NationStates Jolt Archive

Your definition of heaven.

Your definition of heaven.

Belfast.

Boring.

figment of imagination.

Your definition of heaven.
Calvin: "Where do you think we go when we die?"
Hobbs: "Pittsburg."
(Pause)
Calvin: "You mean if we're good, or if we're bad?"

My idea of heaven of a place where you can reunite with loved ones. You can relax with out all the stresses or drama you had in life. I rather like the ideas in What Dreams May Come (http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5x6KeqRE2wMBFB2jzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=12ispl02r/EXP=1151716362/**http%3a//www.loudbassoon.com/images/cinema/whatdreamsmaycome.jpg).

My friends and my grandfather.

Knowledge and laziness.

Heaven is the eternal resting place for our soules were they get to express their joy and love in with from and by christ for us unto etirnity. it is a place full of the warm loving light of god. it is beyond discription or imagination.

Your definition of heaven.

Free flowing booze that never causes a hangover.
Ilie in my bed with spurs on.
War not being in the dictionary because it doesn't exist.
Everyone has a dog.
I play drums in a kick ass rock band.
Daily Jesus vs. MLK chess matches.
Tiramisu the way my friend Damien's grandmother made.
A mute button.
My 21 year old body.
Mitch Hedberg standup every night.
Andy Kaufman is my best friend.
Gravy never gets that skin on top.

...

Shall I go on?

Raptor Jesus and my family.

Your definition of heaven.
They don't let old soldiers in, so it's not something I have to worry about. :)

They don't let old soldiers in, so it's not something I have to worry about. :)

Sure they'd let soldiers in! Unless of course, you commited war crimes.....

You know, like shoting and raping civilians? :sniper: :mp5: :mp5:

A Metalic Purple 1967 Pontiac GTO, with a supercharged 450CID V8, straight pipes, and most importantly, my lost family and friends.

Oh, I like lava lamps too. And I wouldn't mind nice hot pepperoni pizzas. I don't suppose you'd need to eat in heaven, but you wouldn't get fat either. :D

Also, I would like to still be able to listen to the music I like. I hope the angels don't find metallica and ozzy offensive.

Decomposition.

Free flowing booze that never causes a hangover.
Ilie in my bed with spurs on.
War not being in the dictionary because it doesn't exist.
Everyone has a dog.
I play drums in a kick ass rock band.
Daily Jesus vs. MLK chess matches.
Tiramisu the way my friend Damien's grandmother made.
A mute button.
My 21 year old body.
Mitch Hedberg standup every night.
Andy Kaufman is my best friend.
Gravy never gets that skin on top.

...

Shall I go on?


GOOG GOD MAN! How long have you been planning this?



(can I come too?)

Your definition of heaven.

I own and can drive every car that ever existed.

But seriously. Heaven is a peace and contentment that we find within ourselves when we are finally happy with who we are and the life we live.

They don't let old soldiers in, so it's not something I have to worry about. :)

Oh yes they do. You guys provide the ringer baseball team!

A place beyond imagination.. better than everything on Earth. Where you can be with all your old friends and God.. and have great times of laughter and feasts and adventures.. eternity of sweet bliss.. spent with those you love and meeting new friends.. A place where every view is better than the best view on Earth.. a place without all the little discomforts that are so annoying here or the huge pains or sadness... Heaven is perfection..

I'll be pretty pissed if they don't have cars in heaven. Who cares if you don't need them to get around, thats not the point. I love playing with and driving cars.

Your definition of heaven.
Peace of Mind and Soul.
Happiness that is eternal.
Love that is never ending.

GOOG GOD MAN! How long have you been planning this?


Been planning on death for a long time. It's inevitable. May as well be ready. :D


(can I come too?)

Yes! It's BYOB night every night.

LoL, I want to be God's armchair general. I think he sucks at ruling the world.

Sexy Ninjas who bend to my every command.

Also, Internets.

Sexy Ninjas who bend to my every command.

Also, Internets.man, they'll have to be flexable ninjas... :D

Been planning on death for a long time. It's inevitable. May as well be ready. :D



Yes! It's BYOB night every night.

Sweet.

Oh, what do I have to bring? Booze? Buddies? Babes? Breakfast? Booze? Babes? I thought all of those things were in heaven already.

Or do I just have to bring my soul so that god doesn't go hungry?

They don't let old soldiers in, so it's not something I have to worry about. :)

Eutrusca, I would like to point you to this poem.

Soldier
By Anonymus

The soldier stood and faced his God
Which must always come to pass
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and
said, "No, Lord, I guess I ain't
Because those of us who carry guns
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays
And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime
When the bills got just too steep,

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here,
They never wanted me around
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand."

There was a silence all around the throne
Where the saints had often trod
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God,

"Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well,
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

And as for me, a massive wild, Redwoods and other pines covering rolling hills at the foot of mountains, which stretch endlessly upwards, with massive glaciers filling in mountain valleys. Think something along the lines of the Black Forest. And every night, Patton, Lee, Jackson, Grant, Eutrusca, and every other soldier fests in a massive mead hall with St. Michael the Archangel and all of God's warrior angels. (Note, this is based off one of the Seven Heavens of Dante in Paradisio of the Divine Comedy)

man, they'll have to be flexable ninjas... :D

Oh, they will be.

If you know what I mean.

Your definition of heaven.
in life: earth populated by a peaceful 1/1000 of the current population.
in death: eternal rest from this overpopulated and violent planet.

Eutrusca, I would like to point you to this poem.

Soldier
By Anonymus

The soldier stood and faced his God
Which must always come to pass
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and
said, "No, Lord, I guess I ain't
Because those of us who carry guns
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays
And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime
When the bills got just too steep,

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here,
They never wanted me around
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand."

There was a silence all around the throne
Where the saints had often trod
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God,

"Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well,
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."

Repeated for suaveness.

Repeated for suaveness.

I really wish iot had been mine, If any one knows who wrote this, let me know, I want to credit him with it when I put it up in my office after I get my Naval Comission.

Repeated for suaveness.

Hells yeah! (pardon the pun)

much better than earth

Heaven is where you truely know what is real.

Your definition of heaven.


Music, laughter, friends, surprises, critters, change

No exaust fumes, no deadlines, and no tests.

Calvin: "Where do you think we go when we die?"
Hobbs: "Pittsburg."
(Pause)
Calvin: "You mean if we're good, or if we're bad?"

Haha! I love that one.

Free flowing booze that never causes a hangover.
Ilie in my bed with spurs on.
War not being in the dictionary because it doesn't exist.
Everyone has a dog.
I play drums in a kick ass rock band.
Daily Jesus vs. MLK chess matches.
Tiramisu the way my friend Damien's grandmother made.
A mute button.
My 21 year old body.
Mitch Hedberg standup every night.
Andy Kaufman is my best friend.
Gravy never gets that skin on top.

...

Shall I go on?

Oh man, Mitch Hedberg...why did he have to die? Instead of George W. Bush? Why? (P.S. Thanks! ...but...spurs?)

NationStates

Just imagine, since you're there for eternity, your population would be infinity. Pretty hardcore, no?

(P.S. Thanks! ...but...spurs?)

Spurs kick ass! :D

I've said it before, but this is my idea of heaven:

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h153/IlieNS/photos%20of%20me/bookescapeghost.jpg

...with my puppy, though. And nobody cares if he pees on the floor by accident.

Spurs kick ass! :D

I think they'd puncture ass.

Your definition of heaven.

whatever's there, it includes that guy played by Alec Rickman in Dogma..

Spurs kick ass! :D
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/1370.gif
Nicely put

Spending eternity with Christ, my family, and a bunch of vets gathered around the ages' best catered meal swapping war stories.

:p

My heaven? Living exactly like I am now, a poor college kid; but with more money so I dont have to worry about finances.

Heaven for me is somewhere I have peace with everything in every possible manner, so that nothing hostile could ever arise.

I do not want a body, I wish to be a spirit but that is just me.

I'm not sure what's in heaven, but I hope I get there before the devil figures out that I've died!

Éireann go Brách

I'm not sure what's in heaven, but I hope I get there before the devil figures out that I've died!

Love that blessing, "May you be in Heaven five seconds before the Devil knows your dead"

Irish Wakes kick ass.

My Golden Retriever Brandy and my British Shorthair Gravy. Basically, Heaven is a place where all of my pets are there with me, all healthy again (especially Gravy, who had a long battle with cancer), and my family is there without fighting with one another, and it's always 60 degrees, but there's skiing nearby. It would be wonderful :D.

here is a less conventional yet a lot more believable idea of an afterlife... (http://www.apocatastasis.net/EternalLife/Joes-Scripts.html)

If it's the same Heaven that most of the people who think they're going to Heaven are going to, I want my booking changed to Hell please. :p

Happiness and joy for everyone. Weeeeeee---!!!!

My life and being here on earth. A member of the western world in 2006, no better time to be alive then right now people.

lots and lots of chili cheese fries...that are fed to me by a naked virgin who never loses her virginity(just one, not 72. just one)


i wish....probably once i die ill come back as a spirit

Your definition of heaven.

catherine zeta sitting on me giggling!

catherine zeta sitting on me giggling!

:eek:

I'm not sure if you guys take into account the seven deadly sins probably not being encouraged there, like, eating too much or lusting after women. Some of the most fun things to do, even when there's no physical consequence because it's heaven, they probably don't allow.

Piers Anthony depicts heaven as a rather boring place, with something like 10 layers, including the planets in the solar system, with Venus being heaven's plane of love where lovers can be together forever, but they don't actually get to do anything to eachother because that kind of thing is forbidden just like it was on earth, except in heaven you don't get to do it and then ask for forgiveness later.

Kind of like life, but with people being decent towards each other.

I'm not sure if you guys take into account the seven deadly sins probably not being encouraged there, like, eating too much or lusting after women. Some of the most fun things to do, even when there's no physical consequence because it's heaven, they probably don't allow.

Piers Anthony depicts heaven as a rather boring place, with something like 10 layers, including the planets in the solar system, with Venus being heaven's plane of love where lovers can be together forever, but they don't actually get to do anything to eachother because that kind of thing is forbidden just like it was on earth, except in heaven you don't get to do it and then ask for forgiveness later.
Even though most religious works address that act as sacred, when performed between a husband and a wife?

Even though most religious works address that act as sacred, when performed between a husband and a wife?

Sacred, in a way. Oral and anal are considered sodomy regardless, and I'm pretty sure that guy back there isn't married to Catherine Zeta Jones.

My personal paradise.

Piekrom']Heaven is the eternal resting place for our soules were they get to express their joy and love in with from and by christ for us unto etirnity. it is a place full of the warm loving light of god. it is beyond discription or imagination.

That would be consistent with the idea of non-believers being condemned to Hell. If there was nothing for a non-believer to look forward to beyond expressing love and joy for someone they neither respect or admire, I could not think of a worse Hell than that.

Anyway, my definition of Heaven would be a state of mind that one experiences after one's desires have been fufilled. It's not a state where one can dwell for all eternity though because it either fades or leads one towards arrogance, which can quickly cast one's life into the toilet.

I think any permanent heaven would be boring as hell.

I think of Heaven as a place where you relax in between lives, recharge your spiritual batteries, hook up with people you miss, share what you learned in the last life - and then it's back down to Earth where you start a new life and try to do things just a little bit better than the last time.

I don't think eternity in a place like heaven will be boring. I always look forward to spending time with friends, maybe family. I feel as if I could spend an eternity with the friends I have now to comfort, converse with, and just be in each other's company. So, having millions of more friends will definitely not be boring for me at all. Plus, having God around, it will be like one big party.

I'm not sure if you guys take into account the seven deadly sins probably not being encouraged there, like, eating too much or lusting after women. Some of the most fun things to do, even when there's no physical consequence because it's heaven, they probably don't allow.

Piers Anthony depicts heaven as a rather boring place, with something like 10 layers, including the planets in the solar system, with Venus being heaven's plane of love where lovers can be together forever, but they don't actually get to do anything to eachother because that kind of thing is forbidden just like it was on earth, except in heaven you don't get to do it and then ask for forgiveness later.

I'd hate to be in a heaven like that.

Nothing.

I think any permanent heaven would be boring as hell.

I think of Heaven as a place where you relax in between lives, recharge your spiritual batteries, hook up with people you miss, share what you learned in the last life - and then it's back down to Earth where you start a new life and try to do things just a little bit better than the last time.
Maybe it would be boring for you but i'd say most of us haven't had the 'pleasure' of a red hot poker the size of a Mac truck rammed up our anus repeatedly for all eternity.

I'd take the pleasantness of Heaven any day.

I don't know if I have a place in heaven. If I do, I'd like to trade it in for nonexistance. And give the place in heaven to some poor soul in hell, if that's possible.

Okay, so if the God of the Bible is real....
-I'm going to ring the doorbell and demand to see who is in charge
-They say I can't come in
-God comes to the door
-There is a HUGE fight as I demand answers and He doesn't give them to me
-This goes on for a long time
-Finally, He puts me up in Hotel Heaven so we can finish our fight later
-This repeats for eternity

Yes, I honestly have a few words for that God and I want answers.

Now... how I think it will really go...
-I think it's finally over and I can have peace
-The powers that be tell me that it's not over yet
-I wander around the celestial planes of the universe, learning, watching, and waiting
-I enter a deep meditation/trance
-I become content with the fact I will never have peace
-All of the sudden, BAM, I finally have peace (enlightenment)

I don't know if I have a place in heaven. If I do, I'd like to trade it in for nonexistance. And give the place in heaven to some poor soul in hell, if that's possible.

See, I have a hard time believing in a permanent hell. I think it either doesn't exist or that it's not forever.

A never ending box of Tim Tams? :p

My real answer to that question is a secret ;)

Heaven to me would be an imperfect world. One in which we do not have to search for the flaws in. One in which we don't have to constantly test the rules to know there are some we can break. A world based on intellectual merit. A world very much like this one, except without a pseudo-rule system like governments and somesuch.

reincarnation

I have enough trouble spending boxing day with my family - let alone the rest of eternity in heaven with various members of them

ACtually, going along with this, have you guys ever considered we really might be in heaven already? That all this grief bs is all a human construct because we are searching for something to be unhappy about?

Of course, I may just be really cold hearted. I've never felt grief, not even when my grandmother and brother died. Maybe just smidgens of loneliness, but never true grief. Therefore, according to my view, it doesn't exist.

See, I have a hard time believing in a permanent hell. I think it either doesn't exist or that it's not forever.

I don't see the point in hell at all. I assume that once we are dead, revenge will not be important any more. But as long as we are alive, it is an instictive reaction. That's why we invented hell, as a form of intellektual revenge for the righteous...

Well,, I don't *really* believe in it.

The little kid part in me that isn't bothered by rationality and operates on some more parasympathetic level, however, thinks it is where people go after they die. And they can see us, too. And you can actually kinda talk ("pray") to them.

Probably based on personal history, though, so meh.

And I never made up a full version of how heaven looks or anything, except that people there are "always happy".

Well,, I don't *really* believe in it.

The little kid part in me that isn't bothered by rationality and operates on some more parasympathetic level, however, thinks it is where people go after they die. And they can see us, too. And you can actually kinda talk ("pray") to them.

Probably based on personal history, though, so meh.

And I never made up a full version of how heaven looks or anything, except that people there are "always happy".
Unicorns, don't forget the Unicorns.

Heaven...It's here. It's my town. It's my friends. It's my family. It's my passions.
It's up to us to build heaven... Well, it's like that for me...

ACtually, going along with this, have you guys ever considered we really might be in heaven already? That all this grief bs is all a human construct because we are searching for something to be unhappy about?

Of course, I may just be really cold hearted. I've never felt grief, not even when my grandmother and brother died. Maybe just smidgens of loneliness, but never true grief. Therefore, according to my view, it doesn't exist.

Actually, I have thought of that. Well, not that we're in heaven but that we look for things to be ungappy about.

Whats heaven supposed to be? The best feeling possible, right? And what's the best feeling on earth that we know of? An orgasm, of course. So what is heaven? perpetual orgasms. (Not one eternal orgasm, rather lots of successive orgasm).

Your definition of heaven.

The presence of the Living God! :fluffle:

an arcade with all of my favorite games (including PS2, Gamecube, etc... games), all free of charge to play whenever I want!

that'd be mine XD

an arcade with all of my favorite games (including PS2, Gamecube, etc... games), all free of charge to play whenever I want!

that'd be mine XD
lol. too bad! you dont get it, The Moron said so....hehehehe.
That sounds okay, but my heaven is way better.

lol. too bad! you dont get it, The Moron said so....hehehehe.
That sounds okay, but my heaven is way better.

Yours was the eternal orgasm, right? I guess I could follow that religion :D

Unicorns, don't forget the Unicorns.
Oh, shuddup, ye olde grump.

psh, I wasn't finished.

My Heaven would be this:

large unscalable Mountains surrounding the entire area with beautiful waterfalls coming down, going into a large river. A huge field next to the river, directly in the center, going in 3 directions. On the left, a forest, beautifully lit to illuminate the trees, reflecting their beauty, showing the leaves as hanging "emeralds".

On the right, a castle.

In the north, a large covered dome, the arcade. Filled with an endless supply of games that are free of charge. Next to the Dome, a large building, the kitchen. With an endless supply of food, utensils, and whatnot, so that I don't have to worry about ever running out.

Running across the field, a heard of unicorns, pearly white with golden horns.

In the sky, a large gryphon that allows me to ride it.

That right there is my definition of heaven in it's fullest.

psh, I wasn't finished.

My Heaven would be this:

large unscalable Mountains surrounding the entire area with beautiful waterfalls coming down, going into a large river. A huge field next to the river, directly in the center, going in 3 directions. On the left, a forest, beautifully lit to illuminate the trees, reflecting their beauty, showing the leaves as hanging "emeralds".

On the right, a castle.

In the north, a large covered dome, the arcade. Filled with an endless supply of games that are free of charge. Next to the Dome, a large building, the kitchen. With an endless supply of food, utensils, and whatnot, so that I don't have to worry about ever running out.

Running across the field, a heard of unicorns, pearly white with golden horns.

In the sky, a large gryphon that allows me to ride it.

That right there is my definition of heaven in it's fullest.


No Ligers???

No Ligers???

Nope, but there is a white tiger that lives deep in the forest. He's friendly though.

My dog Thelma would be with me too, we practically grew up together :D.

psh, I wasn't finished.

My Heaven would be this:

large unscalable Mountains surrounding the entire area with beautiful waterfalls coming down, going into a large river. A huge field next to the river, directly in the center, going in 3 directions. On the left, a forest, beautifully lit to illuminate the trees, reflecting their beauty, showing the leaves as hanging "emeralds".

On the right, a castle.

In the north, a large covered dome, the arcade. Filled with an endless supply of games that are free of charge. Next to the Dome, a large building, the kitchen. With an endless supply of food, utensils, and whatnot, so that I don't have to worry about ever running out.

Running across the field, a heard of unicorns, pearly white with golden horns.

In the sky, a large gryphon that allows me to ride it.

That right there is my definition of heaven in it's fullest.

Combine my eternity of orgasms with these settings, and i think you have a heaven fit for a king, or a penguin.

If Heaven exists, its full of Atheists.

I don't believe in heaven but theoretically...I'd like lots of naked and dead sexy women, belgian beer, widescreen television with surround sound, superfast computers with superfast internet and comfy couches when I go to heaven.

Whats in heaven?
God.

Duh.

...I'd like lots of naked and dead sexy women...

dead sexy women

dead, sexy women

or both?

dead sexy women

dead, sexy women

or both?
Some things are better left unasked.

Sexy Dead Women.

Oh, shuddup, ye olde grump.
Well i was hoping you would die so i could see you in heaven when i do but if you don't loves me.:(
I am as Happy as a Sandboy as a matter of fact.:D

Sexy Dead Women.
And unanswered.

Sexy Dead Women.

Watch out! Comments like that will merit the red hot poker.

And unanswered.
I ain't a fan of Zombies either but Vampires hmmmm all that sucking.

Watch out! Comments like that will merit the red hot poker.
:eek:
I am not Jewish ya NAZI!:mp5:
:(

I ain't a fan of Zombies either but Vampires hmmmm all that sucking.
Um, sweety, I don't know how to break it to you - but you do know the sucking involves biting, right?

dead sexy women

dead, sexy women

or both?

Well..if they're still warm to the touch... :D

Anyhoo...I did mean women who are sexy as hell. Preferably with bracers (those things on the teeth) as I find that EXTREMELY sexy.

Um, sweety, I don't know how to break it to you - but you do know the sucking involves biting, right?
Yep. ^_^

Well..if they're still warm to the touch... :D

Anyhoo...I did mean women who are sexy as hell. Preferably with bracers (those things on the teeth) as I find that EXTREMELY sexy.I'd find that a tad ironic, all things considered. :p

Yep. ^_^And you do know I wasn't talking neck here, right?

I'd find that a tad ironic, all things considered. :p

You're a quite evil person you know? =)
*sighs* Alright...sexy women will do. Now THAT can't be misinterpreted, can it?

Everyone you've ever loved and missed since they died is there to welcome you, and you get to be with all of them for eternity. A big party with your loved ones forever. :)

And you do know I wasn't talking neck here, right?
I am talking 'neck'.;)

Um, sweety, I don't know how to break it to you - but you do know the sucking involves biting, right?

Err...if my girlfriend would bite when she's sucking me...I'd get mad. And probably hospitalized for a few days :D

WYTYG would you like a hug from me?

You're a quite evil person you know? =)
*sighs* Alright...sexy women will do. Now THAT can't be misinterpreted, can it?Lol, no, I guess not (though someone just might find a way). :p

Everyone you've ever loved and missed since they died is there to welcome you, and you get to be with all of them for eternity. A big party with your loved ones forever. :)
Yeah, that's what I meant. Just less cheesily put than I did. <.<

This.

I am talking 'neck'.;)
Ah, pity the fool. :p

WYTYG would you like a hug from me?Well, this conversation certainly took a turn for the surreal. o.O :p

Err...if my girlfriend would bite when she's sucking me...I'd get mad. And probably hospitalized for a few days :D

Ah, but see, vampires have these tiny, razorsharp teeth.... you wouldn't even notice ;)

Ah, pity the fool. :p
I know this will be hard for you to understand but if i am a Vampire it aint gonna matter anyways.
Well, this conversation certainly took a turn for the surreal. o.O :p
I dislike the bickering, so show me some loven.

Ah, but see, vampires have these tiny, razorsharp teeth.... you wouldn't even notice ;)

I suddenly had to grab my groin, in a protective manner mind you, when I read that. Razorsharp teeth and sucking just don't match! :D

I suddenly had to grab my groin, in a protective manner mind you, when I read that. Razorsharp teeth and sucking just don't match! :D

*lol
Well, I seem to remember a story by Lord Byron about vampires of... another kind. Not very much after blood, but rather something else.... :p

*lol
Well, I seem to remember a story by Lord Byron about vampires of... another kind. Not very much after blood, but rather something else.... :p
W00T!

I know this will be hard for you to understand but if i am a Vampire it aint gonna matter anyways."Hard" indeed. But I'll leave that problem for you to not-live through.

I dislike the bickering, so show me some loven.I dislike the tone of this order, but alright. http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/love049.gif

W00T!

Yep, dirty old bugger he was, too. :D

*lol
Well, I seem to remember a story by Lord Byron about vampires of... another kind. Not very much after blood, but rather something else.... :p

What...perv vampires! Did they, at least, buy their victims dinner before? But it all proves a theory. "Naughty" acts before marriage turns you into a vampy! Guess I'm lucky I'm not a hairy handed vampy though. I have enough work with shaving around my very attractive facial hair formation.

No backstreet boys C.D.s

What...perv vampires! Did they, at least, buy their victims dinner before? But it all proves a theory. "Naughty" acts before marriage turns you into a vampy! Guess I'm lucky I'm not a hairy handed vampy though. I have enough work with shaving around my very attractive facial hair formation.

I somehow can't imagine vampires having much facial hair... or hairy vampires at all, for that matter.

The Holiest Goddess Belinda defined heaven to the Gaydanians many years ago.

I quote from her scripture" Ooooo baby heavan is a place on earth ooooo" Tis custom for those present to follow this with a very loud squeel

Gaydanians love to party and heaven is a room full of eye candy, some alcohol and a euphoric beat for us all to dance to. Death happens quite young for Gaydanians, an exact age is hard to pinpoint as our modified genetics does tend to have the affect of varying our age as we get older in Planet years

Come to think of it, hell is probably a LOT cooler than heaven, I wrote this on my MySpace:


If there is indeed a heaven, (which I don't beleive there is) does anyody expect anyone INTERESTING to be there?
I mean, maybe, MAYBE your family will be there...

other than that, who would be there?
name a good musician you HONESTLY think would be admitted into a christian heaven?

name 15 musicians you KNOW you're gonna find in hell....

which one was easier?- EXACTLY
in hell I expect there's Hitler, he'd be interesting to talk to... every politician and lawyer.... Satan, all the rappers... most writers since most of them don't follow that book filled with shit.....
according to Republicans, all gays will be there too...
Where would you end up?
..1. you're a lying bitch.... I can say that through a loudspeaker in times square, and every single persons gonna be like "Yes?"
..2. you don't obey your parents, and if you do, then you probably suck...... get out of my bulletin post
..3 Everybody "takes his name in vain" GODDAMMIT, JESUS CHRIST!
..4 You're all lust-filled greedy, hateful, wrathful, lazy, gluttonous, envious screwheads in this country...
..5 You can't help but laugh when you look at the popes funny hat and magic wand looking thingy......

okay, next on the list the most important thing that would make you decide heaven or Hell- Where will I(N.D.) be?

Guess.........


(end of post)

anyways, another thing, in Hell, I expect a constant Twiztid/Frank Zappa/ Insane Clown Posse/ 2pac concert, huge torches made of thai sticks, scantily clad women in leather, goth chicks, philosophers, LSD in the water, alcohol in the gatorade, and Kurt Cobaines head

A nice lie to hide our fear for ceasing to be, the horror vacui of existence.:mad:

What there is in heaven for me?


Hell.
I'd hate to be in heaven.

Yep, dirty old bugger he was, too. :D
That post kind a proved me right!:)
Yay for you knowing of his dirtyness.
He died in a war right?
Fighting for the Greeks?

"Hard" indeed. But I'll leave that problem for you to not-live through.
As long as you are not living with me.:)

I dislike the tone of this order, but alright. http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/love049.gif
Would you like me to order you in a plesent tone?

That post kind a proved me right!:)
Yay for you knowing of his dirtyness.
He died in a war right?
Fighting for the Greeks?

If he did, it was most likely to avoid dying of syphilis... :D

If he did, it was most likely to avoid dying of syphilis... :D
he had the Syphirus?:p
There is a Bay in Queensland Australia named after him.
Byron Bay...

My idea of Heaven? A combination maze and funhouse filled with insanity, attack clowns, booby traps, video arcades, snack bars(for occasional breaks and sustenance), pie fights, mud pits, sex fiends, Aerosmith and A main trap control room at the center that has a living area, dining area, entertainment center and mud wrestling ring. There, in the center of the Funhouse Maze, I shall live and I will entertain and torment everyone who comes inside. If they reach the center, they will share a lovely meal, be awarded prizes, challenge me to a mud wrestling match and then try to get out again.

Whether it be in Heaven, or on Earth, this is my dream. :)

Boring.

If eternal happiness is boring, you must be a very sad person.

A place beyond imagination.. better than everything on Earth. Where you can be with all your old friends and God.. and have great times of laughter and feasts and adventures.. eternity of sweet bliss.. spent with those you love and meeting new friends.. A place where every view is better than the best view on Earth.. a place without all the little discomforts that are so annoying here or the huge pains or sadness... Heaven is perfection..

Well said, in the Bible it says that heaven is paved with gold.

If eternal happiness is boring, you must be a very sad person.

Or a very happy one. :D

Or a very happy one. :D

Impossible, illogical too.:gundge:

he had the Syphirus?:p
There is a Bay in Queensland Australia named after him.
Byron Bay...

Just found out... he did fight in Greece, but he didn't die there. He died in England, of a "fever" :D

he had the Syphirus?:p
There is a Bay in Queensland Australia named after him.
Byron Bay...

Byron bay? Must have been where the "magic" happened ;P

My idea of Heaven? A combination maze and funhouse filled with insanity, attack clowns, booby traps, video arcades, snack bars(for occasional breaks and sustenance), pie fights, mud pits, sex fiends, Aerosmith and A main trap control room at the center that has a living area, dining area, entertainment center and mud wrestling ring. There, in the center of the Funhouse Maze, I shall live and I will entertain and torment everyone who comes inside. If they reach the center, they will share a lovely meal, be awarded prizes, challenge me to a mud wrestling match and then try to get out again.

Whether it be in Heaven, or on Earth, this is my dream. :)

Which kind:p

*lol
Well, I seem to remember a story by Lord Byron about vampires of... another kind. Not very much after blood, but rather something else.... :p

I have heard that vampire bites are supposed to be very pleasurable :eek: ;)

I have heard that vampire bites are supposed to be very pleasurable :eek: ;)

hehe.... well, from the looks on the bitten women's faces in vampire movies... very pleasureable indeed.
I've got rather pointy eyeteeth, and nobody ever complained about being bitten by me so far :D

I have heard that vampire bites are supposed to be very pleasurable :eek: ;)
Of course you get this massive pain and then the blood drains from you and you feel all warm and oh you're talking about something else...

hehe.... well, from the looks on the bitten women's faces in vampire movies... very pleasureable indeed.
I've got rather pointy eyeteeth, and nobody ever complained about being bitten by me so far :D

:eek: :D

*Hug*

Of course you get this massive pain and then the blood drains from you and you feel all warm and oh you're talking about something else...

:D

Which kind:p
:p That almost makes me want to see the kind you're thinking of.

Just found out... he did fight in Greece, but he didn't die there. He died in England, of a "fever" :D
Ok, he was an idealist nutter then!:)

:eek: :D

*Hug*

:fluffle:
*playful bite

Ok, he was an idealist nutter then!:)

But a dirty one. Who wrote nice dirty things. *nods

Would you like me to order you in a plesent tone?:p Heh, pwned me there. Well done. And yes.

hehe.... well, from the looks on the bitten women's faces in vampire movies... very pleasureable indeed.
I've got rather pointy eyeteeth, and nobody ever complained about being bitten by me so far :D
Indeed.
Then they grow fangs and it tends to turn into a wild Vampire Orgy.

*Has Fangs*

Which kind:p

All sorts. Some automatic, and some operator controlled. Nothing lethal, or paricularly injurious, but definitely silly, embarrassing and/or hindering. Some traps(and this is the point) wil dump people back at the beginning or funnel them out of the fun house completely, thus ending their visit. It's part of the fun to try to make it to the center if you can. Not everyone will. :)

:fluffle:
*playful bite

:eek: :D

*Fluffle like hug*

:p Heh, pwned me there. Well done. And yes.
I demand that you be so kind as to please show me your cleavege pic.:p
:rolleyes:

But a dirty one. Who wrote nice dirty things. *nods
Your inspiration perhaps?:p

:fluffle:
*playful bite
Damn Coulda/shoulda/woulda used that one.

Your inspiration perhaps?:p

Damn Coulda/shoulda/woulda used that one.

On me too? :p

All sorts. Some automatic, and some operator controlled. Nothing lethal, or paricularly injurious, but definitely silly, embarrassing and/or hindering. Some traps(and this is the point) wil dump people back at the beginning or funnel them out of the fun house completely, thus ending their visit. It's part of the fun to try to make it to the center if you can. Not everyone will. :)
Aw, now I'm almost disappointed. :p

Your inspiration perhaps?:p

How do you know I write? I never said a word about that here... and how do you know what I write??? :eek:

I demand that you be so kind as to please show me your cleavege pic.:p
:rolleyes:
Heh, very nicely phrased. And who knows - without those rolleyes, you just might have gotten it. :eek: :D :p

Aw, now I'm almost disappointed. :p

Nevetheless, it has always been my dream to build it. But insurance and lawsuits are going to be a real obstacle. :(

That's what killed the funhouses of the 50s and before. :(

:eek: :D

*Fluffle like hug*

So, you don't mind that I bite? I can't always help it, you know?

Your definition of heaven.

Torment. Who wants to live forever? I just hope there is nothing beyond death so I can slip into blissful oblivion.

Torment. Who wants to live forever? I just hope there is nothing beyond death so I can slip into blissful oblivion.

Then you will.

Unlike many of my christian brethren, I don't believe that atheists go to hell. I believe they cease to exist. All in keeping with their beliefs.

On me too? :p
Yes.:D

Heh, very nicely phrased. And who knows - without those rolleyes, you just might have gotten it. :eek: :D :p
I didn't think youd be game so i didn't even really want to try.
If i passed it off as a joke it would save me the embarrasment of when you turned my proposal down.:(
How do you know I write? I never said a word about that here... and how do you know what I write???:eek:
Your seedyness.
Kind of like a Royal title now that i think of it.
Anything you say your Seedyness...

Yes.:D

:eek: :D

*Hugs*

So, you don't mind that I bite? I can't always help it, you know?

Do I mind? Are you kidding? :D ;)

So, you don't mind that I bite? I can't always help it, you know?
Do I mind? Are you kidding?:D ;)
:eek: :D

*Hugs*
*Goes into convulsions*:p

I didn't think youd be game so i didn't even really want to try.
If i passed it off as a joke it would save me the embarrasment of when you turned my proposal down.:( Smart boy. ;)

*Goes into convulsions*:p

I hope those are good convulsions :p ;)

Smart boy. ;)

So I guess there's no chance of me getting a look? :p ;)

Smart boy. ;)
I always have to be on my guard with you.:( :p

So I guess there's no chance of me getting a look? :p ;)
*quickly interjects*
There is enough of me to go around.

I always have to be on my guard with you. :( :p Well, I have to keep you on your toes. *nods*
So I guess there's no chance of me getting a look? :p ;) Well, for you it wouldn't exactly be all that interesting - it's just boobs. :p
*quickly interjects*
There is enough of me to go around. Why, Harlesy, you're offering cleavage pics, too? Send me a TG! ;p

Well, for you it wouldn't exactly be all that interesting - it's just boobs. :p

Except that I showed up in that thread apparently right after you took them down, so I felt left out :(:p

Your definition of heaven.

Nonexistance.

Except that I showed up in that thread apparently right after you took them down, so I felt left out :(:pAww. You didn't really miss anything, if I say so myself. :p

Aww. You didn't really miss anything, if I say so myself. :p

o.O I'll have to take your word for it :p

Well, I have to keep you on your toes. *nods*
And you are so good at it.
Well, for you it wouldn't exactly be all that interesting - it's just boobs. :p
;)
Why, Harlesy, you're offering cleavage pics, too? Send me a TG! ;p
Ah i see, i guess that ego of mine got the better of me.
*Kills self*

Aww. You didn't really miss anything, if I say so myself. :p
Let me be the judge of that.:p

In heaven, you get a stack of coupons sent in the mail every week but instead of only getting 20 cents off for say catfood, they all say, "100% off." Also, you get to places by waterslide.

In heaven, you get a stack of coupons sent in the mail every week but instead of only getting 20 cents off for say catfood, they all say, "100% off." Also, you get to places by waterslide.

I could live with that. *nod*

o.O I'll have to take your word for it :pHeh, yep, I'm afraid you will. ;) :p
Ah i see, i guess that ego of mine got the better of me.
*Kills self*What, no piccies? Tease. ;p
Let me be the judge of that. :p You wish. ;p

In heaven, you get a stack of coupons sent in the mail every week but instead of only getting 20 cents off for say catfood, they all say, "100% off." Also, you get to places by waterslide. That actually sounds fantastic. Sign me up.

What, no piccies? Tease. ;p
Oh don't you worry i'll cut my wrists reall good and then my throat and bleed to death according to hallal custom.
You wish. ;p
I pray actually.:p

Oh don't you worry i'll cut my wrists reall good and then my throat and bleed to death according to hallal custom.That sounds....interesting, but is not quite what I was looking for. It might get you into heaven, though, thus magically ending the thread hijack and actually get us back on topic. :eek:
I pray actually.:pFor me to spare your retinas? :p

That sounds....interesting, but is not quite what I was looking for. It might get you into heaven, though, thus magically ending the thread hijack and actually get us back on topic. :eek:
No suicide would get me into hell which is where i'll be without your boobies.:p
For me to spare your retinas? :p
I've already got Kanabia's. ^_^

So I guess there's no chance of me getting a look? :p ;)
Because i interpreted that as TBD wanting me for her own devices.
Bad ego bad get down.:(
*Growls sternly*

Originally Posted by Desperate Measures
In heaven, you get a stack of coupons sent in the mail every week but instead of only getting 20 cents off for say catfood, they all say, "100% off." Also, you get to places by waterslide.I could live with that. *nod*

the only problem with this is that in our belief system cats are the devils spawn and as such they would be in hell what would you do with all that cat food as we'd have to buy it just for the bargain it is!

oooooooo decisions

Because i interpreted that as TBD wanting me for her own devices.
Bad ego bad get down.:(
*Growls sternly* Hah, I totally thought you'd meant that, but thought it'd be politer (not to mention less crushing to your ego) not to point out your misunderstanding. There, there. *pats & fluffles* *snickers a bit at your expense*
No suicide would get me into hell which is where i'll be without your boobies. Oh, enough with the sweet talking already. ;p
I've already got Kanabia's. ^_^ True, forgot about that. But you're out of luck - he didn't look. He's good like that. ;p

That actually sounds fantastic. Sign me up.
Well, first you have to accept the frozen burrito as the best midnight snack option. Then you must repent for laughing at people when they have fallen down unless it was under incredibly hilarious circumstances on which everyone (aside from the fallen) has agreed that it was simply too much to take.

Hah, I totally thought you'd meant that, but thought it'd be politer (not to mention less crushing to your ego) not to point out your misunderstanding. There, there. *pats & fluffles* *snickers a bit at your expense*
I am sure she does though even if hse didn't say it...
Oh, enough with the sweet talking already. ;p
:)
True, forgot about that. But you're out of luck - he didn't look. He's good like that. ;p
I didn't look either am i good like that?

Well, first you have to accept the frozen burrito as the best midnight snack option.
Check. If I'm allowed to let it thaw first, that is.

Then you must repent for laughing at people when they have fallen down unless it was under incredibly hilarious circumstances on which everyone (aside from the fallen) has agreed that it was simply too much to take.
Nah, sorry, no can do. I have this nervous tic where I laugh at people even if they just had a terrible accident. So yeah, sorry. *hands over frozen burrito* :(

I didn't look either am i good like that?No, you were just late. :p

The gods shall greet us the halls of Valhalla and there shall be a great welcoming feast, with lots of Saxon slave girls to be merry with after pints of ale and our fallen enemies blood

No, you were just late. :p
*Kisses*

The gods shall greet us the halls of Valhalla and there shall be a great welcoming feast, with lots of Saxon slave girls to be merry with after pints of ale and our fallen enemies blood
And the gay sex, don't forget the gay sex.

Check. If I'm allowed to let it thaw first, that is.


Nah, sorry, no can do. I have this nervous tic where I laugh at people even if they just had a terrible accident. So yeah, sorry. *hands over frozen burrito* :(
Microwaves are necessary and encouraged.

And as for the second, all you need to do is confess to somebody and they'll give you an allotment of the type of jelly beans which you do not like which you must eat as penance.

*Kisses*Aww. You can be surprisingly sweet.

*sends TG* :p

And as for the second, all you need to do is confess to somebody and they'll give you an allotment of the type of jelly beans which you do not like which you must eat as penance.Oh noes, not the ebil "buttered popcorn" jelly bean torture. :eek:

Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather go to hell.

And the gay sex, don't forget the gay sex.

Gay Viking Sex. The best kind. :)

Aww. You can be surprisingly sweet.

*sends TG* :p

Oh noes, not the ebil "buttered popcorn" jelly bean torture. :eek:

Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather go to hell.
Hell is where you sit in a bathtub with Adam Sandler with his acoustic guitar as he sings the Hannuka song over and over to you for eternity. (Idea courtesy of my friend.)

Gay Viking Sex. The best kind. :)
You know what those ceremonial Helmets were for.;)

Hell is where you sit in a bathtub with Adam Sandler with his acoustic guitar as he sings the Hannuka song over and over to you for eternity. (Idea courtesy of my friend.) Oh, but I actually kinda like Adam Sandler. Bring it on, I say. :p

Heaven? Who needs heaven when you can go to hell?

Oh, but I actually kinda like Adam Sandler. Bring it on, I say. :p
Sandler Worshipper! Heathen!

Well, Sandler is ok most of the time but just the idea of sitting with him in a bathtub as he sings that song at me: so close, so wet... so much...

Aww. You can be surprisingly sweet.

*sends TG* :p
-snipage-
If you sent me a TG, was it to Harlesburg or Harlsburg?:confused:

If you sent me a TG, was it to Harlesburg or Harlsburg?:confused:
Oh. I didn't really. :(

Now I feel bad. Maybe I will after all. Even though I have to watch soccer! All for you... *trudges off*

Because i interpreted that as TBD wanting me for her own devices.
Bad ego bad get down.:(
*Growls sternly*

So... I could have photos? ;)

Oh. I didn't really. :(

Now I feel bad. Maybe I will after all. Even though I have to watch soccer! All for you... *trudges off*
Fiend i thought you were bluffing! Lol
Dont 'have' to, i am off to watch the football.

So... I could have photos? ;)
AVRIO METHAVRIO.
Someday...

AVRIO METHAVRIO.
Someday...

Aww, not now? :(

They don't let old soldiers in, so it's not something I have to worry about. :)

Well if you are a noble Aryan warrior, and I believe you are...you can look forward to Valhalla, feasting with the gods on beer, Wiener schnitzel, and Kaffee mit Schlagobers. ;)

You know what those ceremonial Helmets were for.;)

Handlebars. :)

Handlebars. :)
I thought thats what their beards were for.:(

Aww, not now? :(
No.:(

Heaven is... well it's... heaven is... whatever Straughn tells me it is.

Heaven is... well it's... heaven is... whatever Straughn tells me it is.
+2

C'mere, sit on daddy's lap.
*pats*
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/870.gif

I have a technical manual, if you want to go over it. You have to be wearing ... er, the suit, though - for translation.

Heaven is here. Enjoy life while you can. Slack off.

For me Hell would be cold dark and noisy so I suppose heaven would be bright warm and quiet.

I only know that patent laws would not make the cut.

Your definition of heaven.

people who absolutely, definitely, without a doubt, like me and an eternal supply of dark chocolate hobnobs and alcohol and a beach. or... intense burning followed by the wind flowing through my molecules.

Heaven to me would a lake cabin, a dock with a heron sitting on the end who eats all the perch I catch. Maybe a dog. No one to bother me.

God

figment of imagination.
x1000

This (http://www.ruairirobinson.com/fiftypercentgrey.htm) is hell.

I want to meet Peter and Paul and talk with them about their missionary trips.

I want to see Christ, with my own eyes...

I want to eat a feast that goes on Forever.

I want to find out which one is better, AK or AR.

I want to see my heroes, and meet them.

And spend eternity with my God, that's fo shizzle yo.

I want to meet Peter and Paul and talk with them about their missionary trips.

I want to see Christ, with my own eyes...

I want to eat a feast that goes on Forever.

I want to find out which one is better, AK or AR.

I want to see my heroes, and meet them.

And spend eternity with my God, that's fo shizzle yo.
your god is snoop dogg?!