NationStates Jolt Archive

We haven't had one of these in a while. This time we're going to hono(u)r two very well-known and sometimes high-strung posters. One is an ex-Marine with a post count as God's. The other is a bright young lady who'll both love you and kick your ass/arse, depending on the topic. We all love them, so let's show them.

For those of you who don't what the fuck a roast is, it is basically showing how much you love/admire/respect/etc. someone by saying saracastic, and often crude/profane/etc., comments about them. Keep it civil enough to keep the topic open, please.


NS General Roast in Hono(u)r of Eutrusca and Sinuhue
OPEN BAR!

Paid for by DynamiCorp, Your Generic, Canadian Drug Supplier!

Sinuhue is my friend, no sarcasm. I'll take a pass on the other, thanks.

I've always liked Sinuhue and hope she licks me too.

This isn't going to end well....

*gets popcorn*

Sinuhue is my friend, no sarcasm. I'll take a pass on the other, thanks.
Two posts into it and already putting a damper on things, my oh my...I dub thee...honorary "Thread Damper".

This isn't going to end well....

*gets popcorn*
Last roast ended well. We roasted Melkor and TInk last time.

*Swaps Psychotic Mongooses's popcorn for kettlecorn...because it is just that much better*

Bourbon or scotch? This is an outrage! I demand tequila, one shot for each of our fine friends.

And what's this about a roast? BBQ is the way to go. Mmmm. Barbecued Eutrusca with a side of Sinuhue. Now that's a balanced diet.

And what's this about a roast? BBQ is the way to go. Mmmm. Barbecued Eutrusca with a side of Sinuhue. Now that's a balanced diet.

I'd just stick with the Sinuhue, if I were you, the Eutrusca's past its prime.

*Swaps Psychotic Mongooses's popcorn for kettlecorn...because it is just that much better*
Do you have any seasoned salt?

I'd just stick with the Sinuhue, if I were you, the Eutrusca's past its prime.
I'd wondered where that smell was coming from... and here I was thinking it was the Atlantian Islands.

Do you have any seasoned salt?
*shoots load into hand*

You mean that?

Its time to get this party started!

Flaming pancakes for everyone!

I've always liked Sinuhue and hope she licks me too.
How incredible erotic of you.

w00t OPEN BAR!!Shift+1!!

*shoots load into hand*

You mean that?

oh dear, we're still on the 1st page and we're already at this level :(

Well what can I say … Eut the dirty old man of the forums … whats not to love about that?

In fact I have always thought of him as something along these lines
http://www.port88.freeserve.co.uk/dirty-old-man.jpg

*shoots load into hand*

You mean that?
Close enough.

*Pours onto popcorn*

Its time to get this party started!

Flaming pancakes for everyone!
*makes pig of self by eating three at once*

Let's see, one of the first things ever posted to me from Sinuhue was 'I'll jump down your throat all I want, espescially when you're wrong' followed by *removes boot from throat*. It was magical! ;)

I've had less of a chance to be attacked by Eut. I dread the trout.

Eutrusca walks a fine line between being crude, being a troll, and being completely overbearing... which is why everybody likes him, even when he doesn't succeed at walking the line. Actually, make that "especially when he doesn't succeed at walking the line".

*ba-dum-ching!* :)

*swaps alcohol with root beer*

Eut: You've been rather annoying at times, not to mention hold many views I will never agree with. Yet, you're still quite the good old chap.

Sinuhue: Now you, I like. A lot. Though we definitely would not always agree, you're the kind of person that you just have to like, if only for her intellect and her way of getting straight to the point on everything.

*clinks glass and sips root beer*

Well what can I say … Eut the dirty old man of the forums … whats not to love about that?

In fact I have always thought of him as something along these lines
http://www.port88.freeserve.co.uk/dirty-old-man.jpg

That's funny. I've always pictured Sinuhue that very same way.

What on earth inspired this...and why have you made Eutrusca my consort?

Let's see, one of the first things ever posted to me from Sinuhue was 'I'll jump down your throat all I want, espescially when you're wrong' followed by *removes boot from throat*. It was magical! ;)

I've had less of a chance to be attacked by Eut. I dread the trout.
Pansey!

That said, I have only seen Eut trout slap one (1) person. I forget who.

What on earth inspired this...and why have you made Eutrusca my consort?
Eww... did you have to use the word, "consort"?

That's funny. I've always pictured Sinuhue that very same way.
Yeah but I pictured her less bald and with a blond instead of a brunette

What on earth inspired this...and why have you made Eutrusca my consort?

You're kind of like Hades and Persephone... if Hades was too old to catch her.

Let's see, one of the first things ever posted to me from Sinuhue was 'I'll jump down your throat all I want, espescially when you're wrong' followed by *removes boot from throat*. It was magical! ;)

I've had less of a chance to be attacked by Eut. I dread the trout.
You must be hallucinating. I'd never say such a thing.

Well what can I say … Eut the dirty old man of the forums … whats not to love about that?

In fact I have always thought of him as something along these lines
http://www.port88.freeserve.co.uk/dirty-old-man.jpg
XD

What on earth inspired this...and why have you made Eutrusca my consort?
About a year ago we had the first roast. You two ahd tied to be the next roastees (I believe?), so I threw you two together. Besides it just makes it even more appropriate.

Also, have I ever made sense to you or anyone? ;)

That's funny. I've always pictured Sinuhue that very same way.
Oh I frickin' knew it...

...and it caused me to throw up in my mouth a little.

Yeah but I pictured her less bald and with a blond instead of a brunette
Oh my...now that was funny....I think I need to exit this thread...:D

Eww... did you have to use the word, "consort"?
I know, it's disgusting, that's why I'm so nauseous. The implication is definately there.

*walks up to stage*
*taps mic*

Well ever since I was a kid, only 8 years old, I'd look to Eut for adivce and help.

I remember one time, I looked at him and said "Hey, granpa, what colour was your hair when you were my age?" He smiled and said "I can't remember."

From his stories of hookin up with transexual hookers in Vietnam, to his debates on "USian", he is a great man, a great friend. So for him, I raise my glass of burbon and thank him.

And buddy, if your hearing aide isn't turned on, screw you, I aint repeating myself!

*wonders off to get drunk*

Oh I frickin' knew it...

...and it caused me to throw up in my mouth a little.

Get some of Atlantian Islands Seasoning Salt, it will take care of the bad taste in your mouth.

You're kind of like Hades and Persephone... if Hades was too old to catch her.
If hadies had priapism then yes

Get some of Atlantian Islands Seasoning Salt, it will take care of the bad taste in your mouth.
If not the bad taste in the forums.

Get some of Atlantian Islands Seasoning Salt, it will take care of the bad taste in your mouth.
It's better than horse-shit porridge and capitalism.

Oh my...now that was funny....I think I need to exit this thread...:D
:-D the point is to be funny even to you :) cause we luv ya

If hadies had priapism then yes

Now I just threw up a little.

Now I just threw up a little.
Good just the effect I was looking for …

Now where's Eut, the man of thw hour? His hooker's almost dead.

Well what can I say … Eut the dirty old man of the forums … whats not to love about that?

In fact I have always thought of him as something along these lines
http://www.port88.freeserve.co.uk/dirty-old-man.jpg

YAY! :D

Now where's Eut, the man of thw hour? His hooker's almost dead.

Eh, don't worry about it.

They're a dime a dozen.

Also, have I ever made sense to you or anyone? ;)

Hey! You've always made perfect sense to me!

YAY! :D
Found his weding video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpGJw2lcFsY&search=dirty%20old%20man

If hadies had priapism then yes
Why do you know what priapism is?

Here's a cake for Grandfather Time:

http://www.iansmith.co.uk/lotr/images/August7th/OldGitCake.jpg

Why do you know what priapism is?
Doesn't everyone?

Why do you know what priapism is?
Is it sad that I had to hear about it on a viagra commercial and google it to remember the word for it?

Doesn't everyone?
They will once they wiki it to get the joke.

Is it sad that I had to hear about it on a viagra commercial and google it to remember the word for it?
You never knew someone to try spanish fly when they were in college?

It stops being fun after about an hour, fellas.

It stops being fun after about an hour, fellas.
Kinda like "roasts".

Is it sad that I had to hear about it on a viagra commercial and google it to remember the word for it?
Nah, that is perfectly acceptable.

Smilies that remind me of Eutrusca:

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/grandpa.gif

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/ranting.gif

Smilie that reminds me of Sinuhue:

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/whips.gif

((or is that just wishful thinking? :p ))

Eutrusca was banned from the Roman Forum for flaming Julius Caesar.

Smilies that remind me of Eutrusca:

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/grandpa.gif

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/ranting.gif

Smilie that reminds me of Sinuhue:

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/whips.gif

((or is that just wishful thinking? :p ))
lol. those are excellent.

Eutrusca was banned from the Roman Forum for flaming Julius Caesar.
Ok, that made me chuckle:)

Eutrusca was banned from the Roman Forum for flaming Julius Caesar.

LMAO! :D

Smilies that remind me of Eutrusca:

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/grandpa.gif

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/ranting.gif

Smilie that reminds me of Sinuhue:

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/whips.gif

((or is that just wishful thinking? :p ))
The video in http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11432302&postcount=46 that post probably most reminds me of eut even more then the pic

I love the word 'git':D

I'd wondered where that smell was coming from... and here I was thinking it was the Atlantian Islands.
Hardy Harr Harr:rolleyes:
:p

Close enough.

*Pours onto popcorn*
Enjoy, its fresh.:)

Hardy Harr Harr:rolleyes:
:p
Oh please, it's giving me a migraine stooping to your level of humour...

The video in http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11432302&postcount=46 that post probably most reminds me of eut even more then the pic

I laughed at that. :)

Get some of Atlantian Islands Seasoning Salt, it will take care of the bad taste in your mouth.
It will cure what ails ya.:)

I laughed at that. :)
Me too the more I watch it the more it has to be him

If not the bad taste in the forums.
You seem to be ignoring that headache rather well here^.

You seem to be ignoring that headache rather well here^.
It follows me from thread to thread like a stalker, it seems.

*crawls onto table and starts singing "Sheeeess a brick hou--hou--house"*

Bartendor! Fetch me anouthr burboon!

*dances*

It will cure what ails ya.:)
It'll cure your cold and give you cancer.

*crawls onto table and starts singing "Sheeeess a brick hou--hou--house"*

Bartendor! Fetch me anouthr burboon!

*dances*
She is a brick house? And here I thought she was Canadian?

She is a brick house? And here I thought she was Canadian?
You do not knooow me good sir!!

It'll cure you're cold and give you cancer.
Isnt that what ails ya?....:p

It follows me from thread to thread like a stalker, it seems.
I hope it stalks you to the ends of the earth, beyond Hades, to the eternal pits of the enfernos of hell.:)

Isnt that what ails ya?....:p
Not anymore.

I hope it stalks you to the ends of the earth, beyond Hades, to the eternal pits of the enfernos of hell.:)
Oh you mean to Sinuhue house (it Is the house of 'sin')

I hope it stalks you to the ends of the earth, beyond Hades, to the eternal pits of the enfernos of hell.:)
Are those like the infernos of Hell, but poorly spelled?

I'm trembling.

Oh wait, that's just the coffee...

Or was it..

Are those like the infernos of Hell, but poorly spelled?

I'm trembling.

Oh wait, that's just the coffee...
No..dont jump to conclusions. The enfernos of Hell, are the next level, beyond the infernos.....that level is the one that awaits all people who have mentally insane and like to silence the oppositions opinion, you'd fit right in.:)

No..dont jump to conclusions. The enfernos of Hell, are the next level, beyond the infernos.....that level is the one that awaits all people who have mentally insane and like to silence the oppositions opinion, you'd fit right in.:)
Now, now, Ali (that's your new nickname, from me as a gift), don't drink too much or you'll wind up naked on the side of the road covered in broken glass and BBQ sauce.

Now, now, Ali (that's your new nickname, from me as a gift), don't drink too much or you'll wind up naked on the side of the road covered in broken glass and BBQ sauce.

I hate it when that happens. :(

Now, now, Ali (that's your new nickname, from me as a gift), don't drink too much or you'll wind up naked on the side of the road covered in broken glass and BBQ sauce.

Have you been reading my biography?

>.>

<.<

Have you been reading my biography?

>.>

<.<
And that was only the opening sentence.

Now, now, Ali (that's your new nickname, from me as a gift), don't drink too much or you'll wind up naked on the side of the road covered in broken glass and BBQ sauce.
Omg....my wildest fantasy! How did you know.:D

I sorta like that nickname...reminds me of a hot girl I used to know.;)

And that was only the opening sentence.
Wow that late … I was guessing it was the tilte

Bourbon OR Scotch?!?

That's like making me choose between my children. :(

You heartless bastard. :mad:

What a crappy roast.

At least the liquor is free, you'll never notice the taste

Wow that late … I was guessing it was the tilte
No, the title is My Life: How I Drugged a Llama and Made it My Aunt.

No, the title is My Life: How I Drugged a Llama and Made it My Aunt.


Thanks, now I won't be able to sleep for a week with that image in my head.

Eutrusca: You're old. If you're not careful you might fall...or something...You're over 21. You can buy beer. Buy me some beer before they take away your drivers license. And trust me, they're not going to take it away from you because you're old. They're going to take it away from you because you doubtlessly speed so fast that...umm...the roadrunner cannot catch up to you!

Sinuhue: You're from Canada. Land of Hockey and Moosesses. I know you have beer, all Canucks love beer. Give me your beer. Before we seal the northern border of the US to keep the polite people out. Not to say that you're polite, but...uhhmmm...yeah...I lost my train of thought.

(In case you haven't noticed, I've indulged in the open bar scotch! A drink for men so manly, they can feel comfortable whilst wearing skirts!)

Bourbon OR Scotch?!?

That's like making me choose between my children. :(

You heartless bastard. :mad:
Oh go write a book about it.

:p

Oh go write a book about it.

:p
The Sacrifice
And then the mean, horrible peoples of the NS came along, as I snuggled close to the beautiful bottles. I had just begun to experience the joy of both Scotch and Bourbon, a joy quite like that of a father who realizes his pride in his children upon their graduation from law school or something like that. When they came along. They demanded that I choose between the two! It was like I was forced to choose which one of my non-existent children I'd be allowed to keep. So I chose the Scotch, but I vowed in a secret oath, to find my other joyous companion, the Bourbon...

Sinuhue is both abnormal and original. She's ab-original!

If I thought there was any chance at all I wouldnt end up on the wrong end of a forumban I would love to.... but it seems Ive seen each of the roastees reporting this sort of thread mayhem in moderation enough times that I cannot. Doubly so as this seems to be a surprise to Sinuhue and probably to Eutrusca as well. I must regretfully decline this fine invitation.

If I thought there was any chance at all I wouldnt end up on the wrong end of a forumban I would love to.... but it seems Ive seen each of the roastees reporting this sort of thread mayhem in moderation enough times that I cannot. Doubly so as this seems to be a surprise to Sinuhue and probably to Eutrusca as well. I must regretfully decline this fine invitation.
Just because of this one.

Etrusca, Honorary Spam Forum Owner, if you report anyone for spamming in this thread, then we shall not only roast you in effigy but dump BBQ on you to keep the dust localized.

The Sacrifice
And then the mean, horrible peoples of the NS came along, as I snuggled close to the beautiful bottles. I had just begun to experience the joy of both Scotch and Bourbon, a joy quite like that of a father who realizes his pride in his children upon their graduation from law school or something like that. When they came along. They demanded that I choose between the two! It was like I was forced to choose which one of my non-existent children I'd be allowed to keep. So I chose the Scotch, but I vowed in a secret oath, to find my other joyous companion, the Bourbon...
I'd read that.

Bourbon OR Scotch?!?

That's like making me choose between my children. :(

You heartless bastard. :mad:
Doesn even mention Vodka.:(

Omg....my wildest fantasy! How did you know.:D

I sorta like that nickname...reminds me of a hot girl I used to know.;)

You like being a girl? :eek:

You like being a girl? :eek:
Nah, girls are much to likely to become feminists for his likings.

You like being a girl? :eek:
Hardly, I like girls, I like Ali, and the name reminds me of a hot girl, but I wouldnt want to be a girl.

Nah, girls are much to likely to become feminists for his likings.
Posi, I like you man. For two very good reasons.

1. You know me soooo well...and I couldnt have said the above^ better myself.

2. Your name reminds me of someone on the Miami Heat (my basketball team) and I keep thinking you are this HUGE nig that can totally ball out anyone on the court. :)

Posi, I like you man. For two very good reasons.

1. You know me soooo well...and I couldnt have said the above^ better myself.

2. Your name reminds me of someone on the Miami Heat (my basketball team) and I keep thinking you are this HUGE nig that can totally ball out anyone on the court. :)
STALKER!:)

Wait, I don't play for the Miami Heat.;)

Shit, I wasn't supposed to wink.:headbang:

STALKER!:)

Wait, I don't play for the Miami Heat.;)

Shit, I wasn't supposed to wink.:headbang:

Lol...James Posey..hes on the Heat now.;) http://grafika.rockets.e-basket.pl/pics/posey/posey02.jpg

Lol...James Posey..hes on the Heat now.;) http://grafika.rockets.e-basket.pl/pics/posey/posey02.jpg
Good God. You can see my budge in that pic.:)

Good God. You can see my budge in that pic.:)
Yeah, dude...'bout that...I've been meaning to tell you....you're packing extreame heat. And your running and sweating which means its in sport mode and its STILL that big. You're a inspiration to us all, Posi!

Last roast ended well. We roasted Melkor and TInk last time.

Man would that ever make a strange stew

I must say, I like Sinuhue's style quite a bit. Eutrusca and I rarely agree on anything, but he's a good egg at heart.

Oh, by the way gang, I placed black widow venom in all of the liquor. Just so ya know.

Eut and Sin, I drink to you once more! *sips root beer*

did they HAVE to have a roasting together?

*stays on the Sinuhue side of the room, standing against the wall and twiddling his thumbs hoping a guy from the Eutrusca side of the room asks him to dance.

Though I am a relative n00b, I shall attempt to add to the delightful steaming pile of fees that is this roast.

Eut: My nickname is Trout. I am honored that you have been me-slapping people.

Wait...a dirty old man who posts an incredible amount on some silly internet forum has been slapping people with me...Eugh.

*Sobs loudly into his scotch*

Anyhow, I respect you, even though you are a silly, old, nasty (in a purely sexual way, I assure you...;) ) man, though I refuse to agree with you on general principles.



Sinuhue: You are Sin. That is all.

Oh yeah, and as a debator, you are bleeding amazing, although quite the angry one. Especially for a Canadian. I thought you were all supposed to be polite, generous, and nice ALL THE TIME. In other words, freaks.

Guess you can't have it all.
Good luck, Canuck.

Evening Folks...

Look I dont want anyone to think that CPT Forrest wasnt a good soldier back in the Nam.
He was an officer dammit!!

When the air-conditioner in his private trailer broke, he fixed it himself dammit!

*rimshot*

I also think its only fair to say that his straight-shooter debate style can indeed move the earth....wich is good, becuase he usually has to talk his way out of a hole.

*rimshot*

I keeed! I keed!

Seriously, though...

as Eut can tell us, war is no picnic, and neither is politics.
Its the wise old man that can look at his country, and with a swelling patriotic pride, express his joy, and faith in the world around him:

"WTF, OVER?"

Thanks..I'll be here all week!

That's funny. I've always pictured Sinuhue that very same way.

Actually, you can see both of them on that picture. Though, who is who is anyones guess.

Yeah, dude...'bout that...I've been meaning to tell you....you're packing extreame heat. And your running and sweating which means its in sport mode and its STILL that big. You're a inspiration to us all, Posi!
Now you see why I like smaller breasts. All that has to go somewhere.

I am sure they are both well loved in their own right...

I don't know why, but I always pictured Eutrusca as being something like http://www.rsmith.org.uk/frasier/images/johnmahoney02.jpg :p . The beard surprised me when I first saw his pic.

We haven't had one of these in a while. This time we're going to hono(u)r two very well-known and sometimes high-strung posters. One is an ex-Marine with a post count as God's. The other is a bright young lady who'll both love you and kick your ass/arse, depending on the topic. We all love them, so let's show them.

For those of you who don't what the fuck a roast is, it is basically showing how much you love/admire/respect/etc. someone by saying saracastic, and often crude/profane/etc., comments about them. Keep it civil enough to keep the topic open, please.


NS General Roast in Hono(u)r of Eutrusca and Sinuhue
OPEN BAR!

Paid for by DynamiCorp, Your Generic, Canadian Drug Supplier!
Eutrusca was a Marine?:eek:
Ew yuck
*loss of respect*

I made a nice picture for Sinuhue (http://img96.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sinis3.png)to show how much I love Canadians as a whole:)


and Eut... he just is one horny bastard.

Who I respect despite our massive difference in belief:)

Sinuhue deserves her own thread, or at least a more worthy companion. Hence, no participation for me.

Eutrusca was a Marine?:eek:
Ew yuck
*loss of respect*
No, Army. Don't tell me you never saw his sig in all your time here?

I made a nice picture for Sinuhue (http://img96.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sinis3.png)to show how much I love Canadians as a whole:)


and Eut... he just is one horny bastard.

Who I respect despite our massive difference in belief:)

It's too early for the mental picture of a horny Eut and the offhand salaciousness of Sinuhue.

That, and there's probably not enough beer in the world to get Sinuhue to do that, nor is there enough Viagra for Eut.

Who?
.
.
.
.
.
.
:D

this is a pretty small roast......

this is a pretty small roast......
hehehe...."small roast"....hehehe....

this is a pretty small roast......
You're just not happy because the roast isn't glazed with semen.

You're just not happy because the roast isn't glazed with semen.
I can fix that.

*Fixes that*

They're both silly and I like them. Yaaay scotch! (or was it bourbon?)

Meh, I'll drink to them both tonight on my friend's birthday. Drink myself into a coma, that is.

*salutes*

hehehe...."small roast"....hehehe....


hehehehe

You're just not happy because the roast isn't glazed with semen.


its glazed in euts thong juice....mmm you can just smell the salty goodness.