NationStates Jolt Archive

If you could make your own religion, with its own Holy book and scriptures, what would it be.
Please be crazy(as I know you all are inside)and quote from your own relgions holy books to back up your pionts and rubbish everyone elses religion!
:D

The religion is called the Beloved Utterances of the Living Law, or BULL for short. It's goal is to follow a path to self knowledge and knowledge of the universe and the people around you. With that knowledge you then learn to instinctively make the correct decisions in any situation. When you achieve this state of perfect judgement, or can just fool people into thinking you've achieved it, you are considered a living deity.

Our holy book, the BULL CRAP, Compilation of Random, Appropriate Preachings, contains such powerful teachings as this.

"Look out for number one, but don't step in number two for nobody else will guide your steps unto your own ultimate goal"

Beloved Iterations of the Living Law, or BULL for short.

I don't like the way Iterations = U … :/

This week, I need to adopt the philosophy of SEP

My religion will focus on not giving a crap.

Kirbyism! We worship the mighty deity of Kirby

I don't like the way Iterations = U … :/
Thanks for finding that. I tried to write "utterations" as in utterings, only more ignorant of the english language, and spellcheck decided I was trying to write iterations.

Thou shalt not sin in the eyes of Taldaan, nor shalt thou act against His will, but thou shalt obey His holy law, lest He smite thine unworthy and lustful flesh with firey brimstone.

Buccaneers 6:11

You know how Ron L. Hubbard started Scientology?

Well, Hubbard was a hack. Gene Roddenberry - now that man should have started a religion. Unfortunately, Roddenberry's dead, so we'll just have to build the religion ourselves, using Star Trek and the original notes for Andromeda as a basis.

The pillars of Roddenberryism would be:

- work for the betterment of yourself and all mankind
- work towards a quasi-socialist paradise as seen in Star Trek: The Next Generation
- somehow advance into beings of pure energy, kind of like the Q
- avoid time travel at all costs

It'd be pretty cool, I think. Ron L. Hubbard wasn't half the visionary Gene Roddenberry was.

Thou shalt not sin in the eyes of Taldaan, nor shalt thou act against His will, but thou shalt obey His holy law, lest He smite thine unworthy and lustful flesh with firey brimstone.

Buccaneers 6:11

So, it's Christianity then ;)

If you could make your own religion, with its own Holy book and scriptures, what would it be.
Please be crazy(as I know you all are inside)and quote from your own relgions holy books to back up your pionts and rubbish everyone elses religion!
:D
To be honest, as a Christian, usually I would think doing this is stupid, but it sounds like fun. I like to make fun of cults too.

The religion of Me, Myself, and I(Some people call it selfish, I call it righteous)

"Of you that believe, all non-believers own you $1." -The Book of Me, chapter 5, page 82

"Thou willst worship me, or else thou willst receive a roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris." The Book of Me, chapter 6, page 94

"...And then Mark sent Jim the letter to the Antarcticans, and Jim sent the letter to 20 other people, who each sent it to 20 other people. This was the first chain letter." The Book of Me, chapter 25, page 524

"I am ub3r over all of u, and, thus, I have, in my holiness, pwn3d u all." The Book of Me, chapter 30, page 682.

"If thou hast run into Tom Cruise, thou must giveth him 10 kicks into the Shabangels(The private parts in my religion), for I gave all men such, and he doest not deserve them." The Book of Me, chapter 59, page 1024.

You know how Ron L. Hubbard started Scientology?

Well, Hubbard was a hack. Gene Roddenberry - now that man should have started a religion. Unfortunately, Roddenberry's dead, so we'll just have to build the religion ourselves, using Star Trek and the original notes for Andromeda as a basis.

The pillars of Roddenberryism would be:

- work for the betterment of yourself and all mankind
- work towards a quasi-socialist paradise as seen in Star Trek: The Next Generation
- somehow advance into beings of pure energy, kind of like the Q
- avoid time travel at all costs

It'd be pretty cool, I think. Ron L. Hubbard wasn't half the visionary Gene Roddenberry was.
of course in Futurama, star trek is (was) a religion. "all power to the engines!"


i'm with you on this one though. Trekkism will rule :cool:
(as long as there's the extra commandment of never wear red on away missions/outside... ;))

I am.

of course in Futurama, star trek is (was) a religion. "all power to the engines!"

How could I have forgotten about that? I miss Futurama so much. :(


i'm with you on this one though. Trekkism will rule :cool:
(as long as there's the extra commandment of never wear red on away missions/outside... ;))

Well, not everyone who wore red in the original series got killed/turned into a sugar cube/beamed into space. After all, Scotty was alright. :)

"There are as many religions in the world as there are people" - Mahatma Gandhi.

In a way, everybody already have their own personal version of religion, since no two persons perspective of their religion are alike, even though it be called by the same name Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, etc.

The Church of the Almighty Avatar of All Deities and Gods (lovingly called the CAAADG, the pronunciation of which is a closely-guarded secret) is a Messianic Order of those who follow the Almighty Avatar of All Deities and Gods: me.

The inner workings of the CAAADG can barely be imagined by outsiders, but the first tenet of the faith has been made known to the public, and that is: 'Thou Shalt Do What I Say, Damnit.' These are the Holy Words of the AAADG.

Initiations are held often, and will bring you salvation*. Bring doughnuts to your initiation for a free Absolution of Sinliness. With proper dilligence and devotion, you may be chosen to live forever in the Heaven of Everlasting Orgasmic Fulfillment**.

* Salvation granted on first-come, first-served basis.

** For erections lasting longer than 4 hours, just keep going.

My dream religion would be a cross between Catholicism, Hinduism and Gangster Rap. The three go together nicely.

I don't have a name for it yet, but...

Beliefs
- prayer is pointless
- all humans are different but equal
- only discrimination based on skills is permitted
- profanity isn't frowned upon
- homosexuality is perfectly fine
- marriage is between two consenting people who care for each other

Practices
- spilling salt is considered bad luck; throwing a pinch of it over your left shoulder in your right hand negates any damage
- self-exploration through hallucinogenic medium is encouraged

Baptism
Religion is a choice that can only be made by the person.

Holy Days
April 20 - National Weed Day

That's just the basics... More to come.

Well, not everyone who wore red in the original series got killed/turned into a sugar cube/beamed into space. After all, Scotty was alright. :)
ah yes, but he had to eat kingon ration-packs :p

It would be for profit. My profit.

Here's a pretty good approximation of the religion I already follow, which might be called Common Sensism. Its holy tenets were dictated by God onto a sacred internet message board, where you may now see them:

Rule 1: Thou Shalt Not Be A Fucking Dick.
Rule 2: No, Seriously. Thou Shalt Basically Be Nice To Each Other. It's Not That Freaking Hard, People.
Rule 3: If Anyone Telleth You That God Wants You To Be A Dick, They Are Stupid, And Thou Shalt Ignore Them, Okay?
Rule 4: That's Basically It, Really. Hey, Anybody Haveth Any Fudge? God Likes Fudge.

:)

i don't know a name but the main rule is that you have to mind your own buisiness and yuo can't tell otherppl how to live there lives.
also everybody would have to referback to how they culturally are because my religion would be diverse and there is at least one godess maybe more and maybe some god's but I don't know maybe men in cages so you can buy them at the pound so they have had all there shots. hehe lol.

As George Carlin once said:

1. Thou shalt always be honest, and faithful to the provider of thy nookie;

2. Thou shalt try really hard not to kill anyone;

3. THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF!

Additional commandments by us:

4. Thou shalt expand thy consciousness by any means that does not harm you or another;

5. Thou shalt not grievously hurt a child in mind or body, but disciplining by spanking is okay;

6. Thou shalt take good care of thy own body;

7. Thou shalt learn to think for thyself (then again, this should be higher up the list...);

8. Thou shalt not eat food that giveth gas before going out on a date;

9. Thou shalt always be courteous and respectful to others;

10. THOU SHALT NOT BE A DRAMA QUEEN!

Feel free to shuffle them around as you see fit :P

I'll work on the rites of worship later...

Worship of Cthulhu and the other Deep Old Ones. Their bible will be the bible of The Deep Old Ones. They came when the stars were right, and when the stars are right they will rise again. Lovecraft could have totally started a religion.

Otay... my religion

Holy Scriptures: Teh Holy Book. We follow science and think in a logical manner. The deity of choice is the God/Goddess, but you can believe in Jesus if you like (you don't have to if you don't want to). It's kind of like Christianity/Agnosticism.

TEH COMMANDMENTS!
1) Thou shalt not be a blibbering idiot.
2) If you're going to be an extremist, read Teh Holy Book and STFU.
3) Be nice to others.
4) Don't kill, steal, or cheat on your signinficant other, or lie.
5) Keep your beliefs to yourself.
6) You should take personal responsibilty.
7) Give to the poor... but you should be doing that already.
8) When all else fails... laugh.
9) Question everything.
10) Don't physically harm yourself or others.

Beliefs!
Prayer is not necessary, though it doesn't matter if you do it.
There is no certain way to worship, but sacrificing people and animals is banned.
Do not convert people. You can tell about your beliefs but you cannot force people to believe what you believe.
Gay marriage- when's the wedding?
Gay adoption- that's great.
Abortion- The concept of abortion is considered wrong in Intelligenism, in the sense that the aborted fetus is considered the POTENTIAL for human life, but Intelligenism accepts that it is the choice of both parents (except in the case of rape) and it could be best for both parents.
Sex Ed: Intelligenism believes that it is a great sin to keep teens in the dark; it is considered dishonesty and a great disservice to Intelligenism.
BC: Intellgenism encourages it.
Gender equality: Intellgenism accepts that women ARE equal to men, and should be treated as such. Intelligenists are strong supporters of feminism.

Holdiays: Christmas and Easter are optional. However, July 31 is not, as it is Intel Day. ;)

If I could make my own religion . . .
I might get laid once in a while, like those televangelists ;)

My religion would be based around the worship of the Immortal Son of God and our One True Lord and Savior, Optimus Prime, and strict adherence to his Holy Wisdom. Our Commandments are as follows:

1) Freedom is the right of all sentient beings (though this right is forfeited when abused)

2) Even the wisest of men and machines can be in error.

3) Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost.

My religion would be based around the worship of the Immortal Son of God and our One True Lord and Savior, Optimus Prime, and strict adherence to his Holy Wisdom. Our Commandments are as follows:

1) Freedom is the right of all sentient beings (though this right is forfeited when abused)

2) Even the wisest of men and machines can be in error.

3) Megatron must be stopped, no matter the cost.

I worship Starscream... :p

So, it's Christianity then ;)

And yet I sayeth unto ye, o ye unbelievers, if thou believest that Taldaanism is kin unto the Christian faith, thou art screwed in thine head, or thou hast not read the Most Divine Commandments. For thine God, the most Holy and Sexified Lord of All, Taldaan, sayeth not that ye must repress thine fleshly urges, but that, if ye must burn at all, it is best to burn with unholy lust for thine fellow man.

From Crazy Bob's letter to the Atlantians

you are all amazing!:p

NBIP. Its a party and a faith!:D

Me and a buddy created Onetoomany, the twelve handed gopher-god of mischief several years ago. We were going to write the Book and send it to llewellen (sp?) plublishers, figuring that they would publish just about any new-age crap.

Then we planned on duping old ladies out of their social security money, but good sense got the better of us.

I worship Starscream... :p

Ditto! Starscream Forever!!!!

The Ten Commandments:

First: Thou shalt do what I say.
Second: Be prepared to accept responsibility for your actions.
Three: Alcohol or mind altering drugs are not an acceptable excuse, unless you were forced to take them.
Fourth: Thou shalt do what I say.
Fifth: Thou shalt not question me, especially on the subject of commandments repeating.
Sixth: Thou shalt not kill in my name.
Seventh: Let me make this perfectly clear thou shalt not kill in my name.
Eighth: Yes, I can kill in my name.
Ninth: Thou shalt do what I say.
Tenth: Thou shalt not commit sinful acts.
Eleventh: Sinful acts are here defined as acts that cause needless harm to another human being.
Twelveth: Thou shalt not question my ability to count. I am your God, and I can call these commandments whatever I want.

Heh, I made up a religion for my nation. Here's a link to my old region's boards: http://z14.invisionfree.com/New_Europe/index.php?showtopic=10

It's the third post down, the Holy Book of Cradonianism, or Cradonism... :D

If you could make your own religion, with its own Holy book and scriptures, what would it be.
Please be crazy(as I know you all are inside)and quote from your own relgions holy books to back up your pionts and rubbish everyone elses religion!
:D

I wouldn't put any requirements on believers, because that is unconstitutional. They wouldn't even have to go to church, because it's so boring and I hate it now when my parents make me go. I would require that they all share, but eventually as class distinctions eroded, this wouldn't be a burden at all.

The big difference between my religion and Christians is that Christians are always telling me what to do. They don't let me have fun. For example, my parents wouldn't get me an contraception or emergency contraception. But luckily the nurse does offer these in school. We need religions to start being more inclusive and less hateful.

The Ten Commandments:

First: Thou shalt do what I say.
Second: Be prepared to accept responsibility for your actions.
Three: Alcohol or mind altering drugs are not an acceptable excuse, unless you were forced to take them.
Fourth: Thou shalt do what I say.
Fifth: Thou shalt not question me, especially on the subject of commandments repeating.
Sixth: Thou shalt not kill in my name.
Seventh: Let me make this perfectly clear thou shalt not kill in my name.
Eighth: Yes, I can kill in my name.
Ninth: Thou shalt do what I say.
Tenth: Thou shalt not commit sinful acts.
Eleventh: Sinful acts are here defined as acts that cause needless harm to another human being.
Twelveth: Thou shalt not question my ability to count. I am your God, and I can call these commandments whatever I want.

I love the Eighth commandment so much. I hate war. I love your definition of sin because it would get all the republicans/christians. If this was a real religion, I might even fight to have it exempted from the 1st amendment wall of separation because your religion seems so much like true fact that should be taught to all students in science class, so that within a generation we have a progressive paradise.

All Clergy shall be Female!

All services held in the nude!

Worship of me shall be strictly by priestess and by tongue! ;-)
Priestesses are free to do the same to each other and/or "collect" worship
from others for me.

You cannot harm another except to defend self or family

Ritual Sex once a week! (Must be a member in good standing to attend)

Bingo every Sunday!

Thou Shalt Fluffle! :fluffle:

Any two adults may be wed

Science is a good thing!

Thou Shalt Not Be Emo!

Thats all for now :)

All Clergy shall be Female!

All services held in the nude!

Worship of me shall be strictly by priestess and by tongue! ;-)
Priestesses are free to do the same to each other and/or "collect" worship
from others for me.

You cannot harm another except to defend self or family

Ritual Sex once a week! (Must be a member in good standing to attend)

Bingo every Sunday!

Thou Shalt Fluffle! :fluffle:

Any two adults may be wed

Science is a good thing!

Thats all for now :)
I demand conscription! I shall not be denied!
:fluffle:

This has been a forced conscription broadcast from the Greater Church of Bumboat. Please wipe your shoes before entering.

I demand conscription! I shall not be denied!
:fluffle:

LOL you can join the congregation but the priestesshood is close to all wangbearers. Selah, it is written.
:p

I wouldn't.

Would just cause more problems.

I wouldn't.

Would just cause more problems.

You wouldn't let FD join my church?
Are you planning on joining? You could be a Priestess! You get 10% of the bingo money. :D

I don't know that I would want to create another religion, but rewriting the 10 commandments to be more useful would work:

1. Thou shalt accept responsibility for everything that happens in one's life

2. Thou shalt not blame others for one's misfortune

3. Thou shalt not complain

4. If thou dost complain, thou shalt be accountable for rectifying the source of one's complaint

5. Thou shalt treat everything with respect

6. Thou shalt not point out the shortcomings of others without being requested to do so

7. Thou shalt not point out thine own shortcomings as a way to gain leverage over others

Ok, so it's only seven, but I'll add more if I think of them.

LOL you can join the congregation but the priestesshood is close to all wangbearers. Selah, it is written.
:p
Fine. But I warn you, I'll need the...confessional more than once a week to cope with the disappointment.;)

I wouldn't.

Would just cause more problems.
That's what I told her via MSN, but she doesn't seem to have listened. *shrugs*

You wouldn't let FD join my church?
Are you planning on joining? You could be a Priestess! You get 10% of the bingo money. :D
LMFAO!!

Beer worship .

If you could make your own religion, with its own Holy book and scriptures, what would it be.
Please be crazy(as I know you all are inside)and quote from your own relgions holy books to back up your pionts and rubbish everyone elses religion!
:D
The Church of Natural Process. The purpose of this religion is to pay homage ( we don't worship anytthing, per se ) to the natural world and to insure the contiuning evolution of the species. This requires ceremonial copulation as a means to this end. :D

Fine. But I warn you, I'll need the...confessional more than once a week to cope with the disappointment.;)

Oh all confessions are heard by Physicists. Through the holy action of Quantum entanglement all confessions are at the same instant heard by me.
I may not be listening though. Still you do get a fluffle after each confession.
:fluffle:

I've already invented a religion awhile ago with my high school friends;

The Two Minute Noo Noo Religion.

*Wink wink nudge nudge say no more* ;)

Oh all confessions are heard by Physicists. Through the holy action of Quantum entanglement all confessions are at the same instant heard by me.
I may not be listening though. Still you do get a fluffle after each confession.
:fluffle:
If only you weren't a lesbian....*sigh*;)
:fluffle:

I've already invented a religion awhile ago with my high school friends;

The Two Minute Noo Noo Religion.

*Wink wink nudge nudge say no more* ;)
Is that at all related to Snoo Snoo?;)

We had a little religion based around me. I was God, and I had a Pope, a Divine T-shirt (actually a person, oddly enough), a Rabbi....the one thing I never found was a good Priestess.

and it was all going so well.........I would invent checkianity, where all worship me, the godesses only daughter,who was slain by the mighty heffelox of beberlone 4 in order to save our souls from eternal damnation in the rubbish bin of hell and give us an eternity in a pot of honey with lesbians.

If I could make my own religion I wouldn't.

If I could make my own religion I wouldn't.
why?it would be fun to cause trouble.
I do gettit tho, religion(or at least its crazy followers)has caused more unnecisary deaths than any other school of thought.
they had fun causing trouble tho!

The Time Travel Temple: Due to actions in the future, casuality is no more. And neither is Nikov.

Goal: Screw with Time Travel

Book Quotes: "Cheese. Cheese. Cheese."

"If you haven't misplaced at least one historic figure in one of your weeks, you aren't doing your job."

"If you've made at least one person crazy, you're doing it right."

"Everything's better with death rays."

The Time Travel Temple: Due to actions in the future, casuality is no more. And neither is Nikov.

Goal: Screw with Time Travel

Book Quotes: "Cheese. Cheese. Cheese."

"If you haven't misplaced at least one historic figure in one of your weeks, you aren't doing your job."

"If you've made at least one person crazy, you're doing it right."

"Everything's better with death rays."

I love it!which historical figure would you(or have you or will you in the future when you travel forward)do you want to misplace the most.
I choose hitler, take him for a quick journey to israel sometime in the 1970's

why?it would be fun to cause trouble.
I do gettit tho, religion(or at least its crazy followers)has caused more unnecisary deaths than any other school of thought.
they had fun causing trouble tho!

Too much hassle. Who needs whiney humans asking you to help them and then if you do killing people in your name for not agreeing with their interpretation of what you said?

Too much hassle. Who needs whiney humans asking you to help them and then if you do killing people in your name for not agreeing with their interpretation of what you said?

never too much hassle causing trouble!
dance my puppets,dance mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

If you could make your own religion,
Have done.
with its own Holy book and scriptures,Doesn't need one as I'm the only member.
what would it be.
Most likely comprised of near-random notes scrawled childishly on napkins.
Please be crazy
Check.
(as I know you all are inside)
Damnit, that's the third tinfoil hat that's given out on me this month!
and quote from your own relgions holy books
See point two.
to back up your pionts
Why? I don't need to sell it to anybody.
and rubbish everyone elses religion!
Nah. Not worth it.
:D
;)

crazy as asked.
can I have one of your tin foil hats.....since I cant become a member of your religion?

I love it!which historical figure would you(or have you or will you in the future when you travel forward)do you want to misplace the most.
I choose hitler, take him for a quick journey to israel sometime in the 1970's

I'd give a bunch of historical figures futuristic wepons and give them worm-like beasts to ride and drop them in the Wild West.

I'd give a bunch of historical figures futuristic wepons and give them worm-like beasts to ride and drop them in the Wild West.
worm like beasts?like the ones off dune! that could be very fun.
you could give benjamin disraeli a ray gun,and william gladstone a dune like worm beast and make them have a duel.That would resole their conflict one and for all!!...I wonder who would win that battle?

I would name my god-head...NOB!!!!!!!!!!


(with capitalization and exclamation points, whenever it is written, the more exclamation points, the holier the writing is)

I might add that NOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would have the OB pronounced like the last part of the word 'lobe'. Not like 'knob'.

Peter David is a GREAT author who wrote the new frontier series. We should make a religion from Peter David.

Peterdavidism:
1)Be a cool barbarian with a scar.
2)When all else fails, blast your way through.
3)Don't act stupid.Starfleet needs smart people.
4)Join the region: The New Frontier and your path to Peterdavidism shall be complete.


All nations are welcome to this region.

I might add that NOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would have the OB pronounced like the last part of the word 'lobe'. Not like 'knob'.

any holy book?
the cock for instance(pronounced coke?)

Buddism.

Led by the Grand Master Budda and followed by his/her (whoever has the most bud) Buddites.

Worship the Holy Bong and the Virgin Mary Jane is mandatory every day at 4:20 am and pm.

It is written in scripture: "Thou shalt hit, hit, pass."

Priests and Priestess of Budda wear robes of the finest hemp, bake brownies and dedicate themselves to the study of herbology. They can often be found hotboxing the lodge.

Two main religious holidays are Munchie Day (every first Friday of each month) and Buddahumma (April 20th).

There's more but I can't remember.

any holy book?
the cock for instance(pronounced coke?)
I believe that is it, how did you know? You must be a prophet of NOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe that is it, how did you know? You must be a prophet of NOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she is you know, NOB's sister, nobette!

she is you know, NOB's sister, nobette!
*Prostrates self on ground*

Forgive me my lady, I was unable to see your glory with my mortal eyes.

*cries more than Sam does in the entirety of the Lord of the Rings*

*Prostrates self on ground*

Forgive me my lady, I was unable to see your glory with my mortal eyes.

*cries more than Sam does in the entirety of the Lord of the Rings*

thats a hell of a lot of crying.......here have some tissue, I have ripped it out of the holy cock.....;)

worm like beasts?like the ones off dune! that could be very fun.
you could give benjamin disraeli a ray gun,and william gladstone a dune like worm beast and make them have a duel.That would resole their conflict one and for all!!...I wonder who would win that battle?

And we could send them off to raid cities. Imagine the look on people's faces when they see their Founding Fathers armed with futuritic weapons riding on worm beasts towards their cities.

And we could send them off to raid cities. Imagine the look on people's faces when they see their Founding Fathers armed with futuritic weapons riding on worm beasts towards their cities.
ha ha,yeah!
and in britain e can give king athur some pyrotechnics to give to merlin,then they coulg conqur europe by scaring them with flashbulbs and change the course of history forever!!!!!!

we could give alexander the great an ak-47, what fun!:sniper:

thats a hell of a lot of crying.......here have some tissue, I have ripped it out of the holy cock.....;)
I know...*continues weeping*...thanks for the blessed tissues of NOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I've decided to reread the entire series, and in the first three hundred pages, Sam has been documented to have burst into random tears at least four times. And these are the happiest parts of the book as well.

I've already invented a religion awhile ago with my high school friends;

The Two Minute Noo Noo Religion.

*Wink wink nudge nudge say no more* ;)
Want to be my High Priestess? :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

we could give alexander the great an ak-47, what fun!:sniper:

And then Mohammed can launch nukes at Moses! :eek:

I know...*continues weeping*...thanks for the blessed tissues of NOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I've decided to reread the entire series, and in the first three hundred pages, Sam has been documented to have burst into random tears at least four times. And these are the happiest parts of the book as well.

I love that book......except for the council of elrond chapter...thats boring..

Want to be my High Priestess? :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:


Ooh, me! Pick me!
*waves hands frantically*

I love that book......except for the council of elrond chapter...thats boring..
The first time I read the LOTR, about seven years ago now, when the cross Hollin seemed to take forever, now it just flew by. Council of Elrond is still kinda slow though.

And then Mohammed can launch nukes at Moses! :eek:

yeah!!!,we could have a battle of the prophets,mohammed can have nukes,jesus can have a lightsaber and the force(to be able to resist the radiation from mo's nukes)moses can have a h bomb or 10,isiah can go all alex the great and have an army of gemetically modified flying monkeys armed with ak-47's and elijah can have a sun crusher(he need all the help he can get) jonah is quite happy with his whale but Im sure that with cloning and the like we can make it a personal body guard whale with lazer eyes.Vishnu can have a hydrochloric acid filed water gun and the power of his mind!

Ooh, me! Pick me!
*waves hands frantically*
Well Ok Since you ask so nicely! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
Come into the back room so I can "anoint" you...:D
:cool:

Ooh, me! Pick me!
*waves hands frantically*
if your talking to me, Ill be your h.p., if not then Ill cry!!!;)

The first time I read the LOTR, about seven years ago now, when the cross Hollin seemed to take forever, now it just flew by. Council of Elrond is still kinda slow though.

yeah, definatly........Im glad they cut most of it from the film, that would have taken up 3 hrs on its own!!!

yeah, definatly........Im glad they cut most of it from the film, that would have taken up 3 hrs on its own!!!
A fourth film...yikes.

a trilogy in four parts.....

if your talking to me, Ill be your h.p., if not then Ill cry!!!;)
You can a priestess too if you want. And serve "under" Grainne or me. ;)
Or if you'd rather you can collect "worship" from our followers....:cool:
:fluffle:

a trilogy in four parts.....
Well, one of my other favorite trilogies (although LOTR is my favorite, hands down) has five parts. :D

yeah!!!,we could have a battle of the prophets,mohammed can have nukes,jesus can have a lightsaber and the force(to be able to resist the radiation from mo's nukes)moses can have a h bomb or 10,isiah can go all alex the great and have an army of gemetically modified flying monkeys armed with ak-47's and elijah can have a sun crusher(he need all the help he can get) jonah is quite happy with his whale but Im sure that with cloning and the like we can make it a personal body guard whale with lazer eyes.Vishnu can have a hydrochloric acid filed water gun and the power of his mind!

And then they all kill Xenu. :)

Well Ok Since you ask so nicely! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
Come into the back room so I "anoint" you...:D
:cool:

Ooh! The back room even! :D :fluffle:

if your talking to me, Ill be your h.p., if not then Ill cry!!!;)

Don't cry! I 'll take you to be annointed with me!

Heretics against the holy snorkles of NOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooh! The back room even! :D :fluffle:



Don't cry! I 'll take you to be annointed with me!
Yay! 2 priestesses to anoint. :D My religion is taking off. :fluffle: :fluffle:

Yay! 2 priestesses to anoint. :D My religion is taking off. :fluffle: :fluffle:


The question is what are we taking off exactly? I should probably stop here before I get myself in trouble.

I have made my own religion. It's called Ultra Partyism. More information here:

http://www.freewebs.com/ultra-partyism/

Like I said, more information here:

http://www.freewebs.com/ultra-partyism/

And here:

http://www.freewebs.com/ultra-partyism/

And here:

http://www.freewebs.com/ultra-partyism/

JOIN NOW. THE MOON BASE AWAITS.

Alcoholism.

Sacred teachings: The eternal wisdoms recorded by the Holy Voicemail during the Great Holy Drunk-Dial.

Services: Every Thursday - Saturday night at the local bar. Also Mimosas and Screwdrivers on Sunday mornings.

Patron Saint: St. Pauli Girl

Prophets: He/She who supplieth the keg.

Want to be my High Priestess? :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
That's actually the one role I still have available.

That's actually the one role I still have available.

You'll be Bumboat's high priestess?

Can't I be it? :p

You'll be Bumboat's high priestess?

Can't I be it? :p
Eh....no. The only position I have left available in my religion is that of High Priestess. I never found anyone qualified.

Eh....no. The only position I have left available in my religion is that of High Priestess. I never found anyone qualified.

*Goes back to read what you said about your religion earlier in the thread*

Want to be my High Priestess? :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Sure :D

:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Is that at all related to Snoo Snoo?;)

We had a little religion based around me. I was God, and I had a Pope, a Divine T-shirt (actually a person, oddly enough), a Rabbi....the one thing I never found was a good Priestess.

No, no it's not :p

So who fills these holy offices?

*Goes back to read what you said about your religion earlier in the thread*
It has been awhile, hasn't it?:p

No, no it's not :p

So who fills these holy offices?
My closest tangible friends.

It has been awhile, hasn't it?:p

Yeah, no kidding, who grave-dug this? :rolleyes:

Yeah, no kidding, who grave-dug this? :rolleyes:
I dunno. I forgot. That was so many pages back.:p

My closest tangible friends.

Ah, I see, so no one on this forum could fill that spot? :p

I am the Archpriest of the sacred Cult of Bun-bun! Our holy book is the ancient (relatively speaking) Tome of the Mini-Lop, with a few choice extracts below:

"Bun-bun appears in many forms and aspects: his cultists have seen him as a cuttle 'lil bunny rabbit, a seven-thousand ton super-tank, and a piece of grafitti on the archpriest's [my] homework diary."

"Thou shalt not eat the meat of the telemarketer, for it is unclean. Burn all sacrifes of such beings."

"And Bun-bun appeared unto Torg from within a cardboard box and said unto him: "Bite me, Nerd-Boy!"

We also keep records of past prophets and yadda, but the imortant thing, and the thing I'm sure will have me with too many acolytes to fit in one temple, is this:

The Third Crusade against the Telemarketers approaches!

My question is
What do you mean "If"?

Ah, I see, so no one on this forum could fill that spot? :p
Someone could. At leat until I found a replacement. Why? Want the job?

Someone could. At leat until I found a replacement. Why? Want the job?

Reckon I could be the High Priestess for two religions at once? :p

If you could make your own religion, with its own Holy book and scriptures, what would it be.
Please be crazy(as I know you all are inside)and quote from your own relgions holy books to back up your pionts and rubbish everyone elses religion!
:D

If you want to know about a made-up religion, look up Combustianism on the NSwiki. I've already made up my own religion, and it's pretty kick-ass.

If you could make your own religion, with its own Holy book and scriptures, what would it be.
Please be crazy(as I know you all are inside)and quote from your own relgions holy books to back up your pionts and rubbish everyone elses religion!
:D


I am God. Thats all you need to know. All of my NS posts are my words of wisdom....well maybe not the stuff about the penis pump. They are forbidden.

If I could make my own religion...

Oh wait. It's already been made. Hint: Heaven has a beer volcano and a stripper factory.

Reckon I could be the High Priestess for two religions at once? :p
You wouldn't wanna be my High Priestess. There might be certain....rituals you'd find distasteful.:p

You can a priestess too if you want. And serve "under" Grainne or me. ;)
Or if you'd rather you can collect "worship" from our followers....:cool:
:fluffle:
WOO!:)

Well, one of my other favorite trilogies (although LOTR is my favorite, hands down) has five parts. :D
ooh, mine too,best set of5 books in the world!(although the 5th is not as good as the first 4, and the resturaunt at the end of the universe is my fave)(I assume you are talking about hitch hikers guide....should be mandatory reading!)

And then they all kill Xenu. :)
hell yeah,then xenu will stop possesing our bodies or whatever shit xenu is supposed to get up too(crazy scientologists)

Heretics against the holy snorkles of NOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOB(or nobe as he likes to be known)needs to be taken down a peg or two, hey maybe we should set moses on him with a couple of nukes;)

I have made my own religion. It's called Ultra Partyism. More information here:

http://www.freewebs.com/ultra-partyism/

Like I said, more information here:

http://www.freewebs.com/ultra-partyism/

And here:

http://www.freewebs.com/ultra-partyism/

And here:

http://www.freewebs.com/ultra-partyism/

JOIN NOW. THE MOON BASE AWAITS.

oh my good lord, you are sooooo cool!
I love it, you have taken it to a whole other level,can I be a member of your cult too!I like the part about ass kickery(like lee and norris)

Alcoholism.

Sacred teachings: The eternal wisdoms recorded by the Holy Voicemail during the Great Holy Drunk-Dial.

Services: Every Thursday - Saturday night at the local bar. Also Mimosas and Screwdrivers on Sunday mornings.

Patron Saint: St. Pauli Girl

Prophets: He/She who supplieth the keg.

hey, you can have famous patrons(like oliver reeed)George best can be a matyr to the cause of alchoholism.....:p

Sure :D

:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
Wohoo! Roast the fatted calf and bring out new casks of wine!
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
So far that 3 priestesses and 1 follower:D

We would worship Dis, the God of Chaos and Entropy. The Irresistable Force and Immutable Law of the Universe.

We would practice pre-emptive causality by prayer, whereby the bad karma in our lives would be thrown onto non-believers (i.e., our bad luck thrown on unsuspecting people), and we would consume their good karma.

In order to achieve this, we would sacrifice the non-believers...

We would worship Dis, the God of Chaos and Entropy. The Irresistable Force and Immutable Law of the Universe.

We would practice pre-emptive causality by prayer, whereby the bad karma in our lives would be thrown onto non-believers (i.e., our bad luck thrown on unsuspecting people), and we would consume their good karma.

In order to achieve this, we would sacrifice the non-believers...

how exactly?what would your holy book be DK?

how exactly?what would your holy book be DK?
The Second Law of Thermodynamics

The Second Law of Thermodynamics
any good quotes for the eager(bear baiting)public?

any good quotes for the eager(bear baiting)public?

The short form is that "everything cancels out". So, in order to consume someone else's karma, we must burn them in ritual sacrifice...

Heck, every religion has to have something violently nutty, or it isn't religion.

The short form is that "everything cancels out". So, in order to consume someone else's karma, we must burn them in ritual sacrifice...

Heck, every religion has to have something violently nutty, or it isn't religion.

indeed, look at scientology, christianity,Islam(names all the rest of the religions/cults)

the religion i follow deosent have scriptures.

Wohoo! Roast the fatted calf and bring out new casks of wine!
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
So far that 3 priestesses and 1 follower:D

Excellent :DI was going to say something naughty here, but last time I did that, I got a warning, so never mind :P
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

You wouldn't wanna be my High Priestess. There might be certain....rituals you'd find distasteful.:p

o_O

...

Ok, then I don't want to know :p

o_O

...

Ok, then I don't want to know :p
I'm just kidding. I'm just not sure you'd really want the position.

sounds kina fun..............:fluffle: ?

sounds kina fun..............:fluffle: ?
What does?

Wohoo! Roast the fatted calf and bring out new casks of wine!
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
So far that 3 priestesses and 1 follower:D

that does!

How about inikresaism?

In the beginning, there was the first being, this first being 'riva-ed into two different forms: Teknekansa and Mjehekansa. They fell in love, but Teknekansa knew that her real destiny was in changing her form and so she created the earth. Mjehekansa was despaired about the loss of his one and only, he was so despaired that he cracked of pure grief and his shards fell on the earth. Every shard became the kansu (=soul) of a living being, except for the biggest 2, which became the gods Relekhakansa and Jaortirkansa. Relekhakansa is the creator, Jaortirkansa the destroyer. If a being dies, Jaortirkansa rips the kansu out of its body, tosses it to Relekhakansa and mobilizes the forces of nature to destroy its body. When the kansu is tossed to relekhakansa, it flies through the divine place (hadikansa) and gets a glimpse of the divine glory. If the being was behaving well, it had more simu (=good karma) and this means, the kansu can easier avoid reincarnation. If Relekhakansu encounters an advanced, simuful being, the god sends it to the hadikansa, not only as visiting entity, but as permanent resident.

that does!
As a priestess or a follower?:p

How about inikresaism?

In the beginning, there was the first being, this first being 'riva-ed into two different forms: Teknekansa and Mjehekansa. They fell in love, but Teknekansa knew that her real destiny was in changing her form and so she created the earth. Mjehekansa was despaired about the loss of his one and only, he was so despaired that he cracked of pure grief and his shards fell on the earth. Every shard became the kansu (=soul) of a living being, except for the biggest 2, which became the gods Relekhakansa and Jaortirkansa. Relekhakansa is the creator, Jaortirkansa the destroyer. If a being dies, Jaortirkansa rips the kansu out of its body, tosses it to Relekhakansa and mobilizes the forces of nature to destroy its body. When the kansu is tossed to relekhakansa, it flies through the divine place (hadikansa) and gets a glimpse of the divine glory. If the being was behaving well, it had more simu (=good karma) and this means, the kansu can easier avoid reincarnation. If Relekhakansu encounters an advanced, simuful being, the god sends it to the hadikansa, not only as visiting entity, but as permanent resident.
Nope, too serious, and you just changed the names from another religion... looks like Shinto or Hindu...

Andrewjacksonity. It's not going to be Jesus during the second coming. It's going to be Andrew Jackson. :sniper:

The Thirteen Commandments of Should Land

1. The Sacred Day of Resting shall be Monday. All prophets of Should Land faced severe penalties when being more perky than one should be on a stain of a day upon an otherwise enjoyable week.
2. Thou shalt give one stranger a hug every week, preferrably on the Sacred Day of Resting. Hugs enrichen the Should-Soul.
3. Thou shalt not listen to music made entirely for commercial gain. It makes the Should-Soul weep, plus it annoys everyone outside of your car when they hear the foul phrase of "Yo ain't no holla back girl".
4. Thou shalt get an animal companion, preferably if getting one from an unholy place of destruction of the strayed.
5. Thou shalt discuss the days issues to expand your mind and achieve a sense of self-awareness.
6. Thou shalt not wear socks with thongs (or as the blasphemers call them, flip-flops).
7. Thou shalt not spell "Britney" with an I at the end.
8. Thou shalt not wear golfing shirts, they make the Should-Souls of even blind gay men weep.
9. Thou shalt not post long whiny bullitens on Myspace. Thou shalt watch porn instead.
10. Thou shalt respect thy elders. Unless they tell you to "not forget the washing up".
11. Thou shalt respect the sanctity of all living things. Unless they really piss you off, then hit them upside the head.
12. Thou shalt spell colour with a "u".
13. Thou shalt watch the gospel of the Doctor named Who and the curvacious glory of his assistant, whoever she may be at the time.

I would have the deity hand out two commandments:

1. Love your neighbor. Hell, love everybody.
2. Be free. Disobey everyone if you see fit, even Me, except this commandment and the one immediately preceding it.

Whatever my made-up religion was, the scriptures would identify Bob Dole as the Devil. Why? I don't know.

Whatever my made-up religion was, the scriptures would identify Bob Dole as the Devil. Why? I don't know.
Because Bob Dole likes to identify Bob Dole as Bob Dole.

I am currently writing a piece of fiction (hoping to get it published) that has a scriptural feel to it. Maybe I could start areligion around it. That is how scientology got started, right?

*Hell come to think of it, thats how all religions got started*

How about inikresaism?

In the beginning, there was the first being, this first being 'riva-ed into two different forms: Teknekansa and Mjehekansa. They fell in love, but Teknekansa knew that her real destiny was in changing her form and so she created the earth. Mjehekansa was despaired about the loss of his one and only, he was so despaired that he cracked of pure grief and his shards fell on the earth. Every shard became the kansu (=soul) of a living being, except for the biggest 2, which became the gods Relekhakansa and Jaortirkansa. Relekhakansa is the creator, Jaortirkansa the destroyer. If a being dies, Jaortirkansa rips the kansu out of its body, tosses it to Relekhakansa and mobilizes the forces of nature to destroy its body. When the kansu is tossed to relekhakansa, it flies through the divine place (hadikansa) and gets a glimpse of the divine glory. If the being was behaving well, it had more simu (=good karma) and this means, the kansu can easier avoid reincarnation. If Relekhakansu encounters an advanced, simuful being, the god sends it to the hadikansa, not only as visiting entity, but as permanent resident.

wow, you spemt a lot of time on that.I really like it!Does it have a holy book/prophets/ect?

Whatever my made-up religion was, the scriptures would identify Bob Dole as the Devil. Why? I don't know.

cos he is the devil?

I am currently writing a piece of fiction (hoping to get it published) that has a scriptural feel to it. Maybe I could start areligion around it. That is how scientology got started, right?

*Hell come to think of it, thats how all religions got started*

ever watched red dwarf, in one episode they find the long lost front pacge opf teh bible, it says'all works in this book are fictional.All charicters are purley fictional and any reseblance to actual people is purley coincidental'
I have never laughed so much!

wow, you spemt a lot of time on that.I really like it!Does it have a holy book/prophets/ect?

It has a a number of myths but relies on oral tradition mostly. it's the religion, I use in roleplaying.

I can't think of anything that dosn't involve owning women and slaves or eugenics. Seriousely.