NationStates Jolt Archive

I've been dating this girl for a long time now, I think a year, we haven't really been keeping track of it. We've been through alot together, some fights, etc. you know the normal stuff. Anyways a few weeks ago we were talking on the phone, and I told her that she could do better than me and she said "Even if I could, I wouldn't want to, because I want you, because I love you." We've both done some stupid things in our relationship, and we both asked each other why they stay with us, or still want us after we do the stupid things. The answear always been "because I love you." Anyways, she is quite an amazing and wonderful girl, and today I decide to give her the key to my heart. So I brought a funny card today, which has a picture of a couple making love in bed, while be surrounded by Secret Service looking guys, and below that it says "Bob never had sex without using protection." Anyways I've been racking my brain on what to write in the card, and this is the best I've come up with and I want to see what yall think.

"To Elizabeth: I give you this card, to remind you that at least one person loves you, and cares about you. I think you are an amazing and wonderful woman. In this card I include a necklace with two metal on them. The Gold one I got from my first communion. The second is a good luck charm, St. Christopher helped me, so I hope he helps you. This necklace will be a symbol of my love for you, and the key to my heart."

(my name)

"P.S. I hope you got a chuckle from the card."

Elizabeth is a funny name because it rymes with lizard.

Elizabeth is a funny name because it rymes with lizard.
Thats one take on it...

Elizabeth is a funny name because it rymes with lizard.

Umm k... Thanks for the help there....

Umm k... Thanks for the help there....
any time chief, glad I could help

I think one of those saws to cut through the sternum would be a better key to your heart.

I don't know much of the context of the comments you are making in the card.

You and Elizabeth clearly share many intimacies that are alluded to here, that we (the readers) won't know.

But some of what you say, to I, a stranger, makes this card sound almost like you are breaking up with her (or leaving somehow).

Make it simpler, sez I.

"This is the key to my heart". That's the crucial part.

Lose those first two lines, which sound like a Dear Jane. And lose the "I hope he helps you", which again sounds like YOU aren't going to be there to help her.

I don't know about the card itself. Not really romantic, and the "funny" is sort of misplaced, given your intent.

Or at least, my understanding of your intent. Which could be wrong.

Ugh, never give a woman anything of yours, especially if it’s irreplaceable, and especially if it has sentimental value. There’s no guarantee if or in what condition you’ll get it back when the relationship inevitably ends.

And for fuck’s sake, “key to my heart?”

Ugh, never give a woman anything of yours, especially if it’s irreplaceable, and especially if it has sentimental value. There’s no guarantee if or in what condition you’ll get it back when the relationship inevitably ends.

And for fuck’s sake, “key to my heart?”

Misplace anger?

Ugh, never give a woman anything of yours, especially if it’s irreplaceable, and especially if it has sentimental value. There’s no guarantee if or in what condition you’ll get it back when the relationship inevitably ends.

And for fuck’s sake, “key to my heart?”

I think somebody needs a hug.

I've been dating this girl for a long time now, I think a year, we haven't really been keeping track of it. We've been through alot together, some fights, etc. you know the normal stuff. Anyways a few weeks ago we were talking on the phone, and I told her that she could do better than me and she said "Even if I could, I wouldn't want to, because I want you, because I love you." We've both done some stupid things in our relationship, and we both asked each other why they stay with us, or still want us after we do the stupid things. The answear always been "because I love you." Anyways, she is quite an amazing and wonderful girl, and today I decide to give her the key to my heart. So I brought a funny card today, which has a picture of a couple making love in bed, while be surrounded by Secret Service looking guys, and below that it says "Bob never had sex without using protection." Anyways I've been racking my brain on what to write in the card, and this is the best I've come up with and I want to see what yall think.

"To Elizabeth: I give you this card, to remind you that at least one person loves you, and cares about you. I think you are an amazing and wonderful woman. In this card I include a necklace with two metal on them. The Gold one I got from my first communion. The second is a good luck charm, St. Christopher helped me, so I hope he helps you. This necklace will be a symbol of my love for you, and the key to my heart."

(my name)

"P.S. I hope you got a chuckle from the card."
ZOMG, that was...bleh. You lack any sense of eloquence. But other than that....Well, I can't get past that much at the moment.

I think somebody needs a hug.

Either that or sex.

Misplace anger?
Just don't get your hopes up too much; the force of gravity will shatter them against the pavement of reality.

ZOMG, that was...bleh. You lack any sense of eloquence. But other than that....Well, I can't get past that much at the moment.

Would you care to share what you mean by sense of eloquence?

Would you care to share what you mean by sense of eloquence?
Sure. It's a matter of art, really. The words are your paint, the card your canvas. You have just painted the stereotypical bowl of fruit. What you want is a mirror of yourself. That is a writer's objective: to show himself through his words to his particular audience. A quick question: how long before you give her the card?

Sure. It's a matter of art, really. The words are your paint, the card your canvas. You have just painted the stereotypical bowl of fruit. What you want is a mirror of yourself. That is a writer's objective: to show himself through his words to his particular audience. A quick question: how long before you give her the card?

I dunno, I was planning on giving it to her sometimes this week. It's been at least a year now that we've been together. (We really should find that date).

I dunno, I was planning on giving it to her sometimes this week. It's been at least a year now that we've been together. (We really should find that date).
If you'd like, I could give you some ideas. And by that, I mean I could try revising it for you, which basically entails me rewriting it as I see fit and suggesting it to you.

Ugh, never give a woman anything of yours, especially if it’s irreplaceable, and especially if it has sentimental value. There’s no guarantee if or in what condition you’ll get it back when the relationship inevitably ends.

And for fuck’s sake, “key to my heart?”
I gotta agree. God knows how much crap I've lost to relationships before I learned that one...

Anything that is very special to you and can never be replaced should remain in your posession

If you'd like, I could give you some ideas. And by that, I mean I could try revising it for you, which basically entails me rewriting it as I see fit and suggesting it to you.

ok, that'll work. :)

ok, that'll work. :)
Excellent.
*opens Word, then steeples fingers, making it ridiculously difficult to type, let alone copy and paste*

I think it sounds hilarious. 'The key to my heart' is just pure cheese, I'd laugh if anyone said that to me. :D

I think it sounds hilarious. 'The key to my heart' is just pure cheese, I'd laugh if anyone said that to me. :D

lol, ok so I admit it sounds corny. But hey it was better than my original idea, an actual skeleton Key with a red bow tied around it lol.

lol, ok so I admit it sounds corny. But hey it was better than my original idea, an actual skeleton Key with a red bow tied around it lol.
No, that's kinda clever. It'd make her laugh, which is always good, but I wouldn't use that unless she's been a little angry with you lately.
*swings axe back to Word*

I think that the card and the message that you are trying to get across with the writing are contrasting too much. If you really want to get into that romantic stuff you need a card to match. Although the card is kinda of funny (also pretty crude) and will make her laugh, I would say save it for a different occasion and get a new card for now.

I think that the card and the message that you are trying to get across with the writing are contrasting too much. If you really want to get into that romantic stuff you need a card to match. Although the card is kinda of funny (also pretty crude) and will make her laugh, I would say save it for a different occasion and get a new card for now.
This is my advice for after I fix the message up a bit. You're going to need a classy card for this one.
*returns to the grindstone that is Word*

I think that the card and the message that you are trying to get across with the writing are contrasting too much. If you really want to get into that romantic stuff you need a card to match. Although the card is kinda of funny (also pretty crude) and will make her laugh, I would say save it for a different occasion and get a new card for now.

Yea, you're probably right.

Yea, you're probably right.
No, that one is right. You need a better card. Save the other one for her birthday...and follow it up with a night of passionate love-making.

No, that one is right. You need a better card. Save the other one for her birthday...and follow it up with a night of passionate love-making.

Hey hey, one thing at a time here, we're both insecure with our bodies and haven't really umm... done that yet...

Hey hey, one thing at a time here, we're both insecure with our bodies and haven't really umm... done that yet...
Like I said: birthday. It's corny, crude and sexual. And it's a guaranteed laugh to help you two unwind. And I didn't say which birthday. Save it for when you're married, for all I care.

Well if you are into sympathetic magic then items you hold dear carry around a little piece of you. So perhaps instead of being the key to your heart it would change to a little piece of me. But hey what do I know I can't even manage a relationship for 2 months much less a year.

I think it sounds hilarious. 'The key to my heart' is just pure cheese, I'd laugh if anyone said that to me. :D

Oh...what if it was someone you idolized...I don't think I would ever laugh if someone was sincere about the whole key to the heart...

Hey hey, one thing at a time here, we're both insecure with our bodies and haven't really umm... done that yet...
revel in your insecurity. You know what it is like to be insecure, so you also know what can be said that makes that insecurity go away. Work it.

Well if you are into sympathetic magic then items you hold dear carry around a little piece of you. So perhaps instead of being the key to your heart it would change to a little piece of me. But hey what do I know I can't even manage a relationship for 2 months much less a year.
I've never had a relationship, but I still offered to help.

Oh...what if it was someone you idolized...I don't think I would ever laugh if someone was sincere about the whole key to the heart...
She wouldn't. She has no soul.

revel in your insecurity. You know what it is like to be insecure, so you also know what can be said that makes that insecurity go away. Work it.
Exploring and laughing at it? That's the only thing that comes to my inexperienced mind.

Exploring and laughing at it? That's the only thing that comes to my inexperienced mind.

lol yea, the best thing I could think of is "hey you're body can't be as bad as mine."

NS is prolly not a good place to ask for relationship advice ;)

lol yea, the best thing I could think of is "hey you're body can't be as bad as mine."
By laughing, I meant little giggles here and there. No, just try some exploring with the hands while distracting her with passionate kissing. And that particular look in your eye....damnit! You're making me think of P&P!:(

NS is prolly not a good place to ask for relationship advice ;)
Depends on who's posting.

By laughing, I meant little giggles here and there. No, just try some exploring with the hands while distracting her with passionate kissing. And that particular look in your eye....damnit! You're making me think of P&P!:(

lol.

I really agree with Long Beach Island. I would think that many people here waste their time online (like me) because they don't have a bf/gf to waste their time with. If they did, they wouldn't be here. Because they don't, they are giving out advice that is useless because they don't have any experience on what works, just what doesn't. Man, I am good at insulting myself.

lol.
Oh, sure, you think it's funny. But I suppose you didn't get the memo (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11261489&postcount=851).:(

I really agree with Long Beach Island. I would think that many people here waste their time online (like me) because they don't have a bf/gf to waste their time with. If they did, they wouldn't be here. Because they don't, they are giving out advice that is useless because they don't have any experience on what works, just what doesn't. Man, I am good at insulting myself.
I've got some good ideas. I'm not sharing most of them. And this is a matter of words, mostly, to me. Words are my specialty. They're what I do.

Hehe, I would never tell any of my friends, or my GF that I play NS, or go around on internet forums. But im only on here every so often, so I guess it doesnt matter, anyway, sometimes its nice to have an intelligent discussion, seeing as all I talk abotu with my friends is girls an sports, and whatever else dumb shit comes to mind.

I've got some good ideas. I'm not sharing most of them. And this is a matter of words, mostly, to me. Words are my specialty. They're what I do.

I can write good stories, but I can't write in a fancy language.

I can write good stories, but I can't write in a fancy language.
Ah, well, allow me to introduce you to me, the Stilted Diction King and Master of the Paraphrase.
*bows formally*

Ah, well, allow me to introduce you to me, the Stilted Diction King and Master of the Paraphrase.
*bows formally*

and allow me to introudce you to me, The author of horrors, and master of twist and turns!

*bows formally too*

and allow me to introudce you to me, The author of horrors, and master of twist and turns!

*bows formally too*
You dubbed yourself, didn't you?:p

You dubbed yourself, didn't you?:p

Hey, so did you, so hush! :p Where's the revision verison of my note?

I really agree with Long Beach Island. I would think that many people here waste their time online (like me) because they don't have a bf/gf to waste their time with. If they did, they wouldn't be here. Because they don't, they are giving out advice that is useless because they don't have any experience on what works, just what doesn't. Man, I am good at insulting myself.

Not true for everyone... I'm working on four months with my (incredibly awesome) girlfriend, and I'm on here from time-to-time... it usually is only about 5 minutes every couple of days anyhow, so there's no reason someone with a social life can't be on NS.

Anyhow, here's a crazy idea you might want to throw around... perhaps, instead of a card, take her out to a nice dinner, then just talk to her about where you are and where you're heading. Not many people can get their point across well in written form. It's much easier to communicate, especially something as emotionally packed as this, verbally and in person. Let her know where you'd like to go in the relationship. It doesn't need to be a speech or an eloquent declaration of love... it just needs to be from the heart, and appropriate. Talk naturally. Don't plan an event out of it. The special times will come along without the planning, and it will help ensure that the moment isn't awkward.

Just my $0.02.

Hey, so did you, so hush! :p Where's the revision verison of my note?
No, I didn't. My old Expository Writing teacher crowned me Stilted Diction King, and my English 110/204 teacher dubbed me Master of the Paraphrase. Which is why you fail at life.:p And it isn't done yet. I'm too tired to finish it now. I'll give it back to you sometime later. It'll be much more...romantic, ergo, eloquent.

Not true for everyone... I'm working on four months with my (incredibly awesome) girlfriend, and I'm on here from time-to-time... it usually is only about 5 minutes every couple of days anyhow, so there's no reason someone with a social life can't be on NS.

Anyhow, here's a crazy idea you might want to throw around... perhaps, instead of a card, take her out to a nice dinner, then just talk to her about where you are and where you're heading. Not many people can get their point across well in written form. It's much easier to communicate, especially something as emotionally packed as this, verbally and in person. Let her know where you'd like to go in the relationship. It doesn't need to be a speech or an eloquent declaration of love... it just needs to be from the heart, and appropriate. Talk naturally. Don't plan an event out of it. The special times will come along without the planning, and it will help ensure that the moment isn't awkward.

Just my $0.02.
Sure, that's all great, but he seems to want to do the card thing, which is an excellent opportunity for eloquence.

Btw, if she asks how you came up with anything so brilliant as I'll give you, just say you had help from a Muse's lover.;)

Sure, that's all great, but he seems to want to do the card thing, which is an excellent opportunity for eloquence.

Btw, if she asks how you came up with anything so brilliant as I'll give you, just say you had help from a Muse's lover.;)

OK, have fun ;) good luck to both of you.

OK, have fun ;) good luck to both of you.
Oh, I shall.
*twiddles fingers evilly*
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/1370.gif

Ugh, never give a woman anything of yours, especially if it’s irreplaceable, and especially if it has sentimental value. There’s no guarantee if or in what condition you’ll get it back when the relationship inevitably ends.

And for fuck’s sake, “key to my heart?”

Quoted for truth.

/thread

It would be better for you to actually buying something that could hold significance for you both as a relationship, instead of giving her something that has emotional significance for you alone.

Oh, and happened to me once, one of my boyfriends gave me the compromise ring of his fathers, who were dead, a chain with a ruby worn by his grandmother, famous around here.

Didn't work...I think I have those things in a drawer somewhere...

Oh, and happened to me once, one of my boyfriends gave me the compromise ring of his fathers, who were dead, a chain with a ruby worn by his grandmother, famous around here.

Didn't work...I think I have those things in a drawer somewhere...

You evil, evil woman!

*swoon*

I've been dating this girl for a long time now, I think a year, we haven't really been keeping track of it. We've been through alot together, some fights, etc. you know the normal stuff. Anyways a few weeks ago we were talking on the phone, and I told her that she could do better than me and she said "Even if I could, I wouldn't want to, because I want you, because I love you." We've both done some stupid things in our relationship, and we both asked each other why they stay with us, or still want us after we do the stupid things. The answear always been "because I love you." Anyways, she is quite an amazing and wonderful girl, and today I decide to give her the key to my heart. So I brought a funny card today, which has a picture of a couple making love in bed, while be surrounded by Secret Service looking guys, and below that it says "Bob never had sex without using protection." Anyways I've been racking my brain on what to write in the card, and this is the best I've come up with and I want to see what yall think.

"To Elizabeth: I give you this card, to remind you that at least one person loves you, and cares about you. I think you are an amazing and wonderful woman. In this card I include a necklace with two metal on them. The Gold one I got from my first communion. The second is a good luck charm, St. Christopher helped me, so I hope he helps you. This necklace will be a symbol of my love for you, and the key to my heart."

(my name)

"P.S. I hope you got a chuckle from the card."

It'll be more romantic if you put it in a romantic card

You evil, evil woman!

*swoon*

Well, I offered to give them back to him, and he told me that it wasn't necessary, so I kept them. I felt it was wrong to wear them, and saved them...I didn't gave them away, sell them or dump them as they were fairly valuable jewelry, but then...

what else could I do?

Well, I offered to give them back to him, and he told me that it wasn't necessary, so I kept them. I felt it was wrong to wear them, and saved them...I didn't gave them away, sell them or dump them as they were fairly valuable jewelry, but then...

what else could I do?
Ah, different context. You probably should have qualified the statement. Yeah, just keeping them somewhere safe is the best thing I could think to do. At least until I got a better idea.