NationStates Jolt Archive

YES, EVERYONE OF THESE IS TRUE. It may sound fake, but it's not.

10) Instead of freaking out when you dump change out of your pocket and half a dozen live rounds come with it, all the convenience store clerks proceed to ask if those are .38's or .357's and what loads you prefer.

9) If your SUV gets stuck in the mud, a couple of enthusiastic teenagers in a pick-up will be along shortly to help you get out. When their own stupidity gets them stuck as well, an older, wiser man with a bigger truck will come along and pull both vehicles out of the mud simultaneously.

8) The official beverage for nearly every college and university is Dr. Pepper. In fact, if you give the Baylor bears anything BUT Dr. Pepper, you're going to have a seriously frustrated bear on your hands.

7) "He needed killin'" has been an acceptable defense in court not once, not twice, but five times, and the defendant got off every time because the jury deemed it justifiable homocide.

6) Texas churches, especially Baptist churches, do things right. Is your family in mourning? Let's have a potluck dinner to make everybody feel better. Is your family celebrating? Let's have a potluck dinner to celebrate. Are we getting ready to send someone off to a mission trip? Let's have a potluck dinner to send 'em off. Did we add a new member to the church? Let's have a potluck dinner to welcome 'im. Did we just change a lightbulb out in the sanctuary? Let's have a potluck dinner just for the heck of it.

5) We invented chili and it's a lot better than that hot dog topping/spaghetti sauce they blasphemously call chili up north. Want to try some? Head to any county fair, gun show, or social gathering and there will be at least three vats of the stuff, and it's all good.

4) We banned Ozzy Osbourne for years when he literally pissed on our most sacred monument. Let's see how many other states continue to put with people's shit just because they're famous.

3) I can get fireworks, the real deal and not the crappy stuff, any time of the year and just about anywhere.

2) Our cops won't beat you up for being black, but they will smack you around a few times for cussing out your old lady.

1) We only get rain two or three times a year, but when it comes it makes up for the rest of the year. How many times have we have the 'storm of the century' since the late 90's?

Ten reasons why you love Texas...and ten reasons why I might steer clear of it.

Texas is too bland for my tastes.

I love Texas because it's reeeeeaallllly far away from California

YES, EVERYONE OF THESE IS TRUE. It may sound fake, but it's not.

10) Instead of freaking out when you dump change out of your pocket and half a dozen live rounds come with it, all the convenience store clerks proceed to ask if those are .38's or .357's and what loads you prefer.

So people with guns often also have ammunition. That sounds more like common sense than a reason why Texas is awesome.

9) If your SUV gets stuck in the mud, a couple of enthusiastic teenagers in a pick-up will be along shortly to help you get out. When their own stupidity gets them stuck as well, an older, wiser man with a bigger truck will come along and pull both vehicles out of the mud simultaneously.

That doesn't sound like it would be restricted to Texas, really. Anyway, how is this a reason why Texas is so good anyway? Cars can get stuck in mud and pulled out again anywhere with sufficient amounts of mud.

7) "He needed killin'" has been an acceptable defense in court not once, not twice, but five times, and the defendant got off every time because the jury deemed it justifiable homocide.

How on earth did they get away with that? "He needed killin'" shouldn't be a defence anywhere. I fail to see how a double whammy of glorifying murder and a fucked up legal system makes Texas a better rather than a worse place to live.

6) Texas churches, especially Baptist churches, do things right. Is your family in mourning? Let's have a potluck dinner to make everybody feel better. Is your family celebrating? Let's have a potluck dinner to celebrate. Are we getting ready to send someone off to a mission trip? Let's have a potluck dinner to send 'em off. Did we add a new member to the church? Let's have a potluck dinner to welcome 'im. Did we just change a lightbulb out in the sanctuary? Let's have a potluck dinner just for the heck of it.

Meh. This looks good, unlike the rest of this list.

4) We banned Ozzy Osbourne for years when he literally pissed on our most sacred monument. Let's see how many other states continue to put with people's shit just because they're famous.

This seems a little over the top. A heavy fine, yes. But banning him from the entire state?

2) Our cops won't beat you up for being black, but they will smack you around a few times for cussing out your old lady.

So you don't just enjoy getting away with murder, you're also a fan of police brutality. And for exercising the right to free speech, too. Sure, its bad to verbally abuse people, but having the police beat the shit out of them, and then listing it as a reason why your state is so great? Sick.

1) We only get rain two or three times a year, but when it comes it makes up for the rest of the year. How many times have we have the 'storm of the century' since the late 90's?

So you either have blistering heat or torrential rain all year round. This explains a lot.

Well, having looked down the list I can see why you like it. A Bible in every house, a gun in every hand, and a bullet in every communist.

Shouldn't this be "ten reasons to never Texas in your life..?" I'd get better homocide justice in Iraq!

The good thing about that is, you're going to stay in Texas and not going anywhere. :D

7) "He needed killin'" has been an acceptable defense in court not once, not twice, but five times, and the defendant got off every time because the jury deemed it justifiable homocide.
This is supposed to be a good thing? There is no justifiable homocide.

Though I do like the sound of the potluck dinner.

Ten reasons why you love Texas...and ten reasons why I might steer clear of it.

Pretty easy from across an ocean.
;)

There's just too much hype about Texas. I could never go there.

Now a place like Delaware or Maine... probably have more fun someplace like that - no reputation to live up to. Plus the lobster in Maine is great.

Yep. Yay Texas.

The place that hired G.W.

Yay indeed.

How on earth did they get away with that? "He needed killin'" shouldn't be a defence anywhere. I fail to see how a double whammy of glorifying murder and a fucked up legal system makes Texas a better rather than a worse place to live.
Because the people of Texas are so good and Christian that the Fifth Commandment doesn't apply to them. :rolleyes:

This is supposed to be a good thing? There is no justifiable homocide.
Though I do like the sound of the potluck dinner.
Really? Even self defense?

*snip


Too be honest, not all of those would be deemed positive. I have a couple better reasons, in no particular order:

-The humidity is practically at zero percent all year round, so instead of it being hot, wet and sticky here, it is just hot.

-The churches are indeed nice.

-Around 60% of the year, there is not a cloud in the sky (no rain either, but I am sticking to the positive)

-There is very little allergy causing plants, with the exception of around Austin and San Antonio.

-The Texas intercoastal waterway is supposed to be very nice.

-If you like urban areas, go up around Dallas/ Fort Worth, one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the southwest, and it is much nicer (for the most part) than cities like Atlanta or such.

-If you like Plains, go to Central Texas near San Saba, where there are miles of ranchland.

-If you like woodlands, there are many great camping cities near San Antonio

-You are alot closer to Shreveport or Las Vegas than if you lived in the NE ;)

-Tornadoes are not all that prevalant if you live away from the Panhandle :p, plus the climate around D/FW is at the wrong side of the air pressure scale for them.

There's just too much hype about Texas.Oh, they're just jealous because unlike Bavaria, they don't have their own Conservative Party on a national level. ;)

YES, EVERYONE OF THESE IS TRUE. It may sound fake, but it's not.
While I am for tolerant free speech, don't be surprised if you get closed down by the Mods over "flamebait."

Really? Even self defense?
Understandable, but not justifiable. Some punishment would be necessary, but of course less than for first degree murder.

This seems a little over the top. A heavy fine, yes. But banning him from the entire state?

Not from the entire State, just San Antonio banned him.

Too be honest, not all of those would be deemed positive. I have a couple better reasons, in no particular order:

-The humidity is practically at zero percent all year round, so instead of it being hot, wet and sticky here, it is just hot.

Not all over the state, though. The coastal areas, along with the Rio Grande Valley, are some of the most humid in the entire country. How else do you think such gigantic watermelons are possible? :p

-The churches are indeed nice.

I wouldn't know; I've never been. :D

-Around 60% of the year, there is not a cloud in the sky (no rain either, but I am sticking to the positive)

Again, it's not like that in the coastal areas. The Rio Grande Valley is less cloudy than the coast, but it still has plenty of clouds year round.

-There is very little allergy causing plants, with the exception of around Austin and San Antonio.

Again, the coastal areas are different. Corpus Christi and Houston are allergen hotbeds.

-The Texas intercoastal waterway is supposed to be very nice.

'Tis. The stretch near South Padre Island is easily the best part of it.

-If you like urban areas, go up around Dallas/ Fort Worth, one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the southwest, and it is much nicer (for the most part) than cities like Atlanta or such.

...Dallas? Why? It's very bland and way too conservative. Houston has more problems, but the inner city has much more to do, and the satellite towns/suburbs aren't totally lame.

-If you like Plains, go to Central Texas near San Saba, where there are miles of ranchland.

Yeah. :p

-If you like woodlands, there are many great camping cities near San Antonio

Don't forget Natural Bridge Caverns and "The Cave with No Name" if you like natural stuff, as both are close to San Antonio.

-You are alot closer to Shreveport or Las Vegas than if you lived in the NE ;)

I never saw anything special about Shreveport, but Las Vegas is another thing. It's less than a 20-hour drive, so it's pretty close.

-Tornadoes are not all that prevalant if you live away from the Panhandle :p, plus the climate around D/FW is at the wrong side of the air pressure scale for them.

True, but major thunderstorms (complete with hail) are all over the place. Nasty stuff, but not as bad as tornadoes.

Too be honest, not all of those would be deemed positive. I have a couple better reasons, in no particular order:

-The humidity is practically at zero percent all year round

Where?!?

Houston is one of the few places in the world that can have 100% humidity and it *not* be raining. The humidity in Houston doesn't dip below around 85% except during a couple of weeks in late January when it's "winter" (which, to us, means it may be 65 degrees).

Where?!?

Houston is one of the few places in the world that can have 100% humidity and it *not* be raining. The humidity in Houston doesn't dip below around 85% except during a couple of weeks in late January when it's "winter" (which, to us, means it may be 65 degrees).

Corpus Christi is even more humid. If you've ever been there, you know that Houston's smog is small shit in comparison. I mean, it's on a bay and a lot of canals (and a river), sure, but it has a lot of refineries and a huge Reynolds aluminum plant across the bay. It's almost too hazy sometimes.

And it's the windiest city in the country, too. Even when it's 100 degrees outside, it's not unbearable. It's actually pretty comfortable.

A Bible in every house, a gun in every hand, and a bullet in every communist.
Hells yeah!

YES, EVERYONE OF THESE IS TRUE. It may sound fake, but it's not.

You almost make me want to leave Georgia. But not quite.

Where?!?

Houston is one of the few places in the world that can have 100% humidity and it *not* be raining. The humidity in Houston doesn't dip below around 85% except during a couple of weeks in late January when it's "winter" (which, to us, means it may be 65 degrees).
Probably El Paso. If I were to go and live in Texas, it'd be tough to find a better spot.

As an interesting sidenote, I was yold by someone that whilst Texas is considered one of the most conservative states in the US, the city of Austin is considered one of the most Liberal. Is that true or is someone bullshitting me?

Some punishment would be necessary, but of course less than for first degree murder.

What? If your life is threatened you have to have right to defend yourself.

Oh, they're just jealous because unlike Bavaria, they don't have their own Conservative Party on a national level. ;)

Nah, they don't need their own, they've just been taking over the current conservative party.

Anyway, the only thing that I really like about Texas is that Texans are proud of being Texan. That, and their attitude about gun control.

I love Texas because it's reeeeeaallllly far away from California

North Carolina is even farther. :)

And you still have the death penalty! Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

Where?!?

Houston is one of the few places in the world that can have 100% humidity and it *not* be raining. The humidity in Houston doesn't dip below around 85% except during a couple of weeks in late January when it's "winter" (which, to us, means it may be 65 degrees).



Well, Houston's on the coast, so I guess I should expect that, but it is not so humid inland.

10 Reasons New York is better then Texas

10) No Matter what, New York is an hour ahead of you guys.

9) No one gets stuck in the mud in New York, thats what we built roads for.

8) New York has more landmarks in one Borough than Texas has in its state. When the world thinks of America do they think of the Alamo? Shit no. They think The Empire State Building, The Chrystler Building, The World Trade Center and most of all the Statue of Liberty.

7)"He needed Killing" will land you in a correctional facility for the rest of your life.

6) Doesn't matter what it says in the textbooks, The United States of America is run out of the city of New York.

5) We have invented so much food that people eat New York food without knowing it. The Hotdog, The Hamburger, Corned Beef and Cabbage, Pizza (real pizza not the kind the serve in Italy), The Ice Cream Cone, General Tso's Chicken, and Pad Thai were all invented in New York City.

4) When people mess with the USA, they don't mess with texas. Not because of your lame "Don't mess with Texas!" bumper stickers, but because really, no one else would care if they bombed Texas.

3) We have all our fingers and thumbs thanks to Fireworks bans.

2) Our cops wont beat the crap out of you period.

1) We get all four seasons, lovely weather year round. You can take any holiday or season and tag "in New York" at the end of it, and it sounds lovely. "Christmas in New York" "Spring in New York" "Fall in New York" see?

Let the flame war commence!

2) Our cops wont beat the crap out of you period.
Not sure about this one, but I agree with the other 9. Now I just need to start my "Top 10 Reasons Why Los Angeles Is Better Than New York And Therefore Much Better Than Texas."

I'll admit New York has problems, but its still probably the best in the country. Besides, LAPD doesn't get to talk down to people about police brutality after Rodney King :p

The Uk kicks the ass of any state you wish to mention, and is probably a little smaller.

Texas was where Office Space was filmed and has one of the fastest growing financial services industries in the US...I'm sold on them, since that's where I'm going to end up working.

Liasia']The Uk kicks the ass of any state you wish to mention, and is probably a little smaller.

Oh yes

I'll admit New York has problems, but its still probably the best in the country. Besides, LAPD doesn't get to talk down to people about police brutality after Rodney King :p
I remember there was a song during the OJ Trial, and I wish I could remmber all the words. It sounded like the Oscar Meyer bologna song (You know, "my bologna has a first name), and the last line said "Cause LAPD has a way with OJ Simpson's DNA."

Liasia']The Uk kicks the ass of any state you wish to mention, and is probably a little smaller.
Yes, but to enter the contest you must first concede that you are the 52nd state, behind our 51st Canada.

Yes, but to enter the contest you must first concede that you are the 52nd state, behind our 51st Canada.
Suits me *nods*

Yes, but to enter the contest you must first concede that you are the 52nd state, behind our 51st Canada.
That's right! They are! Damn, I need a raise -- let's start collecting tax dollars from them, too. :D