The Chav Olympics
Insane Leftists
14-07-2006, 20:07
Not a copycat thread!
First, pick the UK city where the Chav Olympics should be held (and indicate the shopping mall, as we won't hold it in a stadium).
Next, pick the music that would be the theme song of the Chav Olympics.
And finally, describe some of the events you would see at the Chav Olympics, and give us a sample narration of the coverage.
Philosopy
14-07-2006, 20:09
It has to be Chatham, the home of the Chav! (seriously, it's where they came from)
The national song should be a really crappy bass drum beat, loud enough to deafen.
Events include 'guess the father of the teenage mother's baby' and 'how big a cheap gold earing can your ear support?'
Tactical Grace
14-07-2006, 20:14
Stockport Arndale Centre and adjoining Bus Station. Accept no substitute.
I V Stalin
14-07-2006, 20:16
I think it should be held in the East End of London (Romford, Ilford, Basildon, etc). Not sure about a theme song, but Philosopy is probably right.
Events could include street racing in pimped Vauxhall Novas. Prizes for most pimped car, with points for biggest rear spoiler, pointless underlighting, go-faster stripes, exhaust size, engine sound...
SHAOLIN9
14-07-2006, 20:21
Not a city - but Basildon in Essex - Eastgate shopping centre. There should be a category for "Best worst-modded Citroen Saxo" and "Fakest Burberry baseball cap". Also there should be some drinking, fighting, thieving, shagging and Kareoke to "I'll see you at the crossroads" (can't remember the name of the chav group who sung that)!:eek:
Tactical Grace
14-07-2006, 20:22
points for biggest rear spoiler
You'll need points for stacking spoilers. These days a single-spoiler car is like a single-bladed shaving razor.
Tricoloor
14-07-2006, 20:28
Not a city - but Basildon in Essex - Eastgate shopping centre. There should be a category for "Best worst-modded Citroen Saxo" and "Fakest Burberry baseball cap". Also there should be some drinking, fighting, thieving, shagging and Kareoke to "I'll see you at the crossroads" (can't remember the name of the chav group who sung that)!:eek:
Twas Blazin' Squad :P
sorry, shouldn't know that....
but anywho; the chavlympics should be held in Scunthorpe, in an ASDA carpark, with catagories for marathon mugging (seeing how many people they can mug in 2 minutes), shooting (obvious really), scrounging (getting as much money from people as possible without the use of violence), beatboxing (:P sorta like real boxing, but a rhythm war), Ford Fiesta racing (with extra points for body kits, vinyls, spoilers etc.), spitting (long distance and high spit), most genital warts (speaks for itself)....I'll leave off there, so, everyone else can have a go now :P
Insane Leftists
14-07-2006, 20:29
Not a city - but Basildon in Essex - Eastgate shopping centre. There should be a category for "Best worst-modded Citroen Saxo" and "Fakest Burberry baseball cap". Also there should be some drinking, fighting, thieving, shagging and Kareoke to "I'll see you at the crossroads" (can't remember the name of the chav group who sung that)!:eek:
Shoplifting contest - who can take the most consumer electronics, CDs, and DVDs without setting off the alarms or being caught by store security cameras.
Fartsniffage
14-07-2006, 20:33
Stockport Arndale Centre and adjoining Bus Station. Accept no substitute.
Thought the Arndale Centre was in Manchester, not Stockport.
Insane Leftists
14-07-2006, 20:38
there would have to be a happy slapping contest
Insane Leftists
14-07-2006, 20:39
projectile vomiting (for distance). screaming matches with their slags.
Emperor Matthuis
14-07-2006, 20:42
Belfry Centre in Redhill.
Maybe Blazin' Squad or Girls Aloud? Not into chav music I'm afraid.
Ford Mondeo racing, most 'pimped' out car, fakest clothing, shiniest bling and most annoying accent.
Gravesend definately. You come here and you'll know why all other ppl want to leave gravesend. But we're winning by pushing them into a very remote corner of the town. Anywy the shopping centre should be nearby Bluewater the biggest shopping centre in Europe....
Insane Leftists
14-07-2006, 20:44
Gravesend definately. You come here and you'll know why all other ppl want to leave gravesend. But we're winning by pushing them into a very remote corner of the town. Anywy the shopping centre should be nearby Bluewater the biggest shopping centre in Europe....
Why not send them all to Hull?
Tactical Grace
14-07-2006, 20:45
Thought the Arndale Centre was in Manchester, not Stockport.
There are several.
Why not send them all to Hull?
Hmm this is interesting...Guess I'm going to have to hire a lot of coaches...
I V Stalin
14-07-2006, 20:56
Gravesend definately. You come here and you'll know why all other ppl want to leave gravesend. But we're winning by pushing them into a very remote corner of the town. Anywy the shopping centre should be nearby Bluewater the biggest shopping centre in Europe....
I thought there was one in Newcastle that was bigger...?
Forsakia
14-07-2006, 20:57
Newport bre!!
We are indeed chav central.
As for events,
most fake burbery worn/held/painted on.
Most swearwords in a sentance.
ooh, how about best wanabee chav? you know, as a runner-up prize?
British Stereotypes
15-07-2006, 13:38
The Happy Slapping Contest.
Harlesburg
15-07-2006, 13:48
100 yards dash with ones pants down by their ankles.
Bodies Without Organs
15-07-2006, 13:50
No joyriding events yet? For shame.
Bronze gets a warning from the boys for anti-social behaviour, the silver gets kneecapped, and the gold undergoes a six pack.
Can't we just legalize chav hunting? Now that would be an interesting sport..
Shyftoria
15-07-2006, 14:02
Why not send them all to Hull?
why not send them all to hell?
I V Stalin
15-07-2006, 14:31
No joyriding events yet? For shame.
Bronze gets a warning from the boys for anti-social behaviour, the silver gets kneecapped, and the gold undergoes a six pack.
I thought you were meant to reward the winners...?