usually talk to people who are similar to myself easily: But I can't talk to anyone in my school because I'm an atheist liberal commie in the Bible Belt.
Well, you can start by developing the very underestimated art of listening. It's really, really useful. You don't have to do much either.

I just try to avoid social gatherings, family gatherings too, I like to be in my room or dorm room alot, and I'll only work with other people when forced to. I have a small circle of real friends, and yea. I dunno if you would call me anti-social or not.

It's a perfectly normal mode of behavior, but our society does seem biased against it somewhat. People-people (for lack of a better word) are seen as normal and healthy, and any other types of people are seen as abnormal.

It also helps to pin down exactly what you mean by "afraid". There are many shades of shyness, including:

- Plain old run-of-the-mill shyness (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shyness)

- Psychological disorders like Social Anxiety Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder) or Avoidant Personality Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder) (these tend to mainfest as a shyness so acute that it interferes with one's daily life and well-being).

- Introversion (http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introversion), a broad and perfectly healthy class of people who "recharge" by being alone with their thoughts instead of chatting with others

- Asperger Syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome), a form of autism wcharacterized by high intelligence with poor social skills.

nah youre just shy.

there are times when i have been having fun with strangers and i get sick of it. at that point i consider myself anti-social because i dont want to be around other people who arent in my immediate family.

i give quiet people the benefit of the doubt and consider them to be shy until they prove that they are indeed snobs who arent talking to me because im not good enough for them.

Someone who's anti-social is usually someone that doesn't get along with other people because they don't like other people, and don't want to like other people.



Sounds more like being insecure than being anti-social...

what he/she said.

i am anti social in so much as i dislike people in general...i have very close friends,but most people i dont want to interact with...and i do not think i am better then anyone,i just dont want to deal with the usual bullshit.

well for me it's like i use to talk to my friends all the time, and seeing how they treat some people badly. Also, I kinda have experiences in the past where people treated me wrong, so I thought well if i become quieter people won't notice me anymore and then maybe they'll start liking me better.

well for me it's like i use to talk to my friends all the time, and seeing how they treat some people badly. Also, I kinda have experiences in the past where people treated me wrong, so I thought well if i become quieter people won't notice me anymore and then maybe they'll start liking me better.

Eh I just wanted them to stop paying attention to me.

would you be considered anti-social if you are afraid to speak to speak to people?
If the fear manifested in behaviour, then very probably.

When your afraid that they won't accept you or if your wondering if your still friend's with the person. Also, would you consider a person like that thinking they're too good for anyone?
Depends if I knew why they were being 'stand-offish', I'm no mind-reader.

would you be considered anti-social if you are afraid to speak to speak to people? When your afraid that they won't accept you or if your wondering if your still friend's with the person. Also, would you consider a person like that thinking they're too good for anyone?
i don't know about the second bit, but the first bit reminds me of the social anxiety i used to get at uni http://www.socialphobia.org/

I was insecure about myself just a few months back with friends who were the same. Thats when I realised I was only like this because the people I knew were like this. So I kept these friends but got more outgoing friends simply by gradually anging out with them. Now I'm social and have many friends. If that helps then yay if not then I just wasted a minute of my life posting this so damn you!!!!:p

I get nauseous whenever I'm around large groups of people. Maybe it's social anxiety. I'm not sure. But I had to see a psychiatrist about it.

would you be considered anti-social if you are afraid to speak to speak to people? When your afraid that they won't accept you or if your wondering if your still friend's with the person. Also, would you consider a person like that thinking they're too good for anyone?Asocial is probably the term you're looking for ;)

I have a friend who really doesn't talk to many people, and people have told me that they thought she was a "snob" but really it's not that she is a snob, but that she just doesn't have that drive to go out and make friends, she was one of those kids who would sit down in a corner and read a book, once you make the move and get to know her she is really nice and a really good friend, but it's like it doesn't occur to her to talk to people.


It's funny because her husband is one of those "everyone is my best friend" types of people, he remembers everyone's birthday, he notices if you are feeling down (very empathetic), once we were at a restraunt and I accidentally hit my arm on the table, and he called the next day to see if it "was still okay", it wasn't even that big of an injury, I just hit my funny bone, and still he called to check on me the next day.

People think I am snobby sometimes because I don't generally seek out people to talk to, I pretty much stay quiet unless I have something interesting to add (this post not included) and I think it's because they are insecure, if you think about it, it's the "she doesn't think I am good enough" crowd that always says people are being snobs.

Long story short, my friend and I are working on trying to be more "outgoing", we approach people who look like they are being left out and try to make friends with them, we have little notebooks in our purses that we write down key details after a conversation, and then try to bring them up later when we see the person again

"last time we talked your dad was sick, is he feeling better?" etc.

it sounds dorky, but I have had someone come up to me just about every day for the last few weeks saying "you know I used to think you and <my friends name> were snobs, but really you were just quiet.:p

it's like i wanna make more friends, but i'm afraid they're not gonna accept me, or they'll say something behind my back. I had an experience with a friend who would act like, he likes people then behind their back he would say oh I don't like them. I concerned about that a lot.

Thats not anti social thats non social.

it's like i wanna make more friends, but i'm afraid they're not gonna accept me, or they'll say something behind my back. I had an experience with a friend who would act like, he likes people then behind their back he would say oh I don't like them. I concerned about that a lot.
why?

If he does that then he looks bad, not you. If someone comes up to you and says "so and so said that you were...whatever" then you can say, "that's not true, he must be mistaken"

You can't make people like you, either they do or they don't, and if they don't it's not really your fault.

would you be considered anti-social if you are afraid to speak to speak to people? When your afraid that they won't accept you or if your wondering if your still friend's with the person. Also, would you consider a person like that thinking they're too good for anyone?
In the first instance you are most probably insecure, in which case it is a good idea not to talk to people, they probably won't like you. Nobody likes insecurity. In the latter case, you are not anti-social if you don't like talking to idiots. Just picky.

well I feel intimidated by the popular people, and I do hang around a group that is popular so I feel pressurized to hang around them to get noticed.

That also applies to me too, and it's actually happened- people saying stuff behind my back and using me and bullying me... from before 2nd grade (when I moved here) to about... 5th grade. It still happens too, now I have barely any social skills except on the internet. That's why I stopped hanging around other girls. I blame my shyness on the other girls around here, that and the constant fear of my sister taking over like she always does and affecting my friendships- that's why most of my guy friends either hate her or have never met her; I don't want to be known as "her weird older sister" like I was all through middle school (THANK GOD I AM GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL NOW!)

So yes, I can seem anti-social at times, but really I'm just shy. I'm always left out and some of this is from ADD. Band camp actually helped though :)

well I feel intimidated by the popular people, and I do hang around a group that is popular so I feel pressurized to hang around them to get noticed.
I guess I can't help much since I was one of the "popular crowd" (not by choice) I don't see what the big deal is though, all through highschool I had 1 friend, 1 good friend, all the rest of them just followed me around, it wasn't like it helped me any to be popular, it didn't make my life easier, and nobody "really liked me" they just wanted to be seen with me so they could say things like "yesterday I went to the skate park with Smunkee"

In the long run it really doesn't matter if you are popular, if people like you, if people hate you, all you can do is be yourself and live the best life you can.

I guess I can't help much since I was one of the "popular crowd" (not by choice) I don't see what the big deal is though, all through highschool I had 1 friend, 1 good friend, all the rest of them just followed me around, it wasn't like it helped me any to be popular, it didn't make my life easier, and nobody "really liked me" they just wanted to be seen with me so they could say things like "yesterday I went to the skate park with Smunkee"

In the long run it really doesn't matter if you are popular, if people like you, if people hate you, all you can do is be yourself and live the best life you can.

your absolutely right