NationStates Jolt Archive

Imagine you were asked to change one thing about your country,what would it be. Serious and Stupid suggestions welcome.

PS feel free to rip eachothers idea's apart through logic.

Imagine you were asked to change one thing about your country,what would it be. Serious and Stupid suggestions welcome.

PS feel free to rip eachothers idea's apart through logic.

I would disestablish the Church of England.

I'd change the national anthem. To David Bowie's 'Heroes'.

Abolish the monarchy through a series of lethal It's a knock-out' scenarios.

Abolish the monarchy through a series of lethal It's a knock-out' scenarios.

Won't one of them be left?

Won't one of them be left?

Yes. They'll be the 'lonely monarch' and won't be allowed to breed. That way, we please both the Republicans and Monarchists. For twenty years, or something.

I don't know. I haven't thought this one through.

Everything.

The history.

Imagine you were asked to change one thing about your country,what would it be. Serious and Stupid suggestions welcome.

PS feel free to rip eachothers idea's apart through logic.

I would become your King.

abolish monarchy, sieze lands and wealth of aristocracy (including royals, lords, etc, whatever), sell off much of the royal families' art collection (many billion quids worth iirc), and put the land and money collected to use for the people, primarily investing in the education system in terms of long-term capital investment and increasing the salaries of teachers to incentivise more and better talent to enter the profession.

wow that was one long sentence


and if i got a second wish i'd like to see margaret thatcher's head on a spike at the tower of london;)

I would become your King.
You only have two problems:
1. The republican movement is gathering strength in this country, so you won't last long.
2. You're not British, so you can't contribute to this thread. ;)

I like that one about dismantling the aristcoracy

I'd relocate Britain to some where with a warmer climate thats further away from France and Europe.

I would disestablish the Church of England.

:p

I would ban all other religions.

*thinks*

er... nope... just move all others to the Isle of Wight.

I'd legalise eating Swans.

I'd hand over Northern Ireland to the south and evacuate all Unionists who are not willing to "comply". Then I'd blow up Stormont (or at least the people in it :P).

Create a politician who actually has a spine.

Mind, I like the idea of moving away from europe, specifically France :p

I'd change the national anthem. To David Bowie's 'Heroes'.


And you, you can be mean
And I, I'll drink all the time

...

Though nothing will keep us together..

You believe that's suitable?

I'd make "Teardrops" by Massive Attack the national anthem. Because it's really nice, and would calm people down before the footie or whatever, instead of the crap national anthem which is rather to nationalistic for my taste.

Oh, and I'd make the width of the English channel zero.

You only have two problems:
1. The republican movement is gathering strength in this country, so you won't last long.
2. You're not British, so you can't contribute to this thread. ;)

You've had German kings before.

You've had German kings before.

And Dutch.
And Welsh.
And Scotch.
And French.

But you are... not one of those?

Oh, and I'd make the width of the English channel zero.
That's more than one wish, foo'!

And Dutch.
And Welsh.
And Scotch.
And French.

But you are... not one of those?

Why not an American King? Think of what it would do for the republican movement...

Why not an American King? Think of what it would do for the republican movement...


I'll nominate you ( gladly ) for the American King of America.
Duke of Hyannisport.
Count of Kennebunkport.
Defender of the Faith.
Protector of the Poor.

*bows reverently*

To be honeset, i would rather we keep the monarchy, it gives the country character. And it only costs us 50p a year per person.

Why abolish something that brings so much money from tourism anyway?

That's more than one wish, foo'!

May I suggest you and I team up, with steam shovels or summat?

And Dutch.
And Welsh.
And Scotch.
And French.


Who was the Welsh monarch?

May I suggest you and I team up, with steam shovels or summat?
If that means that we get 2 wishes, that'd be spiffing, otherwise, I'm afraid not. Having Massive Attack's "Teardrops" as our national anthem is too dear to me, although I'd be willing to make a compromise and have Portishead's "Only You", or indeed "Cowboys".

Who was the Welsh monarch?

Bluff King Hall!
( the Tudors in general...)

Who was the Welsh monarch?
Steven?

If that means that we get 2 wishes, that'd be spiffing, otherwise, I'm afraid not. Having Massive Attack's "Teardrops" as our national anthem is too dear to me, although I'd be willing to make a compromise and have Portishead's "Only You", or indeed "Cowboys".


I'll give up my Uber-established Church of England in exchange for the retention of the English Channel.

*nominates The Glorious Year or the Dad's Army Song for national anthem*

Bluff King Hall!
( the Tudors in general...)

Ah, yes.

I agree with Hydesland. It also provides some harmless fun whenever one of them makes a slip up. Also, what will the republicans do once they're gone?

I agree with Hydesland. It also provides some harmless fun whenever one of them makes a slip up. Also, what will the republicans do once they're gone?


Turn England into Super Gitmo or something similarly unpleasant.

I'd relocate Britain to some where with a warmer climate thats further away from France and Europe.

i'd do something like this:

http://www.hlj.me.uk/ns/britain%20europe%20map%202.jpg


(yes, they're roads/bridges or tunnels)

i'd do something like this:

http://www.hlj.me.uk/ns/britain%20europe%20map%202.jpg


(yes, they're roads/bridges or tunnels)

Lol, now thats an imagination!

I agree with Hydesland. It also provides some harmless fun whenever one of them makes a slip up. Also, what will the republicans do once they're gone?
Ask to have some kind of benevolent dicatorship rather than a president and parliament, and then realising that this is very similar to a monarchy, and dying of irony.

move it to australia .. it'll fit in WA 3 times over in land mass you know...and think of the weather... bliss

I'll give up my Uber-established Church of England in exchange for the retention of the English Channel.

*nominates The Glorious Year or the Dad's Army Song for national anthem*
No super-established CoE, and we should retain control of the English Channel, but rename it to something more Europe-pleasing.

And I hold my ground on the music issue, although I'd accept something by Portishead rather than Massive Attack, what's important is that it's melodic, peaceful-ish, non-nationalist and not classical.

Ask to have some kind of benevolent dicatorship rather than a president and parliament, and then realising that this is very similar to a monarchy, and dying of irony.


Somewhere in the recent past, the shade of Lenin meets the shade of the Czar - in Hell, no less.

And the Czar says: well, you little upstart, what have you done to Holy Mother Russia? I'll bet you have given up half our fair Rodina.
Lenin: no worries, the Rodina is as sound as before.
Czar: and what about our Holy Orthodox Army?
Lenin: new name, Red Army, but just as large as before.
Czar: and the Vodka? Still 40% alcohol?
Lenin: Oh no! It is now 42%.
Czar: So you shot me, and my family, for a lousy 2%?

No super-established CoE, and we should retain control of the English Channel, but rename it to something more Europe-pleasing.

And I hold my ground on the music issue, although I'd accept something by Portishead rather than Massive Attack, what's important is that it's melodic, peaceful-ish, non-nationalist and not classical.

Sah, you're asking too much.

I don't believe I have ever heard music by either Portishead or Massive Attack, and I really see no reason to start doing so.

*nominates hymn of praise 445*

We should rebuild the British Empire by buying North America from the Americans in exchange for shiny beads. Or alternatively we could then sell that land back to the Native Americans in exchange for actual money and we'd become really rich. Also instead of the word British we should use the word Brythonic (which means of or relating to the ancient Britons)

Realistically though I think we should give the Church of England less power and influence (and return to hippy Celtic pagan religions, but that's for another day :) )

Sah, you're asking too much.

I don't believe I have ever heard music by either Portishead or Massive Attack, and I really see no reason to start doing so.
They're of the highest quality, you should pick up Portishead's self-titled album and Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" as soon as possible.

And no hymns for national anthems!

They're of the highest quality, you should pick up Portishead's self-titled album and Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" as soon as possible.

And no hymns for national anthems!


*pelts Yootopia with* land of hope and glory!

*pelts Yootopia with* land of hope and glory!
Onoz!

Portishead ftw! *flees*

Onoz!

Portishead ftw! *flees*


*yells* And if those Kings... of ancient times!

change te National Anthem to Farwell Adieu Spanish Ladies or bony bunch of roses http://www.mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=5955
and put the fleur de lys back in the coats of arms , reclaim gascony and Normandy

surely the new national anthem should be by Queen?

Bohemian Rhapsody? or should we just go with Bicycle Race? ;)

We are the Champions

Obviously

We are the Champions

Obviously
too nationalistic. i think I'm Going Slightly Mad would be best :P

or maybe Vultan's Theme from flash gordon :D

I'm with Billy Connelly on this one.

The Archers theme!

I'd ration alcohol. This is not going to be popular on these boards.

I'm with Billy Connelly on this one.

The Archers theme!

I'd ration alcohol. This is not going to be popular on these boards.


I'll report you to our local chavs... :p

Chavs? In North Riding? Damn. I will have to keep an eye out for tractors in case of a drive-by ;)

Barcodius.
Born: East Riding
Live: West Riding

abolish monarchy, sieze lands and wealth of aristocracy (including royals, lords, etc, whatever), sell off much of the royal families' art collection (many billion quids worth iirc), and put the land and money collected to use for the people, primarily investing in the education system in terms of long-term capital investment and increasing the salaries of teachers to incentivise more and better talent to enter the profession.

wow that was one long sentence


and if i got a second wish i'd like to see margaret thatcher's head on a spike at the tower of london;)
Ditto, also not just Thatcher, but all the old torys....and the BNp/National Front. And Abolish grammer schools.

New National Anthem-keep it as God Save the Queen, just cahnge who worte it. Johnny Rotten not some other cloke!

Chavs? In North Riding? Damn. I will have to keep an eye out for tractors in case of a drive-by ;)

Barcodius.
Born: East Riding
Live: West Riding

Yeah. They're SCARY!

BTW: d'you know how we say "I owe you a fiver" up here?

Yeah. They're SCARY!

BTW: d'you know how we say "I owe you a fiver" up here?

Another cake please, Betty. ?

Another cake please, Betty. ?
'I owe you a pound'

Attach outboard motors to Scotland, Ireland and other Islands and don't turn them off until we reach the equator. Chavs left on Canvey Island, and nuked.

Attach outboard motors to Scotland, Ireland and other Islands and don't turn them off until we reach the equator. Chavs left on Canvey Island, and nuked.

Seconded, it's chav kingdom this way and no-one would miss Canvey.... maybe we could scoop out Basildon and nuke 'em both?

I would change the lyrics of god save the queen to god save the people(from this annoying monarch)then promptly get rid of the monarchy.
then I would put more funding into mental health services.
ban football(even tho I used to play)
mandatory heavy metal concerts for school children.
Teach philosophy in high school.
Give every one a bannana as a reward for accepting my changes!(like they did in the good old days after the war)

everyone would recieve a jolly good spanking.

If a foreigner can be King, then I see no reason why I can't run for Prime Minister.

My platform is:

"Jam yesterday, and jam tomorrow, but never jam today"

and

"Every man his own football"

If a foreigner can be King, then I see no reason why I can't run for Prime Minister.

My platform is:

"Jam yesterday, and jam tomorrow, but never jam today"

and

"Every man his own football"

And every woman her own... rollerpin?

And every woman her own... rollerpin?

kitchen

I would change the lyrics of god save the queen to god save the people(from this annoying monarch)then promptly get rid of the monarchy.
then I would put more funding into mental health services.
ban football(even tho I used to play)
mandatory heavy metal concerts for school children.
Teach philosophy in high school.
Give every one a bannana as a reward for accepting my changes!(like they did in the good old days after the war)


Methinx - should have mandatory heavy metal for everyone!

Take all the chavs and stick them on an uninhabited island in the middle of the Atlantic, with no connection of any kind to the outside world. Monitor them with a geostationary satellite. Sell the TV rights, and meanwhile use it as a science experiment to watch a replay of primitive society. This has several good effects.

1. We get rid of the chavs. They either wipe themselves out (good), or they recreate civilisation (unlikely but good) at which point they will be allowed to return to Britain.

2. We get a shitload of cash from selling the TV rights. We can use it for education or the environment or the NHS or something.

3. Less taxes needed to pay the welfare cheques. Lower taxes, or the knowledge that our pounds are going towards something more useful than bling.

4. Less crime. Probably almost no violent crime. Much less theft and vandalism. Safer environment for all the people who deserve it.

5. Less reality TV. Apart from "Chav Island", of course.

6. Less shit music on the radio. More metal. An excuse for Radio One to be reformed, so we can render Chris Moyles down into pork crackling.

7. Other good stuff.

And every woman her own... rollerpin?
every woman her own Sybian

every woman her own Sybian

Ihatetoadmitignorance but... what are you on about?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sybian

Other Sybian sites would probably violate the TOS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sybian

Other Sybian sites would probably violate the TOS

*pretends not to see this*
seeyatomorrow, DK!

Imagine you were asked to change one thing about your country,what would it be. Serious and Stupid suggestions welcome.

.


What I'd wish to change is our namby pamby defence policy, instead of having 4 trident subs armed with 16 bombs, we buy/make about another 200 trident subs and armed them with the full 8 warheads per missile load,

Then when some nasty foreign terrorist attacks us we can say we can obliterate not only your entire family/clan but anyone else connected with them and everyone else within a 200 mile radius.

Or some uppity country like North Korea or Iran or Russia or the US gets on our wick we say... agree to be ruled by us or be blasted into tiny little bits.

El-Presidente Boris (currently somewhere secure in southern England.... until he escapes....:eek: )

Alternatively, the idea with moving all the chavs into mid-atlantic has some mileage:D

lay claim to the US again?

What is wrong with the national anthem.

What is wrong with the national anthem.
It mentions the monarch (which some traitors don't like) and (this bit I do have a problem with) it mentions "God"

And you, you can be mean
And I, I'll drink all the time

...

Though nothing will keep us together..

You believe that's suitable?
Sounds perfect...

'You, you can be mean' - with our society's problems, I'd say it was an accurate representation of it.

'I, I'll drink all the time' - do you need this one explained?

'Though nothing will keep us together' - the Welsh want out. The Scots want out. The Irish want out. Yorkshire and Cornwall have small independence movements.

It mentions the monarch (which some traitors don't like) and (this bit I do have a problem with) it mentions "God"

How depressing, that people want to remove a great song which has been remembered from generation to generation. Thats been used in some of the most important ocasions, just because it mentions the word "God" and "Queen" in it.

"Rule Britinia" encourages dominance of the British empire over other countries, but thats Ok apparently.

I'd legalise eating Swans.
Thats already legal in Hyde Park.

Can I have swan sent over plucked and roasted or do I have to go all the way to hyde park to eat it?

Can I have swan sent over plucked and roasted or do I have to go all the way to hyde park to eat it?
No, you have to eat London pigeon.

Barcodius.
Born: East Riding
Live: West Riding
Aust:
Born: Birmingham
Live: North Riding

We all know the Norths the best!

born: Watford
live: Southampton


yeah, i fit the pattern so well ;)

born: Watford
live: Southampton


yeah, i fit the pattern so well ;)
I feel sorry for you....

born: Watford
live: Southampton


yeah, i fit the pattern so well ;)
I feel sorry for you....

I feel sorry for you....
cos its not the north?



y'all speak funny up there ;)

cos its not the north?



y'all speak funny up there ;)
Aye, tis a ard life oop ere in de noowrth! But tis a greand life as well lad, aye there is nooo bettar place dan ooop noowth. Tis ye southern softies dat are de problemem, mon.

Actually, becuase It's sotherhampton-I don't mind north or south-Born in birminghamd, lived in nottingham, Yorkhire, jersey, Gurnsey and Lancaster.

1: Make the national anthem Jerusalem (Screw RUle Brittania).
or
2: Link up with other countries via bridges or tunnels.
or
3:Eliminate Crime.
or
4: Get our immigration officers WORKING!

1: Make the national anthem Jerusalem (Screw RUle Brittania).
or
2: Link up with other countries via bridges or tunnels.
or
3:Eliminate Crime.
or
4: Get our immigration officers WORKING!
1. Since when has 'Rule Brittainia' been the National Anthem?
2. Because that wouldn't cost an absolute fortune for very limited economic benefit. :rolleyes:
3. You mean crime is bad? Oh, now we know what we've been doing wrong all these years! When you put it like that, it's so simple to do.
4. These same immigration officers that are now coping with all your new bridges and tunnels?

What's with your name, btw? Did you sneeze on the keyboard?

Aye, tis a ard life oop ere in de noowrth! But tis a greand life as well lad, aye there is nooo bettar place dan ooop noowth. Tis ye southern softies dat are de problemem, mon.

Actually, becuase It's sotherhampton-I don't mind north or south-Born in birminghamd, lived in nottingham, Yorkhire, jersey, Gurnsey and Lancaster.
lol, you kinda went all jamaican (mon) at the end there :p

but saafampton rocks! the saaf is wher the posh chavs are, innit :P

lol, you kinda went all jamaican (mon) at the end there :p

but saafampton rocks! the saaf is wher the posh chavs are, innit :P
*Breaks out his stake* Must kill all chavs....

Your jokin' govna, saafampton dosn't rock, it ain't wher all da real action is appening, u wanna go up north for all da real action man. Innit!

And try reading it in a scotch accent mon!

lol, you kinda went all jamaican (mon) at the end there :p

but saafampton rocks! the saaf is wher the posh chavs are, innit :P
I haven't been to Southampton in years. I've visited Portsmouth a few times recently, but I think the last time I was in Southampton was to catch the ferry, probably when I was about 8. :eek:

I haven't been to Southampton in years. I've visited Portsmouth a few times recently, but I think the last time I was in Southampton was to catch the ferry, probably when I was about 8. :eek:
52 years isn't that long ago...

And try reading it in a scotch accent mon!
ah, i was going for a Yorkshire or mancurian accent (was up in manchester this time last week)... it kinda makes more sense now :)

I haven't been to Southampton in years. I've visited Portsmouth a few times recently, but I think the last time I was in Southampton was to catch the ferry, probably when I was about 8. :eek:
well you're not missing out on much :p

52 years isn't that long ago...
:p Not quite that much, I'm afraid, but a good number of years nevertheless.

The history.


you can't change history, really i am proud of my history.

52 years isn't that long ago...

Longer 'n I have lived.
Allegations that the world began for I existed are based on ludicrous hearsay!

Only one thing? How on earth can I remedy Britain in one wish?

Ho hum.

Personally, I wish we had never allowed the post-war immigration to occur, but heh!

On a lighter note, I wopuld change the genes of our sportsmen to encorporate a "never lose to Australia, Germany, France, Argentina, Ireland or New Zealand" gene.

Anybody up for invading france? Not like it would be hard.

Failing that, wiping out chav kind. Surely we can gas them or something

You only have two problems:
1. The republican movement is gathering strength in this country, so you won't last long.

IS IT??? I haven't heard of any such movement and no political parties currently advocate abolishing the monarchy.

Longer 'n I have lived.
Allegations that the world began for I existed are based on ludicrous hearsay!

all hail the mighty bog....one nation.. under bogarchy

all hail the mighty bog....one nation.. under bogarchy


With freedom and justice for Bog only!

Anybody up for invading france? Not like it would be hard.

Failing that, wiping out chav kind. Surely we can gas them or something

speaking of chav's... Devo has made the jump from netcasting his rantings, to havng a show on channel 4...who'd have thunk... i'm assuming someone reading this knows who devo is!

With freedom and justice for Bog only!

do you really want to a rule a nation where they all wipe their backside with 'bog' roll?

do you really want to a rule a nation where they all wipe their backside with 'bog' roll?

No, mam - they can crap in the marsh!

No, mam - they can crap in the marsh!

*sigh*.. u say the sweetest things :fluffle:

*sigh*.. u say the sweetest things :fluffle:


:fluffle: you can come over and be my Queen of Sheba...

IS IT??? I haven't heard of any such movement and no political parties currently advocate abolishing the monarchy.
Actaully none of the main partys do, a lot of smaller groups and inderpendents do. There is a large republican movment around-you just don't see it. labour and the Lib Dems used to advocate abolishing the monacy hopefully when they return to socalism they will put that policy abck in.

The Blessed Chris-you really are a nasty, racist bastard arn't you?

:fluffle: you can come over and be my Queen of Sheba...

Queen Of Bog Marsh - .. hmm.. has a nice ring to it...as long as my throne is an ACTUAL throne, and not a bog on the marsh

Actaully none of the main partys do, a lot of smaller groups and inderpendents do. There is a large republican movment around-you just don't see it. labour and the Lib Dems used to advocate abolishing the monacy hopefully when they return to socalism they will put that policy abck in.

The Blessed Chris-you really are a nasty, racist bastard arn't you?

Nope - he's just a bit of a Lieutenant Blimp...

Queen Of Bog Marsh - .. hmm.. has a nice ring to it...as long as my throne is an ACTUAL throne, and not a bog on the marsh

Depleted Uranium?

*sends his Army off shopping in another country*

Depleted Uranium?

*sends his Army off shopping in another country*

shopping....my 2nd biggest love in life

Actaully none of the main partys do, a lot of smaller groups and inderpendents do. There is a large republican movment around-you just don't see it. labour and the Lib Dems used to advocate abolishing the monacy hopefully when they return to socalism they will put that policy abck in.

The Blessed Chris-you really are a nasty, racist bastard arn't you?

Nah. I simply think the post-war immigration was conducted without sufficient foresight or consideration, and upon to greater a scale.

Nah. I simply think the post-war immigration was conducted without sufficient foresight or consideration, and upon to greater a scale.
You'd prefer a smaller population (Shirnking) a week econermy, and all the other things that would have heppened without the immagration?

Take all the chavs and stick them on an uninhabited island in the middle of the Atlantic, with no connection of any kind to the outside world. Monitor them with a geostationary satellite. Sell the TV rights, and meanwhile use it as a science experiment to watch a replay of primitive society. This has several good effects.

1. We get rid of the chavs. They either wipe themselves out (good), or they recreate civilisation (unlikely but good) at which point they will be allowed to return to Britain.

2. We get a shitload of cash from selling the TV rights. We can use it for education or the environment or the NHS or something.

3. Less taxes needed to pay the welfare cheques. Lower taxes, or the knowledge that our pounds are going towards something more useful than bling.

4. Less crime. Probably almost no violent crime. Much less theft and vandalism. Safer environment for all the people who deserve it.

5. Less reality TV. Apart from "Chav Island", of course.

6. Less shit music on the radio. More metal. An excuse for Radio One to be reformed, so we can render Chris Moyles down into pork crackling.

7. Other good stuff.

I'd vote for you :p

Chav Islan would be an immense show, i would be like BB but just on a bigger scale.

And of course, they speak there own language so subtitles will need to be used

Remove democracy, end multiculturalism and switch over to monarchist minarchism.

Chav Islan would be an immense show, i would be like BB but just on a bigger scale.

And of course, they speak there own language so subtitles will need to be used

Thats another thing. Replace one of the guests in BB with a hungry tiger. I'd pay to watch that.

Thats another thing. Replace one of the guests in BB with a hungry tiger. I'd pay to watch that.

we do pay to watch it - it's called a tv license

which is bollox now cuz most shows are sponsored these days

You'd prefer a smaller population (Shirnking) a week econermy, and all the other things that would have heppened without the immagration?

The economy, oddly, no. The shrinking population? Of course. Housing is currently consuming the countryside.

we do pay to watch it - it's called a tv license

which is bollox now cuz most shows are sponsored these days

True, true

I'd vote for you :p

He gets my vote too.

But as for Chris Moyles, the pork crackling is too quick.

Actaully none of the main partys do, a lot of smaller groups and inderpendents do. There is a large republican movment around-you just don't see it. labour and the Lib Dems used to advocate abolishing the monacy hopefully when they return to socalism they will put that policy abck in.


Ah, a large republican movement that we just don't see. An invisible political movement makes perfect sense, of course.

shopping....my 2nd biggest love in life

My 2nd hobby remains cross-country invading!

and the first?

The economy, oddly, no. The shrinking population? Of course. Housing is currently consuming the countryside.
Look at the state Britians econermy was in after WW2. Quite simplay we didn't have enough people to keep the econermy growth up, that emans not enough consumers. With the NHS as well we needed more people.

A increasing peopulation and a young population demographic is vital to have a increasing econermy. If we hadn't imported those immigrants (Many of which work far, far harder than 'pure' Brits) the econermy would haveimploded adn Britian would be a 3rd rate pwoer rarther than a 2nd rate. power As it was the Ewconermy held up well thanks to immigration-at least until Thatcher ruined it again...

it seems that the people who rail against immigration don't understand the basic economics behind it.