NationStates Jolt Archive

So this guy goes to the Arby's drive through naked and masturbating, not once but twice. Second time he got caught. I guess jerking off at Arby's must have been loads of fun because he had to do it again. Second time he got caught. Isn't it rather unsanitary to eat a roast beef sandwich while touching one's self?

http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/news/060719/exposure.shtml

Instead of charging him with indecent exposure they should just enter him into this contest.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=17688&in_page_id=2
Warning: There's a picture of some dude's ass in the article.

Isn't it rather unsanitary to eat a roast beef sandwich while touching one's self?

Oh I dunno ... I masturbate with meat all the time.

Honestly, I don't think my day would be the same without a "DCD Obscure News of the Strange".

Instead of charging him with indecent exposure they should just enter him into this contest.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=17688&in_page_id=2
Warning: There's a picture of some dude's ass in the article.

Charity, eh? Hmm, instead of signing a check, I could do that!

Charity, eh? Hmm, instead of signing a check, I could do that!
No, you need to go to London and help out George Michael - he's getting desperate nowadays.

No, you need to go to London and help out George Michael - he's getting desperate nowadays.

I, alas, am not.

I, alas, am not.
Think of it as charity...

No, you need to go to London and help out George Michael - he's getting desperate nowadays.
Yeah. They were talking about him briefly on the Opie and Anthony show this morning. He was spotted in a park having some gay sex with a chubby, bald old guy. Why is he always doing guys in public areas like parks and crap?

DCD sure missed you buddy.

how would i ever get my news?

Think of it as charity...

I'll molest myself for charity, but to be molested by him? I have boundaries, and one of them is not to take it up the poop shoot by washed up 80s icons trawling parks. This policy has never steered me wrong in the past.

Plus, not being old, bald and fat, I doubt I'm his type.

I have boundaries, and one of them is not to take it up the poop shoot by washed up 80s icons trawling parks.

Now that's solid policy.

... and sig worthy.

Plus, not being old, bald and fat, I doubt I'm his type.
That's the part I don't understand. I'm 45, but I'm not bald or fat.

Nor do I drive around parks in a van with a stained mattress ready for George.

I'll molest myself for charity, but to be molested by him? I have boundaries, and one of them is not to take it up the poop shoot by washed up 80s icons trawling parks. This policy has never steered me wrong in the past.

Plus, not being old, bald and fat, I doubt I'm his type.

Reminds me of the David Hasselhoff incident from my youth...

*shudder*

Nevermind. :p

So this guy goes to the Arby's drive through naked and masturbating, not once but twice. Second time he got caught. I guess jerking off at Arby's must have been loads of fun because he had to do it again. Second time he got caught. Isn't it rather unsanitary to eat a roast beef sandwich while touching one's self?

http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/news/060719/exposure.shtml

What is it with you and threads about masturbation?

What is it with you and threads about masturbation?
Jerking off in public = funny. Or at least that's what I tried to tell the police.

What is it with you and threads about masturbation?

It's not like this thread was started by Minoriteeburg.

That's the part I don't understand. I'm 45, but I'm not bald or fat.

Nor do I drive around parks in a van with a stained mattress ready for George.

What point are you making? All the three on their own can be managable (and, indeed, I do have a thing for men who are 30+, 55- and baldness has never bothered me), but when combined old, bald, fat, trawling parks and having sex with George Michael is too much for even my brown eye to overlook.

to think that the culture society started in sanfran - bet euro types are pissed they didn't think of this first lol

:fluffle:

It's not like this thread was started by Minoriteeburg.

Where is he, I haven't seen him around in a while?

His threads keep me sane amongst all the war, famine and left/right bashing that goes on around here.

Jerking off in public = funny. Or at least that's what I tried to tell the police.

lmao. Keep up the good work DCD.

Where is he, I haven't seen him around in a while?

His threads keep me sane amongst all the war, famine and left/right bashing that goes on around here.


i am here!

ive been around. just havent been making as many threads. as i used to. been workin much more.

It's not like this thread was started by Minoriteeburg.

i have never started a masturbating thread either........yet;)

bet euro types are pissed they didn't think of this first lol

Someone's never been to Germany...

i have never started a masturbating thread either........yet;)

There's always plenty of semen though...

Reminds me of the David Hasselhoff incident from my youth...

*shudder*

Nevermind. :p


you mean the incident in the pool?

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a256/DruMaggoT/wooohasselhoff.gif

So this guy goes to the Arby's drive through naked and masturbating, not once but twice. Second time he got caught. I guess jerking off at Arby's must have been loads of fun because he had to do it again. Second time he got caught. Isn't it rather unsanitary to eat a roast beef sandwich while touching one's self?

http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/news/060719/exposure.shtml


Well he didn't think so. And although I'm not a guy don't ye jerk off for enjoyment anyway? I guess a public place just offers more fun?:confused:

There's always plenty of semen though...


well that i cant do anything about.



*EDIT* i need to continue making threads again... i miss doing so.

i am here!

ive been around. just havent been making as many threads. as i used to. been workin much more.

There he is!!!

*plants sloppy kiss on Minoriteeburgs' forehead*

you mean the incident in the pool?

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a256/DruMaggoT/wooohasselhoff.gif

I'd rather not talk about it. :p

Jerking off in public = funny. Or at least that's what I tried to tell the police.

They should try it before they judge. :)

There he is!!!

*plants sloppy kiss on Minoriteeburgs' forehead*


why thank you! :D

havent seen you in a while. how ya been?

I'd rather not talk about it. :p

i think we all know what happened. no need to talk about it.

So this guy goes to the Arby's drive through naked and masturbating, not once but twice. Second time he got caught. I guess jerking off at Arby's must have been loads of fun because he had to do it again. Second time he got caught. Isn't it rather unsanitary to eat a roast beef sandwich while touching one's self?

http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/news/060719/exposure.shtml
Back when i was Jolt-ipated, i forwarded this little ditty to Ruffy. Thought you might like it, on topic sorta ... with highlights ...:
*ahem*

http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/story/7942789p-7836216c.html
Behavior exposes man to multiple criminal charges
By KATIE PESZNECKER
Anchorage Daily News
Published: July 8, 2006
Last Modified: July 8, 2006 at 02:08 AM

An Anchorage man is charged with exposing himself and masturbating in four
different public places during a 30-minute spree early Friday.
..
When the judge set Newman's bail at $2,000 and added that he only be
released to a court-approved third-party custodian, Newman's mother asked
the judge why her son needed that supervision.

"Because I just ordered it," the judge said. "And because I think the
community needs protection."
..
Police say the first incident happened at 4:38 a.m. Friday, when a 24-hour
restaurant in the 5100 block of Arctic Boulevard called 911 to report that a
white man stood in the doorway of the business, exposed himself and
masturbated.

One restaurant employee told police this wasn't a first: The same man had
appeared a week earlier and done the same thing.

But by the time officers arrived, the suspect was gone.

The second event happened at 4:55 a.m. Employees at a 24-hour convenience
store in the 7500 block of the Old Seward Highway reported a similarly
described male doing the exact same thing. The man left, they said, in a
teal-green sedan.

At 5:04 a.m. -- just nine minutes later -- a woman told 911 dispatchers that
she woke up to see a man standing outside the window of her home in the 9700
block of Morningside Loop, with his pants open, touching himself.
..
In the last reported incident, at 5:11 a.m., people at a coffee shop in the
1000 block of East Dimond Boulevard reported a man masturbating behind the
store.

Police responded in time to find a green 1998 Plymouth Neon -- and Newman.
He was later identified by several witnesses as the person they had seen
exposing himself at the various locations, police said.
--

:D

Should this thread be merged with the "To spank, or not to spank?" thread?