NationStates Jolt Archive

:eek: I was given this by a vet. I have edited it so it would somewhat pass for PC-ness here in GD.

Arab loyalty is completely different from American loyalty.

Be polite, be professional, but be prepared to kill everyone you meet. Round in the chamber at all times when outside the wire. Head on a swivel. There is no safe place outside of the wire, or inside for that matter.

No matter what, your soldiers should get the benefit of the doubt. If Joe is in fear for his life or that of his buddy, his actions are justified. Period. Too many field grades and JAGs have forgotten it, but NCO's and company grade officers need to support their troops.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting several times. Ammo is cheap; lives are not.

Switch lanes while under an overpass.

Iraqi kids love the looks of fireballs, but hate the taste.

Don't drive off the hardball if you can help it. There are antitank mines in half of the locals' garages.

Celebratory fire is all fun and games. Until it drops below a 45 degree angle. Then it's "game on".

Hadji doesn't think anything of a man with a rifle. If you have a pistol out and cocked, they shit their pants. (Something about execution squads from the Saddam era.)

Johnny Walker Blue from Saddam's personal stash will EFF YOU UP!

For an unknown reason, some normal female soldiers turn into sluts in Iraq. I know an MP company commander that had to pass an Article 15 on a female E-4 up to the battalion commander, since he was the one caught banging her.

The farther north you are, the better. The Kurds are awesome. Completely different culture. And it's not 130 degrees out.

Write your family every 2 days. Make time for it. You won't regret it, and the letters will give you something to look back on later.

When something happens and you are okay, call or email your family and tell them before the phones get shut down. No names of casualties, just an "I'm safe. Ignore the news."

Keep your weapon clean. It's your life. Don't oil it, and rotate the rounds that you keep on top of the mag.

Once you get the smell of dead bodies on your uniform or equipment, you need to wash them pronto, and well. That's one of the things that will stick with you for days, and you won't be popular. (It's a subliminal thing that the back of everyone's brain will recognize.)

Iraq has awesome DVD's. Only a few bucks each, and they get first-run movies. Or midget porn, if that's your thing. ("Fricky-fricky" DVDs, they're called.) So I hear...

Dump your boots before you put them on. Seriously.

Don't get raw sewage on desert boots. They will never be the same.

The magazine full of tracers that you normally load is NOT for setting fires. That would be wrong. It's for "marking targets".

Whatever else happens, thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, "What did you do in Iraq?" You won't have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

I was wondering why the hell a veterinarion would give you that, then I worked it out.


May I ask what the point is?

Man, I thought somebody had run over your dog when it got away and you were looking for advice.

I was wondering why the hell a veterinarion would give you that, then I worked it out.


May I ask what the point is?


I thought this was another post about his dog.

May I ask what the point is?

To up his post count? Like the vast majority of the threads he starts, it's just spam.

Unlike the cynics here, I found that list quite enjoyable. Twisted, yet enlightening.

To up his post count? Like the vast majority of the threads he starts, it's just spam.

:eek:

NO WAY!

I thought this was another post about his dog.

I would have said Veterinarian...

I love my dogs, but not enough to turn GD into a vet forum.

I would have said Veterinarian...

I love my dogs, but not enough to turn GD into a vet forum.

If you love your dog, set it free.

If the dog comes back, great!

If the dog comes back with a gun, it's an insurgent and you should frag it's shaggy ass.

Unlike the cynics here, I found that list quite enjoyable. Twisted, yet enlightening.

I found it mildly interesting, but it doesn't really promote discussion in any real way. A comment on it could have at least been made.

If you love your dog, set it free.

If the dog comes back, great!

If the dog comes back with a gun, it's an insurgent and you should frag it's shaggy ass.

Gartref you owe me a new keyboard. THAT WAS GOOD! :D

Hadji is the worst driver you will ever see. They have no situational awareness and sometimes need to be reminded what to do while on the road. Field Grades will tell you the 240B is not a traffic horn, they are right, it's better.

If Hadji ignores the warning shots don't be afraid to take out the vehicle. It's a piece of crap anyway, he won't notice the extra holes.

Don't be afraid to shoot. JAG and higher will do everything they can to make you afraid.

Every vehicle is a car bomb.

Every hole in the road has an IED.

The only thing you will find in the bottom of that hole is your purple heart, don't go look in it to see if there is an IED.

The only thing you will find in the trunk of that car is your purple heart, make the Iraqi Police or Iraq Army search it.

Thermals are great for locating IEDs, but not 100%.

When EOD wants a description of the IED do not go down range to get it. Lie... lie like a cheap rug.

There is a curfue and hadji knows all about it. When you see hadji fucking with the road at 0130 he is a dead hadji.

Do not call higher to ask permission to make him a dead hadji, instead call higher to report the dead hadji... After you fill out your sworn statements.

On raids seperate the women and children from the men. Question the women, they will have a different story.

Janabi/Jaboori=bad

Do not be afraid to dismount, but only do so when you have a task and purpose.

When dismounted stay off the roads when ever possible, getting wet sucks when crossing a canal, but it's better than being blown up at a choke point.

When you run out of seats for detainees make trunk space.

Be sure you don't have extra seats for the detainees.

When training IA, IP take it serioiusly, yes they are some of the dumbest gomers you will ever work with, but they are our ticket out.

Weed out the shitbags and doublecrossers.

The left overs make them proud to be IP/IA, give them ownership of the AO and show them trust (there is a difference between showing trust and actually trusting)

Treat the local nationals with dignity and respect until they do something to lose it. Pissing off the locals because you hate them all is not going to keep you safe. For example, my platoon did everything we could to help the people in our AO and they knew it. another platoon thought it was funny to throw flash bangs at LN's walking down the road for shits and giggles. Guess who had the most attacks.

IDF, yes, the first 3 rounds landed 800 meters away, but hadji can't shoot. His mortar groupings are horrible. Do the right thing and take cover.

Last but not least, What happens outside the wire stays outside the wire.

well it certainly is useful to know information

i like this list (http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html)

also provided by someone who served

i personally like this one

"37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood""

§pam

Ain't that fun? :D

"Hadji doesn't think anything of a man with a rifle. If you have a pistol out and cocked, they shit their pants. (Something about execution squads from the Saddam era.)"


Now that one I like!!!

Love it. Sounds like me.
p.S. Thats the problem with men in this country when they think vet means an animal doctor before a veteran,

Love it. Sounds like me.
p.S. Thats the problem with men in this country when they think vet means an animal doctor before a veteran,
"I'm taking the dog to the vet."
"What? Why? Are you taking him to the homeless guy down the street, the one who fought in Vietnam, or the one who just came back from Iraq?"

"Advice from a vet"
Like anyone would put advice for caring for your poor poodle on here...cheesuss....

*yawn*

If thats the 'sensitivity training' they're giving US troops now, no wonder its such a mess.

Glad some of you liked this...I didn't PC-ify the second one, just so some of you could see what a Vet would say exactly, in his own words.

And also because I was too lazy.

If you love your dog, set it free.

If the dog comes back, great!

If the dog comes back with a gun, it's an insurgent and you should frag it's shaggy ass.


lol!

i like this list (http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html)

also provided by someone who served

i personally like this one

"37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood""
Far more entertaining.

Far more entertaining.
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

That's quite funny actually.

Duck.

That's funny in a lot of ways - and it might even be on topic! :D

i like this list (http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html)

also provided by someone who served

i personally like this one

"37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood""
from the same website...


Some amusing misconceptions I have found floating around the net:
10. Skippy was a weird little cuss.
Look, if spending your leave assembling a kilt out of fruit roll-ups in order to be the world's first “Edible Scot” makes you weird…on second thought, that is kinda weird, so yeah, I guess that one stands.

guess that explains...
183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®

http://smilies.vidahost.com/otn/laughing/yelrotflmao.gif

There's something about 'Hadji' that reminds me of '******,' 'gook,' 'spic,' 'chink,' and 'jap.' Like those lovely terms, it seems to take the place of 'person,' especially when it deals with killing one('call the superiors to report the dead Hadji'). Must be easier that way. ...Fuckers.

There's something about 'Hadji' that reminds me of '******,' 'gook,' 'spic,' 'chink,' and 'jap.' Like those lovely terms, it seems to take the place of 'person,' especially when it deals with killing one('call the superiors to report the dead Hadji'). Must be easier that way. ...Fuckers.

Not uncommon. Ugly and sick, but not uncommon.

If he had said, "average Ibrahim", like our "average Joe" or "Joe Anybody" or what-have-you, would it have been better?

That's really a question, by the way, not an attempt at provocation. It still sounds, well, "categorist" (or something) to my ears, but it may be that "Hadji" has become "Joe Six-pack" or the equivalent.

Then again, given the obnoxious Johnny Quest image I get in my head, I fucking doubt it.:( It's likely to at least have had a racist, demeaning origin...

Read Generation Kill. More of the good and bad of living in war, written by a guy who was along with the Recon Marines during the invasion. Takes a "pro-soldier" view, and by that I do NOT mean pro-invasion or pro-garrisoning, pro-occupation or soldier-apologist.

Whatever his reasons for posting the OP, it's interesting. And yes, I think DM is often (among other shitty things) a deliberate, gleeful self-congratulatory polemicist. Nonetheless, this was interesting.

For absolutely no good reason, I'm going to post this.


William S. Burroughs - Words of Advice For Young People


People often ask me if I have any words of advice for young people.
Well here are a few simple admonitions for young and old.
Never intefere in a boy-and-girl fight.
Beware of whores who say they don't want money.
The hell they don't.
What they mean is they want more money. Much more.
If you're doing business with a religious son-of-a-bitch,
Get it in writing.
His word isn't worth shit.
Not with the good lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.

Avoid fuck-ups.
We all know the type.
Anything they have anything to do with,
No matter how good it sounds,
Turns into a disaster.
Do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill.
Tell them firmly:
I am not paid to listen to this drivel.
You are a terminal boob.

Now some of you may encounter the Devil's Bargain,
If you get that far.
Any old soul is worth saving,
At least to a priest,
But not every soul is worth buying.
So you can take the offer as a compliment.
He tries the easy ones first.
You know like money,
All the money there is.
But who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetary?
Money won't buy.
Not much left to spend it on, eh gramps?
Getting too old to cut the mustard.

Well time hits the hardest blows.
Especially below the belt.
How's a young body grab you?
Like three card monte, like pea under the shell,
Now you see it, now you don't.
Haven't you forgotten something, gramps?
In order to feel something,
You've got to be there.
You have to be eighteen.
You're not eighteen.
You are seventy-eight.
Old fool sold his soul for a strap-on.

Well they always try the easiest ones first.
How about an honorable bargain?
You always wanted to be a doctor,
Well now's your chance.
Why don't you become a great healer
And benefit humanity?
What's wrong with that?
Just about everything.
Just about everything.
There are no honorable bargains
Involving exchange
Of qualitative merchandise
Like souls
For quantitative merchandise
Like time and money.
So piss off Satan
And don't take me for dumber than I look.

An old junk pusher told me -
Watch whose money you pick up.

These are the guys that make the whole military look bad.

"If joe's looking out for himself and his buddies, anything's valid"

"Go make the Iraqi Army check the trunk"

"What happens outside the wire, stays outside the wire"

He gives some good advice, but its covered with bigotry and idiocy.

Funny how when I talked to a vet, he didn't feel the need to excuse illegal activity and call the iraqi's hadji. He mostly told us about the dangers of getting stuck doing convoy protection and getting into chokepoints, anyways. Most of the same info, without the crap.

These are the guys that make the whole military look bad.

"If joe's looking out for himself and his buddies, anything's valid"

"Go make the Iraqi Army check the trunk"

"What happens outside the wire, stays outside the wire"

He gives some good advice, but its covered with bigotry and idiocy.

Funny how when I talked to a vet, he didn't feel the need to excuse illegal activity and call the iraqi's hadji. He mostly told us about the dangers of getting stuck doing convoy protection and getting into chokepoints, anyways. Most of the same info, without the crap.which is why Skippy's list is better.
oh, and your sig, about Nintendo.... the only problem is that most guys won't be able to find it... and if they do, they won't be able to play with it properly. :D

i like this list (http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html)



106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s
Wait... I can understand the first 2 and the last 2 but it why is it wrong to trade in a stupid M-16 for an AK-47 or T-72?

Wait... I can understand the first 2 and the last 2 but it why is it wrong to trade in a stupid M-16 for an AK-47 or T-72?

It's because the trade-in value isn't as much. :D