NationStates Jolt Archive

Here's a question that I think most of you will have fun answering:

If it were legal to have your dead body disposed of in any way you wanted, how would you have it done? You can include anything you want done to the corpse, any special burial ceremonies, whatever you say goes. If you want, you could add the way you want to die, I don't care.

It can be a serious answer, or it can be something made up for the amusement of the readers.

I either want to be cremated and put into a firework, or cremated and put into a snow globe.

I'd quite like to get completely pwned by the Bungie team, then corpse humped by them, just for the post-mortem honour of being corpse humped by the Bungie team :)

Cremation.

I'd like to have my friends enter me in the Special Olympics, with "death" as my disability.

I'm an organ donor. Other than that I don't care.

Burry me in a cardboard box. No reason for my family to throw away money on the corrupt mortician industry.

I would like to be prepared as the main course at a banquet held in my honor. I was thinking something along the lines of being slow roasted over a low fire with lots of Ooga Booga barbeque sauce spread on for a nice glaze.

If it were possible Id just have my corpse dragged to the curb and let the city dispose of it same as any other refuse that has reached the end of it's service life. As things stand now I'll be cremated and i will hopefully finished a stainless steel boat I started making to carry my ashes many years ago. The boat should hold my ashes and (If my family has paid any attention whatsoever to my wishes) be set adrift at sea well out of sight of land and then the living should turn their backs and head back to land. My boat should stay afloat for about a half a day to a day before sinking depending on the sea's mood on that day.

I want my body to be harvested for usable organs for those who needs them, and the rest the scientists can have.
That way I can be of some service after I die too, and who could ask for more than that?

The problem with this question is that I don't get to experience the desired effect, so it is rather meaningless.

If I were able to look down upon my dead body, I would want it placed standing in the center of a clear fiberglass ball, then blown up.

Two words: Funeral Pile.

I either want to be cremated and put into a firework, or cremated and put into a snow globe.
I'm stealing your snow globe idea.

Well, my fantasy has always been to be mummified. Im a HUGE egypt fanatic and I'm just fascinated by their myths and rituals. I am Christian, so it could cause a conflict, but its more of an interest than a spiritual thing. I'm sure it would be forgiven. :D

After all viable organs and tissues were harvested, I don't care what you do with it. It's an empty shell and has no further value. Hell, freeze dry me, then roll me and smoke me for all I care.

The whole burial thing is so much supersitition and takes up so much land. What, really, is the point? Not that religion needs a point, but still, why such a wasteful practice? And have you seen how people get anally raped at funeral parlors? Five grand for something you're gonna stick a corpse in a bury -- with PILLOWS INSIDE IT?!?

I realize that a death in the family is an obvious sense-shredder, and rightly so, but PILLOWS?!?

I like the mummy idea (I am also a huge Egypt fan - if you can't tell). I love archaeology, and I think it would be so cool to be discovered thousands of years from now and have the future learn of the past by studying ME. :)

If it were legal to have your dead body disposed of in any way you wanted, how would you have it done? You can include anything you want done to the corpse, any special burial ceremonies, whatever you say goes. If you want, you could add the way you want to die, I don't care.

It can be a serious answer, or it can be something made up for the amusement of the readers.
Just a military funeral for this old corpse. I earned it, and I want it. :p

I want my body to be harvested for usable organs for those who needs them, and the rest the scientists can have.
That way I can be of some service after I die too, and who could ask for more than that?

Exactly.

Turned into a gem...Then....ummm...I dunno, used in a prophecy or something?

Put in my coffin face down.

That way everyone can kiss my ass.:sniper:

After organ donation, cremation. The ashes to be tossed to the wind.


I'm not a big fan of rotting. Nor do I wish to be worm food.

Just before I die, set me adrift on an ice floe.

I'm going to be left in a luke-warm bath for a month, then dumped in a children's playground.

The Republicans today announced that they are changing their emblem from an elephant to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects their political stance:
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed.
Unlike the Democrats, who will never give up their Jackass. :D

After organ donation, cremation. The ashes to be tossed to the wind.


I'm not a big fan of rotting. Nor do I wish to be worm food.

But worms are awesome!

I'm going to be left in a luke-warm bath for a month, then dumped in a children's playground.


"Here lies Stew"

Unlike the Democrats, who will never give up their Jackass. :D

I'm going to stop you right here with a little statement:

Post count: inversely proportional to size/ effectiveness of genitalia. PWNT.

But worms are awesome!

Whatev, Maud Dib.

The Republicans today announced that they are changing their emblem from an elephant to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects their political stance:
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed.

Way to post an opinion on an unrelated topic there, buddy.

Post count: inversely proportional to size/ effectiveness of genitalia.

Yay!!!

I'm going to stop you right here with a little statement:

Post count: inversely proportional to size/ effectiveness of genitalia. PWNT.

So you're saying your wang is getting smaller every time you post?
:eek: You may want to do something about that.:p

Way to post an opinion on an unrelated topic there, buddy.
He was quoting someone's sig.

So you're saying your wang is getting smaller every time you post?
:eek: You may want to do something about that.:p

As soon as I hit 1,000 I start afresh. :D

Burial. I don't care what in though.

Yay!!!

It's so big!

I'm going to stop you right here with a little statement:

Post count: inversely proportional to size/ effectiveness of genitalia. PWNT.

What would that mean for females? ...That'd be a little weird.

What would that mean for females? ...That'd be a little weird.

Note I said effectiveness. I guess with females they just lose sensation or soemthing.

...That'd be a little weird.

Hey United Time Lords? You just creeped out Dinaverg...:eek:
Go get therapy now!:D

I'm going to stop you right here with a little statement:

Post count: inversely proportional to size/ effectiveness of genitalia. PWNT.

So if I have a post count of zero every time I have sex with someone who doesnt post here she would get pregneant?

That is taking sex far too seriously for me.

Hey United Time Lords? You just creeped out Dinaverg...:eek:
Go get therapy now!:D

Sigged for entry as evidence in a court of law.

Become an art piece through plastination. Gunther von Hagens' Bodyworlds (http://www.bodyworlds.com/index.html) exhibitions are fucking crazy!!! :eek:

Clothed in a superman outfit and dropped from a plane.

Clothed in a superman outfit and dropped from a plane.

LOL!!!

Clothed in a superman outfit and dropped from a plane.

Pilot at the inquest: "As God is my witness I thought Superman could fly!"

Attorney: Didnt you notice that he was stiff as a board?

Pilot: Well he IS the man of steel after all isnt he?

Pilot at the inquest: "As God is my witness I thought Superman could fly!"

:D

I'd like to be stuffed in a standing position wearing my regular clothes. Then, stick me in the corner of my family's guest room, behind the door, so that I can surprise people after I'm dead.:D

Turned into a diamond.

Pilot at the inquest: "As God is my witness I thought Superman could fly!"
:D Ok for that and a fluffle I'll send you another pic if you send the CORRECT email address to me. :cool:

I'd like to be ground up and used as fertilizer for the most potent strain of marijuana ever developed!!!

I'd like to be ground up and used as fertilizer for the most potent strain of marijuana ever developed!!!

That's from a movie, isn't it?

This thread is the Million Fluffle March.

Us flufflers have been judged and abused for as long as I can remember. I am sick of it!

Please help me in the fight for flufflism.

Post as many fluffles a day as possible.

We will get the message across!

FLUFFLE POWER!

:fluffle:

Yay! Ruffy is on the side of Flufflers now!
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

That's from a movie, isn't it?

Ahhh crap, is it really? I guess it could be, though I've never seen the movie!!! Dammit, I'm an unintentional plagiarist; an involuntary idea hijacker!

my body is being donated to the Body Farm. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Farm) My family thinks I am crazy, so I had legal papers written up to make sure it happens. ;)

my body is being donated to the Body Farm. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Farm) My family thinks I am crazy, so I had legal papers written up to make sure it happens. ;)


:eek: Over my dead body! No wait...

my body is being donated to the Body Farm. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_Farm) My family thinks I am crazy, so I had legal papers written up to make sure it happens. ;)

Good gawd I bet that place stinks! 3 acres and many many bodies left in various situations to decompose naturally over time.

I want to be fermented into a highly potent liquor.

:D Ok for that and a fluffle I'll send you another pic if you send the CORRECT email address to me. :cool:

OK deal. :fluffle:

Good gawd I bet that place stinks! 3 acres and many many bodies left in various situations to decompose naturally over time.
yeah, nothing like the smell of decomp in the morning, however since I will be dead and left to rot anyway, I might as well rot for a purpose. ;)

It's going to actually be cheaper to get my body to them than it would be to burn or bury me, so it's really a money saving venture if the thought of it irks you.

My husband is onboard with it, the legal stuff is basically to get my family to leave him alone about it, and in case he dies first so that they will leave my kids alone about it.

hopefully it involves stuffing a bomb in it and dropping it off in the middle of a city occupied by enemies of my country, that way when they come to desecrate it they are in for a suprise. :p

I wanna be an organ donor. Also, I'd donate the rest of my body to science if they wanted it. Any remains after that I'd want to be cremated and buried.

It's going to actually be cheaper to get my body to them than it would be to burn or bury me, so it's really a money saving venture if the thought of it irks you.



The thought of it doesnt irk me. The smell would if I was within 30 miles downwind I think.

Im surprised that the body farm doesnt pay for, and indeed handle the transportation of the volunteers itself in order to get the freshest and least handled, autopsied, refrigerated, or otherwise altered bodies that are available to study.

I suspect they might wish to be notified immediately upon your death so that they might intervene before the coroner does anything to your corpse that might skew your decomposition and render your data less useful than it might be.

Lets hope your arrival at the body farm is very far into the future in any case.

I wanna be an organ donor. Also, I'd donate the rest of my body to science if they wanted it. Any remains after that I'd want to be cremated and buried.

You want it all!

ok there are two parts here so listen up the firtst part is my body the other is all my valubale possessions.

ok i want my body incased in diamond then thrown into the deepest ravine in the ocean.

as for my possessions i want to have them stored in some random out of the way place. then i want the video of my will to be aired on every tv station possible i want it to say this

ok all i have is yours... you just have to find it
and have a bunch of other stuff that makes it me look like an ass. then in my ranting have a clue to find it all. then they have to find out about myself to find the location. it will be like natinal treasure neets rat race. funny to watch.

You want it all!

I want to bury my cake and eat it too.

I wish to be paid in advance for the use of my body by necrophiles. I'll be dead, what will I care?

I'd like my corpse to be fed to some sort of carnivorous animal...preferably some wolves, but any creature will do.

Barring that, just cremate me and scatter my ashes, preferably somewhere in the Dolomite Mountains in northern Italy.

http://www.rvtoureurope.com/Salzb_VillachRd.jpg

well I'll be dead so I won't really be able to care what happens to my body, but I would like to be buried next to my deceased uncle and my grandparents

I'd like to have my friends enter me in the Special Olympics, with "death" as my disability.
Laughing, and laughing HARD. Thank you.

Zombies are people too, dead people.

What would that mean for females? ...That'd be a little weird.
Their vaginas would get smaller. As we all know, that increases the vagina's effectiveness. In order to decrease in effectiveness, the vagina must be enlarged...but we are only allowed to shrink it, which makes it more effective...

Boys, it is time to set our heads to explode. *head explodes*

Just toss me into the lava near Kilauea. That way I get recycled almost immediately AND I get to wind up in Hawaii.

I thought long and hard and decided that I want to be fired from a cannon into the computer that hosts jolt.co.uk

I'd want my organs donating and my body cremating

I wanna be an organ donor. Also, I'd donate the rest of my body to science if they wanted it. Any remains after that I'd want to be cremated and buried.
after you donate your organs you are pretty much useless for any traditional learning so "science" in the strict sense won't take you. However you can still donate what's left to the Body Farm, they will use whatever they can get, sometimes they just chop off your arm and leave it in a nonfunctioning deep freeze in 100F weather for 2 weeks, just to see what would happen to it. ;) You would still be educating people :D

I want my naked corpse shot out of a canon.

On my naked, dead ass, I want the following painted:

"Your Ad Here".

I thought long and hard and decided that I want to be fired from a cannon into the computer that hosts jolt.co.uk

LOL

Dilbert: When I die I want to be buried, not cremated, so I can make at least one lasting impression on the earth.
Dogbert: I was planning to mail your corpse to someone I don't like.

I want to donate my organs. Then I want to be stuffed and placed in a prominent political location, like the White House. I want to be placed on a pedestal facing the president's desk and have my face twisted into a permanent evil stare.

Whatever the people I care about would prefer. Why should I care?
(though I do like the idea of donating organs and such stuff)

I don't expect my remains to ever be found. But if they are, I would like to be compressed into a diamond.

Here's a question that I think most of you will have fun answering:

If it were legal to have your dead body disposed of in any way you wanted, how would you have it done? You can include anything you want done to the corpse, any special burial ceremonies, whatever you say goes. If you want, you could add the way you want to die, I don't care.

It can be a serious answer, or it can be something made up for the amusement of the readers.Cremated, then have the ashes made into a gemstone.

no no no. u got to have it carried up a mountin to YMCA. dress code is strictly pink. it has to be done on the coldest day of the year in wales. oh and did i mention that the army has to take pot shots at the attendants. :mp5:

thats wot i call a funeral :D

ooo the possabilities

take out all my organs, give them to people that need them, first of all.

Then.

1) brew beer inside my shell and sell it as "dead man's brew" Maybe even instill a tap in my mouth. Or get really tricky and have 2 different kinds in my body and have the taps in the eyes or ears :)

2) Stuffed and used as a prop in haunted houses :D

3) the snowglobe idea :)

4) I do like the idea of being placed in a boat of some kind and just being pushed out to sea (honestly!)

Definatly want to go with the viking style body on a burning boat at sunset funeral. Then the mourners must drink alot of mead and fill a quota of rape and pillage before the sun rises the following day.

Not only do I get a cool funeral but all the sods who outlived me will end up in jail for the raping and pillaging. It's win-win for me really.

Aerou made a topic like this a long time ago.:)
I shall never die by mortal hands!

I wish to be fossilised in a comprmisiong position with a memeber of the oppostie sex

Here's a question that I think most of you will have fun answering:

If it were legal to have your dead body disposed of in any way you wanted, how would you have it done? You can include anything you want done to the corpse, any special burial ceremonies, whatever you say goes. If you want, you could add the way you want to die, I don't care.

It can be a serious answer, or it can be something made up for the amusement of the readers.

I already have arrangements to be cremated, and the ashes fired from a muzzleloading cannon.

I'm an organ donor too, so after my death, I'd hope they'd take any viable organs and put them to good use. After that, preferably cremation with Don't Stop Me Now by Queen played as the coffin (or alternative box) slides into the oven (I'm serious). However, since I'll be dead, what happens to my body really doesn't matter that much; throw it to the dogs for all I'm going to care.

I don't care. It's not like I'll notice.

I just want to participate in the carbon cycle. Always did, always will.
Fertilizing a patch of ground is pretty good, providing something grows there.
My body being eaten by wild animals is fine, too.

Did I mention, I don't care much? I'm dead, right? What business of mine is it.

One word "zombie" When I die I will have my tomb stone read "here lies *name withheld* but not for long muhahahahaha"

Cryonics. I want my head removed from my body and both parts frozen, separately because the minimal-damage method of freezing that can be done on the brain can't be done on the body.

This is if I die at all.

strange and unusual things.... ;)

......

I want very specific things done with my body. I want a speaker placed in my mouth and attached to an MP3 player. I want hydraulics placed in my limbs and jaw. I want to be buried in a coffin with a lid, once again, on hydraulics, which will be buried so that the lid protrudes from the ground. The coffin must be no more than a metre from the path, with the feet pointing towards it. Set into the foot of the coffin will be a motion sensor attached to the hydraulic controls.

When an unsuspecting person walks past the coffin, they will trigger the motion sensor. The lid of the coffin will flip open, and my corpse will lurch from its resting place with an eerie moan.

"Brrrraaaaaiiiiinnnnnnsssssss!"

Ahhh crap, is it really? I guess it could be, though I've never seen the movie!!! Dammit, I'm an unintentional plagiarist; an involuntary idea hijacker!

I can't remember what it was called. But it's got these two university students who try growing marijuana from the grave of some famous author in the hopes that it'll get them better grades if they smoke it.

....

Yeah, it wasn't very good.

If it were legal to have your dead body disposed of in any way you wanted, how would you have it done? You can include anything you want done to the corpse, any special burial ceremonies, whatever you say goes. If you want, you could add the way you want to die, I don't care.
I'd want part of my ashes to be interred in a regular grave so people would have something tangible (I've found that helps) and have the rest spread in some yet-to-be-determined beautiful, desert-y spot.

Now if I can just find a way to reduce myself to ashes without actually having to be burned, I'll be all set. :p

strange and unusual things.... ;)

......
By me?
My Irish Darling.
-----------------------------------------------------
I'd like to be sent through the Stargate into space.

I want my body stuffed by the best taxidermist in all the land. Then my family can set me in my Barcalounger, facing the TV, where I can keep watch over my family (and the Andy Griffith show) and where I can creep out the rest of the neighborhood.

As far as I'm concerned it'd be fun to have it burn on a floating funeral pyre, but really I'm not too worried about it. The diffusion of the particles that make up my body will happen one way or another.

I want to be cremated.

I can't remember what it was called. But it's got these two university students who try growing marijuana from the grave of some famous author in the hopes that it'll get them better grades if they smoke it.

....

Yeah, it wasn't very good.

are you refering to 'how high' I think it was?

Deviled Gartref.

Boil until center is medium rare. Let cool, and fully peel. Scoop out contents and mix with Mayonnaise, sweet relish and lemon juice. Replace contents. Sprinkle with paprika. Serves 20.

I want to be cremated and have my ashes and all evidence of my having existed disposed of in a vat of acid.

Deviled Gartref.

Boil until center is medium rare. Let cool, and fully peel. Scoop out contents and mix with Mayonnaise, sweet relish and lemon juice. Replace contents. Sprinkle with paprika. Serves 20.

I'd suggest substituting dill relish for sweet relish. Sweet relish and lemon juice don't get along all that well.

I'd suggest substituting dill relish for sweet relish. Sweet relish and lemon juice don't get along all that well.

Dill is forbidden by my religious beliefs.

Matthew 23:23 "Woe to you teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices - mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law - justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former."

Dill is forbidden by my religious beliefs.

Yes, but you're not the one eating of your flesh. And I have no problems with dill. :-)

OK, fine. No desecration of the body about to be ingested with banned substances. Jeez. You'd've tasted better, though.

Yes, but you're not the one eating of your flesh. And I have no problems with dill. :-)

OK, fine. No desecration of the body about to be ingested with banned substances. Jeez. You'd've tasted better, though.

Trust me. When it comes to cooking, I'm no dill-ettante.

Trust me. When it comes to cooking, I'm no dill-ettante.

I mint no disrespect. :)

Outer Space burial, not just Earth orbit. Send me to THE STARS! To boldly go where no corpse has gone before!!!

Full Catholic Mass, NO CREMATION!