NationStates Jolt Archive

up his anus.

I don't know how it happened. I don't think I want to know how it happened. But it happened and here it is...

http://today.reuters.com/news/newsarticle.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=2006-06-29T173915Z_01_SP130276_RTRUKOC_0_US-PAKISTAN-BULB.xml&WTmodLoc=NewsArt-L3-Oddly+Enough+NewsNews-2
MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

"I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

http://wwwi.reuters.com/images/2006-06-29T173919Z_01_NOOTR_RTRIDSP_2_ODD-PAKISTAN-BULB-DC.jpg

Stranger things have happened.

Stranger things have happened.

agreed

definitely

Suprisingly common! Guys (both straight and gay) stuff all kinds of things in their rectum.

From http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_216b.html

"The medical journals list, among other things, the following astonishing array:

A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a nine-inch zucchini, countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles, a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, two Vaseline jars, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a teacup, an oil can, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and much, much more.

In 1955 one man who was "feeling depressed" reportedly inserted a six-inch paper tube into his rectum, dropped in a lighted firecracker, and blew a hole in his anterior rectal wall. This changed his mood real quick.

"Insertion of foreign bodies into the rectum," as it is formally known, is by no means confined to gays. Many cases are ascribed to autoeroticism on the part of straights. Leaving aside victims of assault or accident, however, practitioners do have one thing in common: they're incredibly stupid."

Maybe he just had an idea and then sat on it.

Maybe he just had an idea and then sat on it.

:D

Maybe he just had an idea and then sat on it.
Would that make him a smart-ass or a wise-ass?

Or would it depend on the idea?

maybe it was allah's way of punishing him for making liquor?

Would that make him a smart-ass or a wise-ass?

Or would it depend on the idea?

I don't know...

Maybe he was just butt-storming.

I got as far as the pig's tail... Damn!

Some people are just beyond disgusting. How do people come up with shit like that? Is it some "Oh boring Sunday. No footy on the telly & the wife's not home. Wonder what's in the fridge.. Hey! There's a mangled tail off some dead critter in here. It'd sure look good up me bum!"

I mean.. What the hell?

I got as far as the pig's tail... Damn!

Some people are just beyond disgusting. How do people come up with shit like that? Is it some "Oh boring Sunday. No footy on the telly & the wife's not home. Wonder what's in the fridge.. Hey! There's a mangled tail off some dead critter in here. It'd sure look good up me bum!"

I mean.. What the hell?


Maybe he was going to a costume party as a pig.

maybe it was allah's way of punishing him for making liquor?

I thought divine punishment usually came in the form of lightning bolts.

This was what, a 40 W bulb? Maybe God is having trouble coping with rising electricity costs too.

"The medical journals list, among other things, the following astonishing array:

A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a nine-inch zucchini, countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles, a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, two Vaseline jars, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a teacup, an oil can, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and much, much more.

Must've been one hell of a party! :eek: :)

jesus fucking christ. I mean I love an anal orgasm as much as the next guy, but damn.....:p

Must've been one hell of a party! :eek: :)

Maybe even two or three hells of a party...

Maybe even two or three hells of a party...

They used WADs(Weapons of Ass Destruction). :D

They used WADs(Weapons of Ass Destruction). :D

LMAO!!!

Chemical or Biological, and maybe both in some cases. :D

I think he took the phrase "shove it up your ass" alittle too litterly!

Suprisingly common! Guys (both straight and gay) stuff all kinds of things in their rectum.

From http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_216b.html

"The medical journals list, among other things, the following astonishing array:

A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a nine-inch zucchini, countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles, a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, two Vaseline jars, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a teacup, an oil can, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and much, much more.

In 1955 one man who was "feeling depressed" reportedly inserted a six-inch paper tube into his rectum, dropped in a lighted firecracker, and blew a hole in his anterior rectal wall. This changed his mood real quick.

"Insertion of foreign bodies into the rectum," as it is formally known, is by no means confined to gays. Many cases are ascribed to autoeroticism on the part of straights. Leaving aside victims of assault or accident, however, practitioners do have one thing in common: they're incredibly stupid."

That is such an impressive list. I'm impressed by the imagination of these people. Who amongst us would even think about poking a tool kit up their bum, let alone actually do it! :D

jesus fucking christ. I mean I love an anal orgasm as much as the next guy, but damn.....:p
The next guy doesn't...


Maybe he just had an idea and then sat on it.
Would that make him a smart-ass or a wise-ass?
Or would it depend on the idea?
Kudos to you both.:p

I've heard of a Lightbulb up the rectum story before.
A Matchbox Car. You know the 50mm long 25mm wide metal ones that kids collect.
A Broom Handle.:(
A Hamster but it wasn't up there for long. Silly gays.

And of course Edward II of England died by a Hoote Broche up the Posteriale.-Roasting Spit.:p

a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds

... WTF? How is that even physically possible????

A Hamster but it wasn't up there for long. Silly gays.If this is a variation of the infamous gerbil rocket, I regret to inform you it's an urban legend.

Must've been one hell of a party! :eek: :)

You would be the only one with a bunch of ferrous components in the nuts I bet. :p

The Secret of LG's super balls revealed! Eats steel

If this is a variation of the infamous gerbil rocket, I regret to inform you it's an urban legend.
Yeah Gerbil..
Nope it is the truth they proved it on Mythbusters.

There are limited methods of achieving sexual gratification in prisons. Prostate stimulation isn't easy without bubba's assistance.

From http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_216b.html

"The medical journals list, among other things, the following astonishing array:

A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a nine-inch zucchini, countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles, a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, two Vaseline jars, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a teacup, an oil can, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and much, much more.

They forgot gerbils:rolleyes:

I got as far as the pig's tail... Damn!

Some people are just beyond disgusting. How do people come up with shit like that? Is it some "Oh boring Sunday. No footy on the telly & the wife's not home. Wonder what's in the fridge.. Hey! There's a mangled tail off some dead critter in here. It'd sure look good up me bum!"

I mean.. What the hell?
The one that scared me was the half-filled tobacco pouch. I mean, OK, your pockets are full or you don't want to spoil the line of your suit, but for Christ's sake, just swallow your macho pride and buy a man bag. Don't just stick your tobacco up your bum. It's really not going to do anything positive for the flavour of your rollies.

You would be the only one with a bunch of ferrous components in the nuts I bet. :p

The Secret of LG's super balls revealed! Eats steel

*shakes head* Titanium. :)