NationStates Jolt Archive

*The names used in this script are only characters and do not necessarilty represent the actual posters.

~SETTING: GENERAL FORUM, 2006.Alansyism pulls himself out of a dumpster and wipes the dust off of his tuxedo. Beeker then falls out of a tree and lands next to him.~


Alansyism:
It's been a year or so

Beeker:
It was so very long ago

Both:
That we came together
And to see whether
We could make a NS show!

SalusaSecondus:
Though most are gone
They have now moved on

The Noble Men:
The writers have left here

Alansyism:
Because of that I fear
This will be quite shitty
Not in the least bit pretty

All:
But it's time for a NS show!

Czardas:
We may all be engrates

Pure Metal:
Have low charging rates

Jesussaves:
It's time for Nationstates
To have a musical sequel

N00b # 4:
The mods will be in it

Fass:
It'll be a piece of shit
Because most are gone
And we're out of touch

All:
But it's time for a NS show

Alansyism?:
Why are we bitching now?

Beeker:
Does it matter anyhow?

The Red Arrow:
This one will be quite short
I am very sad to report

Commando2:
But it'll have only four songs
And they won't be very long
But let's start to write again

All:
But who gives a fuck
With a shred of luck
We'll have this done
And many people will view
NationStates: The Musical...2!
It's time for a sequel...noooow
-------------------------------------
Who wants to help?

[/cheesy high school play]

Dobbsworld:
I'd help
I'd help
I really would

Neo K:
But?

Dobbsworld:
But what?
But what?

Neo K:
But why wont you?

Dobbsworld:
Because some **** would report me--

All:
To the mods!
To the mods!
To the mods!

You're hired!

You're hired!
*dances*

I'd like to audition for the role of Phantom of NS General.

*Sings to the tune of "Music of the Night" from Phantom of the Opera:



Nighttime falls, and I am waiting,
while the flamers keep debating.

Suddenly, all sense is
gone and a fight commences.

Not slowly or gently do trolls post here
Grasp that topic and hijack it

Turn your face away
for it will soon be day
Turn your thoughts away
from the monitor's unfeeling light

Don't listen to the bitching of the night.

It is far worse than you imagined
in your darkest dreams
Purge all logic from your head
give up the life you knew before
Close your eyes,
and check your brain at the door.

And you'll live as you never lived before.

Softly, deftly, words shall surround you
Feel it, hear it, closing in around you
Screaming in your mind,
let your fantasies unwind

Try to resist but you cannot fight
The darkness of the btching of the night.

Let your mind start a journey
through a strange new world
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before
This place will steal your soul, it won't let you be.

Only then can you belong to me.

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Flame me, troll me, savor each sensation

Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of the bitching of the night.

The mods alone can make my song take flight

And stop the bitching of the night.

*bows*

-snip-
I'm genuinely amazed that you wrote that.

Maineiacs, you're hired. If you can write lyrics like that, then you get a trailer.

Maineiacs, you're hired. If you can write lyrics like that, then you get a trailer.


*w00t!*

*tags up the thread*

I'd like to perform an oldie. I'm singing but I'm mostly into dancing, so if you need a dancer...

One, two, three, four!

Come spam with me, lets spam lets spam away
If you can use, some exotic booze
Theres a bar in the thread on bombay
Come spam with me, we'll spam we'll spam away

Come spam with me, lets post-whore down to Peru
In Lama land, theres a one man band
And he'll toot his flute for you
Come spam with me, well flood the thread in the blue

Once I get you up there, where the air is rarefied
We'll just glide, starry anime eyed
Once I get you up there, I'll be holding you so near
You may here, angels cheer - because we're spamming together

Weather wise it's such a lovely day
You just say the words, and well beat the birds
Down to NS General bay
It's perfect, under a spamming moon - they say
Come spam with me, we'll spam we'll spam away

*Tapdances furiously*

:(

You cut my songs...

The noob walks warily down the street,
With the post count way down low
Aint no sound but the sound of his leet,
Statistics ready to go
Are you ready, are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the flame posts rip
To the sound of the beat

Another one gets the DEAT
Another one gets the DEAT
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one gets the DEAT
Hey, I'm gonna report you too
Another one gets the DEAT

How do you think Im going to get along,
Who will I mock, when you're gone?
Rebutting you took everything that I had,
And then you had to go and spam

Are you happy, are you satisfied
How long can you stand the heat
Out of the doorway the Flame posts rip
To the sound of the DEAT


Chorus

Another one gets the DEAT
Another one gets the DEAT
Another one gets the DEAT
Another one gets the DEAT
There are plenty of ways you can beat a man
And bring him to the ground
You can troll him
You can flame him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When hes down
But Im ready, yes Im ready for you
Im standing on my own leet
Out of the doorway the flame posts rip
Repeating the sound of the DEAT

*Shrug*

Thirty-two feet per second I increase
As the exponents will multiply
I'll never stop to look back behind me
Cutting through the bright blue sky
And this is how it's meant to be
Untethered I will soar
I'll barrel towards the Earth below
It's what I was made for
Hulking, smashing, I come crashing
nothing like when I was small
I am unstoppable
I am the cannonball
That feeble coward that you knew
Has undergone an overhaul
I am unstoppable
I am the cannonball

*looks around, shrugs and plays Electric Light Orchestra tunes on violin*

I'd like to perform an oldie. I'm singing but I'm mostly into dancing, so if you need a dancer...

One, two, three, four!

Come spam with me, lets spam lets spam away
If you can use, some exotic booze
Theres a bar in the thread on bombay
Come spam with me, we'll spam we'll spam away

Come spam with me, lets post-whore down to Peru
In Lama land, theres a one man band
And he'll toot his flute for you
Come spam with me, well flood the thread in the blue

Once I get you up there, where the air is rarefied
We'll just glide, starry anime eyed
Once I get you up there, I'll be holding you so near
You may here, angels cheer - because we're spamming together

Weather wise it's such a lovely day
You just say the words, and well beat the birds
Down to NS General bay
It's perfect, under a spamming moon - they say
Come spam with me, we'll spam we'll spam away

*Tapdances furiously*

Hey, I know that song! :D

Think of me, think of me typing
In the pale moonlight
Imagine me, rezzing up nations
Halfway through the night

I'd rather be a helpful mod you see
And set a poster gently right
But if you charge, flames a-blazing
You'll see this Kat can bite!

Think of all the spam and pr0n I've seen,
in all my time of helping keep Gen'ral clean!

Think of me, sending out warnings late into the night
Imagine me, seeking out multies, and stopping forum fights
When you've gone to bed, before you sleep,
Just have a kindish thought for me
Maybe tonight it's quiet... and I sleep before three!

Spammery

Daylight
See the spam in the General
And a thread that is fading
All threads whither away
Like the General
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am wasting my life away . . .

Midnight
Not a sound from the posters
Has the Thread lost her spammery?
She is waiting alone
In the forum
The withered words collect at my feet
And the thread begins to moan

Spammery
All alone in the forum
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the spammery live again

Daylight
I must post for the sunrise
I must think of a new line
And I musn't cave in
When the spam comes
Tonight will be a spammery too
And a new thread will begin

Burnt out ends of trollish threads
The stale cold smell of irony
The sarcasm dies, another night is over
Another post is spamming

Touch me
It's so easy to deceive me
All alone with the spammery
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what interweb is

Look
A new thread has begun

'Fass' (to the tune of 'Flash Gordon' by Queen)

Fass, ah-ha, Swedish homophiliac
Fass, ah-ha, alway more sarcastic words
Fass, ah-ha, biting irony
Fass, ah-ha, he would hate this song you know

Yeah, I know, it's rubbish. But then, so was the song on which it's based (you'd think song writers would know more about stress and rhythm).

Londim: You know you want me....go of course you do...What do you mean you don't want me?! That's it I'm gonna give your face such a beating...

Tonight I am ready to battle
Tonght I will beat you in a fight
Tonight a river of blood will flow
And you will moan

Tomorrow you will cry
As in a hospital bed you lie
With wires and bandages
and eating raw cabbages
I will make you cry


*That's the end of my audition. If I get the job then Huzzah if not then Screw You:p

[operatic voice]

Minoriteeburg:

Its spam! Its spam!
Everywhere, all around, all I see is spam!
In images, In text, from one thread to the next
It just won't stop, It just keeps going,
At a steady pace with no signs of slowing

Spam Is everywhere i seeeeeeeeeee!
It is annoying the shit out of meeeeeeeeee!
Can't it at least be funny? or happy?

NO! NO! NO! and NO!Its just mindless,thoughtless, mind-numbing, trolling spammmmmmmmm!


FD & Cluichstan: (background vocals)

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!(continuous)


Minoriteeburg:

Maybe we can join together and fight this while we can,
We must put an end to all this spam!

Ruffy:

What if we get rid of all the emo noobs?

Minoriteeburg:

That would include you, you silly boob :eek: :D


Maybe we can join together and fight this while we can,
We must put an end to all this spam!

all this spammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....


WE MUST PUT AN END TO ALL THIS SPAM!



----------------------------------


there i tried.......

Can you hear the flames fernando?
I remember long ago another forum fight like this
In the firelight fernando
You were humming to yourself and softly flamebaiting a noob
I could hear the distant rants
And sounds of whinging coming from moderation

They were closer now fernando
Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally
I was so afraid fernando
We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to fly
And Im not ashamed to say
The roar of trolls and flamers almost made me cry

There was something in the forum that night
The Mods were right, fernando
They were DEATing there for you and me
For liberty, fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando

Now we're old and grey fernando
And since many years I havent seen a keyboard in your hand
Can you hear the flames fernando?
Do you still recall the frightful night when we spammed Prussian Blue?
I can see it in your eyes
How proud you were to fight for freedom in this land

There was something in the forum that night
The Mods were right, fernando
They were DEATing there for you and me
For liberty, fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando

There was something in the forum that night
The Mods were right, fernando
They were DEATing there for you and me
For liberty, fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando
Yes, if I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando.

Okay, here's the plot: A new poster, Rheumatica, comes to the forums, but is at first insulted in General. He is banned by the mods, afterwords he goes to the wicked RP forum. He then sees the horrors there and returns to General and becomes a famous poster.

Hey, I know that song! :D
As well you should :D It's kinda your song isn't it... :P

There are a lot of great songs here, mind! I'm impressed.
How about this one then?
The 'board is alive with the sound of fluffles
With topics that's been debated for a thousand years
The threads fill my heart with the sound of fluffles
My heart wants to spam every thread it nears

My fingers want to type like the wings of the birds
that rise from the lake to the trees
My mind wants to scream like an eagle that flies
when people debate sleaze
To laugh like a brook when trolls trip and fall over
arguments without any sway
To sing through the night like a lark when it's the flamers who pay

I go to the 'board when my heart is lonely
I know I will read what's been said before
My eyes will be blessed with the sight of fluffles
And I will spam once more

Yesterday
Yesterday, all those flamers seemed so far away
Now it look as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, This thread aint half of what it used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
oh, yesterday came suddenly

Why she had to flame I don't know, she called me gay
She said something wrong, now she longs for yesterday

Yesterday, Debate was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
oh, I believe in yesterday

Why she had to spam I don't know, she wouldn't stop
I said not one thing, now I long for her to stop

Yesterday, debate was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
oh, I believe in yesterday, Mm
NS General Land
In the town where I was born,
Lived a man who sailed the 'nets,
And he told us of his life,
In the land of General forums.
So we sailed on to the sun,
Till we found the sea of Flame,
And we lived beneath the spam,
In our NS General land.
We all live in NS General land,
NS General land,NS General land,
We all live in NS General land,
NS General land, NS General land,
And our friends are all aboard,
Many more of them live next door, (out RPing)
And the n00b begins to flame.
We all live in NS General land,
NS General land,NS General land,
We all live in NS General land,
NS General land, NS General land,
As we live a life of ease,
Everyone of us has all we need,
Sky of spam and sea of flame,
In our NS General land.
We all live in NS General land,
NS General land,NS General land,
We all live in NS General land,
NS General land, NS General land
horrible, yes, but original
Mod Child
Well I stand up next to a flamer
And I ban it down, with the edge of my hand
Well I stand up next to a spammer
And I DEAT it down, with the edge of my hand
Well I pick up all the pieces and make an n00b
Might even raise a little hell
cause I'm a mod child, mod child
Lord knows I'm a mod child
I want to say one more last thing
I didnt mean to ban up all your sweet time
Ill give it right back to ya one of these days
Hahaha
I said I didnt mean to ban up all your sweet time
Ill give it right back one of these days
Oh yeah
If I dont meet you no more in this thread then uh
Ill meet ya on the next one
And dont be late
Dont be late
cause Im a mod child mod child
Lord knows Im a mod child
Hey hey hey
Im a mod child baby
I dont take no for an answer
heh. Jimi Hendrix in a musical
(voodoo child, for those that cant tell)

Bad debate tactics
Bad debate tactis are touching my soul
I know what I want but I just dont know
How to, go about gettin it
Tactic sweet tactic,
Drops from my fingers, fingers
Bad debate tactics are catchin my soul

Woman so weary, the sweet cause in vain
You debate love, you hate love
Its all the same
When its, when its over, mama
Debate, sweet Debate
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Bad debate tactics are a frustrating mess
Well, I think Ill go turn myself off,
And go on down
All the way down
Really aint no use in me hanging around
In your kinda scene
Debate, sweet Debate
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Bad debate tactics are a frustrating mess
Hendrix's manic depression


well, now that i'm eliminated :D

Spamerstar


Every time I see the forum
I don't understand
Why the flames and spamming
Get so out of hand
Third time for this topic
It's as if it was planned
Now why can't they stay on topic
And make this arguement end?

If the mods see that flaming
You might lose your whole nation
All because of pettiness and poor communication

Don't you get me wrong (Don't you get me wrong)
Don't you get me wrong (Don't you get me wrong)
Don't you get me wrong (Don't you get me wrong)
Don't you get me wrong (Don't you get me wrong)

Only want to know (Only want to know)
Only want to know (Only want to know)
Only want to know (Only want to know)
Only want to know (Only want to know)

Spamerstar, spamerstar
Will you get DEATed before you get far?
Spamerstar, spamerstar
Will you get DEATed before you get far?
Spamerstar, spamerstar
Who in the hell do you think you are?
Spamerstar, spamerstar
Who in the hell do you think you are?

Tell me what you think
About the mods at the top
Now who'd you think among them all
Was the pick of the crop?
TG is he where it's at?
Does he know where you are?
Does Kat know all and see all
Or was that just PR?
Did you mean to make that post?
Was that a mistake or
Were you hoping all your ranting
Would be an attention getter?

(Don't you get me wrong) Don't you get me wrong
(Don't you get me wrong, now) Don't you get me wrong
(Don't you get me wrong) Don't you get me wrong
(Don't you get me wrong, now) Don't you get me wrong

(Only want to know) Only want to know
(Only want to know, now) Only want to know
(Only want to know) Only want to know
(Only want to know, now) I only want to know

Spamerstar, spamerstar
Will you get DEATed before you get far?
Spamerstar, Spamerstar
Will you get DEATed before you get far?
Spamerstar, Spamerstar
Who in the hell do you think you are?
Spamerstar, Spamerstar
Who in the hell do you think you are?

*chorus repeats until fade*

*Continues utter amazement at effort going into this*

I know a dark, secluded place
A place where you don't show your face
A flame, a Mod, away you race
I'm haunting NationStates today, ole!

All you see are pics of pets
Watch liberals fight with aged vets
See noobs post spam, and make your bets
Will they stay at NationStates, no way, ole!

On AOL chat boards or anywhere you go
You'll run into just about everyone you know
But if you go to the board that I am thinking of
You will be free
To chat with me
And show Max your LOVE...

Just sign on now, type fast or slow
Behave or else you'll have to go
Once DEATED you will never know
Who's here on Nationstates, hooray! Ole!

I'll be a backup singer. OR a Vontrap child.

Can you hear the flames fernando?
I remember long ago another forum fight like this
In the firelight fernando
You were humming to yourself and softly flamebaiting a noob
I could hear the distant rants
And sounds of whinging coming from moderation

They were closer now fernando
Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally
I was so afraid fernando
We were young and full of life and none of us prepared to fly
And Im not ashamed to say
The roar of trolls and flamers almost made me cry

There was something in the forum that night
The Mods were right, fernando
They were DEATing there for you and me
For liberty, fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando

Now we're old and grey fernando
And since many years I havent seen a keyboard in your hand
Can you hear the flames fernando?
Do you still recall the frightful night when we spammed Prussian Blue?
I can see it in your eyes
How proud you were to fight for freedom in this land

There was something in the forum that night
The Mods were right, fernando
They were DEATing there for you and me
For liberty, fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando

There was something in the forum that night
The Mods were right, fernando
They were DEATing there for you and me
For liberty, fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando
Yes, if I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, fernando.

Oh shit! Best song evAR!

Thought I'd have a crack:

Hello general, my old friend,
I’ve come to talk with you again,
Because a idea softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the idea that was planted in my brain
Still remains
I want to talk about it.

In restless threads I walked alone
Narrow screens of 32bit,
Beneath the halo of a desk lamp,
I turned my collar to the pr0n and spam
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A brand new thread
That split the night
And caught my interested eyes.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand posters, maybe more.
People talking without listening,
People hearing without speaking,
People writing posts that voices never share
And no one dares
Question the rulings of Kat.

Fools said I, you do not know
Ignorance like a cancer grows.
Hear my posts that I might teach you,
Take my points that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of general

And the generalites bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the mods flashed out their warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said, the words of the mods
Are written in the FAQs
And sticky rules page.
And debated in moderation.

To the tune of The Who's _Tommy_ "We're Not Gonna Take It"

[Spammer: ]

Welcome to the boards,
I guess you all know why you're here -
I am a spammer and I came onboard this year -
If you want to read this board, you've got to read my crap -
And deal with my pr0n posts
And all my 'l337 garbage
You know, it's all "processed pork!"

Hey you, roleplayers,
So sorry, I've messed you up -
Hey you, in your regions,
"Come on and join us!"
Hey all you political posters,
don't try to shut me up
'Cause you're not gonna stop me any old way,
Although you think you must...

[Forumites: ]

We're not gonna take it
We're not gonna take it
We're not gonna take it
We're not gonna take it,

We're not gonna take it,
Never did and never will
We're not gonna take it -
Gonna block it,
Gonna report it -
Let's ignore it better still!

[Spammer: ]

Now you can't hear anything
Through all the crap I spew -
You can't post either,
Your screen's all filled -
You can't read nothing
And my sig makes the deal
Here comes another post to mess up
Your very own machine!

[Moderators: ]

We're not gonna take it
We're not gonna take it
We're not gonna take it
We're not gonna take it,

We're not gonna take it,
Never did and never will,
Don't want no more sick pictures
And as far as we can tell

We ain't gonna take you
Never did and never will -
Gonna BAN YOU
Gonna DEET YOU
LET'S FORGET YOU BETTER STILL!

[Spammer: ]

See me, hear me, read me, restore me!
See me, hear me, read me, restore me!
See me, hear me, read me, restore me!
See me, hear me, read me, restore me!

[Generalites - to the Moderators: ]

Listening to you, we get the judgement
Thanks to you, the spammer is DEET!
Following you, we'll clean the boards up
We'll see justice's boot to his seat!
Right behind you! Deleting the flamers!
On you, we'll put the glory!
From you, we get opinions,
To you, we give the story...

[Repeat to coda]

So, do I get a part or am I just gonna be a janitor in the great musical of Nationstates? :-D

I can't see you trundling off to a mop-up on aisle 2. ;)

Just so everyone knows, I am writing a plot outline right now, and will have it complete by the end of the week.

I'd like to audition for the role of the poor, overworked mod who makes what seems to be a bad call and DEATs someone unfairly, but in the end is vindicated.