NationStates Jolt Archive

I don't know if many of you suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but it tends to one of the more humourised disorders shown in the media, and I'd like to take this moment to explain the near-breakdown inducing trauma of living inside my head, by showing you what I think, twenty-four hours and day, seven days a week:

"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, THREE-FOUR is seven FOUR-THREE is seven TWO-THREE-TWO is seven ONE-SIX-ONE is seven 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, Lord God please forgive for I have sinned. SIX! Undo six, seven seven seven seven1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, die like Jew, Lord God for I have sinned1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, there's a six, UNDO SIX!"

That's on a good day. Not only that, I MUST walk in perfect sevens, organised as three steps, four steps, four step, three steps, two steps, three steps, two steps, one step, six steps, one step. If I even burn my hand, I have to burn it four more times in a set pattern. I have to eat in the above order and chew around my mouth using the same order. I grind my teeth using this system, tap, drink and even turn on the television.

Not only that, but I have an IQ of 175, but can't focus because most of my mental focus is spent on controlling obsessive behaviour, with compulsive activities, in addition to responding to waves of uncontrollable thoughts.

If there is anyone out there who thinks they are suffering from OCD, have a mental health professional check it out, because before I knew about it, it ruined dozens of important relationships and my life and has caused a host of other medical and psychological problems.

Wow! I don't think I could deal with that... I'm sorry you have to go through that every single day!

However, us double depression people (major depressive disorder and dythymia) don't really have the energy to do such things. I do also suffer from PTSD and anxiety, so when that kicks in my mind races, but it's not 24/7 usually.

I agree that if you think you have mental health problems you should get checked out. They do destory relationships and you need to learn to control your problems. I know it's hard to get help, but you really should. I guess I should say, "do as I say, not as I do" because I am treatment resistent; but I have learned a couple things to keep me somewhat sane along the way.

Wow! I don't think I could deal with that... I'm sorry you have to go through that every single day! .I self medicate by not eating for days on end, until I pass out. The weaker I get, the less intense the obsessions are, but the more intense my need (compulsion) to perform certain acts is

However, us double depression people (major depressive disorder and dythymia) don't really have the energy to do such things. I do also suffer from PTSD and anxiety, so when that kicks in my mind races, but it's not 24/7 usually.I can empathize, nothing is worse then your own mind turning against you

I agree that if you think you have mental health problems you should get checked out. They do destory relationships and you need to learn to control your problems. I know it's hard to get help, but you really should. I guess I should say, "do as I say, not as I do" because I am treatment resistent; but I have learned a couple things to keep me somewhat sane along the wayVery sound advice

Try walking to music of varying meters. Start with seven (-four or -eight), then five, then six, then three, and finally four and two. Perhaps your compuslive subconscious needs to be occupied with something like that in order to give your conscious mind a break.

Not that you probably haven't tried distractions.

I've got a very mild similar compunction, so I can empathize, though not sympathize. Best wishes, mate.

I have either OCD or OCPD or both (In fact probably both, but it must just be that I've learned to assimilate it.) It doesn't really bother me that much. I feel your pain, not only because while it doesn't usually bother me, it has in the past when my life hasn't been going quite like it is supposed to. It got so bad when I was around 11 about I tryed to kill myself at least twice, although nowadays it seems to have died down. Almost everyone hates me, but I've grown to not care recently.

Also in the last week or so, I've developed a tic, which may or may not be related.

Try walking to music of varying meters. Start with seven (-four or -eight), then five, then six, then three, and finally four and two. Perhaps your compuslive subconscious needs to be occupied with something like that in order to give your conscious mind a break.

Not that you probably haven't tried distractions.

I've got a very mild similar compunction, so I can empathize, though not sympathize. Best wishes, mate.
Thanks, my new psychiatrist is considering trying aversion therapy, which I believe may include soemthing like this.

I have either OCD or OCPD or both (In fact probably both.) It doesn't really bother me that much. I feel your pain, not only because while it doesn't usually bother me, it has in the past when my life hasn't been going quite like it is supposed to. It got so bad when I was around 11 about I tryed to kill myself at least twice, although nowadays it seems to have died down. Almost everyone hates me, but I've grown to not care recently.
It has to be OCD if you're aware of it. The problem with OCD is you know what's going on, you know it's irrational, but can't control it. OCPD, on the other hand, the sufferer is unaware of the behaviour.

I know this is sad, because I'm a random on the other side of the world, but TG me and I'll give you my email address. I'm generally good for a chat and the group consensus is, I give good advice.

I self medicate by not eating for days on end, until I pass out. The weaker I get, the less intense the obsessions are, but the more intense my need (compulsion) to perform certain acts is

This doesn't sound too healthy. Maybe you need to try medication. I use Xanax for anxiety and it's the only thing that seems to work (but I can't take it every day or my body will adapt to it and I need more). You really need to eat and to keep yourself strong. Talk to whoever is working with you. Also, maybe meditation would help... Another thing to try is puzzle games. They keep your mind busy! I also agree with the music suggestion.

I can empathize, nothing is worse then your own mind turning against you

Thanks. Yes, I hate it when my mind goes crazy. These are times when emergency medication comes in hand (again, the Xanax). You know it's not rational (such as flashbacks from the PTSD) or is rational but goes too far (like sleeping with a knife from anxiety because you think someone might break in). I also never could watch commercials that objectify women on TV (let alone many TV shows themselves). I would have to watch TV drugged up. I'm doing a lot better now, though.

It has to be OCD if you're aware of it. The problem with OCD is you know what's going on, you know it's irrational, but can't control it. OCPD, on the other hand, the sufferer is unaware of the behaviour.

I know this is sad, because I'm a random on the other side of the world, but TG me and I'll give you my email address. I'm generally good for a chat and the group consensus is, I give good advice.

I know that, but isn't OCD ego dystonic? I'm fine with it, and it's fits who I think I am.

OCPD is a personality pattern that involves a preoccupation with rules, schedules, lists, perfectionism, excessive devotion to work, rigidity and inflexibility.

This is me, so what are the chances I have both? They both seem to fit.

I self medicate by not eating for days on end, until I pass out. The weaker I get, the less intense the obsessions are, but the more intense my need (compulsion) to perform certain acts is

I can empathize, nothing is worse then your own mind turning against you

Very sound advice

Behaviour modification therapy. Try it.

I know that, but isn't OCD ego dystonic? I'm fine with it, and it's fits who I think I am.
Yes, that's the major problem. It's outside of the actions you want/desire to commit.

Behaviour modification therapy. Try it.
I've always been very wary of medication or BMT. I have a number of friends who are medicate for psychological conditions (yes, I'm the poor-little-rich kid who's friends to cocaine and pop Prozac) and there are always really screwy side-effects

I've always been very wary of medication or BMT. I have a number of friends who are medicate for psychological conditions (yes, I'm the poor-little-rich kid who's friends to cocaine and pop Prozac) and there are always really screwy side-effects

BMT tends to work quite well, especially if the client is really willing to change, and I'd wager you are. I'm personally not a fan of the numerous doctors who have a tendency to attempt to medicate the symptoms away, insteado of treating the problem with therapy.

If it's as severe as you say, I think it'd do you a world of good in the long run.

However, us double depression people (major depressive disorder and dythymia) don't really have the energy to do such things. I do also suffer from PTSD and anxiety, so when that kicks in my mind races, but it's not 24/7 usually.

So PTSD is the one where your mind races? What does it stand for?

Yes you're right. Depression sucks. Very very much. And yes, I know about the lethargy thing. Has it ever been so bad that you literally couldn't move? That happened to me thrice. It's just so pathetic. I was just lying there on the floor, drooling on the tile. There were other people there too, but there was nothing I could do. The most I could do was slightly tilt my head. I still have marks around my neck from when I tried to strangle myself (That was two years ago by the way.) too. If you have depression, get antidepressants! Ever since I got them my life has been great! I'm actually happy now for the first time in my life. I enjoy all of those boring activities that I used to hate, simply because I know what the alternative is, and this is so much better than that. Seriously, take the pills. I know there are stigmas, but, honestly, though I never would have beleived it to this extent, life can be good.

Yes, that's the major problem. It's outside of the actions you want/desire to commit.

The point I'm trying to get across is I have no problems with it (except that tic.) I have the preoccupation with rules, schedules, lists, perfectionism, excessive devotion to work, rigidity and inflexibility that is more or less the definition of OCPD and yet I know I have OCD, is it possible I have both, or another part of my personality is just like that coincidentally. It makes me wish I was older at diagnosis. I might as well also mention that I was told that I have about 3 or 4 of the criteria to be deemed autistic (which isn't quite enough.)

So PTSD is the one where your mind races? What does it stand for?.

PTSD and anxiety combined. PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I've had depression all of my life, as long as I can remember, so I can deal with it better than the PTSD and anxiety.

Yes you're right. Depression sucks. Very very much. And yes, I know about the lethargy thing. Has it ever been so bad that you literally couldn't move? That happened to me thrice. It's just so pathetic. I was just lying there on the floor, drooling on the tile. There were other people ther too, but there was nothing I could do. The most I could do was slightly tilt my head. I still have marks around my neck from when I tried to strangle myself (That was two years ago by the way.) too. If you have depression, get antidepressants! Even since I got them my life has been great! I'm actually happy now for the first time in my life. I enjoy all of those boring activities that I used to hate, simply because I know what the alternative is, and this is so much better than that. Seriously, take the pills. I know there are stigmas, but, honestly, though I never would have beleived it to this extent, life can be good.

Yes, my depression has been so bad I could not move. Those are times when we probably should have been in a mental hospital. I've also been down the suicide path... first at the age of nine. Like I said, I am treatment resistant and have been on EVERY antidepressant; none of them work. Like I said, I've been with this my entire life and I've learned to function the best I can in this society. Sure, when something new comes out, I'll be first in line to try it and let everyone know how it goes. Until then, I'll just keep right on chugging the best I can. I am very happy they have worked for you! I am always happy when they work for people.

It is humourised by the media alot which i think is unfair. Tourettes is also humourised too much. Just wondering ahve you always had it or did you slowly see it get worse?

So these OCD thoughts you cannot control? That's crazy. Thoughts going through your head over which you cannot do anything?

Is there any sort of control with OCD? Like simple willpower? I'm just curious/awed/that's terrible.

The point I'm trying to get across is I have no problems with it (except that tic.) I have the preoccupation with rules, schedules, lists, perfectionism, excessive devotion to work, rigidity and inflexibility that is more or less the definition of OCPD and yet I know I have OCD, is it possible I have both, or another part of my personality is just like that coincidentally. It makes me wish I was older at diagnosis. I might as well also mention that I was told that I have about 3 or 4 of the criteria to be deemed autistic (which isn't quite enough.)

Is it possible that could just be perfectionism? I used to be a perfectionist. Thankfully, the antidepressants cured that along with the Anxiety Disorder. Anther helpful thing, if you have Anxiety Disorder, is to meditate. I know it sounds kind of rediculous, but it's really jsut a deep-breathing thing, and it's very good for you (makes you feel good too).

By the way, Anxiety Disorder doesn't have to be paranoya (I spelled that wrongly, didn't I?), but is generally just a constant feeling (or even just a frequent feeling) that something is wrong.


Is anyone still reading this forum?

Yeah, I'm still reading and I'll be around about another ten minutes.

Like I said, I am treatment resistant and have been on EVERY antidepressant; none of them work. Like I said, I've been with this my entire life and I've learned to function the best I can in this society. Sure, when something new comes out, I'll be first in line to try it and let everyone know how it goes. Until then, I'll just keep right on chugging the best I can.

Yeah, I'm the same way with ADD. None of the medicines have worked for me. It doesn't stop me from functioning (I don't have any of the behavioral types of it.), but it does mean that I function very innefficiantly. It takes me forever to do anything. I've never really understood why, but I've come to assume it has to do with this. I just keep thinking of other things. I don't really know how to control it. In fact, I don't even realise when I'm doing it until after I've taken a really long time at anything.

It's gotten me into quite a lot of trouble. For example, there was one time, in the sixth grade (I think.) in which I had, for some reason, shown up early to P.E. I started zoning out and was apparently staring off into nowhere when someone walked into the path of my vision and started undressing. I didn't notice, but I was rudely brought back by sudden shouting at me for being a "gay pervert" who was supposedly watching him undress. I had a very rough time at middle school. I've forgotten where I was going with this (one of the effects of ADD is a memory about as functional as a gnome for a lawnmower. Sorry for boring you, I was going to say something important. I think...

I'm terribly sorry; it took me more than ten minutes to write that (again the ADD). Are you still there?

You didn't bore me. I don't understand ADD, but I understand what it's like when nothing works for you. I hope, one day, they can find something to help you.

Thanks. On the bright side, I've heard that ADD actually makes you more creative than most people. I'm guessing this is true, becuase most of my ideas come in when I'm zoning out. And then, of course, there's the wierd daydreaming that has led me to (since I'm very much into architecture) design a school, a castle, an office building, and innumerable mansions (most of which are beax-arts, my favorite genre). I'm again losing track of the topic, but I do have a question: (hold on a sec)

I have sort of developed a kind of inexplicable thing in which various aspects of my personality sort of converse (in my own voice). Essentially, I think aloud, only, inside my own head. For example, if I'm about to do something that is probobly not the right thing to do, I'll think something along the lines of , "No, that's probobly not a very good idea. You could get yourself into trouble. Come on." and leave the room. Do you know what I'm talking about. Do you do that too?

Apparently, that several-sentence paragraph took six minutes. See my point (about aking forever)?

Ah, apparently, you're not there. Never mind...

Try walking to music of varying meters. Start with seven (-four or -eight), then five, then six, then three, and finally four and two. Perhaps your compuslive subconscious needs to be occupied with something like that in order to give your conscious mind a break.
Like taking up music - as in, getting in stuck in your head. After reading this thread title I have the chorus for The Cranberries' "Zombie" stuck in my head -_-.

Try a switch to composing haikus.

On my "stranger" days my thoughts become so obscurely insane that I have to wonder how sane I am at times. Most days I'm fine though, went through a small stint of clinical depression not to long ago and now it's off and on.

Asking yourself if you're insane is the quickest way of getting there.

I have sort of developed a kind of inexplicable thing in which various aspects of my personality sort of converse (in my own voice). Essentially, I think aloud, only, inside my own head. For example, if I'm about to do something that is probobly not the right thing to do, I'll think something along the lines of , "No, that's probobly not a very good idea. You could get yourself into trouble. Come on." and leave the room. Do you know what I'm talking about. Do you do that too?

At least you keep it in your head. I debate things amongst myself, with sometimes up to 3 "others".

At least you keep it in your head. I debate things amongst myself, with sometimes up to 3 "others".
I used to argue with myself a lot. I don't really anymore though.

Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me in my head, but I dunno if I really do have some sort of disorder, or if its just teenage angst and self esteem issues that everyone goes through. I think it probable is just normal teenager mood swings and that I'm just looking for an excuse. But sometimes my thoughts terrify me. Well, that was vague.

I've been close when it comes to behavior patterns, but not that type of thoughts (although I'll have nonsense thoughts stick sometimes). And for me it's 5s.

Lights are turned on and off repeatedly. In 5s. 5 sets of 5.
Teeth are brushed in 5s.
I count to 5 when doing things like chewing, but have learned to not pay too much attention to it. But it's like a "background noise" going on.
If I do something like make a cake, I stir the batter in patterns of 5 (I always stir it by hand, mixers are too much of a pain to clean. Not because of the 5s, it's just too hard to get the junk out of them!)
Hair combing, 3 sets of 5 for each side of the head.

There may be a hidden genetic component, too. I was sharpening some knives with an old-fashioned sharpening stone a few years ago (1-2-3-4-5! 1-2-3-4-5! 1-2-3-4-5! Etc) and my mother said "That's the exact pattern your grandfather used when he sharpened his razor!! And knives, too!" HMMMM...

As for thoughts, nothing with the 5s, but sometimes I'll have a random nonsense thought run through my head for ages. If I realize it's happening in time, I can jam the loop by reading some hard-to-understand thing. It doesn't really matter if I ever *do* understand it, just as long as it's difficult enough to force me to concentrate it can work.

In high school, I had a nonsense thought that played itself constantly and didn't go away for almost a year. It was like having that site with the neverending popups playing in my head! But finally it relented. It could be that some chemical imbalance managed to rectify itself enough to throw out the garbage phrase...

Is there any sort of control with OCD? Like simple willpower? With me, I can do it for some things. Like if someone is watching I can almost always just turn off the light 1 time (although if I'm not thinking about it, it just runs). With things that aren't obviously wierd, like the stirring and sharpening, it's just not worth the effort!

As for the thoughts, if the cycle isn't broken in time, it's just tough. I think thoughts have less "checkpoints" than behavior--once you realize you're thinking of one again, you've already thought it. And trying to not think a particular thought often makes it worse, because you are then, by definition, thinking of it!

Try meditation. It really can help.

i dont beleive in this hocus pocus mumbo jumbo

its all in your head;)

I don't know if many of you suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but it tends to one of the more humourised disorders shown in the media, and I'd like to take this moment to explain the near-breakdown inducing trauma of living inside my head, by showing you what I think, twenty-four hours and day, seven days a week:

"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, THREE-FOUR is seven FOUR-THREE is seven TWO-THREE-TWO is seven ONE-SIX-ONE is seven 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, Lord God please forgive for I have sinned. SIX! Undo six, seven seven seven seven1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, die like Jew, Lord God for I have sinned1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, there's a six, UNDO SIX!"

That's on a good day. Not only that, I MUST walk in perfect sevens, organised as three steps, four steps, four step, three steps, two steps, three steps, two steps, one step, six steps, one step. If I even burn my hand, I have to burn it four more times in a set pattern. I have to eat in the above order and chew around my mouth using the same order. I grind my teeth using this system, tap, drink and even turn on the television.

Not only that, but I have an IQ of 175, but can't focus because most of my mental focus is spent on controlling obsessive behaviour, with compulsive activities, in addition to responding to waves of uncontrollable thoughts.

If there is anyone out there who thinks they are suffering from OCD, have a mental health professional check it out, because before I knew about it, it ruined dozens of important relationships and my life and has caused a host of other medical and psychological problems.

At the risk of being flippant... shouldn't that be ONE-FIVE-ONE is seven, UNDO six?

I'm in my thirties now. When I was a young'un... I was clinical level OCD. Although, for me it was fours, and multiples OF four... obviously, 16 is an especially significant number.

In my head... your own connection to seven makes no sense, and neither does the other poster's connection to five - because both are odd numbers, and thus, asymettrical.

At my worst, I would have to leave a building by EXACTLY the same route I entered. I would become almost crazed if someone had, for example, moved a chair from one side of a corridor to the other, so that I was forced to go passed it on the 'wrong side'. The same if I came up in one elevator, and had to leave through a different one.

The same thing applied, to a lesser extent, with the whole world... if I walked along one road to get to school, I had to walk back on that same road... even if it took much longer than, for example, getting a lift home. My mentality was a little more forgiving in the outside world (I could accept that the car I waked passed this morning wouldn't be there this afternoon)... because a building is a 'structure'... an attempt to impose 'order'... whereas the world is chaos.

To anyone who has NOT experienced OCD, there is no way to understand waking up at three in the morning, because you have realised you can control when you breathe - and now it has become a voluntary action, and you can't breathe UNLESS you think about it.

At age twelve, I considered suicide.

I never received medication, or psychological 'help'... although that MIGHT have made it easier. Instead, I spent years breaking my own habits... which is SO hard.

I still find myself doing things in fours, and multiples of... but not 'religiously'. I have learned to switch my brain away from certain destructive behaviours, and focus on something useful.

Part of my 'cure', has been similar to something you said... like 'aversion' therapy... I have ONE tattoo, deliberately, on ONE shoulder. It is there, all the time, being asymmetrical. When I wear bracelets, rings, etc... I always wear them on my left-hand (I always favoured the right), for the asymmetry.

My whole world is symbolic - a testament to a fight I'm winning. Or - at least - not losing, anymore.

Is it perfect? No - my daughter occassionally notices mannerisms I have that I don't even notice, and she asks what they 'mean'... and I tell her they don't 'mean' anything, but explain why they exist - then I work on 'removing' them.

The thing is - no matter HOW bad it gets, it CAN be fixed, if you can hold on.

They're also both prime numbers. Whereas four is not in any way special. Don't look for logic in OCD behaviors, that's the thing, they're not particularly logical.

Glad I don't have any such problems. I was just regular run of the mill suicidally depressed for about 20 years (which seeing as I'm 25 is somewhat scary).

I might be OCD. Other people say I am. However, I refuse to see any psychiatrists because they creep me out. So, I don't know.

-snip-

hmmm after reading your post, i am now thinking that perhaps i am (or was) borderline OCD.

i have done that whole breathing thing you are talking about numerous times and then you feel that you have to actually put effort into breathing rather just letting yourself breathe

i have had times when i would urge to leave a place or area the same way i came in, even if there were numerous exits leading to the same place

i went through a phase where what ever i did with one hand i tried to do it with the other hand to even things out

some other things to

i dont think i do these things so much anymore but when i was younger. i may not of had OCD but just been weird. i dont know.

but if i did have OCD, my life changed so much every couple of years that i probably was forced to break my habits.

I have been diagnosed with OCD, and depression and bipolar and ADD/ADHD, and panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress syndrome

all by different doctors, I go to one and they "figure out" what's wrong with me and medicate me and then I am fine* for a few years and then I get sick again, and I have different ins. or something and go to a different doctor who looks at my medical record and decides that's not what's wrong with me and tries something else, and it works for a while then I get sick again......and so on.

I have decided that either I am so screwed up that all of this is wrong with me, or I am not screwed up at all and just have another disorder that nobody can figure out because I am the only one with it. :(

My current doctor says all can be explained by a combo of OCD and my celiac disease. So I am going with that.



*when I say fine what I mean is I am able to function at a level that I don't need to be hospitalized.

I have been diagnosed with OCD, and depression and bipolar and ADD/ADHD, and panic disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress syndrome

all by different doctors, I go to one and they "figure out" what's wrong with me and medicate me and then I am fine* for a few years and then I get sick again, and I have different ins. or something and go to a different doctor who looks at my medical record and decides that's not what's wrong with me and tries something else, and it works for a while then I get sick again......and so on.

I have decided that either I am so screwed up that all of this is wrong with me, or I am not screwed up at all and just have another disorder that nobody can figure out because I am the only one with it. :(

My current doctor says all can be explained by a combo of OCD and my celiac disease. So I am going with that.



*when I say fine what I mean is I am able to function at a level that I don't need to be hospitalized.

That's what it's all about... getting by. :)

That's what it's all about... getting by. :)
I am not as weird as I used to be, my husband has helped me curb some of my more bizarre routines, but there are some that hang on, and he says that's okay, we can't all be perfect. :p

hmmm after reading your post, i am now thinking that perhaps i am (or was) borderline OCD.

i have done that whole breathing thing you are talking about numerous times and then you feel that you have to actually put effort into breathing rather just letting yourself breathe

i have had times when i would urge to leave a place or area the same way i came in, even if there were numerous exits leading to the same place

i went through a phase where what ever i did with one hand i tried to do it with the other hand to even things out

some other things to

i dont think i do these things so much anymore but when i was younger. i may not of had OCD but just been weird. i dont know.

but if i did have OCD, my life changed so much every couple of years that i probably was forced to break my habits.

It certainly sounds like OCD... and you seem to have been dropped into the 'cure' that I had to find... 'breaking' the habits, no matter how wrong, uncomfortable, or just bloody hard it seems.

I am not as weird as I used to be, my husband has helped me curb some of my more bizarre routines, but there are some that hang on, and he says that's okay, we can't all be perfect. :p

Nearly perfect will have to do, huh?

If you have ever been Obsessive-Compulsive, I'm inclined to believe you always will be. We just learn to curb the worst excesses... and 'use' parts of it for other purposes. (It used to frustrate school-mates, that my hand-written homework didn't have grammar or spelling errors, even without 'drafting' first...)

Nearly perfect will have to do, huh?

If you have ever been Obsessive-Compulsive, I'm inclined to believe you always will be. We just learn to curb the worst excesses... and 'use' parts of it for other purposes. (It used to frustrate school-mates, that my hand-written homework didn't have grammar or spelling errors, even without 'drafting' first...)
at least the ones I am stuck with are easy to hide (since they deal with the home) and the ones I got rid of were the ones that pretty much made "functioning in the world" nearly impossible.

I still can't drive on the highway, or go up stairs in public, well, I could but I would be unsafe....

I'm not OCD, I just have prolonged periods of clinical depression (another hard one to fight - I force myself to action - getting up, showering, getting dressed, going to work - simple actions for most, major events for the clinically depressed). I have OCD friends and, I suspect, my daughter is mildly OCD (just from her behavior - she pays the most fanatic attention to the most minor details and reworks them incessantly, good in her field, which is epidemiology, but bewildering and irritating to the people around her).

What I have noticed is this, in my circle of friends and family, we have a profound range of disorders. My son - dislexia/disgraphia. My daughter - ADD and, possibly OCD. Me - clinical depression. My mother - bipolar. Various friends, OCD, ADD, ADHD, autism (including one who is Aspergers) and many more. Is this because these disorders are becoming more common with the increased population and technology or is it because people with functioning problems tend to gravitate to each other?

They're also both prime numbers. Whereas four is not in any way special. Don't look for logic in OCD behaviors, that's the thing, they're not particularly logical.


On the contrary, OCD is absolutely logical... on some level. it just finds it's rationality in a different place.

Example: Why is four special?

1) it is even.

2) it is the first 'unit' that is formed by adding even numbers together.

3) it is the first unit formed by adding together the only even prime.

4) it is the first unit formed by multiplying even numbers together.

5) it is the first unit formed by multiplying together the only even prime.

6) it is 'square' (2x2)

7) it is the only example of a result that is both the sum AND the total of another number.

8) and, again: it is the only example of a result that is both the sum AND the total of the only even prime.

9) it is symettrical - because it is even.

10) it is symettrical in two axes - 2 by 2.

11) it is the first even number to truly behave as an even number. Two is special, for being prime, but that also makes it a 'flawed' even number.

12) it is one of the 'positions' of base 2...

13) it is the 'factor' by which hexadecimal differs from binary... each hex digit represents four binary digits.

14) it is the root of 16, which is the first (even) square of a square.

15) it is the root of 16, and base 16 is the base in which base 2 is related to the base by a 'factor' of 4.

16) it is the first number which is neither null, odd, nor prime.


I could probably continue... for example, we could head into the 'language' of the thing. In English, four unique - in having the same number of 'characters' in it's name, as the number of units it represents...

at least the ones I am stuck with are easy to hide (since they deal with the home) and the ones I got rid of were the ones that pretty much made "functioning in the world" nearly impossible.

I still can't drive on the highway, or go up stairs in public, well, I could but I would be unsafe....

This brings me to something... OCD sufferers become very good at hiding. We have to hide certain things... indeed, we are 'obsessive' about it. In some ways it helps a lot... it lets us function around other people... but in other ways it's less helpful... the bits that get hidden can even be hidden from ourselves.

What happens with stairs? I used to hate odd numbered stairs, or flights of stairs...

Is this because these disorders are becoming more common with the increased population and technology or is it because people with functioning problems tend to gravitate to each other?
Better diagnosis procedures, or presumedly better diagnosis procedures - doctors are more confidant, or rather more inclined, to diagnos one of the illnesses as such.

This brings me to something... OCD sufferers become very good at hiding. We have to hide certain things... indeed, we are 'obsessive' about it. In some ways it helps a lot... it lets us function around other people... but in other ways it's less helpful... the bits that get hidden can even be hidden from ourselves.

What happens with stairs? I used to hate odd numbered stairs, or flights of stairs...
I can't handle odd numbered stairs, so I have to walk up and back down (backwards of course) to make the pattern work into an even number, I tend to do very complex calculations trying to reduce it to a number I am more comfortable with (like 4 is very comforting but I didn't figure out why until your post ^)

I can't drive on the highway the merging and stuff really gets me, it doesn't fit into my "this is how things go" idea so I end up getting panicky (sp?) or worse trying to "fix the pattern" where if I don't hit anyone I am lucky but mostly I forget where I was going and miss my exit.

I can't handle odd numbered stairs, so I have to walk up and back down (backwards of course) to make the pattern work into an even number, I tend to do very complex calculations trying to reduce it to a number I am more comfortable with (like 4 is very comforting but I didn't figure out why until your post ^)

I can't drive on the highway the merging and stuff really gets me, it doesn't fit into my "this is how things go" idea so I end up getting panicky (sp?) or worse trying to "fix the pattern" where if I don't hit anyone I am lucky but mostly I forget where I was going and miss my exit.

Ah... the stair thing is familiar, then :)

Actually forcing yourself to do odd-numbered things, or to be asymmetrical, can help with that. :)

Four is VERY comfortable... mainly, I think, because ot two-dimensions of symmetry... balanced, two-ways.... and balanced TWO ways, is more symettrical than just 'balanced'...

The highway... well, necessity is the mother of invention. I just HAD to learn to drive (eventually... I was nearly 30), so I could get to work. I'd put it off until then.

From what I'm reading, I deduce that most of us, if not OCD, have some OCD tendencies. For instance. I'm always looking for ,and finding, patterns. I love threes and all numbers divisible by 3 (especially 9s). In traffic, I always see how many of a certain kind or color of car is in my area. I like to group and regroup things by different categories to see what kind of patterns emerge. I don't necessarily do these things consciously, they just happen.
This doesn't make me OCD, I think that OCD may be a natural and necessary human trait gone out of control

From what I'm reading, I deduce that most of us, if not OCD, have some OCD tendencies. For instance. I'm always looking for ,and finding, patterns. I love threes and all numbers divisible by 3 (especially 9s). In traffic, I always see how many of a certain kind or color of car is in my area. I like to group and regroup things by different categories to see what kind of patterns emerge. I don't necessarily do these things consciously, they just happen.
This doesn't make me OCD, I think that OCD may be a natural and necessary human trait gone out of control
I think my pattern recognition could be completely seperate from my OCD, I tend to do it and be able to turn it off and on, which I can NOT do with my OCD, it's something I am compelled to do, I can't NOT do it, I have to, and then I have to repeat it, it's nothing I can control, outside of years of painful and frustrating work to stop it.

edit 6,666 post weird....

When I was younger, I also had "problems" with some numbers - I liked ie. 2, 4, 5 and 7 but hated 3, and multiplicatives of 3, ie 9. I discovered a website which listed many hundreds of integers and what where special about them. Reading this, I somehow realized that the numbers I didn't like wasn't that bad. I would like to be able to link to the site, but i couldn't find it - however these two http://www.stetson.edu/~efriedma/numbers.html and http://www.archimedes-lab.org/numbers/Num1_69.html have the same idea, but arn't as complete. But I still favor some numbers over others... (Like "perfectly even" numbers as 2^n, n€Z)

I never thought that i had one of the disorders you mention, but some of the behavier you mention is familiar.

Have anybody had similar relationship with the way a knight moves (in chess) like the relationship with numbers?

I don't know if many of you suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but it tends to one of the more humourised disorders shown in the media, and I'd like to take this moment to explain the near-breakdown inducing trauma of living inside my head, by showing you what I think, twenty-four hours and day, seven days a week:

"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, THREE-FOUR is seven FOUR-THREE is seven TWO-THREE-TWO is seven ONE-SIX-ONE is seven 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, Lord God please forgive for I have sinned. SIX! Undo six, seven seven seven seven1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, die like Jew, Lord God for I have sinned1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,1,2,3,4,5,6,7, there's a six, UNDO SIX!"

That's on a good day. Not only that, I MUST walk in perfect sevens, organised as three steps, four steps, four step, three steps, two steps, three steps, two steps, one step, six steps, one step. If I even burn my hand, I have to burn it four more times in a set pattern. I have to eat in the above order and chew around my mouth using the same order. I grind my teeth using this system, tap, drink and even turn on the television.

Not only that, but I have an IQ of 175, but can't focus because most of my mental focus is spent on controlling obsessive behaviour, with compulsive activities, in addition to responding to waves of uncontrollable thoughts.

If there is anyone out there who thinks they are suffering from OCD, have a mental health professional check it out, because before I knew about it, it ruined dozens of important relationships and my life and has caused a host of other medical and psychological problems.
If only you solved crimes as well this would be a TV series about you.
http://www.usanetwork.com/series/monk/

about my pattern obsession and such, a friend of mine found this test, which basically has nothing to do with anything, except I scored very high on the SQ portion.

While I was taking it I kept thinking "who doesn't do this stuff?" then I realized probably a lot of people and that I am that weird.

oh, here (http://www.eqsq.com/eqsqtest.php) is the link.

my scores....

EQ= 13

SQ= 136

so, yeah, I am screwed up. :cool:

EQ of 23
SQ of 73

Apparently I'm fairly horrible at empathizing but fairly good at systemizing. Which I question, while I'm vaguely interested in technical details I don't have the attention span to care.

Your Empathizing Quotient (EQ): 33

Your Systemizing Quotient (SQ): 76

:D

EQ= 13

SQ= 136



Smunkee you are now my idol, or idyll, or a borg, or something.;) :D

Eq - 21
Sq - 83

In my head... your own connection to seven makes no sense, and neither does the other poster's connection to five - because both are odd numbers, and thus, asymettrical.

The oddness is one of the things I like about 5. I like odd numbers. They have possibilities.

As for why "5" in particular, 3 is too few, and 7 and up are so many that it's more of a pain to do things in those multiples. Not that all the 5-ery doesn't annoy me, but at least it doesn't take forrevverr to do something 5 times.

Symmetry-wise, I have a thing for visual symmetry too, and 5 (and other odds) can be made visually symmetrical: 2 things on each side of center, and 1 right in the center. Or 5 coins: One for each edge...and one in the middle. Evens leave the center blank, which bugs me.

As for the mathematics, I'm not into math, so I wouldn't know what's mathematically special about 5. Never gave it any mathematical consideration beyond the 1st-grade-level obvious (it's easy for me to count by 5s).

Fergi America']The oddness is one of the things I like about 5. I like odd numbers. They have possibilities.

As for why "5" in particular, 3 is too few, and 7 and up are so many that it's more of a pain to do things in those multiples. Not that all the 5-ery doesn't annoy me, but at least it doesn't take forrevverr to do something 5 times.

Symmetry-wise, I have a thing for visual symmetry too, and 5 (and other odds) can be made visually symmetrical: 2 things on each side of center, and 1 right in the center. Or 5 coins: One for each edge...and one in the middle. Evens leave the center blank, which bugs me.

As for the mathematics, I'm not into math, so I wouldn't know what's mathematically special about 5. Never gave it any mathematical consideration beyond the 1st-grade-level obvious (it's easy for me to count by 5s).

It's a matter of perception. I can understand that the five dots on a domino are symmetrical, but it doesn't feel symmetrical to me because it is 'odd'... which means you can only divide it along an axis of symmetry by dissecting one of the elements. It can't remain symmetrical and 'whole'.

It looks like maybe symmetry is important... there are just different perspectives on what 'makes' symmetry.

The point I'm trying to get across is I have no problems with it (except that tic.) I have the preoccupation with rules, schedules, lists, perfectionism, excessive devotion to work, rigidity and inflexibility that is more or less the definition of OCPD and yet I know I have OCD, is it possible I have both, or another part of my personality is just like that coincidentally. It makes me wish I was older at diagnosis. I might as well also mention that I was told that I have about 3 or 4 of the criteria to be deemed autistic (which isn't quite enough.)
You cannot have both, they are virtually the same disorder, just that you are aware of OCD, and not of OCPD

You cannot have both, they are virtually the same disorder, just that you are aware of OCD, and not of OCPD

Please forgive my ignorance, but what's the difference?

At the risk of being flippant... shouldn't that be ONE-FIVE-ONE is seven, UNDO six?

If I skip the 6, it's not 7. It's less hastle to let it go until it builds up and beign undoing the 6s then

Please forgive my ignorance, but what's the difference?
Simply if you know about it. If you are aware of the behaviours and that they are illogical, you have OCD, if oyu aren't, you have OCPD.

And to think, Rotovia, 7 is a lucky number for me...

Your SQ Score: 60
Your EQ Score: 68

I have sort of developed a kind of inexplicable thing in which various aspects of my personality sort of converse (in my own voice). Essentially, I think aloud, only, inside my own head. For example, if I'm about to do something that is probobly not the right thing to do, I'll think something along the lines of , "No, that's probobly not a very good idea. You could get yourself into trouble. Come on." and leave the room. Do you know what I'm talking about. Do you do that too?
I do that to. Like all your thoughts are being spoken to you. I also get the zoning out and the random drifting thoughts. Though, probably not as badly as you. I have zoned out during tests, luckily I am a quick test-wrtiter and was able to make up for losttime. On the topic of tests, is anyone else here the type of person that if they do not know the answer(in the case of math problem, how to arrive at the answer) immediately after figuring out what the question is asking, you will never figure it out. I am like this (it probably contributes to my overall speed). If the answer/process isn't immediatly thought of, I will never have an answer I have confidence in, and often fair no better than taking a guess.

PS
EQ-29
SQ-63

Eq=46
Sq=53

Eq= 8
Sq= 60