NationStates Jolt Archive

I've come to the sad realisation that since I moved schools, I can never get to know a girl without wanting at some point to be romantically involved.

I never believed in that ladder theory crap, but since I moved from my old school to a new, all boys school (about a year and a half ago) not a single girl i can meet ever can be a friend... all my friends who were girls beforehand are still friends, nothing special there, but friends of my other firneds who I have met over the time have become more and more romantically interesting. I don't know whether its just because I've become insanely desperate since being deprived of girls, or whether all the people I meet happen to be really nice (true), or whether its my ability to see the positives in people proving to have a bad side, or a combination of all of these, but every new girl I meet, without fail, makes me weep with desire.

I don't want to turn this into a crappy whingeing-girls-suck-and-its-all-their-fault-and-nobody-understands type thing, just wondering if anybody has similar experiences, or an explanation.

Take it away meastros.

Ummm....Give it time? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence)

How old are you? Could it have something to do with that?

Anyways...don't diss the ladder theory! It has helped many people to quit pretending to themselves that they can expect a romantic relationship by acting like they would towards a guy or a girl they don't want a romantic relationship with.

The Ladder Theory is a heavily biased theory, but the underlying concepts are spot on. The ones about guys considering all girls on a ladder, girls having more distinction for friends and boyfriends, etc etc.

It helped me turn around my love life, personally.

How old are you? Could it have something to do with that?

Anyways...don't diss the ladder theory! It has helped many people to quit pretending to themselves that they can expect a romantic relationship by acting like they would towards a guy or a girl they don't want a romantic relationship with.

16... I know, I know... I've been told I'm really mature for my age, but that also doesn't mean anything. The thought that my age has something to do with it has definately crossed my mind, just found no way to prove or disprove it.

The Ladder Theory is a heavily biased theory, but the underlying concepts are spot on. The ones about guys considering all girls on a ladder, girls having more distinction for friends and boyfriends, etc etc.

It helped me turn around my love life, personally.

I suppose that's true. And hey, whatever helps your love life out, all the better.

I suppose that's true. And hey, whatever helps your love life out, all the better.

I've just been skipped haven't I? :(

Click the liiiiiink....Wiki knows aaaaallll...

I've just been skipped haven't I? :(

Click the liiiiiink....Wiki knows aaaaallll...

Its ok, I was getting to you.

EDIT: Wow... I didn't realise there was a name for that... thats awesome. Thanks.

Its ok, I was getting to you.

What sort of order is that?

I've come to the sad realisation that since I moved schools, I can never get to know a girl without wanting at some point to be romantically involved.

I never believed in that ladder theory crap, but since I moved from my old school to a new, all boys school (about a year and a half ago) not a single girl i can meet ever can be a friend... all my friends who were girls beforehand are still friends, nothing special there, but friends of my other firneds who I have met over the time have become more and more romantically interesting. I don't know whether its just because I've become insanely desperate since being deprived of girls, or whether all the people I meet happen to be really nice (true), or whether its my ability to see the positives in people proving to have a bad side, or a combination of all of these, but every new girl I meet, without fail, makes me weep with desire.

I don't want to turn this into a crappy whingeing-girls-suck-and-its-all-their-fault-and-nobody-understands type thing, just wondering if anybody has similar experiences, or an explanation.

Take it away meastros.

ok.. school guy and 'romance' dont go well for me

do you mean you want to shag their brains out?

or are you one of the few nice guys?

What sort of order is that?

*shrugs*
You had a link, he didn't. Sorry?

*shrugs*
You had a link, he didn't. Sorry?

Eh, alright.

ok.. school guy and 'romance' dont go well for me

do you mean you want to shag their brains out?

or are you one of the few nice guys?

Don't like to class myself as a nice guy... most people who do actually arent... but it's not "I want to shag their brains out", sex is not the most important thing. Can't blame you for making the assumption though.

I've just been skipped haven't I? :(

Click the liiiiiink....Wiki knows aaaaallll...
Hmmm, according to your link I was in "limerence" with a girl for about 3 years. That just sounds stupid to say; but when I read the description it does seem fitting.


The Ladder Theory is a heavily biased theory, but the underlying concepts are spot on. The ones about guys considering all girls on a ladder, girls having more distinction for friends and boyfriends, etc etc.I agree completely.

Eh, alright.

Good o.

Hmmm, according to your link I was in "limerence" with a girl for about 3 years. That just sounds stupid to say; but when I read the description it does seem fitting.

I agree completely.

Yeah, it sounds very very familiar doesnt it... still, it's only as bad as believing in the Ladder Theory, which does have its merits.

Yeah, it sounds very very familiar doesnt it... still, it's only as bad as believing in the Ladder Theory, which does have its merits,

Personally, reading that article helped me...eh, shorten the list of girls I'd "fallen for" considerably.

Personally, reading that article helped me...eh, shorten the list of girls I'd "fallen for" considerably.

Yep, I imagine it would.

Yep, I imagine it would.

It really is weird to say though...limerence...What's the verb for that? I limerence you? I limer you? I limerate you?

Ummm....Give it time? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence)

Interesting...

It really is weird to say though...limerence...What's the verb for that? I limerence you? I limer you? I limerate you?

I Lime you?


Maybe "You are my limerant object". Thats too impersonal though...

Maybe "You are my limerant object". Thats too impersonal though...

Yeah...If we were robots, then we could say "limerence levels exceeding normal parameters" or something, but...uhh...We aren't robots....are we? *DUN DUN DUN*

Interesting...

I thought so too.

Yeah...If were a robot, then you could say "limerence levels exceeding normal parameters" or something, but...uhh...We aren't robots....are we? *DUN DUN DUN*

Well, you may not be...


<.<

>.>

<.<

O_O

"I don't know whether its just because I've become insanely desperate since being deprived of girls, or whether all the people I meet happen to be really nice (true), or whether its my ability to see the positives in people proving to have a bad side, or a combination of all of these"

I won't speak for your case, but in mine it was a combination of 1 and 3. It certainly wasn't every new person but it was a number of new people. The school thing exacerbates the problem cause there people you're seeing nearly every day. I never had a girlfriend until after I left college, cause I would get limerated and be stupid. As soon as I was out in the real world a number of things changed:

1. I got more confidence due to the situation I was in (not applicable necessarily to all people)
2. Despite my lack of confidence I forced myself to be bolder.
3. This is probably the most important I didn't stew about the girl cause I didn't see her everyday. I made the move and it either worked or it didn't, the end.

The key is fast action. Not all girls are gonna dig you. It's not the case. Sometimes they've got significant others already or there just not interested. But some will be. So strike before the rejection becomes world crushing. The longer you wait the less likely things become. It becomes more and more important as you stew on it, and so more and more frightening. And girls that might have been interested will lose interest, especially if you act noticeably weird around them. But if you act fast you will be pleasantly suprised, both by the non-rejections and how much the rejections don't hurt. You meet a girl, think she's interesting and cute and make a move. If she shoots you down you haven't invested much, no there's no chance and move on. Works pretty well.

Nothing groundshaking, just my 2 cents. Also as a word of encouragement, I went through that for a long time. I even told one of my friends at Uni that I expected to never get married and have to adopt children on my own (DRAMA QUEEN! I KNOW). But here I am with a relationship thats lasted more than a year and a half and is still going strong so things will get better.

Yeah...If we were robots, then we could say "limerence levels exceeding normal parameters" or something, but...uhh...We aren't robots....are we? *DUN DUN DUN*

You forgot the blood-curdling scream on the end of the "DUN DUN DUN." Well, no one else I know does it either...so maybe not forgot, as such...but I like it. I think it really adds a certain something.

You forgot the blood-curdling scream on the end of the "DUN DUN DUN." Well, no one else I know does it either...so maybe not forgot, as such...but I like it. I think it really adds a certain something.

Well, this was more of a suspense *dun dun dun*, when they go to commercial. The scream is usually reserved for reavealing *dun dun dun*s, like when they take the mask off, or you see the body.

I've come to the sad realisation that since I moved schools, I can never get to know a girl without wanting at some point to be romantically involved.

I never believed in that ladder theory crap, but since I moved from my old school to a new, all boys school (about a year and a half ago) not a single girl i can meet ever can be a friend... all my friends who were girls beforehand are still friends, nothing special there, but friends of my other firneds who I have met over the time have become more and more romantically interesting. I don't know whether its just because I've become insanely desperate since being deprived of girls, or whether all the people I meet happen to be really nice (true), or whether its my ability to see the positives in people proving to have a bad side, or a combination of all of these, but every new girl I meet, without fail, makes me weep with desire.

I don't want to turn this into a crappy whingeing-girls-suck-and-its-all-their-fault-and-nobody-understands type thing, just wondering if anybody has similar experiences, or an explanation.

Take it away meastros.
Soggy Biscuit even?

could someone please explain to me what the ladder theory is please?

and to the original poster, don't worry, as you get older you'll look back with rosy specs to the days when you found so many people attractive

Well, this was more of a suspense *dun dun dun*, when they go to commercial. The scream is usually reserved for reavealing *dun dun dun*s, like when they take the mask off, or you see the body.

Oh yes, that is very true. I still always add the scream. I feel it heightens the tension just that little extra bit. Or causes the tension to dissolve into chuckles at the incongruity. I just tend to like the scream add-on more.

Don't even know why...

1. I got more confidence due to the situation I was in (not applicable necessarily to all people)
2. Despite my lack of confidence I forced myself to be bolder.


Confidence could help... a lot. It's no trifling thing, and it's something I've been trying to do for a while.

3. This is probably the most important I didn't stew about the girl cause I didn't see her everyday. I made the move and it either worked or it didn't, the end.

Now see, there in itself lies one of the problems... I'd rather be friends than go for girlfriend and fuck it up.

The key is fast action. Not all girls are gonna dig you. It's not the case. Sometimes they've got significant others already or there just not interested. But some will be. So strike before the rejection becomes world crushing. The longer you wait the less likely things become. It becomes more and more important as you stew on it, and so more and more frightening. And girls that might have been interested will lose interest, especially if you act noticeably weird around them. But if you act fast you will be pleasantly suprised, both by the non-rejections and how much the rejections don't hurt. You meet a girl, think she's interesting and cute and make a move. If she shoots you down you haven't invested much, no there's no chance and move on. Works pretty well.

Ok, thats a good point. I shall try to remember that for future reference, but it doesn't help with people already in that bad stage... the one in particular especially :(


Nothing groundshaking, just my 2 cents. Also as a word of encouragement, I went through that for a long time. I even told one of my friends at Uni that I expected to never get married and have to adopt children on my own (DRAMA QUEEN! I KNOW). But here I am with a relationship thats lasted more than a year and a half and is still going strong so things will get better.

Good to hear.

Soggy Biscuit even?

Ok, I'll take a soggy biscuit then.

The theory makes sense. My mom, a nice and reasonable women; had a lapse of sanity when she decided to have two kids with a guy with Bipolar Disorder, no job, and no concept of empathy; I call him dad. My aunt had three kids with an alcoholic, she nice came from a nice home, mentally stable. My friend, whose a girl, she really nice, stays away from things like drugs and alcohol and doesn't like it when I smoke or drink (which happens very rarely) had the choice of dating a nice guy with a lot in common with, that stayed away from drugs and alcohol, and a guy I know that sells things like pills and meth (will never do any of that, that will fuck you up permently) that was "hot" according to the girls, shye picked the drug dealer. The fact is if you're a regular guy chicks won't like you, If you're rich, do drugs, or are mentally unstable, chances are the girls like you.

The theory makes sense. My mom, a nice and reasonable women; had a lapse of sanity when she decided to have two kids with a guy with Bipolar Disorder, no job, and no concept of empathy; I call him dad. My aunt had three kids with an alcoholic, she nice came from a nice home, mentally stable. My friend, whose a girl, she really nice, stays away from things like drugs and alcohol and doesn't like it when I smoke or drink (which happens very rarely) had the choice of dating a nice guy with a lot in common with, that stayed away from drugs and alcohol, and a guy I know that sells things like pills and meth (will never do any of that, that will fuck you up permently) that was "hot" according to the girls, shye picked the drug dealer. The fact is if you're a regular guy chicks won't like you, If you're rich, do drugs, or are mentally unstable, chances are the girls like you.

Umm... ok? I didn't actually see that in the theory... but I understand where you're coming from.

Umm... ok? I didn't actually see that in the theory... but I understand where you're coming from.
It's in the theory, the part under "novelty" and "Money/Power"

I don't know whether its just because I've become insanely desperate since being deprived of girls, or whether all the people I meet happen to be really nice (true), or whether its my ability to see the positives in people proving to have a bad side, or a combination of all of these, but every new girl I meet, without fail, makes me weep with desire

It's just a part of being human I guess, give it time and it will either pass or become unnoticable

Click the liiiiiink....Wiki knows aaaaallll...

Aww, now I have to take Limerence of my list of words I know but everyone else doesn't :(

It's just a part of being human I guess, give it time and it will either pass or become unnoticable



Aww, now I have to take Limerence of my list of words I know but everyone else doesn't :(

That's a cheery thought...


oh, and MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I've come to the sad realisation that since I moved schools, I can never get to know a girl without wanting at some point to be romantically involved.

I never believed in that ladder theory crap, but since I moved from my old school to a new, all boys school (about a year and a half ago) not a single girl i can meet ever can be a friend... all my friends who were girls beforehand are still friends, nothing special there, but friends of my other firneds who I have met over the time have become more and more romantically interesting. I don't know whether its just because I've become insanely desperate since being deprived of girls, or whether all the people I meet happen to be really nice (true), or whether its my ability to see the positives in people proving to have a bad side, or a combination of all of these, but every new girl I meet, without fail, makes me weep with desire.

I don't want to turn this into a crappy whingeing-girls-suck-and-its-all-their-fault-and-nobody-understands type thing, just wondering if anybody has similar experiences, or an explanation.

Take it away meastros.
You seem well-meaning, so I feel bad for you. You're missing out on some awesome friendships.

The theory makes sense. My mom, a nice and reasonable women; had a lapse of sanity when she decided to have two kids with a guy with Bipolar Disorder, no job, and no concept of empathy; I call him dad. My aunt had three kids with an alcoholic, she nice came from a nice home, mentally stable. My friend, whose a girl, she really nice, stays away from things like drugs and alcohol and doesn't like it when I smoke or drink (which happens very rarely) had the choice of dating a nice guy with a lot in common with, that stayed away from drugs and alcohol, and a guy I know that sells things like pills and meth (will never do any of that, that will fuck you up permently) that was "hot" according to the girls, shye picked the drug dealer.

I think the lesson we learn from this is, there are messed up people in the world. 50% of them are female.

If you want to date the kind of woman who seeks out abusive or unhealthy relationships, that's your business. Just remember that you lose any right to complain about how crazy your girlfriend/wife is. :)


The fact is if you're a regular guy chicks won't like you, If you're rich, do drugs, or are mentally unstable, chances are the girls like you.
If you're interested in hooking up with the type of girl who is attracted to mentally-unstable drug users, you go right ahead with that. If you're interested in attracting the kind of woman who is interested in intelligent, fun, sexy, caring men, then maybe you should stop wasting your time telling woman what they want, and try actually BEING it.

The Ladder Theory is a heavily biased theory, but the underlying concepts are spot on. The ones about guys considering all girls on a ladder, girls having more distinction for friends and boyfriends, etc etc.

I love the Ladder Theory! It made my dating life so much simpler...all I had to do is ask, "So have you heard of the Ladder Theory?" And if they replied, "Oh, yeah, that's some good Theory!" then I knew to run the other way as fast as possible.

Seriously, folks, the Ladder Theory only works if you want to date the kind of shallow, unimaginative person who follows the Ladder Theory. You can do better!

I love the Ladder Theory! It made my dating life so much simpler...all I had to do is ask, "So have you heard of the Ladder Theory?" And if they replied, "Oh, yeah, that's some good Theory!" then I knew to run the other way as fast as possible.

Seriously, folks, the Ladder Theory only works if you want to date the kind of shallow, unimaginative person who follows the Ladder Theory. You can do better!
I've never heard of it.
*Flys into a wall of Bottle Anti-Aircraft FLAK anyways*

I've never heard of it.

It's pretty much the same concept as all the other silly "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" stuff you've heard a million times. I've never understood why people are so eager to believe in boring, generalized methods for dating...then you'll just end up with the kind of person who's turned on by boring, generalized methods!


*Flys into a wall of Bottle Anti-Aircraft FLAK anyways*
Oooooh, I love the image of Bottle Anti-Aircraft FLAK.

My point, again

Why should I get laid with an ugly, disturbing, fat bastard just because he claims he's nice?, or just because he's shy and caring? thanks, I'll pass.

Although drug dealers aren't exactly my type, if I decide to down with someone it's just because that someone, male or female, it's hot to my eyes, and that means, physically attractive andwith something magnetic, being that charisma, looks, stance, whatever. If he's an idiot, well, at least he's an attractive, hot, nice bed idiot.

Sex is about physical attraction, not...Niceness. Try to understand it, then you will understand women, at least several of those you claim you "don't" understand.

I don't see many boys hitting the secretary of my office, although she's perhaps the nicest and most warm person around. Why?, just because she's a bit overweight. I see many trying to win my favours, although, and believe me, in work I'm not exactly nice. So this "ladder" thing goes both ways, give me a break.

I was the only kid from my graduating eigth grade class to go to an all boys school. I don't have that exactly, but I can see were you're coming from. Hopefully you're better with women than I am, or luckier depending on how you see it.

That's a cheery thought...


oh, and MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I also curse you, you educator of others.

All boys schools corrupt the soul. Educationally impeccable but socially regressed.

All boys schools corrupt the soul. Educationally impeccable but socially regressed.


And all girl schools?

And all girl schools?

Fortunately, from my experience, they merely produce sexually liberated girls.

Having attended a single sex school (http://www.crgs.co.uk/) for six years now, I can assure you that the social provision made for students is not redolent of the educational provision.

And all girl schools?

I'm a by-product of a catholic all-girl school. It wasn't so bad, we got the chance to meet boys outside.

And no, the nuns didn't molested us, and no, we weren't lesbians.

My point, again

Why should I get laid with an ugly, disturbing, fat bastard just because he claims he's nice?, or just because he's shy and caring? thanks, I'll pass.

Although drug dealers aren't exactly my type, if I decide to down with someone it's just because that someone, male or female, it's hot to my eyes, and that means, physically attractive andwith something magnetic, being that charisma, looks, stance, whatever. If he's an idiot, well, at least he's an attractive, hot, nice bed idiot.

Sex is about physical attraction, not...Niceness. Try to understand it, then you will understand women, at least several of those you claim you "don't" understand.

I don't see many boys hitting the secretary of my office, although she's perhaps the nicest and most warm person around. Why?, just because she's a bit overweight. I see many trying to win my favours, although, and believe me, in work I'm not exactly nice. So this "ladder" thing goes both ways, give me a break.
I don't think you understand The Rules. See, guys are attracted to women for their bodies, but girls are supposed to be willing to go out with any ugly guy who acts "nice" around them. A guy is doing you a favor by acting "nice" around you, and you owe it to him to have sex with him.

;)

I don't think you understand The Rules. See, guys are attracted to women for their bodies, but girls are supposed to be willing to go out with any ugly guy who acts "nice" around them. A guy is doing you a favor by acting "nice" around you, and you owe it to him to have sex with him.

;)

Oh, like...Niceness prostitution?

I'm a by-product of a catholic all-girl school. It wasn't so bad, we got the chance to meet boys outside.

And no, the nuns didn't molested us, and no, we weren't lesbians.

Damn.

Oh, like...Niceness prostitution?
Pretty much.

According to most dating "rules" that I've encountered, the theory is that girls/women don't like sex at all. Most "rules" boil down to instructions on how women are supposed to go about selling sex, and how men are supposed to go about buying it.

Sometimes it's about literal money, but lately it's become about status or about "niceness." The "rules" tell men and women what the exchange rate is; how much "nice" must a man give a woman in exchange for access to her pants? How much "nice" can she extract from him, before she is obligated to provide pussy?

Personally, I'd just as soon have a partner who doesn't need to be bought. I'd prefer to date women who would like to have sex with me. But I'm silly that way.

Pretty much.

According to most dating "rules" that I've encountered, the theory is that girls/women don't like sex at all. Most "rules" boil down to instructions on how women are supposed to go about selling sex, and how men are supposed to go about buying it.

Sometimes it's about literal money, but lately it's become about status or about "niceness." The "rules" tell men and women what the exchange rate is; how much "nice" must a man give a woman in exchange for access to her pants? How much "nice" can she extract from him, before she is obligated to provide pussy?

Personally, I'd just as soon have a partner who doesn't need to be bought. I'd prefer to date women who would like to have sex with me. But I'm silly that way.

And you are from? ;)

And you are from? ;)
Must...resist...urge to be juvenile. Must...not...say...URANUS!!!!

Must...resist...urge to be juvenile. Must...not...say...URANUS!!!!

the point was being silly about it. It was a joke after all :p

the point was being silly about it. It was a joke after all :p
Yes, but I try to maintain the illusion that I'm high-brow and intellectual. Which kind of falls apart when I start making "uranus" jokes.

Yes, but I try to maintain the illusion that I'm high-brow and intellectual. Which kind of falls apart when I start making "uranus" jokes.


Illusions are nice, though.

Hey - does anyone know how to make a Nazi cross?

Illusions are nice, though.

Hey - does anyone know how to make a Nazi cross?
Elect a black Jew to office?

Illusions are nice, though.

Hey - does anyone know how to make a Nazi cross?

a Swastica? Swastika, whatever it is written...

Of course, here we used to practice how, I remember the full pages of swastikas when I was back at school.

I don't know if Ladder Theory makes sense to other people, but I don't empathize with either the "male" or "female" parts of Ladder Theory.

My point, again

Why should I get laid with an ugly, disturbing, fat bastard just because he claims he's nice?, or just because he's shy and caring? thanks, I'll pass.It's entirely acceptable to be shallow, as long as you have no objections when you get a little bit older and everyone you want is shallow and possibly wouldn't want you.

a Swastica? Swastika, whatever it is written...

Of course, here we used to practice how, I remember the full pages of swastikas when I was back at school.
And if there had never been Nazis, the History Channel wouldn't exist. Hmm ...

Elect a black Jew to office?


My fave one goes like this:

Bomb Berlin and say 'Goodbye Jerry, I'll see you again tomorrow'.

*insert apoplectic SS-type here*

ZAT VAS NOT FUNNY

It's entirely acceptable to be shallow, as long as you have no objections when you get a little bit older and everyone you want is shallow and possibly wouldn't want you.
I think it's a bit much to claim that caring about physical appearance = shallow. I also think it's funny how women are considered "shallow" if they even INCLUDE physical attractiveness on their list of favored traits. Why should a girl settle for an unattractive but "nice" fellow, when she could just as easily hold out for a guy who has a "hot" personality as well as a hot body?

single sex schools are rubbish

I think it's a bit much to claim that caring about physical appearance = shallow. I also think it's funny how women are considered "shallow" if they even INCLUDE physical attractiveness on their list of favored traits. Why should a girl settle for an unattractive but nice fellow, when she could just as easily hold out for a guy who is both nice AND hot?

How many boys like that are actually single? ( :p )

How many boys like that are actually single? ( :p )
Not a ton, to be sure. Which is why plenty of girls decide that while they're waiting around for a more ideal fellow, they'll pass the time by hooking up with hot guys who aren't exactly perfect in the personality department.

For some reason, it's viewed as perfectly natural when guys do this. But when girls do, they get yelled at for not picking "nice guys" to sleep with. Or for being sluts, because girls aren't supposed to want sex...only commitment and cuddling.

How many boys like that are actually single? ( :p )

err me :p

I don't know if Ladder Theory makes sense to other people, but I don't empathize with either the "male" or "female" parts of Ladder Theory.

It's entirely acceptable to be shallow, as long as you have no objections when you get a little bit older and everyone you want is shallow and possibly wouldn't want you.

Did you, ahem, call me shallow? Just because I emphatize in physical appearance regarding physical activities, like sex? Just because you're a kid in front of a computer trying to finding someone to have sex for the first time and as you were born ugly as a mud fence you cannot find anyone?

My friends are actually not shallow at all. My dates and former couples weren't shallow at all. They were movie makers, social lawyers, writers, politicians. I have friendships with interesting, deep, intense people, but that doesn't mean they have to get me naked in a bed moaning. I reserve that for those I am physically attracted to. Go with your Paris Hilton stereotype somewhere else, if I would be that shallow, I wouldn't be a graduated journalist with a magister in geopolitics that carries several social interest programs to help the society I live.

Grow up, powser.

I think it's a bit much to claim that caring about physical appearance = shallow. I also think it's funny how women are considered "shallow" if they even INCLUDE physical attractiveness on their list of favored traits. Why should a girl settle for an unattractive but "nice" fellow, when she could just as easily hold out for a guy who has a "hot" personality as well as a hot body?I got the implication from her post that personality was a secondary consideration or even a third or fourth consideration. With that said, I do agree that women are lambasted for desiring an attractive partner much more so than men.

Did you, ahem, call me shallow? Just because I emphatize in physical appearance regarding physical activities, like sex? Just because you're a kid in front of a computer trying to finding someone to have sex for the first time and as you were born ugly as a mud fence you cannot find anyone?Ahem, are you drunk or high or something?

My friends are actually not shallow at all. My dates and former couples weren't shallow at all. They were movie makers, social lawyers, writers, politicians. I have friendships with interesting, deep, intense people, but that doesn't mean they have to get me naked in a bed moaning. I reserve that for those I am physically attracted to. Go with your Paris Hilton stereotype somewhere else, if I would be that shallow, I wouldn't be a graduated journalist with a magister in geopolitics that carries several social interest programs to help the society I live.

Grow up, powser.Uh, you can be intellectually deep but still be shallow when it comes to picking romantic partners.

Did you, ahem, call me shallow? Just because I emphatize in physical appearance regarding physical activities, like sex? Just because you're a kid in front of a computer trying to finding someone to have sex for the first time and as you were born ugly as a mud fence you cannot find anyone?

My friends are actually not shallow at all. My dates and former couples weren't shallow at all. They were movie makers, social lawyers, writers, politicians. I have friendships with interesting, deep, intense people, but that doesn't mean they have to get me naked in a bed moaning. I reserve that for those I am physically attracted to. Go with your Paris Hilton stereotype somewhere else, if I would be that shallow, I wouldn't be a graduated journalist with a magister in geopolitics that carries several social interest programs to help the society I live.

Grow up, powser.
Look, you REALLY need to review the RULES, woman!

Men are allowed to care about physical appearance. Men are allowed to bitch that there are "no good women" to date, even if they are surrounded by kind, intelligent, wonderful women who just don't happen to look like supermodels. This is because all men are entitled to be with a hot woman. TV told me so.

Women, on the other hand, are not entitled to a hot man. In fact, you're not even entitled to a man at all. You had better lose some weight, right now, or you'll die alone and unloved.

Women are attracted to power and status. I know because TV told me so. Women don't like sex, they simply sell sex to men in order to get things they really want (like flowers, piece of jewelry, and fertilization for the babies that all women want to have). Women who say they would prefer to have sex with attractive men are shallow bitches who are rejecting wonderful nice (unattractive) guys for no good reason.

Are we all clear, now? Good. Don't make me explain it to you again.

Ahem, are you drunk or high or something?

Uh, you can be intellectually deep but still be shallow when it comes to picking romantic partners.

Not drunk, not high, extremely pissed off at your assumptions and at this topic. Im working as I write.

As for your point, personality do not help a lot in bed. You're not going to give me the frig session of my life just because you are smart or nice. In a relationship, in a life together, it's the main aspect, but about sex? finding a bofriend/husband means a lot of both, and that's why I am still single.

Romantic partners or sex partners?

Meh, you're not going to get it, no?

I got the implication from her post that personality was a secondary consideration or even a third or fourth consideration.

I read her saying that she doesn't find the idea of sleeping with "an ugly, disturbing, fat bastard" appealing, even if he has a nice personality.

Forgive me, but I don't think you would have described that as "shallow" if she had been a he. Or do you really think that it is shallow for somebody to say, "I don't want to be sexually active with people to whom I am not sexually attracted"?

single sex schools are rubbish

Heh. Been in an all male school for all my school life.

... I'm doomed, aren't I?

Look, you REALLY need to review the RULES, woman!

Men are allowed to care about physical appearance. Men are allowed to bitch that there are "no good women" to date, even if they are surrounded by kind, intelligent, wonderful women who just don't happen to look like supermodels. This is because all men are entitled to be with a hot woman. TV told me so.

Women, on the other hand, are not entitled to a hot man. In fact, you're not even entitled to a man at all. You had better lose some weight, right now, or you'll die alone and unloved.

Women are attracted to power and status. I know because TV told me so. Women don't like sex, they simply sell sex to men in order to get things they really want (like flowers, piece of jewelry, and fertilization for the babies that all women want to have). Women who say they would prefer to have sex with attractive men are shallow bitches who are rejecting wonderful nice (unattractive) guys for no good reason.

Are we all clear, now? Good. Don't make me explain it to you again.While I do agree that this is how society treats men and women, if it had been a man saying it, I'd have said the exact same thing. You of course, have no reason to believe me, as I can't think if there's a post on this forum to link to to prove it, but nonetheless, I do maintain that that's what I would have done.

Heh. Been in an all male school for all my school life.

... I'm doomed, aren't I?

*relaxes in state school mediocraty*

at least youll proabaly get a better education wit out "distractions" so to speak

While I do agree that this is how society treats men and women, if it had been a man saying it, I'd have said the exact same thing.

Well, then at least you are equally silly toward both genders. ;)

There is NOTHING shallow about saying, "I'd prefer to have sex with people who I feel sexually attracted to." That's just called "honesty." It's perfectly healthy.

There's a reason why human beings have both platonic and sexual relationships. There's a reason why some people are life-long friends, but never have sex. Sexual attraction is an important part of a sexual relationship, and there's nothing shallow about realizing that.


You of course, have no reason to believe me, as I can't think if there's a post on this forum to link to to prove it, but nonetheless, I do maintain that that's what I would have done.
Fair enough. I will take your word for it, since I have no particular reason to do otherwise in your case.

Romantic partners or sex partners?

Meh, you're not going to get it, no?Do you typically have romantic partners that you don't have sex with?

I read her saying that she doesn't find the idea of sleeping with "an ugly, disturbing, fat bastard" appealing, even if he has a nice personality.

Forgive me, but I don't think you would have described that as "shallow" if she had been a he. Or do you really think that it is shallow for somebody to say, "I don't want to be sexually active with people to whom I am not sexually attracted"?I would say that it's shallow to say "I could never be sexually attracted to somebody regardless of their personality." And that's fine, I wasn't saying that being shallow is bad, being a hypocrite would be, though.

While I do agree that this is how society treats men and women, if it had been a man saying it, I'd have said the exact same thing. You of course, have no reason to believe me, as I can't think if there's a post on this forum to link to to prove it, but nonetheless, I do maintain that that's what I would have done.

So in your opinion, I must have sex with people I am not attracted to because they have such outstanding personalities? I reserve conversations and intense moments for that.

Following your reasoning, I must have sex with deep, intense people that are not sexually attractive and have conversations and powerful, wonderful moments with shallow and idiot shmucks? Sorry, but for me it's the other way around.

And Bottle, I know that, believe me, macho culture is even stronger down here, but it pisses me off nevertheless.

Do you typically have romantic partners that you don't have sex with?

I think it's more about having sex partners who you aren't "romantic" with.


I would say that it's shallow to say "I could never be sexually attracted to somebody regardless of their personality."
I don't think that's shallow at all. There are some people to whom I simply could not be sexually attracted, no matter how awesome their personality is. I'd wager you're exactly the same way, as is every single human being on the planet.

Do you typically have romantic partners that you don't have sex with?.

Yes, not typically, but it has happened. Romance and sex do not have to go together, for me it's not a direct relation. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

Have you loved each and every of your sexual partners?

So in your opinion, I must have sex with people I am not attracted to because they have such outstanding personalities? I reserve conversations and intense moments for that.

Following your reasoning, I must have sex with deep, intense people that are not sexually attractive and have conversations and powerful, wonderful moments with shallow and idiot shmucks? Sorry, but for me it's the other way around.

Exactly.

There are plenty of amazing and brilliant people you can meet who will not have any chemistry with you. Insisting that you try to find them sexually attractive because of their minds is as stupid as insisting that you try to have deep, mental connections with any person you find physically attractive.

There's a reason why human beings have both platonic and sexual relationships. There's a reason why some people are life-long friends, but never have sex. Sexual attraction is an important part of a sexual relationship, and there's nothing shallow about realizing that.I can't imagine being single and lifelong friends with someone without having sex, unless it happens that we were never single (or in an open relationship) at the same time, or there were seuxality issues (a heterosexual male, or a female).

I can't imagine being single and lifelong friends with someone without having sex, unless it happens that we were never single (or in an open relationship) at the same time, or there were seuxality issues (a heterosexual male, or a female).
That sounds kind of bizarre to me. It sounds like you are basically saying that you are not capable of platonic relationships, but that you can refrain from actively having sex with friends if there is a particular reason to do so.

Are you physically attracted to every single person you encounter? Or do you only make friends with people you are physically attracted to?

Are you physically attracted to every single person you encounter? Or do you only make friends with people you are physically attracted to?

That, sister, is the question.

I think it's more about having sex partners who you aren't "romantic" with.I got the impression that since this was something of a romance thread as opposed to a sex thread, we were talking about romance and sex within the context of a romantic relationship.

I don't think that's shallow at all. There are some people to whom I simply could not be sexually attracted, no matter how awesome their personality is. I'd wager you're exactly the same way, as is every single human being on the planet.Then what would you consider shallow to be?

So in your opinion, I must have sex with people I am not attracted to because they have such outstanding personalities? I reserve conversations and intense moments for that.No, in my opinion, you're welcome to do whatever you want, as long as you are okay with other people treating you the same way.

Yes, not typically, but it has happened. Romance and sex do not have to go together, for me it's not a direct relation. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

Have you loved each and every of your sexual partners?No, but I've had sex with every one of my romantic partners. If it's true that you can be in a romantic relationship without having sex, as long as you maintain the boundaries of that relationship, then I may have to rescind my judgment.

That, sister, is the question.
I should probably change that to read, "sexually attracted," I suppose. Since, in the context of this discussion, sexual attractiveness includes but is not limited to physical attractiveness. I think.

That sounds kind of bizarre to me. It sounds like you are basically saying that you are not capable of platonic relationships, but that you can refrain from actively having sex with friends if there is a particular reason to do so.

Are you physically attracted to every single person you encounter? Or do you only make friends with people you are physically attracted to?No, it's more that throughout the course of the friendship, (if it's a close friendship) a physical attraction develops, if it's not there at first.

I should probably change that to read, "sexually attracted," I suppose. Since, in the context of this discussion, sexual attractiveness includes but is not limited to physical attractiveness. I think.I took it that you meant it as sexually attracted, but yes, sexually attracted is probably the right word.

No, it's more that throughout the course of the friendship, a physical attraction develops, if it's not there at first.

For you, perhaps.

The point that happens to you do not mean those who doesn't happen to be in the same train are "shallow". I dont mind others treating me for what I am, but well, "shallow" is not a word that meor those around would use to describe me. Go on, although, you are free to have your own perceptions.

I got the impression that since this was something of a romance thread as opposed to a sex thread, we were talking about romance and sex within the context of a romantic relationship.

Could be. I was speculating as to what another poster meant; I could very well be wrong.


Then what would you consider shallow to be?

A "shallow" person would be somebody who is lacking in depth of intellect, emotion, or knowledge. I see no reason why an intelligent, passionate, knowledgable person could not also recognize that the physical appearance of their sexual partner(s) is an important factor.

No, it's more that throughout the course of the friendship, (if it's a close friendship) a physical attraction develops, if it's not there at first.
This certainly happens sometimes, but I have to say that I find it a bit odd to hear somebody suggesting that it happens with ALL their friends. Not really anything wrong with that, I guess, it just seems like a very odd way to perceive your relationships with others.

A "shallow" person would be somebody who is lacking in depth of intellect, emotion, or knowledge. I see no reason why an intelligent, passionate, knowledgable person could not also recognize that the physical appearance of their sexual partner(s) is an important factor.Ah, I see. I didn't wish to imply that Aelosia was lacking in depth of intellect, emotion, or knowledge, and if I did so, I apologize.

This certainly happens sometimes, but I have to say that I find it a bit odd to hear somebody suggesting that it happens with ALL their friends. Not really anything wrong with that, I guess, it just seems like a very odd way to perceive your relationships with others.Not all of them. My best friend is a straight male, (I am a gay male) and so I am not attracted to him, but if he was gay then an attraction would probably develop.
I suppose it might be an odd way of perceiving relationships with others, however it makes sense to me, as it seems to me that the best romantic partners should also make good friends.

Jello you're starting to come across as a little bitter and worthy. It's not a case of what ought to be, Physical Relations Boil down to biology, not a reward system. to rant at it as being shallow is sort of to miss the point.

people have many good qualities that they interact with. A partner would be someone with intellect, personality and physical attractiveness. If they lack the former they can still be fun in bed, if they lack the latter then they can be valued as friends but i'm unlikely to be compelled to sleep with them.
what part of this is so hard to understand

Tatsdonia']Jello you're starting to come across as a little bitter and worthy. It's not a case of what ought to be, Physical Relations Boil down to biology, not a reward system. to rant at it as being shallow is sort of to miss the point.

people have many good qualities that they interact with. A partner would be someone with intellect, personality and physical attractiveness. If they lack the former they can still be fun in bed, if they lack the latter then they can be valued as friends but i'm unlikely to be compelled to sleep with them.
what part of this is so hard to understandIt isn't hard to understand, nor would I view physical relations as being a reward system. With that said, it's fine to view physical relations in the way that you described, as long as you understand it if you're unfavorably at the receiving end of such a viewpoint.

Not all of them. My best friend is a straight male, (I am a gay male) and so I am not attracted to him, but if he was gay then an attraction would probably develop.

Wait, you are able to control your physical attraction to somebody based on how available a person is?!

Far out. That sounds like a handy trick.


I suppose it might be an odd way of perceiving relationships with others, however it makes sense to me, as it seems to me that the best romantic partners should also make good friends.
I quite agree. I just don't see it going the opposite way; I think the best romantic partners should also be good friends, but I don't think the best friends must necessarily be the type who would make a good romantic partner (for you).

This is because I feel that romantic relationships are about more than whether each individual is a terrific person. There are plenty of times when two terrific people add up to make one hell of a crappy relationship. This doesn't mean there is necessarily something wrong with either person, it just means that how two people fit together is as important as who they are as individuals (when it comes to making a relationship).

Sexual attraction is part of this, though it's certainly not the only part. There are plenty of people I'm friends with who I know are "objectively" attractive; that is, I know they are very attractive to others. However, I am not personally attracted to them, because they aren't the type of person that I would like to be involved with. This is about MY preferences, not about anything wrong with them! It's like how I'm glad my friends can order spicy chicken wings at the pub, and I have no reason to claim that spicy chicken wings are any worse than any other pub food, but I personally don't want spicy chicken wings.

I've got friends who make wonderful boyfriends and girlfriends, but who would make a horrible boyfriend or girlfriend WITH ME.

Damn, I something really profound to say. I wish I'd come here before this was on page 7... Now no one will pay attention to it :(

Basically, it's that there is nothing wrong with looking for love with every girl you get close to. At sixteen I was the same way.

We didn't evolve out of the primordial ooze by being friends with members of the opposite sex. The fact that we find the opposite sex interesting beyond the confines of "friendship" is what seperates us from the pandas. Stupid pandas :D

absolutely, they'll always be people i find more attractive than they find me, and vice versa. The idea of making a stand against such 'shallowness' sadly isn't going to nab me people out of my league

Basically, it's that there is nothing wrong with looking for love with every girl you get close to. At sixteen I was the same way.


A bit repetitive, but love or sex?

A bit repetitive, but love or sex?

At that age, one leads into the other quite rapidly. The "love" that you find might be more limerance (great word btw) than anything, but damned if doesn't feel like love.

Wait, you are able to control your physical attraction to somebody based on how available a person is?!

Far out. That sounds like a handy trick.Yes, usually. It doesn't always work.

I quite agree. I just don't see it going the opposite way; I think the best romantic partners should also be good friends, but I don't think the best friends must necessarily be the type who would make a good romantic partner (for you).

This is because I feel that romantic relationships are about more than whether each individual is a terrific person. There are plenty of times when two terrific people add up to make one hell of a crappy relationship. This doesn't mean there is necessarily something wrong with either person, it just means that how two people fit together is as important as who they are as individuals (when it comes to making a relationship).

Sexual attraction is part of this, though it's certainly not the only part. There are plenty of people I'm friends with who I know are "objectively" attractive; that is, I know they are very attractive to others. However, I am not personally attracted to them, because they aren't the type of person that I would like to be involved with. This is about MY preferences, not about anything wrong with them! It's like how I'm glad my friends can order spicy chicken wings at the pub, and I have no reason to claim that spicy chicken wings are any worse than any other pub food, but I personally don't want spicy chicken wings.

I've got friends who make wonderful boyfriends and girlfriends, but who would make a horrible boyfriend or girlfriend WITH ME.I can understand this on an intellectual level, and can agree with some of the things. However, I would probably view this as there being something (romantically) unattractive with their personality, in this case, that they wouldn't make a good match with me.

Tatsdonia]absolutely, they'll always be people i find more attractive than they find me, and vice versa. The idea of making a stand against such 'shallowness' sadly isn't going to nab me people out of my leagueI'm not looking to nab people out of my league. Nonetheless, my statement wasn't against shallowness, it was a statement against hypocrisy (which Aelosia may not be a hypocrite, so it may not apply to her) that got turned into a statement against shallowness.

Yello Biafra, Aelesia and Bottle, please note:

regardless of your gender, there is a point in life where you find out that everyone who is

A] Hot as Achilles
and
B] Clever as Odyseus

IS already married with children
( and if Gay Marriage takes off, being gay will STILL mean that the hotshots are married with children. )
So lets be less judgemental about sexual partners,
and admit that we're all out there to strike the best possible.

Jello Biafra, Aelosia and Bottle, please note:

regardless of your gender, there is a point in life where you find out that everyone who is

A] Hot as Achilles
and
B] Clever as Odyseus

IS already married with children
( and if Gay Marriage takes off, being gay will STILL mean that the hotshots are married with children. )
So lets be less judgemental about sexual partners,
and admit that we're all out there to strike the best possible.

How old do you think I am?

How old do you think I am?

I haven't got a clue, and unless you tell me, I try hard not to make it my business.

But I do have a middlin' accurate idea of the age of the 3 of you divided by 3.

I don't know whether you are 30 or 50 - but on aggregate, it doesn't matter that much.

i know it wasn't addressed to me but i'd guess mid to late twenties

Thing is Bogmarsh is that one cannot choose to be attracted to more people (or even to settle at an early age if it's not in you), but that while it's true that the goodies get snapped up as one gets older (and possibly less yummy oneself) if anything one becomes even fussier as we're more perceptive and factor in new requirements

Tatsdonia']i know it wasn't addressed to me but i'd guess mid to late twenties

Thing is Bogmarsh is that one cannot choose to be attracted to more people (or even to settle at an early age if it's not in you), but that while it's true that the goodies get snapped up as one gets older (and possibly less yummy oneself) if anything one becomes even fussier as we're more perceptive and factor in new requirements


Silly you. :fluffle:

You make the best deal as quick as you can - or watch and learn as the fast movers around 40 STILL make off with the choiciest morsels still available or available again.
The fustest with the mostest...

Damn, I something really profound to say. I wish I'd come here before this was on page 7... Now no one will pay attention to it :(

Basically, it's that there is nothing wrong with looking for love with every girl you get close to. At sixteen I was the same way.

We didn't evolve out of the primordial ooze by being friends with members of the opposite sex. The fact that we find the opposite sex interesting beyond the confines of "friendship" is what seperates us from the pandas. Stupid pandas :D


Oh, I dunno, I can dig the PLight of the Pandas... I mean, its kinda hard to get it on with your girl when some crazy human is always in there takin' her temperature with a rectal thermometer, know what I mean?

And I agree with your basic statement. As a sixteen year old, I find it to be worthy and true.

Seal of approval.

if he's out there i suspect i've yet to meet him.
Can't pretend i've been plagued by bad luck or that i haven't had a lot of fun in the meantime but am just about at the age where i could settle down if discovered the right person, just hasn't happened yet.
thing is if i look back at previous adventures and relationships, while some were amazing in their way, there's not anything i could have choosen differently or any that i should be in now

Tatsdonia']i know it wasn't addressed to me but i'd guess mid to late twenties

Thing is Bogmarsh is that one cannot choose to be attracted to more people (or even to settle at an early age if it's not in you), but that while it's true that the goodies get snapped up as one gets older (and possibly less yummy oneself) if anything one becomes even fussier as we're more perceptive and factor in new requirements

Bingo!, Wanna come to claim your prize?

Bingo!, Wanna come to claim your prize?

Same age my sister had that 7 year itch- and botched her marriage.
Too bad. I really liked my brother-in-law. Oh, the pride of youth.

See you again after 30, Aelosia.

guess based on a combination of confidence in your appeal and shades of experience honey.

Bogmarsh, why do i suspect you're male?
i don't think Aelosia is saying she wouldn't want la grand amore or a mature lasting partnership, only that she doesn't want to settle for less. And in the meantime she enjoys sex and flirtations

..unless you're a minxy 40 year old Bogmarsh in which case i misjudged the tone

Yello Biafra, Aelesia and Bottle, please note:

regardless of your gender, there is a point in life where you find out that everyone who is

A] Hot as Achilles
and
B] Clever as Odyseus

IS already married with children

Wait, are you trying to tell me that I'm actually married with children?!

;)

Tatsdonia']
i don't think Aelosia is saying she wouldn't want la grand amore or a mature lasting partnership, only that she doesn't want to settle for less. And in the meantime she enjoys sex and flirtations
Yeah, I've always ignored the people who told me I should lower my standards and settle for a guy who wasn't really attractive to me. Why bother? Being single isn't some horrible fate; it's a hell of a lot better than being in a relationship with somebody I'm not satisfied with. I'm not going to waste my time in relationships that I don't really want to be in...and I'm also not going to be celebate while I'm waiting for the right opportunity to come along! :)

hear hear bottle
though when you see your friends settle down happily with the chaps you introduced them to, the one's who aren't quite up to your standards, it does sometimes strike you that you might be impossible to please.
ach well, wouldn't have had some of the best experiences of my twenties (both sexually and emotionally) had i been settled all this time.

Tatsdonia']guess based on a combination of confidence in your appeal and shades of experience honey.

Bogmarsh, why do i suspect you're male?
i don't think Aelosia is saying she wouldn't want la grand amore or a mature lasting partnership, only that she doesn't want to settle for less. And in the meantime she enjoys sex and flirtations

You're a nice people reader then :D

Yes, I want the best lad I can find now, I think I deserve it, and I also want to have fun meanwhile.

in your case it's more empathy than insight, have much the same views as you've given and am only a few years older

off to the pub now lovlies, nice to have chatted with you

be lucky

Tatsdonia']i know it wasn't addressed to me but i'd guess mid to late twenties

Thing is Bogmarsh is that one cannot choose to be attracted to more people (or even to settle at an early age if it's not in you), but that while it's true that the goodies get snapped up as one gets older (and possibly less yummy oneself) if anything one becomes even fussier as we're more perceptive and factor in new requirements

In some things I might agree. However as I get older I become less and less hung up on appearance and more on the genuine niceness of a person.Some people mellow and get nicer over time while some harden or or rot from the inside or just become nastier. All become less beautiful. It is a difference of perspective as much as anything else.

In some things I might agree. However as I get older I become less and less hung up on appearance and more on the genuine niceness of a person.Some people mellow and get nicer over time while some harden or or rot from the inside or just become nastier. All become less beautiful. It is a difference of perspective as much as anything else.
I couldn't disagree more. It makes me so sad to see people claiming that age diminishes beauty, when I've found it to be the opposite case as often as not.

Sure, you're not going to look like the supermodels on TV, but that's because our culture fetishizes youth more than any other quality (including boobies...and that's really saying something). Don't get sucked into that mentality, because you'll miss out on some real beauty!

<snip>
I don't want to turn this into a crappy whingeing-girls-suck-and-its-all-their-fault-and-nobody-understands type thing, just wondering if anybody has similar experiences, or an explanation.

Take it away meastros.
Nope. Actually, I have more friendgirls (as you put it) than friendguys.

I couldn't disagree more. It makes me so sad to see people claiming that age diminishes beauty, when I've found it to be the opposite case as often as not.

Sure, you're not going to look like the supermodels on TV, but that's because our culture fetishizes youth more than any other quality (including boobies...and that's really saying something). Don't get sucked into that mentality, because you'll miss out on some real beauty!

OK I have become less beautiful with age. Im 46. How old are you?

I couldn't disagree more. It makes me so sad to see people claiming that age diminishes beauty, when I've found it to be the opposite case as often as not.

Sure, you're not going to look like the supermodels on TV, but that's because our culture fetishizes youth more than any other quality (including boobies...and that's really saying something). Don't get sucked into that mentality, because you'll miss out on some real beauty!


Pffft, you say that just because you don't have beatiful boobies ;)

OK I have become less beautiful with age. Im 46. How old are you?
To disprove your thesis, all I need to tell you is that I am unequivocally more attractive today than I was 6 years ago. :D

To disprove your thesis, all I need to tell you is that I am unequivocally more attractive today than I was 6 years ago. :D

So 18 then?

I've never heard of it.

It's pretty much the same concept as all the other silly "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" stuff you've heard a million times. I've never understood why people are so eager to believe in boring, generalized methods for dating...then you'll just end up with the kind of person who's turned on by boring, generalized methods!
Oh well, please don't tell me be kind and save me.:)


*Flys into a wall of Bottle Anti-Aircraft FLAK anyways*
Oooooh, I love the image of Bottle Anti-Aircraft FLAK.
Well from now on you have your very own Troop no no Regiment yes Regiment of Bottle Anti-Aircraft Guns!

Use them wisely.:)

*waves hand* ...hello? Hello? HELLOOOOO??!!


Remember me? I'm mister OP, you know, the one who started this thread? A thread about MY personal problems?









:p


Never mind, you can have your debate, for now my curiosity is satisfied. The most proliferant (is that even a word? Is it the right one? Who knows) "friendgirl" (TM) seemed to feel the same as I did... so now I'd rather not find out why it happened, just leave it at that it did.


YAY!:D

*waves hand* ...hello? Hello? HELLOOOOO??!!


Remember me? I'm mister OP, you know, the one who started this thread? A thread about MY personal problems?









:p


Never mind, you can have your debate, for now my curiosity is satisfied. The most proliferant (is that even a word? Is it the right one? Who knows) "friendgirl" (TM) seemed to feel the same as I did... so now I'd rather not find out why it happened, just leave it at that it did.


YAY!:D
Go out and be a little slut then.
Happy now?:)

Go out and be a little slut then.
Happy now?:)

Is "slut" a word often used to describe guys where you're from?

Woohoo! Dead thread!

Is "slut" a word often used to describe guys where you're from?
Why yes, yes it is...

Where I live, "slut" refers to a person who is promiscuous. I'm happy to say that, at least within my little community, we've gotten rid of the double standard when it comes to that word.

She is a slut. He is a slut. One tiny victory for humankind. :D

Did you, ahem, call me shallow? Just because I emphatize in physical appearance regarding physical activities, like sex? Just because you're a kid in front of a computer trying to finding someone to have sex for the first time and as you were born ugly as a mud fence you cannot find anyone?

My friends are actually not shallow at all. My dates and former couples weren't shallow at all. They were movie makers, social lawyers, writers, politicians. I have friendships with interesting, deep, intense people, but that doesn't mean they have to get me naked in a bed moaning. I reserve that for those I am physically attracted to. Go with your Paris Hilton stereotype somewhere else, if I would be that shallow, I wouldn't be a graduated journalist with a magister in geopolitics that carries several social interest programs to help the society I live.

Grow up, powser.
Didn't you give an example of the ladder theory right there? Some (physically attractive) men are for sex. Others (interesting, deep, intense) are for friendship. And those who find themselves in the latter group make fools out of themselves if they try to get you in bed. The only thing you'd need to add to have the ladder theory is that men are different.

The only thing you'd need to add to have the ladder theory is that men are different.
And that's just a teeny, tiny change, right?

*eye roll*

And that's just a teeny, tiny change, right?

*eye roll*
Insignificant, because when a woman describes herself she is not describing men, so anything that can be said about men is beside the point. Besides, the only thing that the ladder theory says about men is that they value women, which should be fairly trivial. The marginally interesting point in the theory is that you don't increase a woman's interest in you by talking.

I've just been skipped haven't I? :(

Click the liiiiiink....Wiki knows aaaaallll...

I'll be damned. There's a name for it. Where's my stalker? I need to show her this.

I'll be damned. There's a name for it. Where's my stalker? I need to show her this.

Seems theres a name for everything these days.

Where I live, "slut" refers to a person who is promiscuous. I'm happy to say that, at least within my little community, we've gotten rid of the double standard when it comes to that word.

She is a slut. He is a slut. One tiny victory for humankind. :D

Oh righto then. I'm Australian, I'm allowed to be behind the times.