NationStates Jolt Archive

I've just read a bit of this thread: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=489449 and that seems to have got me thinking.

What is the point of marriage?I mean,nowadays,in the western world at least,it seems sex outside of marriage is not quite so shameful or even strange.In fact,it seems that not having sex when you're in a relationship,though you are not married,is looked upon as peculiar.

In the 'old days',marriage was the only time in a couple's relationship when a couple had sex.Now,sex outside of marriage is normal.Sorry,I'm repeating...What I mean is that people still get married for some reason.

It's not like it affects anything,except that perhaps the country you're living in will recognise you as a connected couple and therefore,you share everything equally,in terms of legality.Besides that,there's nothing much than just having that 'married' feeling hanging above your head.Hmm,mabye I've answered myself, but no matter.

So,what is the purpose of marriage?

To keep traditionalists happy?

It's a binding contract between two people that gives them certain rights and responsibilities to each other.

I've just read a bit of this thread: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=489449 and that seems to have got me thinking.

What is the point of marriage?I mean,nowadays,in the western world at least,it seems sex outside of marriage is not quite so shameful or even strange.In fact,it seems that not having sex when you're in a relationship,though you are not married,is looked upon as peculiar.

In the 'old days',marriage was the only time in a couple's relationship when a couple had sex.Now,sex outside of marriage is normal.Sorry,I'm repeating...What I mean is that people still get married for some reason.

It's not like it affects anything,except that perhaps the country you're living in will recognise you as a connected couple and therefore,you share everything equally,in terms of legality.Besides that,there's nothing much than just having that 'married' feeling hanging above your head.Hmm,mabye I've answered myself, but no matter.

So,what is the purpose of marriage?
Read up on the history of marriage--that bolded part is wayyyyyyy inaccurate.

So that Bridezillas can have huge, expensive weddings?

So that Bridezillas can have huge, expensive weddings?
I thought that was the reason.

Tax relief.

In my view, Marriage is really just a formalisation of a long-term commitment. While sex outside marriage is nowadays relatively normal, sex outside of concrete relationships is still frowned upon; some people simply like to stick rigidly to that and to wait until the formalities have been dealt with before getting down to business.

The purpose of marriage is for the participants to loudly proclaim their love for one another to an omnipotent god that already knew.

Read up on the history of marriage--that bolded part is wayyyyyyy inaccurate.

I'm shrugging.It's my opinion based on what I know about marriage.

Unless you can provide with me a counterexample...I don't see why it's so inaccurate.Oh yeah,it has to be from recent western history.And it has to have been viewed as normal at the time.

I've just read a bit of this thread: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=489449 and that seems to have got me thinking.

What is the point of marriage?I mean,nowadays,in the western world at least,it seems sex outside of marriage is not quite so shameful or even strange.In fact,it seems that not having sex when you're in a relationship,though you are not married,is looked upon as peculiar.

In the 'old days',marriage was the only time in a couple's relationship when a couple had sex.Now,sex outside of marriage is normal.Sorry,I'm repeating...What I mean is that people still get married for some reason.

It's not like it affects anything,except that perhaps the country you're living in will recognise you as a connected couple and therefore,you share everything equally,in terms of legality.Besides that,there's nothing much than just having that 'married' feeling hanging above your head.Hmm,mabye I've answered myself, but no matter.

So,what is the purpose of marriage?


That bugs me, why is it so wrong not to have sex in a relationship? Thats why so many relationships fail and there are so many single mothers, people put sex as more important than it should be.

That bugs me, why is it so wrong not to have sex in a relationship? Thats why so many relationships fail and there are so many single mothers, people put sex as more important than it should be.

People like having sex, that's why. I'm only going by what I've heard, but it seems as though it can deepen and strengthen loving relationships, if applied correctly.

That bugs me, why is it so wrong not to have sex in a relationship? Thats why so many relationships fail and there are so many single mothers, people put sex as more important than it should be.

I never said I myself beleived this necessarily.I just said many people tend to view it like that.

So,what is the purpose of marriage?

To shorten life expectancies. :D

*gets smacked by wife*

ow. :(

People like having sex, that's why. I'm only going by what I've heard, but it seems as though it can deepen and strengthen loving relationships, if applied correctly.



And thats why so many relationships fail, people base them on sex and when that is gone so is the relationship.

Ever heard of emotionless sex?

People like having sex, that's why. I'm only going by what I've heard, but it seems as though it can deepen and strengthen loving relationships, if applied correctly.

And there is the key part.

Incidentally, marriage, like sex, can deepend and strengthen loving relationships, if applied correctly. In both cases, it's sort of a declaration of love with a complete opening-up to the person and placing a lot of trust in the person to not leave, to be nice, etc.

So people can celebrate their love for one another before their friends and family...followed by a big party where the friends and family can open old emotional wounds in a deadly free-alcohol environment and dance like complete twits. :p


I think in the middle ages/"ye-olde-feudal-times" only the aristocracy/wealthy (would invariably be getting married for political/economic reasons) normally got formally married and ordinary people (ye-olde-peasants) usually had common-law marriages i.e. lived together like a married couple but sans papers and ceremony.

I suppose back in the day, (the ancient day), it was a way of saying whose woman was whose, so that you could be sure whose baby was whose.

(I heard of a sociological theory that was proposed by Friedrich Engels which said that people used to be sexually polygamous to the point that no link was ever drawn between sex and pregnancy, for that reason women were respected as their ability to produce children was magical. But then after men discovered that they were the catalyst for reproduction they invented patriarchy... I don't think much of that theory, it seems to place an awful lot of stupidity on behalf of ancient man, just thought I'd mention it.)

Later on, in the day of monotheistic absolutism, it was probably seen as a way of limiting sex and keeping everyone compliant to church law.

Nowadays... Marriage has lost most of its social underpinning, it sort of just means whatever you want to make of it really. Except for a minority who insist on keeping it a social issue.

So,what is the purpose of marriage?

I honestly have no idea.

There's no part of legal marriage that can't be accomplished without inviting the government into your personal life, except for the changes in tax status (depending on jurisdiction, either benefits or penalties), and I think those are grossly unfair anyway.

I'd much rather the government treated each of us as an individual and left our private lives private.

I thought in the Engles theory was that ancient man created a patriarchal/monogamous system because "property" had stated to exist and they wanted a system where only people who were definitely their offspring could inherit it (being pre DNA testing).

So people can celebrate their love for one another before their friends and family...followed by a big party where the friends and family can open old emotional wounds in a deadly free-alcohol environment and dance like complete twits. :p


I think in the middle ages/"ye-olde-feudal-times" only the aristocracy/wealthy (would invariably be getting married for political/economic reasons) normally got formally married and ordinary people (ye-olde-peasants) usually had common-law marriages i.e. lived together like a married couple but sans papers and ceremony.

But they still considered themselves 'married',no?They would call each other 'husband' and 'wife' or whatever they liked,right?

Next counterexample.

Marriage should be abolished.

But they still considered themselves 'married',no?They would call each other 'husband' and 'wife' or whatever they liked,right?

Next counterexample.

Yes they did. They had their own sort of ceremony type thingy.

Yes they did. They had their own sort of ceremony type thingy.

Like I said,next counter example.

The purpose of marriage is to keep your wife's brothers from beating the crap out of you after you knock her up.

ok pay attention to this. maybe jot it down for when the day comes when you are a dad and your 3 year old daughter says she intends to marry you when she grows up.


marriage is for the creation of a new family. you leave the family you were born into and create a new one with the person you marry. this is regardless of whether or not you ever have children together. when you marry, that marriage becomes your primary family.

thats why when your little girl asks to marry you you say you cant because you are already family.

I think this thread needs a poll

Why did you get married?

-For the wedding? So the Bride could wear a Pretty dress and celebrate your love with family and friends

-Social reasons? All your friends were married and you'd had a relationship for a few years and thought that it was something you ought to do.

-Religious reasons? to have your relationship blessed by God

-Financial reasons? Taxes

-Legal reasons? Child protection in the case of a breakup

So,what is the purpose of marriage?

In Britain it is so the woman can get divorced and screw the guy for his kids, wages, house, car, pension, future earnings........... need i go on?

Marriage is organized family building, so we're all not a bunch of bastards running around. It is also for stability, but mostly for a stable family life to raise children.

Marriage is organized family building, so we're all not a bunch of bastards running around. It is also for stability, but mostly for a stable family life to raise children.
You Can have monogamy without having marriage.

I've found that an increasing number of younger couples are giving up on marriage, and just living together in a monogomous long-term relationship without formal certification. Primarily, I think that marriage is mostly a traditional thing, and a great excuse to bring people together to get liquored up and act like fools in front of each other.

In my country, the purpose of marriage is whatever the couple in question chooses.

All kidding aside - imagine how you would feel if your folks told you they were getting a divorce but still intended to live together. Maybe even have another child... Anyone who lives in a household with both parents knows the value of a marriage.

All kidding aside - imagine how you would feel if your folks told you they were getting a divorce but still intended to live together. Maybe even have another child... Anyone who lives in a household with both parents knows the value of a marriage.

I actually advised my parents to do just that for tax reasons in about 1986. They thought I was crazy (I was 11), and they didn't listen to me.

But it would have been a good deal, financially. If they divorced, and agreed to give my father full custody, then he could hav hired my mother as a full-time housekeeper/nanny, paid her a salary, and deducted it himself.

There were significant tax savings to be had if they'd done it.

http://twinbabyoracles.com/goodparts/The%20Archdeansm.jpg

"...Wove, true wove, will fowwow you, forewver and ewver."

On a personal level, the purpose of marriage is so that two ordinarily normal people can fuck up each others lives, and the lives of their offspring, and have something to complain about and someone to complain to all the time. Key example: All your parents.

On a sociopolitical level, the purpose of marriage is so that people in general can fuck up each others lives and have some big issue to complain about and someone to complain about it to, all the time. Key example: The gay marriage debate.

Originally, marriage was to consolidate and stabilize resources. Then it was to control reproduction. In the first context, it worked reasonably well. In the second context it didn't work at all. Now, except for the tax breaks, it has no real purpose. It doesn't guarantee anything unless the people involved want to work at at. If people want to work at a relationship, the paperwork isn't necessary and if they don't work at it, all the paperwork in the world isn't going to help.

All kidding aside - imagine how you would feel if your folks told you they were getting a divorce but still intended to live together. Maybe even have another child... Anyone who lives in a household with both parents knows the value of a marriage.
Oh please. Yes, my poor, poor children...their parents have been together 10years, but all that is invalidated by the fact that their parents are not married to one another...:rolleyes:

Simply put, it was a way for society to keep men from sleeping around and not walk away from their offspring. Case closed!

Tax relief. Not in Canada, baby. Double income, higher bracket...less deductions...definately not a plus.

Tax relief.

In my view, Marriage is really just a formalisation of a long-term commitment. While sex outside marriage is nowadays relatively normal, sex outside of concrete relationships is still frowned upon; some people simply like to stick rigidly to that and to wait until the formalities have been dealt with before getting down to business.

Tax relief and sexual relief, then.

marriage is for the creation of a new family. you leave the family you were born into and create a new one with the person you marry. this is regardless of whether or not you ever have children together. when you marry, that marriage becomes your primary family.

thats why when your little girl asks to marry you you say you cant because you are already family.This is an excellent answer. Interesting.

Tax relief and sexual relief, then.

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts...

I've found that an increasing number of younger couples are giving up on marriage, and just living together in a monogomous long-term relationship without formal certification.
You're still making a commitment to someone. Some people feel the need to have a formal ceremony, others don't. Having a formal ceremony doesn't mean the relationship is 'safe' from breaking up...just like not having one doesn't guarantee a break up.

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts...

Right. People only do it if those peanuts are damn good, and the other amenities are there.

I will get married when I find a nice girl. Then I can get laid. Repeatedly. Like a screen door on a hurricane. Like a retard on a drum set. Like the fist of an angry...you get the idea. Until then I keep it in my pants, regardless of who walks beside me. I am expected to act like a man, not a manwhore who will screw anything with a pulse.

I will get married when I find a nice girl. Then I can get laid. Repeatedly. Like a screen door on a hurricane. Like a retard on a drum set. Like the fist of an angry...you get the idea.

See above.

You're thinking of the night you ASK her to marry you.

See above.

You're thinking of the night you ASK her to marry you.

Huh get laid repeatedly on the night I ask her?

Its a written agreement on paper that the wife and husband (or... husband/husband or wife/wife whatever the case may be.. ) pwn each other and they get rights and stuff.

Huh get laid repeatedly on the night I ask her?

Yep. She'll have a major freak on. You may not be able to walk right the next day.


It's like the old joke: that 1st year of marriage, put a penny into a jar every time you do it. For every time after the 2nd anniversary, take a penny out.

You'll never run out of pennies.

marriage is essentially a contract to grant certain rights and responsibilities...tax (in the US atleast...as Sinuhue has pointed out, that isn't true everywhere), next-of-kin, medical rights, insurance, etc.
From the happier pov, it is of symbolic importance, stating that you intend to love and honor eachother from that moment on. Personally, I don't think you need a wedding to feel that way and say it.

What is the Purpose of Marriage?

Its the only way a guy can get his underwear washed for free ?

Marriage exists so that companies that sell all that shit that women (and their mothers) insist on spending thousands of dollars on can stay in business. After all, if women weren't completely nutters they'd ealize that spending 10+K on a big f'ing party is no way to start a new life together, unless you're f'ing rich!

Oh, and its so a woman can claim legal ownership over a man, and so the police know where to return him when he inevitably does something terrifically stupid.

Marriage is so that one spouse(but not the other) can be unemployed without being considered a leach on society. If you're single and unemployed, you're considered a lazy sob(I'm getting called things for being unemployed and I'm not even legally an adult yet). If you are married and unemployed, you're the "stay-at-home" one.

Marriage is so that one spouse(but not the other) can be unemployed without being considered a leach on society. If you're single and unemployed, you're considered a lazy sob(I'm getting called things for being unemployed and I'm not even legally an adult yet). If you are married and unemployed, you're the "stay-at-home" one.

Avika, you are so right. Marriage is just an excuse not to work. Even nowadays, we have so many benefits from the government because finally we made government loving instead of something to be feared, especially in Europe. While I support marriage equality for all, we probably should just make marriage illegal, or at least have higher taxes for people who are in it. Children should be raised by experts so that we can ensure that they learn the latest in tolerance of all people. With marriage abolished, wymin will finally be equal to men, and people will be so much happier. Remember, marraige was established by men and the church, which has been dragging down society ever since the dark ages, until just recently.

The only good party you'll ever throw.

Marriage is there now for when the 'The Just' shalt rise up smoting and smiting all the hethens and marriage between one man and one woman will differentiate between the wicked and the rightous!

It's like the old joke: that 1st year of marriage, put a penny into a jar every time you do it. For every time after the 2nd anniversary, take a penny out.

You'll never run out of pennies.
Those jokes crack me up, but probably not for the right reason.

How stupid does a guy have to be, to marry a woman who doesn't even want to fuck him? How pathetic would he have to be, to need to bribe a woman with expensive jewelry just to get a pity screw, knowing full well that she's not going to be willing to put up with his fumbling advances for more than a year or two after marriage?

It entertains me to no end to think that there really are people stupid enough to marry under these circumstances, and that this model is "traditional" enough for there to be jokes about it...and then GAY MARRIAGE is portrayed as a threat to the stability of society.

I honestly have no idea.

There's no part of legal marriage that can't be accomplished without inviting the government into your personal life, except for the changes in tax status (depending on jurisdiction, either benefits or penalties), and I think those are grossly unfair anyway.

Agreed. Economic reasons and inheritance laws are the only remaining reason to get married (for me, religious people may have their own reasons.)

Agreed. Economic reasons and inheritance laws are the only remaining reason to get married (for me, religious people may have their own reasons.)
My only real reason to get married, at this point, is to please my lover. It would make a big difference to him, and makes no difference whatsoever to me, so if he pays for it and plans it then I will be willing to put on pretty clothes and stand around for a few hours. :)

How stupid does a guy have to be, to marry a woman who doesn't even want to fuck him?
Usually there are no problems in the beginning...and it's not always the woman who doesn't want to have sex anymore. I thought that everybody knew that usually new couples have more sex than old couples.

My only real reason to get married, at this point, is to please my lover. It would make a big difference to him, and makes no difference whatsoever to me, so if he pays for it and plans it then I will be willing to put on pretty clothes and stand around for a few hours. :)
:) Good enough. I'd say yes to my partner if he ever asked.

:) Good enough. I'd say yes to my partner if he ever asked.
And, I must admit, wedding parties can be pretty swell. Cocktail weenies, various cheeses, booze, giant cakes, yet more booze...to hell with getting married, let's just have a wedding every weekend!

And, I must admit, wedding parties can be pretty swell. Cocktail weenies, various cheeses, booze, giant cakes, yet more booze...to hell with getting married, let's just have a wedding every weekend!
I've been planning that...

Marriage is a contract between two people to pool their assets, share benefits such as health insurance (though some insurers allow non-married partners), and have some power of attorney over the other (which comes in handy when unavailable or incapacitated or whatnot). In the US there are some tax benefits to being married these days (though there used to be a penalty).

I think of marriage as a business merger between your two independent companies.

Marriage is about more than just emotion – which is why I think the divorce rate is so high. People fall in love and get married without thinking about long-term stability. Feelings change over time – that warm glow probably isn’t going to last forever. Which is also why you need to marry a friend rather than just someone who is great in bed.

Marriage is about more than just emotion – which is why I think the divorce rate is so high. People fall in love and get married without thinking about long-term stability. Feelings change over time – that warm glow probably isn’t going to last forever. Which is also why you need to marry a friend rather than just someone who is great in bed.
An excellent point. It is generally agreed that a great marriage will include love, but only the really naive among us would propose that love is all that is required to make a great marriage.

Marriage is the word for a union in which two people commit their lives to each other. This isn't to say that they are no longer individual, but that for many intents and purposes, they will now live as a single entity. Large decisions will no longer affect just one of them, but both, and both will be involved in the decision making. They are, at that point, family.

This doesn't need a ceremony or legal recognition. The ceremony is really more for everyone else - the family, friends, etc. It gives them a chance to participate in a huge life-decision you have already made. Legal recognition grants your union certain protections. It allows you to be legally family. It protects those things which you choose to do together. It allows you both to have full custody of your children. And so on....