NationStates Jolt Archive

Just getting some of my thoughts down really after last night.

One of my best friends ( I have two) had the situation last night of having to discuss with her boyfriend what was going to happen to their relationship come September. Theyre going to be about 5 driving hours apart at different unis. And it turned out that he didnt think it would work. So I got my other best friend, we went and picked her up...got some plastic beakers, some alcohol, and a camping lantern, and went down to the lake near my house. Sat out on the jetty, and just talked into the night.

Now we've been seperated since school, James is at uni, sams been at college and travelling and I've been...well trying to sort out my life. This September I am going to POrtsmouth, Sam is going to Camarthen and James is moving to France. But I know our friendship will last, and I treasure that so much. We may get annoyed with one another when we cant meet up. But its times like last night that make the whole thing worth it.

Do you guys have similar friends or situations that make you feel like that?

i dont have any friends to leave

i dont have any friends to leave
Oh :( Doesn't have anything to do with your name does it?

It depends on how much effort you and your friends put into maintaining the relationship. These days, with instant messaging and e-mail and the ubiquitous cell phone, it ought to be easier, despite distance. I haven't seen anyone I went to high school with in 20 years, at least, we drifted apart into our lives. On the other hand, my lady's mother has gone to every single high school reunion and she graduated in the early 50s. So it can be done, but don't get too bummed if you find yourself with new best friends after a few years. :)

I live in the netherlands, but due to massive amounts of online gaming ;), i currently have friends in the US, Canada, England, Germany and Japan (an englishmen who got send there for his job). Not exactly the same as your situation, but its close :)

It depends on how much effort you and your friends put into maintaining the relationship. These days, with instant messaging and e-mail and the ubiquitous cell phone, it ought to be easier, despite distance. I haven't seen anyone I went to high school with in 20 years, at least, we drifted apart into our lives. On the other hand, my lady's mother has gone to every single high school reunion and she graduated in the early 50s. So it can be done, but don't get too bummed if you find yourself with new best friends after a few years. :)
I wasn't saying it because I wanted advice about whether we'll last or not. I have no worry that we will. I was more after other peoples good memories or friendship stories :)

I have no doubt that I'll make new close friends, I'm awesome :p

Ahem

Just getting some of my thoughts down really after last night.

One of my best friends ( I have two) had the situation last night of having to discuss with her boyfriend what was going to happen to their relationship come September. Theyre going to be about 5 driving hours apart at different unis. And it turned out that he didnt think it would work. So I got my other best friend, we went and picked her up...got some plastic beakers, some alcohol, and a camping lantern, and went down to the lake near my house. Sat out on the jetty, and just talked into the night.

Now we've been seperated since school, James is at uni, sams been at college and travelling and I've been...well trying to sort out my life. This September I am going to POrtsmouth, Sam is going to Camarthen and James is moving to France. But I know our friendship will last, and I treasure that so much. We may get annoyed with one another when we cant meet up. But its times like last night that make the whole thing worth it.

Do you guys have similar friends or situations that make you feel like that?

Yes completely. When I was 16 one of my best friends moved to Russia. We're in contact all the time. Another friend went to college in Scotland and another went to France and everytime I see them its like they never left. Longdistance Friendships are totally workable. You just have to remember to keep emailing and call every now and again. I suggest you get Skype. You never know how strong your friendship is with someone until you've stood teh distance test.

I live in the netherlands, but due to massive amounts of online gaming ;), i currently have friends in the US, Canada, England, Germany and Japan (an englishmen who got send there for his job). Not exactly the same as your situation, but its close :)
Have you met any of these people out of interest?

I live in the netherlands, but due to massive amounts of online gaming ;), i currently have friends in the US, Canada, England, Germany and Japan (an englishmen who got send there for his job). Not exactly the same as your situation, but its close :)

You sound just like my friend. He knows people from all over Europe because of online gaming.

It's all about staying in touch, and in each other's "loops"...
I suggest IM, and meeting up at least for each other's birthdays :)

Yes completely. When I was 16 one of my best friends moved to Russia. We're in contact all the time. Another friend went to college in Scotland and another went to France and everytime I see them its like they never left. Longdistance Friendships are totally workable. You just have to remember to keep emailing and call every now and again. I suggest you get Skype. You never know how strong your friendship is with someone until you've stood teh distance test.
Mmm, ok...explain what this Skype thing is because I keep hearing about it and I have no idea what it is. I'm normally up on my technology!

Just getting some of my thoughts down really after last night.

One of my best friends ( I have two) had the situation last night of having to discuss with her boyfriend what was going to happen to their relationship come September. Theyre going to be about 5 driving hours apart at different unis. And it turned out that he didnt think it would work. So I got my other best friend, we went and picked her up...got some plastic beakers, some alcohol, and a camping lantern, and went down to the lake near my house. Sat out on the jetty, and just talked into the night.

Now we've been seperated since school, James is at uni, sams been at college and travelling and I've been...well trying to sort out my life. This September I am going to POrtsmouth, Sam is going to Camarthen and James is moving to France. But I know our friendship will last, and I treasure that so much. We may get annoyed with one another when we cant meet up. But its times like last night that make the whole thing worth it.

Do you guys have similar friends or situations that make you feel like that?

I dont know. My best friend in the whole world (Lady) keeps making terrible decisions, and I can't stand to sit back and watch as she does all the things she vowed years ago to never do. Her family life sucks, but she had an opportunity to fix it, and passed it up. What can I do? I have to remove myself a little, I get too emotionally invested in people. Plus, we've both changed so much since being in college. I'll always care about her, but our friendship is just completely different.

My other best friend in high school was my boyfriend (i dated him for 4 years :eek: ). College changed my relationship with him, too, tho. In the end I broke up with him, cuz things were so different. We don't talk any more, really, cuz its just so complicated. Thus, my 2 closest friends from highschool have drifted very far apart from me. I had one other good friend in highschool (the princess), but she and i are already very different. Ironically, tho, I think we shall remain good friends forever, but not really in the same way as my other friends. Regardless, I'll always have excellent memories of Lady and Princess and my ex.

I have very dear friends from college, but those friendship are too new for me to answer this question.

It's all about staying in touch, and in each other's "loops"...
I suggest IM, and meeting up at least for each other's birthdays :)
We do...I'm not panicing about it, we get on so well the 3 of us that it'll never break. We've got that understanding that we cant always see one another and no matter how long it is we're always totally relaxed together.

Just getting some of my thoughts down really after last night.
...
Do you guys have similar friends or situations that make you feel like that?

No wonder you don't have time to read the rules.
You have a life. The kind of life people are always telling each other to get.

<wheeze> reminds me of a dylan song "bob dylan's dream" </wheeze>

It's a hard call. Do what your career tells you to do, try to stay in touch with the sit-on-the-jetty friends. It will hurt, and not just now. What might have been will always hurt.
What a stupid world it is. If only you could all pursue your studies without having to move apart.

I have no doubt that I'll make new close friends, I'm awesome :p

Ahem
LOL. Quoted for truth. and modesty!

I dont know. My best friend in the whole world (Lady) keeps making terrible decisions, and I can't stand to sit back and watch as she does all the things she vowed years ago to never do. Her family life sucks, but she had an opportunity to fix it, and passed it up. What can I do? I have to remove myself a little, I get too emotionally invested in people. Plus, we've both changed so much since being in college. I'll always care about her, but our friendship is just completely different.

My other best friend in high school was my boyfriend (i dated him for 4 years :eek: ). College changed my relationship with him, too, tho. In the end I broke up with him, cuz things were so different. We don't talk any more, really, cuz its just so complicated. Thus, my 2 closest friends from highschool have drifted very far apart from me. I had one other good friend in highschool (the princess), but she and i are already very different. Ironically, tho, I think we shall remain good friends forever, but not really in the same way as my other friends. Regardless, I'll always have excellent memories of Lady and Princess and my ex.

I have very dear friends from college, but those friendship are too new for me to answer this question.
I guess peoples experiences do change people. It's still too soon for me to class my ex as a friend, being just over a month since we ended I still find it hard to detatch from the relationship but I want to remain friends with him...although he changed towards the end.

My best friend from high school and I ended up in different states for uni (not surprising really, since high school was in Europe but we both went back to the U.S. for college). At first we kept in contact fairly well, talking online frequently with occasional phone calls. But after the first few months, we started talking less and less, until we started going months without speaking. But, whenever we do talk it's like nothing's changed. We still talk about everything, and we still call each other if we have big problems to discuss. I visited her over my Christmas break three years ago, and had sooo much fun. Two years ago we were both in France to study abroad, and met up in Paris for a weekend. We might not talk very often anymore, but when we do it's as though we were never apart. :)

No wonder you don't have time to read the rules.
You have a life. The kind of life people are always telling each other to get.

<wheeze> reminds me of a dylan song "bob dylan's dream" </wheeze>

It's a hard call. Do what your career tells you to do, try to stay in touch with the sit-on-the-jetty friends. It will hurt, and not just now. What might have been will always hurt.
What a stupid world it is. If only you could all pursue your studies without having to move apart.
Moving will change us all, you cant spend your entire life in once place. I love experiencing things. I think I worded my story wrong lol, I dont worry about losing them, I just wanted to know if other people had the same good friends and good times really.

And yes I like to think I have a life :)

LOL. Quoted for truth. and modesty!
Thanks chick :p

My best friend from high school and I ended up in different states for uni (not surprising really, since high school was in Europe but we both went back to the U.S. for college). At first we kept in contact fairly well, talking online frequently with occasional phone calls. But after the first few months, we started talking less and less, but whenever we do talk it's like nothing's changed. We still talk about everything, and we still call each other if we have big problems to discuss. I visited her over my Christmas break three years ago, and had sooo much fun. Two years ago we were both in France to study abroad, and met up in Paris for a weekend. We might not talk very often anymore, but when we do it's as though we were never apart. :)
See thats good. It's nice to have that.

We do...I'm not panicing about it, we get on so well the 3 of us that it'll never break. We've got that understanding that we cant always see one another and no matter how long it is we're always totally relaxed together.

Ah, that's a good way to be :)

As long as you keep it up, you'll be fine :)
I've felt that I have drifted from some of my old friends a bit, and it's sad :(

C'est la vie.

I guess peoples experiences do change people. It's still too soon for me to class my ex as a friend, being just over a month since we ended I still find it hard to detatch from the relationship but I want to remain friends with him...although he changed towards the end.
exactly. The difficulty of detatching necessitated that we not speak. But he was my best friend thru out high school, in addition to being my boyfriend, and I desperately wish we could remain friends. Its hard to lose a lover, but so much worse to lose a lover and close friend.

Theres no point in making friends if you are just going to stop talking once you go separate ways.

If you are really great friends it won't matter. My best friend from age 7 until 17 moved from Nova Scotia, Canada to Phoenix. We are both now married and coincidently both expecting our first children right now. There was a streak where we didn't speak/email for about 10 mths. The 1st call thereafter and it was like we spoke the day before.

I moved away to Toronto (19 hour drive away) for 5 years. I moved back to Halifax last June and picked up with friends just like I hadn't left.

Distance doesn’t matter, due to technology the world is shrinking. Real friends last forever!

NP, haven't you learned by now that any thread you start will turn into a massive spamfest?

It's a gift. And a curse.

Theres no point in making friends if you are just going to stop talking once you go separate ways.
Mmm, valid point! It's easy to go into a new relationship and put them to the back of your mind, and thats something I've been quite careful not to do. I had a close friend that I'm still friends with now, who puts nothing before her bloke. And thats one good way of diminishing a friendship!

NP, haven't you learned by now that any thread you start will turn into a massive spamfest?

It's a gift. And a curse.
Well yes...maybe I like the spam...If I start with a meaningful thought, and provoke some heartfelt responses, get to know a few people a little better and then decrease into the spam, thats fine...and hopefully no one will notice ;)

If you are really great friends it won't matter. My best friend from age 7 until 17 moved from Nova Scotia, Canada to Phoenix. We are both now married and coincidently both expecting our first children right now. There was a streak where we didn't speak/email for about 10 mths. The 1st call thereafter and it was like we spoke the day before.

I moved away to Toronto (19 hour drive away) for 5 years. I moved back to Halifax last June and picked up with friends just like I hadn't left.

Distance doesn’t matter, due to technology the world is shrinking. Real friends last forever!
Very true, I like that idea. I want to be like that!

NP, haven't you learned by now that any thread you start will turn into a massive spamfest?

It's a gift. And a curse.
Mostly a gift. After all, look at the wicked cool (or lush!!!) people who spam her lovely threads

NP, haven't you learned by now that any thread you start will turn into a massive spamfest?

It's a gift. And a curse.

already a spam fest!!! its only two pages old!

already a spam fest!!! its only two pages old!
how is it a spamfest? the question was about frienships, nearly everyone is talking about that

how is it a spamfest? the question was about frienships, nearly everyone is talking about that

just read this NP, haven't you learned by now that any thread you start will turn into a massive spamfest?

It's a gift. And a curse.

i havent actually read the tread yet...

I donno, I have a similar problem. One of my best friends moved 1200 miles away. We write each other letters every week and I don't have a PO box at the university so I drive home and pick them up, then drive back (3 hour drive). It takes me about 18 hours to drive from my house to her house, but I still do it a few times a year, or whenever I have time. It's a bit difficult, but its definatly worth it if they're very close friends. Sure, you won't get to see them as often, but that makes the times that you do see them all the more special the way I look at it. We've been doing this for the past 3 years or so.

Do you guys have similar friends or situations that make you feel like that?
Yeah...
Some of my very best friends just moved away, and another will move in just a couple of days. I'm going to miss them all terribly, but the only thing to do is keep in touch via IM, mail, phone, letters, and random visits.

But it can be hard to let people you love go their own ways. Strange to suddenly not being an important, everyday part of their lives. Scary not to have the people you know and trust around to watch your back and take care of you - and vice versa. Lonesome not to have them around you anymore.

I don't like it. I want to keep my dear friends near :(

I'm glad I'm soon going to visit the people who have gone, and I'm going to party with the girl who's leaving next week :)

Also, I have to mention that I have a close friend I haven't seen in ten years now... We're still keeping in touch ;)

just read this

i havent actually read the tread yet...

The words you are looking for are "mea culpa."
Or if you aren't comfortable with latin: "my bad."

EDIT: these New Peeland threads are getting better and less spammy. I'm not helping right now, so mea culpa, and goodnight.

LOL, I live in the Southeast US. None of my friends are moving to Europe, I'm pretty sure. Maybe Costa Rica, but not Europe. However, I have had friends move. For instance, I and my old roomate's girl, who I was incidentally sleeping with, since he cheated on her, were best friends. Absolutely tight. Then we both joined the military, she ended up going to Georgia, I went to Oklahoma, and by the time I got back to South Carolina and saw her again she was getting married and was pregnant. Moral of the story, don't join the military full-time and expect anything to stay the same. That's why I'm in the guard now :) . I like my surfer bar-hopping buddies too much to go to France or North Dakota.

Just getting some of my thoughts down really after last night.

One of my best friends ( I have two) had the situation last night of having to discuss with her boyfriend what was going to happen to their relationship come September. Theyre going to be about 5 driving hours apart at different unis. And it turned out that he didnt think it would work. So I got my other best friend, we went and picked her up...got some plastic beakers, some alcohol, and a camping lantern, and went down to the lake near my house. Sat out on the jetty, and just talked into the night.

Now we've been seperated since school, James is at uni, sams been at college and travelling and I've been...well trying to sort out my life. This September I am going to POrtsmouth, Sam is going to Camarthen and James is moving to France. But I know our friendship will last, and I treasure that so much. We may get annoyed with one another when we cant meet up. But its times like last night that make the whole thing worth it.

Do you guys have similar friends or situations that make you feel like that?

I have 2 really close friends that I've been friends with for 10 years. One is my best friend from school here in the uk, and the other from school on Australia, although we met through an ex of mine. Although we're on opposite ends of the earth at times, we still manage to stay in touch, and though we go through bouts of quitness and not hearing from each other, eventually you catch up, and it's all good. We'd do anything for each other, we truly would.

The words you are looking for are "mea culpa."
Or if you aren't comfortable with latin: "my bad."
*notes for future reference*

The words you are looking for are "mea culpa."
Or if you aren't comfortable with latin: "my bad."

mea culpa, hmm has a nice ring to it

*writes down*

Not to bring everything down, but I've always sucked at keeping in touch. Bad. I try. Usually I'm good for about a month. There's something about writing letters that just seems like so much work. I don't know what it is. And when people aren't directly in my life they just start to fade....

I don't know. I am currently a year away from the momentous "university" juncture, however my feeling is that, whilst I may conciously and advertantly maintain contact with one or two of my current friends, most will be eschewed.

Given that old best friend is now essentially an estranged acquaintaince having now attended different sicth forms for a year, the prospects are not exceptional.

I have 2 really close friends that I've been friends with for 10 years. One is my best friend from school here in the uk, and the other from school on Australia, although we met through an ex of mine. Although we're on opposite ends of the earth at times, we still manage to stay in touch, and though we go through bouts of quitness and not hearing from each other, eventually you catch up, and it's all good. We'd do anything for each other, we truly would.
In my own experience, that's much more common among females than it is among males. Most male friendships I've had centered around work or some other organized activity.

I live in Florida, I have friends here but my best friends live in Virginia and California respectively so it is possible to maintain a friendship from a distance.

Not to bring everything down, but I've always sucked at keeping in touch. Bad. I try. Usually I'm good for about a month. There's something about writing letters that just seems like so much work. I don't know what it is. And when people aren't directly in my life they just start to fade....

You're not Robinson Crusoe there. Or .. maybe ..

Dammit, you really let your sense of humour loose when you chose that name, didn't you?

:fluffle:

You're not Robinson Crusoe there. Or .. maybe ..

Dammit, you really let your sense of humour loose when you chose that name, didn't you?

:fluffle:
*laughs* You say that like you know me. I'm just surprised no one else thought of it first.

Ah, that's a good way to be :)

As long as you keep it up, you'll be fine :)
I've felt that I have drifted from some of my old friends a bit, and it's sad :(

C'est la vie.

I agree. Keep in touch with as many friends as you can.
:fluffle: to TBD

I have several close friends that live in Taiwan and China, but I live in the US, so, we contact through email. Since we're many hours apart using the phone isn't the most effective source of communication, plus you have to dial so many numbers just to get to their number.