NationStates Jolt Archive

WASHINGTON, DC- Congress has passed a bill today in hopes to inspire the American populace back to the polls for the Congressional elections this November called "Vote and Die." "Less than half the American populace that could vote in 2004 did vote," bill sponsor and Senate Majority leader Bill Frist (R-TN) said. "Meanwhile, in the December 2005 Iraq elections the Iraqi populous came in force with a 80% turnout despite the fear that they would be killed." With this bill the federal government will create a fierce anti-democracy terrorist organization that will threaten any voters with death in hopes to inspire Americans to practice their right to vote. Various scare tactics will be used in the run-up such as drive-by shootings of voting stations and attempted assassinations of candidates. On Election Day air raid sirens will sporadically go off around many cities to indicate incoming mortar shells being fired into city centers to dismay the populous from voting only to fail as Americans proudly uphold their rights as citizens. After a citizen votes their finger will be dipped in purple ink to indicate they have voted, and also to make it easier for the anti-democracy terrorists to identify freedom hating non-voters from the fearless American voter. An election will be held on September 12th to name the terrorist organization that will be made using Federal funding to bring an end to American democracy.

Brilliant. Absofuckinglutley brilliant.

Brilliant. Absofuckinglutley brilliant.
Truly. I think the blue dye should go on the forehead, not the finger. It's cold here in November and people wear gloves.:D

People will still ignore elections.

I endorse this plan.

That's certainly the best plan to increase voter turnout I've seen.





Granted, it's also the only plan I've heard about...

American turnout would be somewhere around -34% then! LOL! Great idea, hell you just cant help but use the "it worked over there to have over 80%, it'll happen here too!!" ;)

That's certainly the best plan to increase voter turnout I've seen.





Granted, it's also the only plan I've heard about...


I agree.. :(

I call bull. There's no way the US government would want to encourage people to vote. Democracy? Not in my gosh darn Unayted Staytes!

I call bull. There's no way the US government would want to encourage people to vote. Democracy? Not in my gosh darn Unayted Staytes!
LOL! How freaking/sadly true.

Great idea, hell you just cant help but use the "it worked over there to have over 80%, it'll happen here too!!"Allowing fictional characters onto the ballot and allowing 12-year-olds to vote worked in Nationstates. How about combining all three?

Allowing fictional characters onto the ballot and allowing 12-year-olds to vote worked in Nationstates. How about combining all three?
Who would Scrooge McDuck vote for?

So basically, either I vote or the goverment kill me? Well, that sucks.

So basically, either I vote or the goverment kill me? Well, that sucks.

No, no, no. You vote and then the government kills you. Look. Vote and die. It's a threat, they're trying to decrease voter turnout.

No, no, no. You vote and then the government kills you. Look. Vote and die. It's a threat, they're trying to decrease voter turnout.

Ahh, we're talking about Iraq...ahh forget it, it's 2 in the morning and I can't read right, right now. :p

Who would Scrooge McDuck vote for?
McDuck's man is already in the White House. If he can't get multimillionaire love from a Bush, he's too stupid to be rich.