Jenrak
27-07-2006, 15:57
This is my first attempt at a conversion myself, so bear with me. I am Jenrak, but in my cult I am humbly named Number Zero. We're not trying to label each member with a statistic, so don't worry. What I represent? Whom do I worship? Great Magma Nose! The fiery nose that spewed nasty fire from his hairy orifices. I'm just kidding. But I am the leader of a cult my own, and I started this originally as a joke (which is still a joke, kinda), but I've grown to over 160 members, which is quite good, I must say. Here's the basic fundamentals:
0% Mass Suicides, 0% praying prerequisites, 0% Damnation, 100% Ass-kicking.
Basic, simple philosophy of my cult, er religion. *shifty look*
Unlike most religions, my cult (Ultra-Partyism, or TOTW) does not believe in a damnation or a Hell, per se, but a deprivation of Salvation. We believe that when people die, those who aren't assholes get to party as long as they wish at the moon base, which is on the moon, just in case you didn't know. Those who were assholes or unbelievers are stuck standing out the moon base, having to party outside, which sucks because they wouldn't get free condiments. But some things you might be thinking:
Why are you doing this?
To show the weak minds of people and their tendencies to latch onto moral assistance to give them comfort.
You're joking, right?
I am a buddhist, and I take my buddhist side seriously, though by all means I am merely having some fun with this.
How can I join?
Just pledge that you'll kick ass 100% more.
There has to be some catch.
Too lazy to make on, so nope.
What are the holidays?
Ah, you may make whatever holidays you want to skip work, or get out of chores.
But the Bible says...
This is not Christianity.
Do you have a bible?
Funny you should ask, I am writing a bible right now.
This is spam!
Really? Damn it.
JOIN TOTW NOW!
There, any questions?
0% Mass Suicides, 0% praying prerequisites, 0% Damnation, 100% Ass-kicking.
Basic, simple philosophy of my cult, er religion. *shifty look*
Unlike most religions, my cult (Ultra-Partyism, or TOTW) does not believe in a damnation or a Hell, per se, but a deprivation of Salvation. We believe that when people die, those who aren't assholes get to party as long as they wish at the moon base, which is on the moon, just in case you didn't know. Those who were assholes or unbelievers are stuck standing out the moon base, having to party outside, which sucks because they wouldn't get free condiments. But some things you might be thinking:
Why are you doing this?
To show the weak minds of people and their tendencies to latch onto moral assistance to give them comfort.
You're joking, right?
I am a buddhist, and I take my buddhist side seriously, though by all means I am merely having some fun with this.
How can I join?
Just pledge that you'll kick ass 100% more.
There has to be some catch.
Too lazy to make on, so nope.
What are the holidays?
Ah, you may make whatever holidays you want to skip work, or get out of chores.
But the Bible says...
This is not Christianity.
Do you have a bible?
Funny you should ask, I am writing a bible right now.
This is spam!
Really? Damn it.
JOIN TOTW NOW!
There, any questions?