NationStates Jolt Archive


Israeli political and tactical strategy and why it makes perfect sence

Intestinal fluids
04-08-2006, 14:19
I came home one day and i walked into my Living Room. It had been ransacked and a few things had been stolen. It was winter and while examining the grounds around my window, i saw footprints from my neighbors house across the alley. I called the police, they came out, asked a few questions, filed a report and left.

A few days later i returned to my home again, and again my house had been broken into. I found the same footprints, the new lock in the window had been broken. I called the police, told them of the footprints, put a new stronger lock on the window. The police filed a report and did nothing.

So i confronted my neighbor. I asked him why i was getting my home broken into and why the footprints were always coming from his house. He explained to me that he has this crazy drunken brother in law who goes on rampages and the guy is just uncontrollable and has threatened to slap his wife and beat the kids if he says anything about it. But the brother in law does help pay the rent so they let him stay.

My house was broken into a few more times following the same pattern. Furious, i went into the alley. I took a hammer and nails and pounded my neighbors side alley door shut. I scattered glass and nails in the alley and pulled old mattress frames and stacked them over the side door and obstructed the alley as much as i could. This solved the problem. The drunken brotherinlaw couldnt get passed the barriers and the problem was solved. However, the cops didnt like me clogging the alley, said was a violation of code. Told me i had to remove all the barriers, but in a stroke of wonderful luck for me i was told an officer would patrol the alley.

I thought my problems were solved! However as the days went by i began to notice my patrol officer would be sleeping off in the corner. Then after a few months i noticed to my suprise, that the crazy brother in law was chatting amicably with the patrol officer. This goes on for several months(or 6 years).

I came home one day and sure enough my Living Room has been broken into again. Not only that but my dog is missing and thier is a ransom note from the brother in law. Knowing the police will do nothing, I say fuck this, and grab my shotgun from the mantle and get up on the second floor and hold watch over the alley.

Next day comes and son of a bitch! The brother in law snuck past the dumpster and the old rusted out car in the alley and hit my LR again! So I clear out the alley so there are no obstructions and start shooting until not just one crooked and indifferent cop shows up but 5 or 6 good cops and ones that will arrest the brotherinlaw if he is seen skulking about.

Cast of Characters:

Narrator-Israel
Neighbor- Lebonon
Brotherinlaw-Hezbolla
Dog- kidnapped soilder
alley- 3-4 miles of lebonese border territory
Cops-UN

(Close curtian)

(Bows to crowd)
Gravlen
04-08-2006, 14:29
You left out the part where the narrator shot the officer who didn't have the power to arrest the brother-in-law anyway, and where the narrator accidently shot the neighbours kids and wife and accidently destroyed his car and set his house on fire, and where the chief of police didn't say anything about it because he was the narrator's closest friend, and how the neighbour of the neighbour kept persuading and helping the brother-in-law to break into the narrator's house, and how another neighbour kept...

Aw hell.

It was well below par. Marks: 2/10
Aelosia
04-08-2006, 14:33
You left out the part where the narrator shot the officer who didn't have the power to arrest the brother-in-law anyway, and where the narrator accidently shot the neighbours kids and wife and accidently destroyed his car and set his house on fire, and where the chief of police didn't say anything about it because he was the narrator's closest friend, and how the neighbour of the neighbour kept persuading and helping the brother-in-law to break into the narrator's house, and how another neighbour kept...

Aw hell.

It was well below par. Marks: 2/10

Wow, with your additions the story seems to be perfectly complete. I indeed agree with both posts together.
Deep Kimchi
04-08-2006, 14:36
You left out the part where the narrator shot the officer who didn't have the power to arrest the brother-in-law anyway, and where the narrator accidently shot the neighbours kids and wife and accidently destroyed his car and set his house on fire, and where the chief of police didn't say anything about it because he was the narrator's closest friend, and how the neighbour of the neighbour kept persuading and helping the brother-in-law to break into the narrator's house, and how another neighbour kept...

Aw hell.

It was well below par. Marks: 2/10


Well, my story would have been different.

I would have had a private chat with the crazy brother in law. If he wanted to continue to use my living room as a shopping center and public lavatory, then I would feel free to use his skin as a curtain for my windows, and boil his children down to make lard.

I would also tell the supposedly sane brother that he had better do something about his brother in law, or I will do it for him. And if I have to be bothered to do something, it won't be PG-13.
Kecibukia
04-08-2006, 15:00
Wow, with your additions the story seems to be perfectly complete. I indeed agree with both posts together.

Well you also have to add in the part where the crazy BIL started shooting back while hiding behind the cop and family members.
Aelosia
04-08-2006, 15:16
Well you also have to add in the part where the crazy BIL started shooting back while hiding behind the cop and family members.

Yes, indeed it is true. But can you add that both the cop and the family members cried out for help?
Intestinal fluids
04-08-2006, 15:18
Yes, indeed it is true. But can you add that both the cop and the family members cried out for help?

Yea i think the solution to that is cops that have balls and actualy help more and cry less.
Kecibukia
04-08-2006, 15:24
Yes, indeed it is true. But can you add that both the cop and the family members cried out for help?

That would be good. The reply would be that the police at the station sat around drinking coffee and eating donuts debating who they would send.
Gravlen
04-08-2006, 16:28
...and don't forget the cop who didn't ask them to stop the violence, but gave ammuntion to the narrator instead. And how the narrator had moved his fences. And how the brother-in-law threw rocks at the narrator's children, and claimed that he only broke in to get back property which was rightfully his, and to support... uh... the palestinians
http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/8858/police7mp.jpg

I got to go, it seems... :(