NationStates Jolt Archive

A Siberian farmer has lobbied President Putin to be allowed to marry his cow. He cites the lack of women in his town and the fact that he loves animals.

Marrying cows? Come on now, Russia has to draw the line somewhere. What's next, gay marriage?

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1910872.html?menu=

Why does he have to marry the cow?

Why does he have to marry the cow?
Maybe he wants to make an honest bovine out of her.

Why does he have to marry the cow?

Why, to get the tax breaks, of course.

You know the cow's a slut and will lift her tail for anyone. No need to waste time and money on marriage.

Why does he have to marry the cow?
Because otherwise it just wouldn't be right.

Well, some woman married a dolphin. (I can't remember where that was. I'm sure it wasn't Russia though. Not good dolphin enviroment.)

What's next, gay marriage?
My God, get me Ann Coulter on the phone! This has to be stopped! See? That's what comes of 70 years of gawdless communist atheism! Don't let it happen here! Think of the children!

You know the cow's a slut and will lift her tail for anyone. No need to waste time and money on marriage.

Yeah, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Because otherwise it just wouldn't be right.

I suppose he can't take away the cow's honor by having it before marriage...

Yeah, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
Only if he was also a milk thief would this have been even more appropriate. *applauds* :p

Why does he have to marry the cow?

Maybe he beleives its immoral to have calfs out of wedlock

A Siberian farmer has lobbied President Putin to be allowed to marry his cow. He cites the lack of women in his town and the fact that he loves animals.

Marrying cows? Come on now, Russia has to draw the line somewhere. What's next, gay marriage?

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1910872.html?menu=


Em yuck! Is he proposing to be allowed live as man and wife would? Cos sex with an unconsenting being is not nice. (Is there such thing as cow rape). Should he be given taz breaks because he is married to a cow? Should he and his partner be allowed adopt............silly moo I mean man.

Why does he have to marry the cow?
Maybe he's already knocked her up and is wanting to do the honest thing, before her father finds out.

Em yuck! Is he proposing to be allowed live as man and wife would? Cos sex with an unconsenting being is not nice. (Is there such thing as cow rape). Should he be given taz breaks because he is married to a cow? Should he and his partner be allowed adopt............silly moo I mean man.

The argument for consent is that the cow could easily trample him if it wanted to. I dunno about the others but I just realised where did the cow loving farmer get the money to lobby the President?

Good luck getting the cow to say yes...


Wonder what will be served at the wedding feast? :D

He sold the cows milk.......ya see its a form of moostitution......typical man.

Good luck getting the cow to say yes...


Wonder what will be served at the wedding feast? :D


Obviously chicken.

Good luck getting the cow to say yes...


Wonder what will be served at the wedding feast? :D

What if the cow get tired of him? Will it get his farm in a divorce?

Obviously chicken.
thats how bse started cept twould be pce! and where would the cow buy her wedding gown...who would be her bridesmaid?

What if the cow get tired of him? Will it get his farm in a divorce?
would she get half his assets? Would he get half the milk she produces in the year? Who would get custody of the cowmans/hucows?

Obviously chicken.
Obviously. :p

http://fun.onedot.nl/pics/funnyfilez.webhop.net_eatmorchickin.jpg

Heheh I actualy know a certian American chap who married his horse, plus I know the guy who performed the marriage ceromony!

Heheh I actualy know a certian American chap who married his horse, plus I know the guy who performed the marriage ceromony!
o.O

how is this legal?

Obviously. :p

http://fun.onedot.nl/pics/funnyfilez.webhop.net_eatmorchickin.jpg

Perhaps it will be a fancy feast. Have to have some duck as well.

http://chinadan.com/01duck/duck-roasth.jpg

Obviously. :p

http://fun.onedot.nl/pics/funnyfilez.webhop.net_eatmorchickin.jpg

are those the maids of honour?

are those the maids of honour?
Well, they certainly got the matching outfits. No frills, either, the lucky girls.

are those the maids of honour?

I guess the bachelorette party would have human male strippers?

Not surprising. I mean, if this fellow is interested in having a relationship with a cow, just imagine how he treats the women in his life...can you blame them for running the other way?

How would you feel if he kept trying to milk you?!?!

Not surprising. I mean, if this fellow is interested in having a relationship with a cow, just imagine how he treats the women in his life...can you blame them for running the other way?

How would you feel if he kept trying to milk you?!?!

or shouting out "MOOO for me bitch"
or "who's the bull, who's the bull"

or shouting out "MOOO for me bitch"
or "who's the bull, who's the bull"

I think we have too much imagination on this thread. :D

Dont be surprised when HHMV* starts decimating the people of Asia.







*Human Hoof and Mouth Virus

Dont be surprised when HHMV* starts decimating the people of Asia.


*Human Hoof and Mouth Virus
Good thing that land bridge didn't last, huh?

Dont be surprised when HHMV* starts decimating the people of Asia.


*Human Hoof and Mouth Virus


i don't think that's fair. Who says the farmers got a foot.. sorry hoof fetish.

Good thing that land bridge didn't last, huh?


Ii is still there! I hear that bovines just trampled it flat and then farted and so melted the ice cap over the top of it. They globally warmed that bridge away.

i don't think that's fair. Who says the farmers got a foot.. sorry hoof fetish.

In soviet Russia the hoof fetishes you.

In soviet Russia the hoof fetishes you.
In Soviet Russia, cow marries YOU!

I think we have too much imagination on this thread. :D
Let me break out the imaginometer.
*bep bep bep bep*
*points at Ultracia* -silence-
*points at Cullons* *bep bep bep!*
Oh noes, I'm getting a reading of 12 megaCarreys!

Ii is still there! I hear that bovines just trampled it flat and then farted and so melted the ice cap over the top of it. They globally warmed that bridge away.
Well, now that was an image I didn't need. The Age of Mammals is the Age of Flatulence!

Well, now that was an image I didn't need. The Age of Mammals is the Age of Flatulence!

Cows: They'll be the death of us all! Mark my words!

P.S. Try to only think of the front ends of cows and the images will be less disturbing.

In Soviet Russia, cow marries YOU!
No, in Soviet Russia cow is property of agricultural commune and Commissar of Bovine Relations has final say over who gets to go near cow. From each according to Bovinity, to each according to Udder Need.

He hadn't had drugs his whole life I hear.

Cows: They'll be the death of us all! Mark my words!

P.S. Try to only think of the front ends of cows and the images will be less disturbing.
Thanks, but too late *wanders off shaking head*

Well, some woman married a dolphin. (I can't remember where that was. I'm sure it wasn't Russia though. Not good dolphin enviroment.)

I dunno... the rare Siberian dolphin is a nasty critter, ready to spring from the sand onto unsuspecting travellers.

Cows: They'll be the death of us all! Mark my words!

P.S. Try to only think of the front ends of cows and the images will be less disturbing.

i guess you right (http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/754550/2/istockphoto_754550_animal_cow_bum.jpg)

I think everyone in this thread caught Pee Wee's Playhouse last night.

i guess you right (http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/754550/2/istockphoto_754550_animal_cow_bum.jpg)
:eek: :eek: :eek:

I think everyone in this thread caught Pee Wee's Playhouse last night.

Thanks to modren chemistry and medicine antibiotics can now clear this disease up in a matter of weeks.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I was going to warn you but it was too late.

Youve already had yourself a peep show at the south end of a northbound cow.

Why marry a cow?
Can't he get the milk for free?

I was going to warn you but it was too late.

Youve already had yourself a peep show at the south end of a northbound cow.

hehehe :D
i bet he like it;)

I was going to warn you but it was too late.

Youve already had yourself a peep show at the south end of a northbound cow.
My life is complete.

Why marry the cow? A goat would be a much better choice.:p

Why marry the cow? A goat would be a much better choice.:p
Goats are smaller, true, and could live in the house with you ... ack! *slapping self for answering rationally*

My life is complete.

You are welcome.

If you made me a pie my life would be complete too.


:D

Why marry the cow? A goat would be a much better choice.:p

Goats are too loud and they climb the furniture.

Dont get me started on horses, the nags.

You are welcome.

If you made me a pie my life would be complete too.


:D
There's a stack of virtual pies outside your door. *blushing, punching you in the arm and running away giggling*

There's a stack of virtual pies outside your door. *blushing, punching you in the arm and running away giggling*
Ahem. Okay, let's keep this adult, shall we?

:rolleyes:

Perhaps goats are not the most suitable mates, nor horses, either. The latter are not as prolific milk-providers and while goats do give milk, they are smaller and not everyone cares for goat's milk. So perhaps the comrade under discussion made the wisest choice after all.

There's a stack of virtual pies outside your door. *blushing, punching you in the arm and running away giggling*


MMMM pies!

My life is complete!

I never thought having a complete life would make my arm hurt like this but still it is very nice all things considered!:)

Ahem. Okay, let's keep this adult, shall we?

:rolleyes:

Perhaps goats are not the most suitable mates, nor horses, either. The latter are not as prolific milk-providers and while goats do give milk, they are smaller and not everyone cares for goat's milk. So perhaps the comrade under discussion made the wisest choice after all.

Adult huh? Alright if you insist.

But what of sheep?

Also I cant help but notice that, intentionally or otherwise, you have left out all the marsupials.

What's next, gay marriage?


So, whats wrong with Gay Marriage?

So, whats wrong with Gay Marriage?
It lessens the meaning of my sacred relationship with my animal companion.

Adult huh? Alright if you insist.

But what of sheep?

Also I cant help but notice that, intentionally or otherwise, you have left out all the marsupials.
Well, I didn't start the thread, some farmer in Sverdlovsk did, but you do have a point, sheep have long been the Animal Companion of choice, why half the relationships in the Falkland Islands ... Nor should we slight our older cousins the marsupials. From what I hear, carrying a kid around in your uterus is not exact fun, that pouch thing seems very avante garde, in an Early Cenozoic way. Too bad the comrade can't benefit from our enlightened discussion.

It lessens the meaning of my sacred relationship with my animal companion.

:p

Good one, anyways, the Girl-Dolphin Marriage was in England.

She agreed to allow him to see other women, except when she's visiting him in the aquarium :rolleyes:

So, whats wrong with Gay Marriage?

We're running out of jokes about it.

Well, I didn't start the thread, some farmer in Sverdlovsk did, but you do have a point, sheep have long been the Animal Companion of choice, why half the relationships in the Falkland Islands ... Nor should we slight our older cousins the marsupials. From what I hear, carrying a kid around in your uterus is not exact fun, that pouch thing seems very avante garde, in an Early Cenozoic way. Too bad the comrade can't benefit from our enlightened discussion.


Nothing is more joyful than a wallaby in one's paddock.

Nothing is more joyful than a wallaby in one's paddock.
Couldn't have said it better. ;)

A Siberian farmer has lobbied President Putin to be allowed to marry his cow. He cites the lack of women in his town and the fact that he loves animals.

Marrying cows? Come on now, Russia has to draw the line somewhere. What's next, gay marriage?

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1910872.html?menu=
In civilized society, we call that bestiality or a mental illness.

I heard a story of a lady named Jennifer Hoes from the Netherlands who married herself. Does marriage mean anything anymore, or has it just become one big sex toy?

Does marriage mean anything anymore, or has it just become one big sex toy?

How big exactly?

In civilized society, we call that bestiality or a mental illness.

I heard a story of a lady named Jennifer Hoes from the Netherlands who married herself. Does marriage mean anything anymore, or has it just become one big sex toy?
It's bestiality if Comrade Farmer actually wants to have sex with the cow. Otherwise, I don't consider him all that mentally ill. No more than someone who climbs up a tower on a college campus and starts picking off passers-by, or people who picket military funerals with signs that say God is killing soldiers because the US tolerates gays. As for marrying oneself, well, there are days ... And I would be very suspicious of a story about someone named "Hoes."

But really, marriage has always been about sex. The Church says you should only have sex within the confines of marriage, doesn't it?

Meh... marriage only means less if one thinks less of it. Just because one person thinks marriage is worthless doesn't make someone else who thinks it's sacred wrong.

Why do people get so worked up about what other people do, even when what those other people do doesn't hurt anyone?

A Siberian farmer has lobbied President Putin to be allowed to marry his cow. He cites the lack of women in his town and the fact that he loves animals.

Marrying cows? Come on now, Russia has to draw the line somewhere. What's next, gay marriage?

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1910872.html?menu=


I smell Bullshit.

Why marry the cow when you can get the milk for free.

Meh... marriage only means less if one thinks less of it. Just because one person thinks marriage is worthless doesn't make someone else who thinks it's sacred wrong.

Why do people get so worked up about what other people do, even when what those other people do doesn't hurt anyone?
Because ... because ... what they're doing is wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong, and they're going to burn in the fiery flames of perdition unless I save them. And anyway, the idea of two guys kissing like that is just icky!

:p

Come on, people always do that. Does your cave have room for an extra person? I really need to get away from the World.

Because ... because ... what they're doing is wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong, and they're going to burn in the fiery flames of perdition unless I save them. And anyway, the idea of two guys kissing like that is just icky!

:p

Come on, people always do that. Does your cave have room for an extra person? I really need to get away from the World.

Strangely enough, I'm in my cave and feel the exact same thing. The world is all seeing, all pervasive... but definitely not all knowing, and often not even some knowing. ;)

Strangely enough, I'm in my cave and feel the exact same thing. The world is all seeing, all pervasive... but definitely not all knowing, and often not even some knowing. ;)
:D Back in the 1840s and 1850s the US had a political party known as the Know-Nothings, so ... nothing new under the sun.

*looking around* Nice cave. Where can I set up 56" plasma?

:D Back in the 1840s and 1850s the US had a political party known as the Know-Nothings, so ... nothing new under the sun.

*looking around* Nice cave. Where can I set up 56" plasma?

Right between the 2000 watt surround sound system and the controls to my 250 terawatt Death Ray...

oO... oh, wait. Death Ray? Silly me, I dismantled that thing according to UN Secret Resolution 2245! That's... um... a jukebox. Yeah... a jukebox with a lot of pretty buttons! *phew!*

<_<... >_>... whaaaat?

Right between the 2000 watt surround sound system and the controls to my 250 terawatt Death Ray...

oO... oh, wait. Death Ray? Silly me, I dismantled that thing according to UN Secret Resolution 2245! That's... um... a jukebox. Yeah... a jukebox with a lot of pretty buttons! *phew!*

<_<... >_>... whaaaat?

You carved that cave out of the terrain with your "jukebox" didnt you?

You carved that cave out of the terrain with your "jukebox" didnt you?
Supersonic destruction!