NationStates Jolt Archive

... To be going here for advice like a fucking emo kid. :)

Okay, here's the deal, I managed to get myself obsessed with someone. I mean truly fucking hung up, and unfortunately, I can't do shit about it. Problem is, I've got some pretty fucking self-destructive tendencies (cutting up my right knee with a razorblade -_-), and I know, go to a professional, and I will, but anybody have any ideas on what to do in the meantime?

masturbate?

Eat Cheetos and masturbate.

masturbate, natch.

YAY! Actually helpful. :D I figured that would feature heavily in any NSG solution, and I doff my e-hat to you. :)

We need more details.

Right, the mods can close this thread now.

:s

We need more details.

about masturbation?

I could do with some new techniques:)

Oh please, it's all the same with minor variations.

*cough*vacuumcleaner*cough*

vacuumcleaner

never tried it the furthest I’ve done is butter (a slight improvement actually though not worth the hassle)

edit: remember the blow button is not what the name suggests

We need more details.

Aww c'mon Alien Jh aka "Pooky", you can do better than that.

*Cough*

Im glad your girlfriend didnt go postal on you though =p

never tried it the furthest I’ve done is butter (a slight improvement actually though not worth the hassle)

Not worth the risk of wrist strain caused by over-exhertion. Most embarassing RSI ever.

YAY! Actually helpful. :D I figured that would feature heavily in any NSG solution, and I doff my e-hat to you. :)
Asshat? What? :confused:

Asshat? What? :confused:

E-hat.

E-hat.
I know.;)

Aww c'mon Alien Jh aka "Pooky", you can do better than that.

*Cough*

Im glad your girlfriend didnt go postal on you though =p

Well, things got bad actually... At least, they did today...

Well, things got bad actually... At least, they did today...

Talk about masturbation or don't talk at all. :P

Talk about masturbation or don't talk at all. :P

Don't be a jerk-off.... I mean go ahead and... But still.... nevermind.

I found this thread oddly...stimulating...

Intellectually...I mean...

The internet is for porn. Use it as God intended!

Oh, and drink. Drink, drink, drink, drink drink, and, uh, did I mention, DRINK!

I found this thread oddly...stimulating...

Intellectually...I mean...

Yeah, yeah, sure.

The internet is for porn. Use it as God intended!

Oh, and drink. Drink, drink, drink, drink drink, and, uh, did I mention, DRINK!
Drinking and Masturbation could end in disaster. I was the one who had to drive my friend to the hospital after breaking it while drunk and masturbating using a PVC pipe. Idiot...

*cough*vacuumcleaner*cough*
...I couldn't fit it...

Damn you, minivac, damn you!!!

Masturbate like a drunken monkey on acid.

nice...
masturbation is fine...
but whatever...

I guess moving to another town or making some other really severe and important changes in your life might really help...

and you definately have to realise that life is not about being with so special... its about... whatever... maybe being happy... you can be happy without so special... its not that difficult... ok it is hard to realise first...

and try to avoid this person as much as possible... everything else will make it harder... besides not trying to hard even could improve your chance with this person...

the best way to get over an obsession is to ruin the relationship entirely and then sulk it off for a couple of weeks while you masturbate and find a new obsession

Tluikorap']nice...
masturbation is fine...
but whatever...

I guess moving to another town or making some other really severe and important changes in your life might really help...

and you definately have to realise that life is not about being with so special... its about... whatever... maybe being happy... you can be happy without so special... its not that difficult... ok it is hard to realise first...

and try to avoid this person as much as possible... everything else will make it harder... besides not trying to hard even could improve your chance with this person...

Oh, no, avoiding shouldn't be hard. Put simply: utterly and completely fucked up so badly there will never be a chance. I'll concentrate my energies on something else, like rape or stamp collecting.

Special stamps that the hippie man called tabs. Meh, I'm going to look for something healthy to obsess over for a while, something nice and non self-destructive like knitting. :D

Drinking and Masturbation could end in disaster. I was the one who had to drive my friend to the hospital after breaking it while drunk and masturbating using a PVC pipe. Idiot...

Ouch.

The mind reels.

... To be going here for advice like a fucking emo kid. :)

Okay, here's the deal, I managed to get myself obsessed with someone. I mean truly fucking hung up, and unfortunately, I can't do shit about it. Problem is, I've got some pretty fucking self-destructive tendencies (cutting up my right knee with a razorblade -_-), and I know, go to a professional, and I will, but anybody have any ideas on what to do in the meantime?
So... why do you cut yourself?
Actually, no, I don't ACTUALLY care... Cutters never have a good answer. *sigh*
My real question is, why is this getting in the way of you getting in this girl's pants?

There is no good reason. It is complete and total self-indulgent bullshit, and that's my honest hypocrite's opinion.

The reason: Everytime I speak nearby, she does that fake yawn thing. Also, she just doesn't like me, and there isn't anything I can do about that. I once tried talking to her normally, and I ended up making a fuckwit of myself. :D My social skills leave something to be desired.

Not important though, I'm just trying to get a stop-gap distraction for the whole obsessive thing until I can get to the doctor's next week to sign myself up to the crazy list.

masturbate?


yeeeep....

Eat Cheetos and masturbate.

Don't be a fool. You'll get cheeto residue all over your penis. or vagina, I cant be bothered to go back and check your gender. if you only masturbate with one hand and only eat with the other it might be okay.

Don't be a fool. You'll get cheeto residue all over your penis. or vagina, I cant be bothered to go back and check your gender. if you only masturbate with one hand and only eat with the other it might be okay.

I don't fancy the possible cross-contamination issues.

Don't be a fool. You'll get cheeto residue all over your penis. or vagina, I cant be bothered to go back and check your gender. if you only masturbate with one hand and only eat with the other it might be okay.
...What if you use two hands?

The reason: Everytime I speak nearby, she does that fake yawn thing. Also, she just doesn't like me, and there isn't anything I can do about that. I once tried talking to her normally, and I ended up making a fuckwit of myself. My social skills leave something to be desired.

Well, shape up your social skills. I really have no idea on how to do that... I just know that one day, I was getting into fights (AKA one-sided beatdowns, with me taking the beatings...) everyday, and the next, I had a decent social standing...
But start making friends with her friends... and eventually, once she gets to like you ask her out.

And bang her! Testiclese, the God of Manliness, demands it!

There is no good reason. It is complete and total self-indulgent bullshit, and that's my honest hypocrite's opinion.

The reason: Everytime I speak nearby, she does that fake yawn thing. Also, she just doesn't like me, and there isn't anything I can do about that. I once tried talking to her normally, and I ended up making a fuckwit of myself. :D My social skills leave something to be desired.

Not important though, I'm just trying to get a stop-gap distraction for the whole obsessive thing until I can get to the doctor's next week to sign myself up to the crazy list.
If she doesn't like you, and shows it, then she's a bitch. Don't waste your time on her, man.

If she doesn't like you, and shows it, then she's a bitch. Don't waste your time on her, man.
No, RTC. Shut up.

I would, but I don't even really like her, and that's why I'm so bothered. If it was just a crush, I wouldn't be rushing here for distraction, I'd be out there, I don't know, strutting?

I would, but I don't even really like her, and that's why I'm so bothered. If it was just a crush, I wouldn't be rushing here for distraction, I'd be out there, I don't know, strutting?
Hang on. You don't like her? Then WTF are we talking about?

Hang on. You don't like her? Then WTF are we talking about?


I don't like her, but can't help the obsession bit. Hence, the not quite sane thing. I wasn't asking for help, I was asking for some kind of advice o distracting myself. :S

I don't like her, but can't help the obsession bit. Hence, the not quite sane thing. I wasn't asking for help, I was asking for some kind of advice o distracting myself. :S

Cardboard cut-outs?

Cardboard cut-outs?

I think we have a winner.
http://assets.jolt.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

I don't like her, but can't help the obsession bit. Hence, the not quite sane thing. I wasn't asking for help, I was asking for some kind of advice o distracting myself. :S
If you're obsessed with someone you don't like/doesn't like you... that's just plain fucking creepy. It makes me think of the motivation of a stalker... Is your name Travis Bickle, perchance?

If you're obsessed with someone you don't like/doesn't like you... that's just plain fucking creepy. It makes me think of the motivation of a stalker... Is your name Travis Bickle, perchance?

Owch, that hurt.

I'm not a stalker! NO NO NO! And is there any need to be a jackass? Ahh, curse my returning to NSG!

Owch, that hurt.

I'm not a stalker! NO NO NO! And is there any need to be a jackass? Ahh, curse my returning to NSG!
How was I being a jackass? I just said that being obsessed with someone you don't like is a little creepy.

And, IMHO, being compared to Travis Bickle is a compliment.

Eat Cheetos and masturbate.

Do that while drinking the strongest drink you can get your hands on.

The psychotic film character? I don't run around shooting pimps. ._.

Do that while drinking the strongest drink you can get your hands on.
While we're on the topic of masturbation, let me just say that masturbating while taking a shower while having the water hit your wang produces a euphoric feeling.

By the way, how old are you?

Do that while drinking the strongest drink you can get your hands on.
Ah you must mean the Guiness Peacemaker.

The psychotic film character? I don't run around shooting pimps. ._.
I'm just sayin' I would take it as a compliment. I really identify with him. Which other tend to find slightly weird...
<.<
>.>

While we're on the topic of masturbation, let me just say that masturbating while taking a shower while having the water hit your wang produces a euphoric feeling.

You see, this is the kind of thing I'm looking for. :p

>_>

<_<

*takes notes*

You see, this is the kind of thing I'm looking for. :p

>_>

<_<

*takes notes*
Glad I could help.

You see, this is the kind of thing I'm looking for. :p

>_>

<_<

*takes notes*
...You could try pegging...

?_?

?_?
Hehe, I'm just fucking with you. Pegging is... well, go here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation#Male). The fifth paragraph of this subheading details pegging...

Mmmm, immasculating.