NationStates Jolt Archive

Cripes, my crazy biological father just now emailed me wishing me a happy birthday, now that it is the month after my birthday. This guy showed close to zero interest in me until my 18th birthday, when the ban on talking to me about religion was lifted because I was no longer a minor. Then he started in on the "by the way, abortion is wrong" and "your mother is probably going to hell." Thanks, pop.

I was just wondering if anybody else has estranged parents, or, you know, good ones.

I have never met my biological father. I hear things about him from time to time, but I can't figure out what's true and what's not.

The rest of my family is pretty bad though, I don't talk to them anymore (as of like 2 months ago)

Cripes, my crazy biological father just now emailed me wishing me a happy birthday, now that it is the month after my birthday. This guy showed close to zero interest in me until my 18th birthday, when the ban on talking to me about religion was lifted because I was no longer a minor. Then he started in on the "by the way, abortion is wrong" and "your mother is probably going to hell." Thanks, pop.

I was just wondering if anybody else has estranged parents, or, you know, good ones.
Is this a court impossed ban on religion?o-O

My father didn't speak to me after the birth of my daughter because I, as he said, didn't send him a birth announcement. My only contact with him since then was to attend his funeral.

My ex-husband refuses contact with our daughter because ... I don't know why. He does, however, maintain contact with our son.

Eh, my dad's not much better... in fact I'd gather to say he's much worse. He embezzled $16,000 from my bank account while I was overseas, stole about $20,000 from one of his brothers, and stole about $100,000 from the place that he worked. He was arrested and placed on house arrest pending trial and supposedly after a couple of months he shed the monitoring bracelet and left a note that he was going to kill himself, but I don't buy it b/c I think he was too much of a coward. That was almost 10 years ago and I hope never to hear from him again. He's done far worse things too but I can't mention them b/c one of the affected people is also a NSer and I respect their right to privacy.

Is this a court impossed ban on religion?o-O

Actually, yes...after my dad remarried he became a born-again Christian and started telling me a lot of scary shit, also he took me out of state for a few days against visitation rules and scared the crap out of my mom. So, her wonderful lawyer tightened the reins. (Now, I'm not saying all Christians or born-agains are bad...just, it maybe wasn't so great in this case.)

Is this a court impossed ban on religion?o-O

I know, i think this suits it more:

o_O

Why is there no, I have two parents and they are great option?

My father didn't speak to me after the birth of my daughter because I, as he said, didn't send him a birth announcement. My only contact with him since then was to attend his funeral.

My ex-husband refuses contact with our daughter because ... I don't know why. He does, however, maintain contact with our son.

That's fucking stupid. You should have contact with him at HIS funeral...by dancing on his coffin.

Why is there no, I have two parents and they are great option?

There's a lot of options I left out. I suppose you could go with "my parents are still together and they're alright" or "I have an extra parent and they're alright." Or you could get upset?

I have never met my biological father. I hear things about him from time to time, but I can't figure out what's true and what's not.

The rest of my family is pretty bad though, I don't talk to them anymore (as of like 2 months ago)

Crap, I knew I wanted to address that choice. "I've only ever had one parent." I'm sorry you have a shitty family. You could do what my cousin did and move to Amsterdam and get married and not invite anybody.

Eh, my dad's not much better... in fact I'd gather to say he's much worse. He embezzled $16,000 from my bank account while I was overseas, stole about $20,000 from one of his brothers, and stole about $100,000 from the place that he worked. He was arrested and placed on house arrest pending trial and supposedly after a couple of months he shed the monitoring bracelet and left a note that he was going to kill himself, but I don't buy it b/c I think he was too much of a coward. That was almost 10 years ago and I hope never to hear from him again. He's done far worse things too but I can't mention them b/c one of the affected people is also a NSer and I respect their right to privacy.

Damn, I'm glad mine is at least harmless. Sorry dude. We'll be your family.

I have a parent who sucks.

My sister has gone further and disowned her.

I know, i think this suits it more:

o_O
Yeah but o-O looked more retarded IMO.
Actually, yes...after my dad remarried he became a born-again Christian and started telling me a lot of scary shit, also he took me out of state for a few days against visitation rules and scared the crap out of my mom. So, her wonderful lawyer tightened the reins. (Now, I'm not saying all Christians or born-agains are bad...just, it maybe wasn't so great in this case.)
Crazy Christians.

Damn, I'm glad mine is at least harmless. Sorry dude. We'll be your family.

Awww thanks! I often throw about the idea of writing all the things that are f'ed up about my family, but I often think that it would never sell because nobody would believe that so much crap could happen to one person. :) Well, that and it really is just very depressing and nobody likes a depressing story. I've often said that I should be a prefect example of how neither nurture nor nature determine how a person grows up.

I have a parent who sucks.

My sister has gone further and disowned her.

Nice. I guess I disowned mine when I was 14 by asking my stepdad to adopt me. (How else do you disown a parent?)

Awww thanks! I often throw about the idea of writing all the things that are f'ed up about my family, but I often think that it would never sell because nobody would believe that so much crap could happen to one person. :) Well, that and it really is just very depressing and nobody likes a depressing story. I've often said that I should be a prefect example of how neither nurture nor nature determine how a person grows up.

Actually, Augusten Burroughs did just that, and his books have become bestsellers. Check out "Running with Scissors." All true, funny, and ultimately depressing. Pair it with a fun cover, and you'll be rolling in dough. (Keep it away from your dad, though.)

Actually, Augusten Burroughs did just that, and his books have become bestsellers. Check out "Running with Scissors." All true, funny, and ultimately depressing. Pair it with a fun cover, and you'll be rolling in dough. (Keep it away from your dad, though.)

Well due to the other things he did he'd be best to keep away from me. I'll definitely check out the book, I do work at a library after all. I just figure that I must have been one hell of a rotten bastard in a previous life to get all the bad karma in this one. ;)

Well due to the other things he did he'd be best to keep away from me. I'll definitely check out the book, I do work at a library after all. I just figure that I must have been one hell of a rotten bastard in a previous life to get all the bad karma in this one. ;)

I understand. Yeah, I think you'll love the book.

Or just change the names and publish it under a pseudonym. He'll never know. Besides, people still read Kafka, listen to Brahms (I'll never figure out why), and look at Van Gogh. Depressing can be considered a plus if you do it well.

My parents live together and are slightly insane but otherwise ok.

My father didn't speak to me after the birth of my daughter because I, as he said, didn't send him a birth announcement. My only contact with him since then was to attend his funeral.

My ex-husband refuses contact with our daughter because ... I don't know why. He does, however, maintain contact with our son.
wow, your ex is a world class asshole. are your kids minors? how do you help your daughter deal with being dissed like that?

Mines in jail. Selling drugs and selling tylenol AS drugs is apparently frowned upon. ;)

You missed a poll option. 'I have a parent or two who died, and good riddance to bad rubbish!'

My importantly...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Cripes, my crazy biological father just now emailed me wishing me a happy birthday, now that it is the month after my birthday. This guy showed close to zero interest in me until my 18th birthday, when the ban on talking to me about religion was lifted because I was no longer a minor. Then he started in on the "by the way, abortion is wrong" and "your mother is probably going to hell." Thanks, pop.

I was just wondering if anybody else has estranged parents, or, you know, good ones.
Lol. I like your Dad, he's funny!:p

wow, your ex is a world class asshole. are your kids minors? how do you help your daughter deal with being dissed like that?


My daughter is now 35, my son is 34. This has been going on since my daughter was 12. He has plenty of reason to be proud of both of them. Both are Navy veterans. My daughter is getting her Master's in Epidemiology, my son is an ex-cop, who is now an electronics technician working in aero-space. Neither of them has much respect for their father, but they've coped. They're both strong people.

my parents were married one time, to each other and were, in comparison with the scary-bad parents on this thread, paragons of virtue.

in reality they had their good points and their bad points like any other people do.

My daughter is now 35, my son is 34. This has been going on since my daughter was 12. He has plenty of reason to be proud of both of them. Both are Navy veterans. My daughter is getting her Master's in Epidemiology, my son is an ex-cop, who is now an electronics technician working in aero-space. Neither of them has much respect for their father, but they've coped. They're both strong people.
they do sound like children to be proud of. congratulations on a good job well done.

My parents live together and are slightly insane but otherwise ok.

I think you have to be slightly insane to have children in the first place, so it's to be expected.

Mines in jail. Selling drugs and selling tylenol AS drugs is apparently frowned upon. ;)

Hahaha!

My importantly...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday Harlesburg! We're so proud of you!

My importantly...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!Whose? "My"? Did you just congratulate yourself? :confused:

We should have a "Which NSer has the most F'ed up family" contest!

My dad doesn't talk to me or call me. He gets very angry when I ask for money (he doesn't understand college/grad students sometimes need a hand). He's addicted to porn, objectifies women, and treats my mother like dirt. My mother isn't any better, though... I'm going to hell because I'm living with a guy out of wedlock. She also told me when I was 9 that my uncle was in hell because he was gay and had AIDS. They both treat each other like scum and don't even sleep in the same bed anymore.

However, my boyfriend's mother was a single parent and she's a sweetie. She raised three kids on a teacher's aide salary without any help from the father (all three kids have the same father). She's an ex-Catholic who is spiritual (still prays to the saints) and believes heavily in angels. However, she's been VERY accepting of the fact I'm Buddhist and has never pushed her beliefs on me. She also offers to send money when she doesn't have any.

I don't think it matters if a kid has one or both parents... I think it's the quality of the parenting that matters. This is why I'm all for gays having kids and adopting kids. ANYONE who can provide quality care for kids should have kids if they want kids. I was raised by two parents and I did not recieve quality care from either parent. My boyfriend was raised by only his mom and she gave him a ton of love and support; a very good quality of care. That's all that matters in my book.

Sorry to hear about your dad and... HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!

Where's the poll option for 'I have two parents and they kick ass completely'?

Maybe I'm just a total weirdo, but I couldn't be happier with my parents.

My sibs are another issue...

We should have a "Which NSer has the most F'ed up family" contest!

Well, if you include extended family this won't be much of a contest unless I excluded myself from the competition. ;)

Man, those are some really bad stories. o.O

My mom died when I was 3, my dad married again a year or so later: My new mom was divorced with a daughter, two years older than me.

My (step)sister's dad is a major asshole, the only contact he ever had with her was in court when he was defaulting on alimony payments again.

My dad is fine, but he was never home when we grew up because of his job and it's kind of hard to have a really close, emotional relationship to him because we're both not very touchy-feely kinds of people.

My (step)mom is nice enough (bah, I feel so bad when I talk about her like that...) but majorly, majorly screwed up. All kinds of psychological problems plus too much alcohol, which kind of made things hard growing up. She was always extremely moody and irrational, which meant that we quickly had to learn how to navigate potential "triggers" of moodswings and cater to her every whim.
Even when we just came home from school for lunch, we'd always have to think carefully before talking about something that happened in school because we first had to calibrate any potential reaction and association that could probably elicit in her.

In the last several years, she did some majorly fucked up shit and my parents (both around 60) separated about 2 years ago.

Gah. Sometimes I'm surprised my sister and I did turn out relatively sane.

Happy Birthday Harlesburg! We're so proud of you! Whose? "My"? Did you just congratulate yourself? :confused:
*Kills self*
I was watching the England vs Portugal replay and typed the wrong word.:p

I meant to say Happy belated Birthday...

Man, those are some really bad stories. o.O


I've not even begun to tell the really bad stories. I'm saving those for my future novel for which Ilie will receive an acknowledgement. I mean after all, if I told all the horrible stories in the forum there wouldn't be much point in reading the book now would there?? ;) Now if I can just figure out who's gonna play me in the movie.... hmmmm. :D

Cripes, my crazy biological father just now emailed me wishing me a happy birthday, now that it is the month after my birthday. This guy showed close to zero interest in me until my 18th birthday, when the ban on talking to me about religion was lifted because I was no longer a minor. Then he started in on the "by the way, abortion is wrong" and "your mother is probably going to hell." Thanks, pop.

I was just wondering if anybody else has estranged parents, or, you know, good ones.
My mother left my father and me right after I was born, so I've never really known her, and not even him very well. My father died back in 1976, and I have a clue where my mother is but no desire to see her.

So ... I became the best parent I could and tried to raise our five children right. I must have done something right because they are all now relatively successful people who are in the process of becoming good parents themselves.

My mother and father divorced, but not while I was young. I had left home at 17 and they divorced when I was 27.

I was first married at age 30, had one child, and divorced at 37. Married again, had another child, divorced again at 41.

I have both children. I've married again (to a woman who has a child). It works quite well actually. Then her sister became a heroin addict, and we inherited her two daughters, whom we treat as our own.

This doesn't count the battered women and their children who pass through our home as guests.

If people on NS saw the way we lived, we would probably be classified as socialists.

My parents, individually, are not half bad. Granted, my father has been using guilt as a weapon since I was young, even once taking an opportunity when I accidentally put a driving range golf ball in my golf bag to chide me for having "stolen" it. Err, last time I checked, there has to be some intent behind stealing. Also, my father usually wants to talk about only a few subjects with me - money being the preferred subject. I have had a dead-end, shitty job that pays poorly since I left college, and of course that's not good enough. It's always, "Go back to school," "Make a budget," "Your job is going to make your life miserable," etc. It's pretty much to the point where, no matter how deep a financial hole I am in, I won't ask to borrow money from my father.

Of course, incidentally, I got a new job, and everyone around me was happy for me, but my father was easily the least happy for me, choosing instead to discuss his own experiences that have nothing to do with my new job or anything and pretty much waste my time. That said, I could do far worse.

My parents got a divorce when I was four, and I spent pretty much my entire childhood as a pawn in my parents' war with each other. On one hand, both my parents loved me; on the other hand, they hated each other, and their hatred for each other often outweighed their love for me and my brother.

For many years, they were baffled as to why I refused to date. I didn't want to get suckered into a bad relationship. I was open about that, even telling my parents to count their blessings that this was the most unusual thing about me. I could have been addicted to crack and alcohol, after all, thanks to them, but I wasn't. So after a while, they shut their yaps about it, and I eventually met and fell in love with the woman I intend to marry in five months, so they can continue to shut their yaps.

I have both children. I've married again (to a woman who has a child). It works quite well actually. Then her sister became a heroin addict, and we inherited her two daughters, whom we treat as our own.

This doesn't count the battered women and their children who pass through our home as guests.

I think it's awesome for you to take in the people you have! :)

I think it's awesome for you to take in the people you have! :)

I think that if everyone did this, there would be a lot less demand for social services. I hardly believe that "the state" as a mindless entity can do better for people than the people of the community in most cases.

It really doesn't take any extra effort as far as I'm concerned, and I feel so much better doing something as opposed to writing a check to the government.

Right! It's in everyone's best interest to help out and play a part in the need for social services (if they can, I realize a lot of people cannot). The old saying, "it takes a community to raise a child" can work wonders if everyone chips in. Plus, if more people take an active stand against rape, abuse, child molesters (and the long list of horrible things that plauge our society) then I don't think it would be as common. Plus, it empowers everyone. It's really a win-win situation.

I could utterly pwn this thread and walk away with the "Which NSer has the most F'ed up family" award but Christ, I'd really rather not get into all that. Again. Too damn draining... :(

Crap, I knew I wanted to address that choice. "I've only ever had one parent." I'm sorry you have a shitty family. You could do what my cousin did and move to Amsterdam and get married and not invite anybody.
that's hilarious because I didn't invite anyone to my wedding past the normal amount of people that have to be there (minister, witnesses, video guy)

Fathers arent necessary. I never met or heard from my father. I've only seen him in a picture years ago. Its better to keep it that way I think.

that's hilarious because I didn't invite anyone to my wedding past the normal amount of people that have to be there (minister, witnesses, video guy)

Sha-weet! See, that's pretty much what I want to do.

Fathers arent necessary. I never met or heard from my father. I've only seen him in a picture years ago. Its better to keep it that way I think.

It's true, only one parent is necessary. Of course, the more GOOD parents you have, the better things are for you in terms of options and resources. But heck, if I had to choose between two shitty parents, one good and one crappy, or just one good, I'd choose the latter any day.

Yeh Happy Birthday there , for last month...If I was here and had I known I would have said it then....
anyway I'll do a quick celebration concert...
ta da....
cough clap clap
a thank you......
ruffles music..
right a birthday treat for Ilie...this afternoon I am going to play sum famous romanian music by Dinecu which today will be ( boom boom) Hora staccato on trumpet , trombone , kit percussion and bongos..I will attempt to juggle this with singing the new national anthem of penrhosgarnedd.

Drum roll...................thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
crash , plink , plonk...parp...boing crash etc ( you get the picture)
taaaaa daaaaaaaaaa
a thank you I am here all week

Yeh Happy Birthday there , for last month...If I was here and had I known I would have said it then....
anyway I'll do a quick celebration concert...
ta da....
cough clap clap
a thank you......
ruffles music..
right a birthday treat for Ilie...this afternoon I am going to play sum famous romanian music by Dinecu which today will be ( boom boom) Hora staccato on trumpet , trombone , kit percussion and bongos..I will attempt to juggle this with singing the new national anthem of penrhosgarnedd.

Drum roll...................thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
crash , plink , plonk...parp...boing crash etc ( you get the picture)
taaaaa daaaaaaaaaa
a thank you I am here all week


How sweet! Thank you! Romanian music, even. <3

mehh

My dad used to eat oinons and cigarettes in the Soviet army(not becuase they had a shortage of food ether).........could be a cannibal(probably not though, I dont believe him :p )

Hes alright though.