NationStates Jolt Archive

Am I the only one who thinks Communist Jokes are outdated and old in today's enviorment? Why don't we have Middle Eastern jokes, Iraq, Afghanistan, or Iran jokes? Comon!

No.

Am I the only one who thinks Communist Jokes are outdated and old in today's enviorment? Why don't we have Middle Eastern jokes, Iraq, Afghanistan, or Iran jokes? Comon!
all of those exist

I can honestly say i've never heard a communist joke, but have heard quite a few islam/America/terrorism ones. Kinda busts that theory eh?

No.

ok, no to which one?

ok, no to which one?

No to all things, yet no things. No to everything, and no to oblivion.

/zen

We do have Middle-Eastern jokes.

"Yasser Arafat died last night. And this time it looks pretty permanent. How many times did he die this week? Like five? Six? He was turning into Kenny on 'South Park.'"

"President Bush is in the Middle East this week to promote his Middle East peace plan. I don't think Bush quite gets it. Like today he said, 'Everything would work out in the Middle East if the Palestinians and the Israelis would just start acting like good Christians.'"

We do have Middle-Eastern jokes.

"Yasser Arafat died last night. And this time it looks pretty permanent. How many times did he die this week? Like five? Six? He was turning into Kenny on 'South Park.'"

"President Bush is in the Middle East this week to promote his Middle East peace plan. I don't think Bush quite gets it. Like today he said, 'Everything would work out in the Middle East if the Palestinians and the Israelis would just start acting like good Christians.'"

LOL those are great! :D

LOL those are great! :D


Yeah dude, you should just Google it
- and then after that you should just Google yourself. *alone lmao*

I like dead baby jokes.. but that's just me.

So an Arab walks into a deli owned and operated by a Jewish woman, right?

And the Jewish woman says, "G'day, can I interest you in our new bacon wraps?"

And then the Arab says, "No, I'm sorry, I can't eat that. Those groundbeef sandwiches however, looks quite tasty. Could I get one of those and a 7-Up?"

"Would you like the canned 7-Up, or a bottle?" asks the Jewish woman.

"The can, please," says the Arab.

Ahahahaha!

Those darn A-rabs!

EVERYONE knows you get a better millilitre per dollar ratio with the bottle!

*snip*


You lose at telling jokes.

LOL, those are horrible, but funny at the same time.
They always get a reaction, at least:p

You lose at telling jokes.

But the Arab is getting less value for his dollar!

Because he's an ARAB!

Why did the Jews walk around the desert for 40 years?

Someone dropped a quater.

What do you call a blonde in a suit, sitting in a tree?
Branch manager.

But the Arab is getting less value for his dollar!

Because he's an ARAB!

Worst...joke...ever.

Really.

Worst...joke...ever.

Really.
Dunno.. it has some competiton from those 'sand ******' jokes.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink.
He then proceeds to put his hand up to his ear and begins talking to his hand.
The bartender asks him, "What are you doing?"
The guys says, "Oh, I got a cell phone installed in my hand, it's quite convenient."
The bartender agrees. Then the same guy goes off to the bathroom.
After about 40 minutes, the bartender notices that the guy still hasn't come out of the bathroom, so he goes in.

To his surprise he finds the guy in the last stall bent over with a roll of toilet paper lodged in his ass!
The bartender exlaims, "What on Earth are you doing!?!?!."
The guy grunts out, "I'm expecting a fax."

A man walks into a bar...

He says ouch.

Worst...joke...ever.

Really.

Okay, okay, it is a bad joke.

I was trying to make a point on how offensive the very idea of the thread is. I mean, think about it - we're in a thread, both of us, where we've been asked to make racist jokes regarding Pakistanis, Afghans, Iraqis, and Arabs in general because the Russians apparently aren't good enough joke fodder anymore. Doesn't that strike you as slightly ridiculous, and probably offensive?

*snip*
*groan*
A string walks into a bar with his friends. They sit down, and he goes to get the first round. Barman angrily turns him away, saying 'we dont serve strings here'.

He tries again, with the same result. The string is truly puzzled now, but he has an idea. So he messes up his hair, and ties his arms behind his back. He goes to the bar, and the barman says 'hey, aren't you a string?'
He says 'no, I'm afraid not'.
:rolleyes: sorry

Okay, okay, it is a bad joke.

I was trying to make a point on how offensive the very idea of the thread is. I mean, think about it - we're in a thread, both of us, where we've been asked to make racist jokes regarding Pakistanis, Afghans, Iraqis, and Arabs in general because the Russians apparently aren't good enough joke fodder anymore. Doesn't that strike you as slightly ridiculous, and probably offensive?

Nah not really. Hey if you can laugh at Dead Baby Jokes, then you can laugh at anything.

Here's one that goes all the way back to the Italians (WOOT! Grats on the Cup!) and WWI, updated for today . . .

What do you do if an Iraqi insurgent throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back!

Liasia']*groan*
A string walks into a bar with his friends. They sit down, and he goes to get the first round. Barman angrily turns him away, saying 'we dont serve strings here'.

He tries again, with the same result. The string is truly puzzled now, but he has an idea. So he messes up his hair, and ties his arms behind his back. He goes to the bar, and the barman says 'hey, aren't you a string?'
He says 'no, I'm afraid not'.
:rolleyes: sorry
Someone once said to me, "A piece of string walks into a bar . . . have you heard this one before?"
I said, "I'm a frayed knot."
He told me the joke anyway :p

Okay, okay, it is a bad joke.

I was trying to make a point on how offensive the very idea of the thread is. I mean, think about it - we're in a thread, both of us, where we've been asked to make racist jokes regarding Pakistanis, Afghans, Iraqis, and Arabs in general because the Russians apparently aren't good enough joke fodder anymore. Doesn't that strike you as slightly ridiculous, and probably offensive?
Yes. All jokes should go like this.



Politically Correct Little Red Riding Hood

There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them.

Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as "mother", although she didn't mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close biological link did not in fact exist.

Nor did she intend to denigrate the equal value of nontraditional households, although she was sorry if this was the impression conveyed.

One day her mother asked her to take a basket of organically grown fruit and mineral water to her grandmother's house.

"But mother, won't this be stealing work from the unionized people who have struggled for years to earn the right to carry all packages between various people in the woods?"

Red Riding Hood's mother assured her that she had called the union boss and gotten a special compassionate mission exemption form.

"But mother, aren't you oppressing me by ordering me to do this?"

Red Riding Hood's mother pointed out that it was impossible for womyn to oppress each other, since all womyn were equally oppressed until all womyn were free.

"But mother, then shouldn't you have my brother carry the basket, since he's an oppressor, and should learn what it's like to be oppressed?"

And Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her brother was attending a special rally for animal rights, and besides, this wasn't stereotypical womyn's work, but an empowering deed that would help engender a feeling of community.

"But won't I be oppressing Grandma, by implying that she's sick and hence unable to independently further her own selfhood?"

But Red Riding Hood's mother explained that her grandmother wasn't actually sick or incapacitated or mentally handicapped in any way, although that was not to imply that any of these conditions were inferior to what some people called "health".

Thus Red Riding Hood felt that she could get behind the idea of delivering the basket to her grandmother, and so she set off.

Many people believed that the forest was a foreboding and dangerous place, but Red Riding Hood knew that this was an irrational fear based on cultural paradigms instilled by a patriarchal society that regarded the natural world as an exploitable resource, and hence believed that natural predators were in fact intolerable competitors.

Other people avoided the woods for fear of thieves and deviants, but Red Riding Hood felt that in a truly classless society all marginalized peoples would be able to "come out" of the woods and be accepted as valid lifestyle role models.

On her way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood passed a woodchopper, and wandered off the path, in order to examine some flowers.

She was startled to find herself standing before a Wolf, who asked her what was in her basket.

Red Riding Hood's teacher had warned her never to talk to strangers, but she was confident in taking control of her own budding sexuality, and chose to dialogue with the Wolf.

She replied, "I am taking my Grandmother some healthful snacks in a gesture of solidarity."

The Wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop an alternative and yet entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I would prefer to be on my way."

Red Riding Hood returned to the main path, and proceeded towards her Grandmother's house.

But because his status outside society had freed him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the Wolf knew of a quicker route to Grandma's house.

He burst into the house and ate Grandma, a course of action affirmative of his nature as a predator.

Then, unhampered by rigid, traditionalist gender role notions, he put on Grandma's nightclothes, crawled under the bedclothes, and awaited developments.

Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said,

"Grandma, I have brought you some cruelty free snacks to salute you in your role of wise and nurturing matriarch."

The Wolf said softly "Come closer, child, so that I might see you."

Red Riding Hood said, "Goddess! Grandma, what big eyes you have!"

"You forget that I am optically challenged."

"And Grandma, what an enormous, what a fine nose you have."

"Naturally, I could have had it fixed to help my acting career, but I didn't give in to such societal pressures, my child."

"And Grandma, what very big, sharp teeth you have!"

The Wolf could not take any more of these specist slurs, and, in a reaction appropriate for his accustomed milieu, he leaped out of bed, grabbed Little Red Riding Hood, and opened his jaws so wide that she could see her poor Grandmother cowering in his belly.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Red Riding Hood bravely shouted. "You must request my permission before proceeding to a new level of intimacy!"

The Wolf was so startled by this statement that he loosened his grasp on her.

At the same time, the woodchopper burst into the cottage, brandishing an ax.

"Hands off!" cried the woodchopper.

"And what do you think you're doing?" cried Little Red Riding Hood. "If I let you help me now, I would be expressing a lack of confidence in my own abilities, which would lead to poor self esteem and lower achievement scores on college entrance exams."

"Last chance, sister! Get your hands off that endangered species! This is an FBI sting!" screamed the woodchopper, and when Little Red Riding Hood nonetheless made a sudden motion, he sliced off her head.

"Thank goodness you got here in time," said the Wolf. "The brat and her grandmother lured me in here. I thought I was a goner."

"No, I think I'm the real victim, here," said the woodchopper. "I've been dealing with my anger ever since I saw her picking those protected flowers earlier. And now I'm going to have such a trauma. Do you have any aspirin?"

"Sure," said the Wolf.

"Thanks."

"I feel your pain," said the Wolf, and he patted the woodchopper on his firm, well padded back, gave a little belch, and said "Do you have any Maalox?"

tag

Nah not really. Hey if you can laugh at Dead Baby Jokes, then you can laugh at anything.

True enough. It seems like we've drifted way off from the OP anyways, so...

How about this?

One night, after a long evening of drinking, Al was thrown out of the bar at closing time. As he began to stumble home, he spotted a nun walking down the street.

After looking at her for a moment he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.

As the nun cried for help, a police crusier pulled up, lights flashing.

As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs, Al looked back and shouted, "You ain't so tough now, are you Batman!"

Yes. All jokes should go like this.

"I feel your pain," said the Wolf, and he patted the woodchopper on his firm, well padded back, gave a little belch, and said "Do you have any Maalox?"[/i]
I hope for your sake you didn't type all that out.

True enough. It seems like we've drifted way off from the OP anyways, so...

How about this?

One night, after a long evening of drinking, Al was thrown out of the bar at closing time. As he began to stumble home, he spotted a nun walking down the street.

After looking at her for a moment he ran over and tackled her, then proceeded to beat the living shit out of her.

As the nun cried for help, a police crusier pulled up, lights flashing.

As the police were pulling him away in handcuffs, Al looked back and shouted, "You ain't so tough now, are you Batman!"
Thats offensive.

Liasia']I hope for your sake you didn't type all that out.
Of course I did.:p
Luckily there is that little thing called c+p.

Thats offensive.
I didn't get it.
What's black, white and red all over?
A sexually assaulted nun.

Yes. All jokes should go like this.



Politically Correct Little Red Riding Hood


Aw, come on now. Tell me you didn't expect loads of "Hurrr, them cameljockies sure do like to explode and say 'Allah'!" after reading the OP? That's what I expected, but since it didn't happen, I guess I didn't give NS General enough credit.

Of course I did.:p
Luckily there is that little thing called c+p.
The skills!:fluffle:

Liasia']The skills!:fluffle:
And all with only one hand.

Aw, come on now. Tell me you didn't expect loads of "Hurrr, them cameljockies sure do like to explode and say 'Allah'!" after reading the OP? That's what I expected, but since it didn't happen, I guess I didn't give NS General enough credit.
Title: Communist joke. No not realy.

And all with only one hand.
Ewww!

Title: Communist joke. No not realy.

Yeah, that was the title, but what about the first post?

Am I the only one who thinks Communist Jokes are outdated and old in today's enviorment? Why don't we have Middle Eastern jokes, Iraq, Afghanistan, or Iran jokes? Comon!

Liasia']Ewww!
What? I was holding something with the other. So I only had one free hand.

Yeah, that was the title, but what about the first post?
No. I didn't. I just glanced over it.

Yeah, that was the title, but what about the first post?

You do bring up a good point with my post. One of the reason I made this thread was 1. I saw Futurama tonight and it had a communist joke in it. and 2. Let's all think back to the era before PC. There was all kind of jokes, we had Bugs Bunny doing Japanese jokes, Donald Duck doing Nazi jokes. We also had of course Communist Joke. They were all funny, however, nowanddays we're too scared to make jokes of our current enemies because well, it's not PC, and we're too afraid that we'll hurt their feelings, and oh their little self esteem must be protected at all cost. Comon, let's do what our fathers, grandfathers, and great grandfathers did, make crude, rude, but gut blasting funny jokes at our enemies!

Let's all think back to the era before PC. There was all kind of jokes, we had Bugs Bunny doing Japanese jokes, Donald Duck doing Nazi jokes. We also had of course Communist Joke. They were all funny, however, nowanddays we're too scared to make jokes of our current enemies because well, it's not PC, and we're too afraid that we'll hurt their feelings, and oh their little self esteem must be protected at all cost. Comon, let's do what our fathers, grandfathers, and great grandfathers did, make crude, rude, but gut blasting funny jokes at our enemies!

While I do agree with you that nowadays, we do tend to get a little too PC, I really would rather that we don't go back to the days of "Bugs Bunny doing Japanese jokes" either. I mean really, the people of today do need to get a grip on the PC thing before it gets too much out of hand, but would you really want us all to go back to an era where comics like the one below were considered normal humor?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/JC_Denton/97055c88.jpg

While I do agree with you that nowadays, we do tend to get a little too PC, I really would rather that we don't go back to the days of "Bugs Bunny doing Japanese jokes" either. I mean really, the people of today do need to get a grip on the PC thing before it gets too much out of hand, but would you really want us all to go back to an era where comics like the one below were considered normal humor?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/JC_Denton/97055c88.jpg

Your asking a guy that just made dead baby jokes, and a jew joke.

Your asking a guy that just made dead baby jokes, and a jew joke.

Yeah, but would you tell those jokes to your doctor? Your girlfriend/boyfriend's mother? Your boss? Your neighbor? Would you want a society where you could on your first meeting, and still be in thier good graces?

There is a time and place for shocking, politically incorrect jokes. I myself enjoy them often. But do you seriously want a return to a time when racist jokes about "slapping Japs", or to be up to date, "tramplin' Towelheads" are socially acceptable and commonplace?

Am I the only one who thinks Communist Jokes are outdated and old in today's enviorment? Why don't we have Middle Eastern jokes, Iraq, Afghanistan, or Iran jokes? Comon!

You're starting to sound like a commie...