NationStates Jolt Archive


Tales of the landscaper

DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 07:13
So we pulled the box truck into Taipan today to eat lunch (11 hour shift, gots to eat carbon matter!). I ate way more than was necessary, but since I'm a short and skinny guy I can get away with it.

I had just gotten up to grab another plate of sesame chicken when a man tapped me on my shoulder and said "I find your shirt offensive".

Without thinking I grabbed another peice of sesame chicken while saying,
"I think the same of your face "

He turned around, blushed, and went and sat down next to his GF/wife/misstress and finished eating his dinner.

DAYUM! I think I killed someone's dinner.
Fishyguy
24-06-2006, 07:21
Without thinking I grabbed another peice of sesame chicken while saying,
"I think the same of your face "

Gutsy! So I have to ask, what did your shirt look like? Did it have writing or a picture that wasn't suitable?
Tropical Sands
24-06-2006, 07:21
What did the shirt say?
Ginnoria
24-06-2006, 07:23
This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.
Maraque
24-06-2006, 07:23
What did he expect you to do by telling you your shirt is offensive? And, what did it say?
Deadrot Gulch
24-06-2006, 07:27
You could cut the suspense with a knife.
Free shepmagans
24-06-2006, 07:30
You could cut the suspense with a knife.
*does*
Deadrot Gulch
24-06-2006, 07:33
I love a good sliced-suspense sandwich with swiss.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 07:43
Gutsy! So I have to ask, what did your shirt look like? Did it have writing or a picture that wasn't suitable?


It's incredibly politically in-correct.

I might post it.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 07:45
ETA: This does not involve anything border patrol marked. The person involved IS a legal US citizen. The individual was NOT a minority-black, white red, green yellow, mexican, black, asian, etc.

(For Dobbs)
IL Ruffino
24-06-2006, 07:48
It's incredibly politically in-correct.

I might post it.
I'm proud of you :fluffle:

Pwease post what the shirt says!
Fishyguy
24-06-2006, 08:00
It's incredibly politically in-correct.

I might post it.
Please do, I'm on the edge of my seat!
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:02
I'm proud of you :fluffle:

Pwease post what the shirt says!

Well, you fluffled me...:eek:

Alas, live and let live. I wish I had been fluffled by you earler rather than fluffled by poison ivy.

I'm looking for a picture of it....dangit I bought it from a well known site but I can't find it now...
The South Islands
24-06-2006, 08:05
Well, you fluffled me...:eek:

Alas, live and let live. I wish I had been fluffled by you earler rather than fluffled by poison ivy.

I'm looking for a picture of it....dangit I bought it from a well known site but I can't find it now...

This shirt best be worth missing vital sleeps.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:07
I dunno...
IL Ruffino
24-06-2006, 08:07
Well, you fluffled me...:eek:

Alas, live and let live. I wish I had been fluffled by you earler rather than fluffled by poison ivy.

I'm looking for a picture of it....dangit I bought it from a well known site but I can't find it now...
*starts itching*

crap..

hurry and find it

*pokes repedidly*

..er.. yes, hm.
The South Islands
24-06-2006, 08:08
I dunno...

If you don't post it, I'll spam your TG box with naked pictures of David Hasselhoff.
Fishyguy
24-06-2006, 08:11
naked pictures of David Hasselhoff.
Wouldn't work, that was probably what was on the shirt to begin with. :eek:
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:11
http://www.lifelibertyetc.com/product.aspx?pid=14

It was one of these.
IL Ruffino
24-06-2006, 08:11
If you don't post it, I'll spam your TG box with naked pictures of David Hasselhoff.
Put me on that list too..

I've been craving him for quite some time now.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:12
If you don't post it, I'll spam your TG box with naked pictures of David Hasselhoff.

You win.
IL Ruffino
24-06-2006, 08:13
http://www.lifelibertyetc.com/product.aspx?pid=14

It was one of these.
awww i was expecting tshirt hell :(

still, :fluffle:
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:14
Put me on that list too..

I've been craving him for quite some time now.

Who's david hasselhoff or however you say his name?

:eek:

Pictures of naked men don't bode well for a good night of sleepfor DM.
The South Islands
24-06-2006, 08:14
http://www.lifelibertyetc.com/product.aspx?pid=14

It was one of these.

...

That's it? A dude took the time to hassle you about a damn AR-15?

What is this world comming to?
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:14
awww i was expecting tshirt hell :(

still, :fluffle:

Well...there is the one that says "One millin immigration rights marchers, one car" one I am going to get.

T shirt hell IS flatout offensive,even to me.
The South Islands
24-06-2006, 08:15
Who's david hasselhoff or however you say his name?

:eek:

Pictures of naked men don't bode well for a good night of sleepfor DM.
David Hasselhoff is God.
Fishyguy
24-06-2006, 08:15
"Molon Labe"
I'm not sure what that is, but I don't find the shirt offensive. There's a gun on it, but unless you were taking lunch in an elementary school cafeteria I don't get any beef he had.

And it's 100% cotton, who could take offense to that kind of craftsmanship?
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:15
...

That's it? A dude took the time to hassle you about a damn AR-15?

What is this world comming to?


Beats me. Over in the UK someone saw a kid playing with an airsoft gun and called the police-they DN'ed the house. WTF? Over.

Kids these days :rolleyes:
IL Ruffino
24-06-2006, 08:18
Who's david hasselhoff or however you say his name?

:eek:

Pictures of naked men don't bode well for a good night of sleepfor DM.
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/media-pictures/david-hasselhoff.jpg
The South Islands
24-06-2006, 08:19
I'm not sure what that is, but I don't find the shirt offensive. There's a gun on it, but unless you were taking lunch in an elementary school cafeteria I don't get any beef he had.

And it's 100% cotton, who could take offense to that kind of craftsmanship?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Molon_labe
The South Islands
24-06-2006, 08:20
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/media-pictures/david-hasselhoff.jpg

His Hasselhoffness has arrived.

*worships*
IL Ruffino
24-06-2006, 08:25
His Hasselhoffness has arrived.

*worships*
*joins*
Kanabia
24-06-2006, 08:26
I'm not going to bother reading the thread, but let me guess the shirt title, something REAL TOUGH like "Die, Spic", hey?

DM, it wasn't funny to start with and it's old now. Drop the act.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:27
I'm not sure what that is, but I don't find the shirt offensive. There's a gun on it, but unless you were taking lunch in an elementary school cafeteria I don't get any beef he had.

And it's 100% cotton, who could take offense to that kind of craftsmanship?

I guess the part in fine print about "protect the 2nd amendment against all enemies, foreign and domestic" Got to him. :)

No sweat off of me.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:33
http://www.boreme.com/boreme/media-pictures/david-hasselhoff.jpg

I feel somewhat violated....:eek:

Ahwell, I've seen worse in the lockerroom and in my dorms. Much worse. Like a human pyramid made up of 13 guys wearing nothing but...a washcloth. Err, actually the correct term would have been a loincloth. Then there's the time I was sleeping and a guy came in and jumped on me screaming VROOM VROOM VROOM! RACE CAR RACE CAR RACE CAR!


I'm not going to bother reading the thread, but let me guess the shirt title, something REAL TOUGH like "Die, Spic", hey?

DM, it wasn't funny to start with and it's old now. Drop the act.

Read the thread, oh mighty slacker. You are so much like the hand dryer at work. Press a button,wind him up, and listen to the hot air.

:rolleyes:
Fishyguy
24-06-2006, 08:34
Thanks for the link TSI

I guess the part in fine print about "protect the 2nd amendment against all enemies, foreign and domestic" Got to him.
Ah, I didn't see that part, that changes everything. :rolleyes:
The Mindset
24-06-2006, 08:34
Pfft. I wear my "forget the condom, the AIDS will kill the baby" tshirt and I've never got a complaint yet.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:36
Pfft. I wear my "forget the condom, the AIDS will kill the baby" tshirt and I've never got a complaint yet.


Scotland man..they riot over soccer over there. Nothing short of making fun of the local team is considered offensive!
Fishyguy
24-06-2006, 08:36
I wear my "forget the condom, the AIDS will kill the baby" tshirt and I've never got a complaint yet.

How horrible, yet hilarious. You are a much braver soul than I.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 08:37
Thanks for the link TSI


Ah, I didn't see that part, that changes everything. :rolleyes:

It's in fine print. Did this guy use his salt shaker as a scope to see the back of my shirt? DADGUM!
Kanabia
24-06-2006, 08:39
Read the thread, oh mighty slacker. You are so much like the hand dryer at work. Press a button,wind him up, and listen to the hot air.

:rolleyes:
OK, I read it. I also found an a description of you elsewhere. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=internet+tough+guy)
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 09:06
OK, I read it. I also found an a description of you elsewhere. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=internet+tough+guy)

Holy smokes! EGADS! OH NOES!!1111!!!! I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT11!!!!11!!!! Let me tell you, there is a lot of muscle on this 5-11 150 lb frame..yes....enough to push cars up steep hills tippy toeing..yep...

Molon Labe-not just a catch 3000 year old statement by 301 dead Greeks, it's a promise.

ETA: After reading the link..

I'LL BET YOU WON'T SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

:p
Kanabia
24-06-2006, 09:16
ETA: After reading the link..

I'LL BET YOU WON'T SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

:p

I'd like to. :p
SHAOLIN9
24-06-2006, 11:59
OK, I read it. I also found an a description of you elsewhere. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=internet+tough+guy)

*LOL*

Gotta respect the truth!

p.s I trawled through this thread to find that the suspense wasn't worth it. Man I was hoping for a funny T-shirt.

I got one that says:

DRUGS

We've lost the war.... LETS PARTY!!!!!

which I find highly amusing though I'm anti-substance use.
:D
SHAOLIN9
24-06-2006, 12:02
Pfft. I wear my "forget the condom, the AIDS will kill the baby" tshirt and I've never got a complaint yet.

:p Gotta love it!
BackwoodsSquatches
24-06-2006, 12:27
You like guns, thats great...

But instead of merely shrugging off some bozo who didnt like your shirt, you had to be a dickhead, and prove him right about you, by insulting him.

Good show...Im sure Uncle Sam, and his gun toting Second Amendment Squad would be proud of you.
DesignatedMarksman
24-06-2006, 22:28
*LOL*

Gotta respect the truth!

p.s I trawled through this thread to find that the suspense wasn't worth it. Man I was hoping for a funny T-shirt.

I got one that says:

DRUGS

We've lost the war.... LETS PARTY!!!!!

which I find highly amusing though I'm anti-substance use.
:D

I had one that said "Say NO to pugs!" with a cross/circle over a picture of a pug. Too bad I gave it away before I left due to space issues.
Gravlen
24-06-2006, 22:36
http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/7633/hasselhofflove7qq.jpg
Gartref
24-06-2006, 22:43
http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/7633/hasselhofflove7qq.jpg

Did ya see the size of that dog's tongue?
Gravlen
24-06-2006, 22:49
"The Hoff"...
The Man, The Myth... The American Treasure (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ys-cQdu1P4&search=Hasselhoff%20Looking%20for%20freedom)

You don't know who he is, and you call yourself... Well, probably a lot of things. But since you don't know who he is I have no choice but to apologize and to do this again:

:eek:
COMMIE!!!

*Flees*
Celtlund
24-06-2006, 22:56
http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/7633/hasselhofflove7qq.jpg

Be careful, you might get some male NSer all excited with pictures like this. :eek:
Celtlund
24-06-2006, 22:57
Did ya see the size of that dog's tongue?

ROFLMAO :p :p :D
Celtlund
24-06-2006, 23:02
"The Hoff"...
The Man, The Myth... The American Treasure (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ys-cQdu1P4&search=Hasselhoff%20Looking%20for%20freedom)

You don't know who he is, and you call yourself... Well, probably a lot of things. But since you don't know who he is I have no choice but to apologize and to do this again:

:eek:
COMMIE!!!

*Flees*

Thanks. I love the music but the video reminds me of the “Dukes of Hazard.”
Teh_pantless_hero
24-06-2006, 23:03
Gutsy! So I have to ask, what did your shirt look like? Did it have writing or a picture that wasn't suitable?
Yet another half-written story by DesignatedMarksman. My advice to him: Don't quite your day job.

Pro-gun activists, devalueing phrases since 1925.
Gravlen
24-06-2006, 23:12
Thanks. I love the music but the video reminds me of the “Dukes of Hazard.”
"Knight Rider" *nods* :p
DesignatedMarksman
25-06-2006, 01:32
Maybe I should have worn my "Vote from the rooftops" shirt instead :D