NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,13319,102611,00.html

You couldn't make this up...

Clowns Sabotage Nuke Missile
Defense Tech | By Noah Shachtman | June 23, 2006

On Tuesday morning, a retired Catholic priest and two veterans put on clown suits, busted into a nuclear missile launch facility, and began beating the silo cover with hammers, in an attempt to take the Minuteman III missile off-line. Seriously.
The trio -- members of the Luck, Wisconsin group Nukewatch -- said the break-in was part of "a call for national repentance" for the Hiroshima and Nagaski A-bombings in 1945.

The activists used bolt-cutters to get into the E-9 Minuteman II facility, located just northwest of the White Shield, North Dakota. "Using a sledgehammer and household hammers, they disabled the lock on the personnel entry hatch that provides access to the warhead and they hammered on the silo lid that covers the 300 kiloton nuclear warhead," the group said in a statement. "The activists painted 'It's a sin to build a nuclear weapon' on the face of the 110-ton hardened silo cover and the peace activists poured their blood on the missile lid."

Not that they could have damaged a lid designed to take the pressure of a near-miss nuclear blast. But it does seem terribly silly.

What you dismiss as being 'silly' in this story I find remarkably brave. And selfless. And conscientious.

What you dismiss as being 'silly' in this story I find remarkably brave. And selfless. And conscientious.

And stupid, and un-thought-through, and kind of lame. Meaning I can think of far better ways to try to get rid of nukes than by hammering on the silo. It seems to me they were, among other things, far more liable to end up setting it off than making it useless...

I'm more concerned how two clowns and a priest managed to break into a missile silo and evade security long enough to paint a message and pour their own blood on the silo.

Edit: I'd also like to add "in broad daylight while their friends took pictures" to my concerns.

And stupid, and un-thought-through, and kind of lame. Meaning I can think of far better ways to try to get rid of nukes than by hammering on the silo. It seems to me they were, among other things, far more liable to end up setting it off than making it useless...
Get to work then, man.

I'm more concerned how two clowns and a priest managed to break into a missile silo and evade security long enough to paint a message and pour their own blood on the silo.

Sigged.

Get to work then, man.

Who said I wanted to get rid of nukes?

Who said I wanted to get rid of nukes?
I'll give you five bucks.

And stupid, and un-thought-through, and kind of lame. Meaning I can think of far better ways to try to get rid of nukes than by hammering on the silo. It seems to me they were, among other things, far more liable to end up setting it off than making it useless...

One assumes that - since the article claims two of the individuals were veterans, they probably KNEW hammers are not the tools for getting-to, or disarming, nuclear devices.

One assumes, therefore, that the act was symbolic (the hammers were for 'real use' on locks) - and designed to draw attention.

Which it did.

And, no one gets hurt. Sound like a 'win'?

I'll give you five bucks.


Will vandalise nuclear weapons for food.

Will vandalise nuclear weapons for food.
I'm betting Lincoln's mug might provide some motivation.

Sigged.

Woohoo! First sigworthy post!

Great. More clowns looking for WMD's.

I'm more concerned how two clowns and a priest managed to break into a missile silo and evade security long enough to paint a message and pour their own blood on the silo.

Edit: I'd also like to add "in broad daylight while their friends took pictures" to my concerns.
Oh shit, time to cover up the news, otherwise we mgiht give the terrorists ideas because they might be stupid enough to think we have real security at our nuclear missile launch sites.

Edit: Apparently, they are the fastest priest and clown trio ever to meet a joke:
Guards responded within minutes. And when they arrived, the protesters "ate a lot of gravel," DefenseTech was told.
Within minutes of what? They used bolt cutters to get through a fence, broke a lock to a silo with a fucking hammer, painted something on the side of the silo, and spilt their own blood on the silo cover? Maybe it was just within minutes of the end of their lunch break.

Within minutes of what? They used bolt cutters to get through a fence, broke a lock to a silo with a fucking hammer, painted something on the side of the silo, and spilt their own blood on the silo cover? Maybe it was just within minutes of the end of their lunch break.
They want to make it sound like it was 5 minutes, and they were all brave, heroic and professional. As opposed to what it actually was, probably half an hour or so. :rolleyes:

And stupid, and un-thought-through, and kind of lame. Meaning I can think of far better ways to try to get rid of nukes than by hammering on the silo. It seems to me they were, among other things, far more liable to end up setting it off than making it useless...

You can't accidentally set off a nuclear warhead by banging on it. It is not impact that makes a nuclear bomb go off.

Great. More clowns looking for WMD's.

The difference is, the faith-based initiative of these clowns actually located some WMD's :D

man, if I was the officer of that silo, I would have opened the silo doors and fired that sucker off. Watch em get roasted by the missile start! lol!
MMMMMm fried clowns....

You can't accidentally set off a nuclear warhead by banging on it. It is not impact that makes a nuclear bomb go off.

You mean cartoons lied to me?

And I imagine LG is responsible, where is he?

hehheh, that would have been hilarious had it gone off!
dumbasses vaporizing themselves!

It is a bit unnerving that it is that easy to sneak into a nuclear missle silo and have so much time with it. What if they had explosives?

i imagine news like this will embolden terrorist. perhaps that is the plan - it is a fake news story - luring flies with honey and such.

From what I can tell they cut the lock on the fence, ran across an open area and got to a big metal cover on the silo. They didn't gain access to the silo itself nor cause any real damage.

These things were designed to be safe against nearby nuclear impacts (as a previous poster pointed out). I strongly suspect they're designed to handle more targeted impacts, like precision bombs or shelling as well.

I have good faith in the security of missile silos. They are not "protected by a measly fence", the fence is there more to mark the US property and the kill-line than anything else. The real security is in the silo. There are only a few ways in and they're all closely guarded, locked, etc etc.

Honestly with all the terrorist issues I'm surprised they weren't shot. This isn't something like getting lost at the Wright-Patterson museum and wandering on to the base, this is a fenced in location with a lot of signs promising nasty things to trespassers. Then again, I find dead clowns funny as all hell.

From what I can tell they cut the lock on the fence, ran across an open area and got to a big metal cover on the silo. They didn't gain access to the silo itself nor cause any real damage.

These things were designed to be safe against nearby nuclear impacts (as a previous poster pointed out). I strongly suspect they're designed to handle more targeted impacts, like precision bombs or shelling as well.

I have good faith in the security of missile silos. They are not "protected by a measly fence", the fence is there more to mark the US property and the kill-line than anything else. The real security is in the silo. There are only a few ways in and they're all closely guarded, locked, etc etc.

Honestly with all the terrorist issues I'm surprised they weren't shot. This isn't something like getting lost at the Wright-Patterson museum and wandering on to the base, this is a fenced in location with a lot of signs promising nasty things to trespassers. Then again, I find dead clowns funny as all hell.

But then the whiners on TV will come out and cry, "Oh why did the evil soldiers on guard kill those poor peace protestors? They should be court marshaled and sent to prison. Boo-hoo-hooo!"
Then the Pentagon would have to get involved and the ACLU and Lord knows who else and investigate the shootings, and if they were justified.
Boy would the super-libs (<---notice I said super-libs, not all of them) go apeshit on the military some more.

People cant read signs and apparently they dont understand, Warning: Trespassers will be shot, survivors, shot again.

Those idiots were lucky they didn't each get a 5.56mm massage.

Great. More clowns looking for WMD's.
Sigged

Those idiots were lucky they didn't each get a 5.56mm massage.
The guards were lucky they were just fucking clowns instead of some one dangerous.

If it's that bad in the USA imagine how the security holds up in Russia!

*fears nuclear annihilation*

In Soviet Russia, clowns guard you!

Meh, I hate clowns. Let them die for all I care.

In Soviet Russia, clowns guard you!

haha, Russian Reversal, you get ten points.

What you dismiss as being 'silly' in this story I find remarkably brave. And selfless. And conscientious.


especially if they found a way to accidently set it off and kill afew hundred thousand people .


My question is ..why were they not shot by someone who should be guarding a missle capable of killing hundreds of thousads of people ?
And what does that say about our homeland security if a bunch of clowns can get to a minuteman fucking miisile ?

Why clowns? Why not hippies or Klingons or emos...

And what does that say about our homeland security if a bunch of clowns can get to a minuteman fucking miisile ?

A "minuteman fucking missle"? If only the Brits had had those 230 years ago, there would be no US, we'd all have been too scared of the "perversion". :p

A "minuteman fucking missle"? If only the Brits had had those 230 years ago, there would be no US, we'd all have been too scared of the "perversion". :p
Not all Americans have perverse grammar. I am of the US and I have studied both American and British grammar.

Sigged

Yay!

What the hell kind of clowns were these?!? This isn't funny!

Well, it's a little funny. :p

What the hell kind of clowns were these?!? This isn't funny!

Well, it's a little funny. :p
They're the mime kind of funny. Not the clown kind.

I'm more concerned how two clowns and a priest managed to break into a missile silo and evade security long enough to paint a message and pour their own blood on the silo.

Edit: I'd also like to add "in broad daylight while their friends took pictures" to my concerns.

Clowns have natural stealth capabilities. The fact that they got caught at all is due to the fact that they weren't real clowns. *nod*

But then the whiners on TV will come out and cry, "Oh why did the evil soldiers on guard kill those poor peace protestors? They should be court marshaled and sent to prison. Boo-hoo-hooo!"
Then the Pentagon would have to get involved and the ACLU and Lord knows who else and investigate the shootings, and if they were justified.
Boy would the super-libs (<---notice I said super-libs, not all of them) go apeshit on the military some more.

People cant read signs and apparently they dont understand, Warning: Trespassers will be shot, survivors, shot again.
Are you the type that calls people who are for peace unwilling to put their lives on the line?

You mean cartoons lied to me?

And I imagine LG is responsible, where is he?

If I were involved, I guarantee that I would've got further than the blast doors. I'd be dry humping a missile. :D Oh, and the blood part is just icky. That's what pies are for.

Those clowns sucked. :p

Meh, I hate clowns. Let them die for all I care.

:eek:

:(

They're the mime kind of funny. Not the clown kind.

Have you ever heard a mime speak? There's a reason they don't talk. Because when they do, they swear like wounded sailors. *nod*

Have you ever heard a mime speak? There's a reason they don't talk. Because when they do, they swear like wounded sailors. *nod*\


What would happen to a mime that had tourettes syndrome ?

\


What would happen to a mime that had tourettes syndrome ?

YOu mean how could you tell?

Um... They'd twitch.

Not all Americans have perverse grammar. I am of the US and I have studied both American and British grammar.


Well have a nice big peanut butter cookie !


OOOOOPS I should have said; a large , rather nice , peanut butter cookie..??

Ummmm ok how about ...

So her'es a fucking nice cookie made from peanuts . Or is it a nice fucking cookie that I should have written about ?

Well have a nice big penut butter cookie !


OOOOOPS i ment a large , rather nice , penut butter cookie..??

Ummmm ok how about ...

So her'es a fucking nice cookie made from peanuts or is it nice fucking cookie ?

...

You also spelled peanut wrong.:p

YOu mean how could you tell?

Um... They'd twitch.


can you imagine how confusing a twitching mime could be ? how would you tell ?

...

You also spelled peanut wrong.:p


Thats why they have an edit function for us illiterates...:D


I blame the nuns for not punishing me enough . I'm a bad boy I must be spanked ,:eek: preferably by a penguin.:D

Why clowns? Why not hippies or Klingons or emos...
You've been sigged.

http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,13319,102611,00.html
that's awesome! good on them. but it's worrying how easily they were able to access the missile silo just using bolt cutters and hammers.

Hey.......

I've worn clown make-up and broken into a room and beat on something metal with wrenches.....
Of course that was after an ICP concert, and it was a garage with somebodys car in it......





BUT STILL! I did'nt make the press....

Does anyone else find it ironic they portray themselves as the clowns opposed to the government?

Does anyone else find it ironic they portray themselves as the clowns opposed to the government?

That's because the government is fun-hating and oppresive! Just out of curiosity, did any of the clowns have green hair and a purple suit?

Hey.......

I've worn clown make-up and broken into a room and beat on something metal with wrenches.....
Of course that was after an ICP concert, and it was a garage with somebodys car in it......





BUT STILL! I did'nt make the press....

I bet if you picked he right garage and car, you would have. :)

If you're going to protest nukes, do it somewhere that people will see you. Not out in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota.

If you're going to protest nukes, do it somewhere that people will see you. Not out in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota.
Yupp, pick the nuke conveinently placed in the middle of NYC.:rolleyes: :p

One assumes that - since the article claims two of the individuals were veterans, they probably KNEW hammers are not the tools for getting-to, or disarming, nuclear devices.

One assumes, therefore, that the act was symbolic (the hammers were for 'real use' on locks) - and designed to draw attention.

Which it did.

And, no one gets hurt. Sound like a 'win'?

They could have done without the clown outfits.

They could have done without the clown outfits.
Which makes it all the more symbolic. Clowns stand out. It's a point made to demonstrate how security needs to be tightened.

They could have done without the clown outfits.
The clown outfits might've kept them from getting shot. Who knows what would've happened if they were in camo or wearing ski masks?

If you're going to protest nukes, do it somewhere that people will see you. Not out in the middle of nowhere in North Dakota.
Somehow, the news got to us.

especially if they found a way to accidently set it off and kill afew hundred thousand people .

You can't accidentally set off a nuclear missile, especially if it's a fusion one. There's too many safeguards.

...And who said clowns weren't intelligent?

Which makes it all the more symbolic. Clowns stand out. It's a point made to demonstrate how security needs to be tightened.

They could have been naked, young, good looking women (oh, I forgot, they are old men).

The naked woman thing would have gotten better coverage, so to speak.

Well, good thing that Iran will at least have an incentive to provide proper security for its nukes.

Well, good thing that Iran will at least have an incentive to provide proper security for its nukes.

If you consider that there's no way to get into a missile silo, even if you brought backpacks full of explosives and cutting torches, you don't really need to guard the silo that well.

It's even harder to get into a LCC.

The guards can take their time driving out to your location, and can even let you try for a while, just so you feel you are doing well.

Not that they could have damaged a lid designed to take the pressure of a near-miss nuclear blast. But it does seem terribly silly.

I'm very suprised that the people monitering it didn't just activate the defensive guns. Maybe because the guys inside were too busy laughing at how stupid these clowns are. And 200 Rounds would end the laughter forever.

Yupp, pick the nuke conveinently placed in the middle of NYC.:rolleyes: :p
Hold up a sign, hold up pictures.

Go to the National Air and Space Museum, they've got a Pershing II Missile on display there. Or perhaps go to Dayton to the Air Force Museum, where they've got Bocks Car. They've also got one of the Minuteman III Mobile Missile Vehicles there. Or perhaps on the national mall. Not in the middle of an empty field. That accomplishes nothing.

especially if they found a way to accidently set it off and kill afew hundred thousand people .


I think people around here watch too many James Bond movies....

But then - perhaps this degree of naivete is a good thing for national security...

They could have done without the clown outfits.

But - clowns rock!

And... a clown costume is kind of like a white-flag, it's a way of saying, "I'm makling a point, but no one is getting hurt... so don't shoot me".

Unless you are Bill Murray. :)

But - clowns rock!

And... a clown costume is kind of like a white-flag, it's a way of saying, "I'm makling a point, but no one is getting hurt... so don't shoot me".

Unless you are Bill Murray. :)
Clowns suck, so shoot them all you want. Use them for target practice.

Clowns suck, so shoot them all you want. Use them for target practice.

Did you have an unfortunate childhood experience with a clown or something... ?

Did you have an unfortunate childhood experience with a clown or something... ?
...
yes
... :(

I'm more concerned how two clowns and a priest managed to break into a missile silo and evade security long enough to paint a message and pour their own blood on the silo.

Edit: I'd also like to add "in broad daylight while their friends took pictures" to my concerns.
it said withing minutes. so one with a can of spraypaint, the other with a couple packets of blood, and the third with the hammer.

AH CRAAP! I'm just pissed now. :sniper: yeah. < that pissed.
I'd expect a Catholic priest to know better. What an IDIOT. He's devaluing the word sin...Idiot...:headbang:

What kind of stupid son of a bitch hits a fucking nuclear bomb with a sledge hammer? And how did a bunch of idiots dressed as clowns get within 500 feet of it?

What kind of stupid son of a bitch hits a fucking nuclear bomb with a sledge hammer? And how did a bunch of idiots dressed as clowns get within 500 feet of it?
Two were vets, so they probably had some "inside" help, I'm assuming.

Two were vets, so they probably had some "inside" help, I'm assuming.
well, if thats true, then that guy will have to have his balls cut off and roasted in the missile silo!

What kind of stupid son of a bitch hits a fucking nuclear bomb with a sledge hammer? And how did a bunch of idiots dressed as clowns get within 500 feet of it?
They got near "the lid".

The lid weighs quite a bit - it can't be moved or altered by hand. It is designed to stay in place even if there is a nearby nuclear blast.

It's like spraypainting and hammering on the Rock of Gibraltar, in a clown suit.

Ok, I'll buy the clown suit as a defense against being shot.

Not that they could have damaged a lid designed to take the pressure of a near-miss nuclear blast. But it does seem terribly silly.
Of course it's terribly silly. It was clowns! That's what clowns do. Terribly silly things. What did you expect?

I think we've found some good pals for our resident NS clown, LG.

The guards were lucky they were just fucking clowns instead of some one dangerous.
Ohh...so that's what the guards were doing while this trio was attacking the silo.

well, if thats true, then that guy will have to have his balls cut off and roasted in the missile silo!then forced to eat em...

Ohh...so that's what the guards were doing while this trio was attacking the silo.

Missile silos and their LCCs are incredible distances apart, due to the design that prevents a single nuclear warhead from landing on more than one of them.

Guards are NOT on location at the missile silo. They ride around in trucks, and sit in a guard house miles away.

They rely on sensors placed around the silo to tell them someone is messing with it.

The silo itself is designed so that no human (with any explosive or torch they could carry) could damage it or enter it.