NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay. We all know the quote:

"It's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind."
-Neil Armstrong, 20 June 1969, first words uttered on the lunar surface

What do you think will be said when the Chinese land a Taikonaut on Mars, assuming they are the first ones to land human beings on it?

If I was tasked to write the words, they'd be either:

"After much effort and sacrifice, we plant the red banner of our glorious motherland on the red planet."

or

"We wish for peace on Earth as humans stand on a brave new world."

"That rock...looks just like Chairman Mao's chin. Oh shit, was the mic on?"

What do you think will be said when the Chinese land a Taikonaut on Mars, assuming they are the first ones to land human beings on it?
I'b bithing my thongue.

"In your face, Outer Mongolia....in your face!

"Erm, the chow mein might be a little bit cold...I said an interplanetary takeaway was a bad idea!"

Okay. We all know the quote:

"It's one small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind."
-Neil Armstrong, 20 June 1969, first words uttered on the lunar surface

What do you think will be said when the Chinese land a Taikonaut on Mars, assuming they are the first ones to land human beings on it?

If I was tasked to write the words, they'd be either:

"After much effort and sacrifice, we plant the red banner of our glorious motherland on the red planet."

or

"We wish for peace on Earth as humans stand on a brave new world."
Let's not forget that the US then preceded to plant a gigantic US flag on the surface.

"Why is everything so red?"

I assume it'll be something very difficult to understand, in Chinese, and would translate poorly to English.

I'd imagine it'd sound something like "GLORIOUS DAY TO ALIVE BE, VICTORY BE TO THE PEOPLES OF COMMUNIST CHINA."

I assume it'll be something very difficult to understand, in Chinese, and would translate poorly to English.

I'd imagine it'd sound something like "GLORIOUS DAY TO ALIVE BE, VICTORY BE TO THE PEOPLES OF COMMUNIST CHINA."
Yoda :)

Translated into English it would probably go something like "lets go fighting love, kick assu, protect my balls."

"We traveled 7 months with shitty food and no sex for THIS?!"

I don't think that would be limited to the Chinese, I think anyone would say that. Seriously...what's so great about Mars anyway? So it's red...PFFT!

"Omigod! Omigod I can't believe it! I'M ON MARS! Take that [name of high school teacher], I'm on fucking Mars! YEEERRRSSS!!! Whoo-hoo! This is so fucking awesome. Dude. Everything looks so different. And the gravity. What the fuck."

[Realises deathly silence is coming through the link to mission control]

"Erm. Yes. Anyway. We come in peace. Uh."

"Hey....this place is dusty it'd be handy for exiling those Tibetans.........."

"All your Mars are belong to us."

"NO ONE WILL EVER CONFUSE US WITH JAPAN AGAIN! THANK THE STATE!" *Later that night* "In other news Japan landed on Mars today..." *Manderin curses somehow filter through the vacuum of space*

"NO ONE WILL EVER CONFUSE US WITH JAPAN AGAIN! THANK THE STATE!" *Later that night* "In other news Japan landed on Mars today..." *Manderin curses somehow filter through the vacuum of space*
I somehow doubt it'd be 'in other news'.

I somehow doubt it'd be 'in other news'.
Well by then all news will be merged with "Entertainment" idiocy. They're lucky it got mentioned what with Paris Hilton clone #118 vowing to do every male citizen of her namesake city.

"You know, with a little paint, some curtains, and an enormous stone wall, this place wouldn't be half bad." :p

Seriously, though, it depends on what kind of government China has at the time. If it happened today, they'd probably say something about the greatness of the Chinese people and culture. But if they continue their march towards uber-capitalism, it might be an ad for Pepsi. Or Microsoft. Or Microsoft Pepsi (no doubt they'll have merged by then.)

To a Martian:
"No this ISN'T a chinese laundry! Do your own bloody washing!"

We all want someone to land on Mars so when we finish fucking up this planet, we have the slim hope that we can relocated and fuck up another one.

Something about 6 months without a wizz thanks to a lack of trust in Chinese waste-water system

or...

On Venus

Woman astronaut to male
"I knew we should of taken that first left why can't you men ask for directions!" (a few million miles from a pub with a woman in complain mode *shudders*)

"Hey! There are no men here! That John Gray bloke was lying"

"All your Mars are belong to us."

That's Japanese!

That's Japanese!
See? See how rampent the problem is? :p

We all want someone to land on Mars so when we finish fucking up this planet, we have the slim hope that we can relocated and fuck up another one.

Really? I didn't know Mars had an ecosystem.

Or life support.

Or life, period.

Really? I didn't know Mars had an ecosystem.

Or life support.

Or life, period.
We'll make one!

And then bomb the shit out of it in 30 years.

:D

Terraformation generally takes more than thirty years, but once we have the place livable, yes, we propably will bomb the hell out of it.:gundge:

Terraformation generally takes more than thirty years, but once we have the place livable, yes, we propably will bomb the hell out of it.:gundge:

I'm quite curious how you know terraforming 'generally takes more than 30 years'? Is it a common thing round your way or do you really believe what they say on Star Trek?

"Well, we finally got here. Now let us plant the flag of our glorious State over here. Next to the flags of the USA, Russia, Japan, the United Kingdom, France, Germany, Italy, South Africa, India..."

An hour later...

"Yemen, the Vatican City, Andorra, and Sealand."

This is a really horrible thread.

This is a really horrible thread.

Quite. Unfortunately that rather concise statement shall not prevent me from contributing.

If only I had something witty to say... :(


BTW: That's what I reckon they'd say, complete with the sad smilie and everything. (I'm sure they have emoticons in Morse code. If not my faith in humanity is shattered)

This is a really horrible thread.
If I had a penny for every thread on General I thought was tasteless beyond words, I'd have a small fortune by now. :p

If I had a penny for every thread on General I thought was tasteless beyond words, I'd have a small fortune by now. :p
Most of General threads aren't worth a penny. This one shows promise.

I'll pay you a drop of the blood of a Bangladeshi boy and nothing more per thread.

"Well, we finally got here. Now let us plant the flag of our glorious State over here. Next to the flags of the USA, Russia, Japan, the United Kingdom, France, Germany, Italy, South Africa, India..."

An hour later...

"Yemen, the Vatican City, Andorra, and Sealand."
ROFLMAO!

They might say this:

"Ha! It's ours now. You had your chance at all this room, these resources to be mined, and this low gravity well bit you BLEW it! We've got it now and we'll be keeping it.":cool:

They might say this:

"Ha! It's ours now. You had your chance at all this room, these resources to be mined, and this low gravity well bit you BLEW it! We've got it now and we'll be keeping it.":cool:

A little more seriously: "We claim this planet in the name of the People's Republic of China."

And that's what I think they really WILL say. China is not a signatory to the UN Space Treaty. They can, and I believe will, claim the planet in it's entirety as a Chinese territory. And if they do, I also believe they will use military force to defend that claim.

A little more seriously: "We claim this planet in the name of the People's Republic of China."

And that's what I think they really WILL say. China is not a signatory to the UN Space Treaty. They can, and I believe will, claim the planet in it's entirety as a Chinese territory. And if they do, I also believe they will use military force to defend that claim.

In all seriousness I agree with you.

A little more seriously: "We claim this planet in the name of the People's Republic of China."

And that's what I think they really WILL say. China is not a signatory to the UN Space Treaty. They can, and I believe will, claim the planet in it's entirety as a Chinese territory. And if they do, I also believe they will use military force to defend that claim.

See that sounds bad until you realise that it'll lead to some exceptionally cool space battles.

See that sounds bad until you realise that it'll lead to some exceptionally cool space battles.

A point, definitely a point...:D

"Now it really is the Red planet"

A little more seriously: "We claim this planet in the name of the People's Republic of China."

And that's what I think they really WILL say. China is not a signatory to the UN Space Treaty. They can, and I believe will, claim the planet in it's entirety as a Chinese territory. And if they do, I also believe they will use military force to defend that claim.

Meh, I can't imagine anyone arguing with China's claim to Mars, what democratic country would be willing to send its troops to die for a giant lifeless rock hanging in space. Maybe an invasion would be planned once any terraformation had been achieved, but as it is, it's unlikely.

See that sounds bad until you realise that it'll lead to some exceptionally cool space battles.

*faux Chinese propaganda newsreader*

"Our valiant forces, guardians of the revolution, shall further redden the Martian ground with Yankee Imperalist blood!"

"We wish for peace on Earth as humans stand on a brave new world."
I suggest you read the book, as that's a VERY real possiblity if liberals get thier way.

All landing on Mars will show is that we can perhaps one day migrate to other planets even when we completely zap this one of it's resources, like a parasite, a locust, devoruing all it's life and moving onto the next plant and the next plant.

"We declare this Earth-2."
"Sir, this plant had a name it was--"
"It's Earth-2 Bible Thumper.."

I suggest you read the book, as that's a VERY real possiblity if liberals get thier way.

All landing on Mars will show is that we can perhaps one day migrate to other planets even when we completely zap this one of it's resources, like a parasite, a locust, devoruing all it's life and moving onto the next plant and the next plant.

"We declare this Earth-2."
"Sir, this plant had a name it was--"
"It's Earth-2 Bible Thumper.."
Oh wonder, how many goodly creatures are there here, how beautious mankind is, oh Brave New World that has such people in it.

idiot.