NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?

Talk to her. That's really all you can do, however hard/awkward the conversation may be.

but then wut if she isnt a lez... its like.. "WTF YOU THINK IM A LESBIAN!!!! *SLAP*"

but then wut if she isnt a lez... its like.. "WTF YOU THINK IM A LESBIAN!!!! *SLAP*"
good point.

Meh, I've asked that question before. She answered no, and the entire conversation is kind of a funny memory. She asked me if I was gay.

Have a sense of humor about it, and things should be all right.

One thing though, ask if she likes guys, don't ask if she likes girls. That way you catch the bisexual and asexual possibilities in your question.

ask for a threesome?

but then wut if she isnt a lez... its like.. "WTF YOU THINK IM A LESBIAN!!!! *SLAP*"
What else can he do exactly? I know it's hardly ideal, but he can't just continue wondering this because it basically means - if true - the relationship is over.

Maybe he can do something like ask if she's ever fancied a threesome, or talk about bisexuality... or some other subtle, mind-game thing.... but I don't usually go for that kinda thing, so I really can't help.

Hmm. There's nothing you can really do unless she brings it up herself. But definitely....leave the option open. Don't actually ask her, but make the occasional casual statement to the effect that you support gay people, mildly tease her in a 'I don't think you are' kind of way that again implies that if she was, you wouldn't be pissed, etc. Just make sure she feels that she has the comfort and opportunity to say something.

Maybe you could ask her about her past experiences, ask her if she's ever been curious about other sexual orientations, if she's ever experimented in the past. See what her reactions and answers are, and proceed to asking about the present if appropiate.

Meh, I've asked that question before. She answered no, and the entire conversation is kind of a funny memory. She asked me if I was gay.

Have a sense of humor about it, and things should be all right.

One thing though, ask if she likes guys, don't ask if she likes girls. That way you catch the bisexual and asexual possibilities in your question.
Besides if she likes guys and girls, what do you care? More chicks for you!

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?
support her in her decision.

if you think, reguardless of the fact of her sexual leanings, that any time spent with her is wasted, then perhaps the problem is not with her.

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?
Talk to her

I have actually been in your place

Turned out she was just bi … now we have all kinds of HOT fun :)

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?

Simple: I keep the dream alive.

If she isn't, no good will come from finding out. But a lot of imaginative erotic fantasies will come out of not bothering to ask. :)

Simple: I keep the dream alive.

If she isn't, no good will come from finding out. But a lot of imaginative erotic fantasies will come out of not bothering to ask. :)
I bothered to ask now I get to "meet" all her other bi and les friends ...

... in bed :)


Lol I am just joking I am glad she still loves me she is an amazing woman that I would not trade in a million years but still the perks are fun as well

If she wants to leave the closet, let her. If not, you'll gain nothing from pushing for an answer.

If she is, better to find out sooner than later.

I had a friend in your shoes. He would've gotten laid, but, instead, she just came out and told him that she was a lesbian. He is still kicking himself for not acting sooner.

Thanks everyone, think i will keep quiet and see what happens in the future.

Thanks everyone, think i will keep quiet and see what happens in the future.
If you care for her be supportive … this is a tough thing to do, my gf had trouble just admitting it to me even though she knew I was bi as well

Think how hard it would be to admit it to a strait person that may get mad at you for it

Thanks everyone, think i will keep quiet and see what happens in the future.
I don't think it's a good idea.

I think you should just ask her. Ask her tactfully. Don't ask her right out if you're afraid of sounding mean, or bigotted. Start it as a topic; just talk about sexuality. Break the ice.

Get her to talk. Listen to her responses and gauge your time. If she is insecure about it, this is a good way to go about it. If she isn't a lesbian, try and laugh about it. Joke. It should work, but, either way if you're unsure, try and ask.

i had a nightmare my gf was a lesbian the other night. she told me we couldn't be together any more cos of that, and that it was me and my unattractiveness that turned her gay :(


i woke up and called her 20 seconds later to ask if she was indeed a lesbian. it wasn't a very difficult question to ask, really.

Get a female friend to do a threesome with you and your gf. See who your gf pays more attention to.

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?


Lot's of women are bi-sexual. I have actually dated a few. So wouldn't worry about it to much. I am assuming that she is because you are dating her at the moment.

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?
Well, it's not actually possible: she'd be bi-sexual.

Well, it's not actually possible: she'd be bi-sexual.
She could be denying her true feelings and trying to hide her sexuality by going about with me.

Dude!!! suggest a treesome!!!!! unless you really like her ofcourse, my gf is bi and talked about threesomes, I told her she's all the woman I'll ever need.:fluffle:

Ask her for a threesome?

:fluffle:



Ok that was mean. You have to remember that girls can be really really friendly sometimes. 1) Did she go to an all girls private school or some really posh all girls college? This can encourage 'over friendlyness' but not lesbianism. 2) Has she kissed other girls? Girls do this :eek: but aren't necessarily lesbians. 3) Does some one have a grudge against her? cos thats the type of rumour someone could spread 4) If she is rumored to have had sex with another girl..then..well I'll refer you to my initial statement.

5) Go to her really upset saying that some dimwit is spreading a rumour about her that she is a lesbian( this is risky cos if she's not it could destory her confidence)
6) Break up with her
7) At the end of the day if you know in your heart and soul something isn't right its not fair to her or to you t o have a relationship like that, talk about where does she think this relationship is going,
Good Luck

I don't know what context there is but my friend was in a similar situation. Turned out his girlfriend was straight though and she was only acting like a lesbian to get more attention from him. Just an idea although I do not know the intricacies of your relationship!

What do you do if you suspect your girlfriend is a lesbian?

Ask her if you can watch :D

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?

Ask her. If she thinks she might be gay, find another girlfriend. She can still be your friend, but at least you won't be disappointed.

This needs to be a poll.
Or we can just assume "Ask for a threesome" already won.

This needs to be a poll.
Or we can just assume "Ask for a threesome" already won.

Well it is the most appealing option...

If she really is a lesbian, then the only threesome she'd be interested in would be with two other chicks.

If she's bi, on the other hand...:D

For her sake, break up with her, because you are an idiot :eek:

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?


Get pictures

Well, if she doesn't love you, it really doesn't matter what her sexuality is. If she loves you, then the worst that could happen is that she's bi, which means that you wouldn't be wasting your time on her. So, the only problem is whether or not she loves you. If you don't know that.... aren't you wasting your time anyway? Not because of her, and not necessarily because of you, but just because? And if you can't talk about this with her, then perhaps you have a communication issue that needs some resolving?

Ask her?

Besides if she likes guys and girls, what do you care? More chicks for you!
Kinda what I was trying to say. The only thing that matters is if the current relationship has a real chance of working out. If she isn't actually attracted to guys, that's kinda going to limit the directions this relationship can take.
support her in her decision.

if you think, reguardless of the fact of her sexual leanings, that any time spent with her is wasted, then perhaps the problem is not with her.
So you don't think it would be a good idea to stop pursuing a romantic relationship with someone who isn't capable of being attracted to you? I should think this is very solid grounds to make the "let's be friends instead" transition.

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?

GET IN ON THAT SHIT.

</nonhelpfuladvicebecauseNSgeneralisnotadatingadviceforum>

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?
LOL, first of all don't do what Deep Kimchi said she'll dump your arse and bone someone else.
What type of person is she?
Is she 'Tomboyish' or is she 'Ladylike'?

Get out of bed?

LOL, first of all don't do what Deep Kimchi said she'll dump your arse and bone someone else.
What type of person is she?
Is she 'Tomboyish' or is she 'Ladylike'?

If you can't be bothered to ask her...

what do you do??? That's easy....you bring home a smokin hot bisexual girl and see if your girlfriend is up for an entertaining eve. This may be the greatest thing that has ever happened to you.

The real question is,

If your girlfriend leaves you for another woman, do you hold the door open for both of them?
***
Sorry, that wasn't really called for, was it? Anyways, look at it this way, if she is, it's better than breaking up because you were a crummy boyfriend, yes?

Ask her?
Then tell us!

My last two girlfriends were both bisexual. They ended up dating each other. :headbang:

So you don't think it would be a good idea to stop pursuing a romantic relationship with someone who isn't capable of being attracted to you? I should think this is very solid grounds to make the "let's be friends instead" transition.considering I don't even have a girlfriend... :p

to me, her choice of lifestyle is her own. if she is still returning his feelings, then it doesn't matter. if she is cold to him, not showing any signs of enjoying his company, then it still won't matter since furthering the relationship is moot. and if she enjoys his company but doesn't see it as going beyond "Friends" then the point is still moot, however, he will still have her as a friend.

IF she is unsure about her feelings towards him (or guys in general) then making her sexual orientation an issue might back her into a corner where she will probably make the wrong decision.

While I am unsure how to bring up such a topic without seemingly to either insult her feelings towards him, or make it seem that her sexual orientation is an "issue" it should be talked about. She just shouldn't be pushed into a corner of having to choose.

For me, if I was in that situation, I would still cherish any time spent together with her. even if she leaves me for another woman. thus my comment about "wasted time" since any time with her would not be wasted.

The thread title made me laugh.

Ok long story short i have suspision my girlfriend is really a lesbian but she hasn't got heart to admit it. Also i aint only one that thinks this, please what should i do, you all (well mostly) have life experience and i don't want to waste some of my life on her if she is gay. So any suggestions on how to tackle this?

Hehehe, that happened to someone I know, she got real bitchy about it, I suppose its the same as everyone thinking I'm gay. In fact the girl that everyone thought was lesbian asked me whether or not I was gay.:rolleyes:

But we both aren't;)

Dude...my girlfriend is bi, and (trust me) the best thing you can do is be supportive. make sure you're going to be someone for her to talk to if she is lesbian.

get her to talk about what she'd do to another hot girl. trust me, it's the most amazing thing you'll ever here.

For me, if I was in that situation, I would still cherish any time spent together with her. even if she leaves me for another woman. thus my comment about "wasted time" since any time with her would not be wasted.

Good point. enjoy what you've got, because it could all change. but stay close...

suggest watching a porn movie

get a lesbian porn movie

see if it turns her on.

:p

What do you do? What do you DO?!?

Three words: Voy. Yeur. Ism.

Okay, okay, just in case this is a serious question...

How's about talking about it? Why don't people who are supposedly intimate with one another ever talk about anything?

What do you do? What do you DO?!?

Three words: Voy. Yeur. Ism.

Okay, okay, just in case this is a serious question...

How's about talking about it? Why don't people who are supposedly intimate with one another ever talk about anything?

I suppose its kinda difficult subject handle

Can I ask you something?
Sure
Are you a lesbian?

Mention in passing that you're considering a sex-change. Note her reaction :D

I suppose its kinda difficult subject handle

Can I ask you something?
Sure
Are you a lesbian?
Why's that hard? You wouldn't necessarily come right out swingin' like that, but my point is, if you're in a relationship and you don't feel comfortable asking any kind of important or necessary questions or revealing how you feel, what kind of relationship is it, really? If you're just fucking, then what's the worry?

When you go to a woman, you should always come out swinging! Coming straight out with it makes you look desperate.
Say what? "Coming out swinging" is straight out with it. I think we're talking across purposes here....