NationStates Jolt Archive

So, I'm incredibly bored at the moment, and thought people would enjoy creating conspiracy theories every day, hence this thread. I know I love discussing conspiracy theories for the sheer hilarity they can often bring. So...here's the one for today:

Ann Coulter and Randy Rhodes: The same person?

They look almost identical. A skilled make-up artist could easily alter their face to be one aspect or the other. Ann Coulter spends her time ranting so much about Democrats and liberals(American definition), while Randy Rhodes does the exact same, only about Republicans and conservatives(again, American definition.) Ann Coulter is often featured on talk radio--Randy Rhodes has her own show on Air America. Their voices are nigh identical. A wee bit of chemicals and the one person could switch between the two. Both essentially worship the party they affiliate with and the leaders of that party. And they absolutely LOATHE each other. So, they must be the same person! Discuss.

Ooh. Here's mine for today.

Jesus didn't die on that cross. Jesus got exchanged, shortly before the crucifixion, with a look a-like. This explains Peter's betrayal, as well as how Jesus survived. The body was placed in the cave. Why do you think there were Roman soldiers guarding the tomb? They didn't want anyone getting a good look at the corpse.

Jesus got spirited away, and got those holes put in his hands. Yeah, I'll admit he was tough, but not divine.

Oh, and Judas didn't hang himself. He got killed because he knew too much. Take that, Dan Brown.

Ooh. Here's mine for today.

Jesus didn't die on that cross. Jesus got exchanged, shortly before the crucifixion, with a look a-like. This explains Peter's betrayal, as well as how Jesus survived. The body was placed in the cave. Why do you think there were Roman soldiers guarding the tomb? They didn't want anyone getting a good look at the corpse.

Jesus got spirited away, and got those holes put in his hands. Yeah, I'll admit he was tough, but not divine.

Oh, and Judas didn't hang himself. He got killed because he knew too much. Take that, Dan Brown.
You're forgetting that he indulged in a lot of gay sex on the side. Poor Mary Magdelene...always neglected in the orgies. It's why her Gospel wasn't deemed canon, you know, because it was mostly full of rants about how she didn't get the sex she wanted.

You're forgetting that he indulged in a lot of gay sex on the side. Poor Mary Magdelene...always neglected in the orgies. It's why her Gospel wasn't deemed canon, you know, because it was mostly full of rants about how she didn't get the sex she wanted.

Yeah, well, what goes happens in Rome stays in Rome. ;)

So, I'm incredibly bored at the moment, and thought people would enjoy creating conspiracy theories every day, hence this thread. I know I love discussing conspiracy theories for the sheer hilarity they can often bring.



America loses in the World Cup on purpose every year so the rest of the world won't hate us even more.

America loses in the World Cup on purpose every year so the rest of the world won't hate us even more.

And R0cka gets, like, a pet hamster or something for coming up with the first plausible conspiracy theory in the thread. Only it isn't really, because if we were trying to lose, we'd try to make it look like we weren't trying to, which would mean playing more than one striker. Or maybe Arena is stupider than I thought... ;)

America loses in the World Cup on purpose every year so the rest of the world won't hate us even more.
America loses in the world cup every year because they think they're playing football.

America loses in the World Cup on purpose every year so the rest of the world won't hate us even more.
Conspiracy theories have to be a tiny bit plausable. UFO bases on the dark side of the moon, fine. Jupiter is a sentient being and is communicating with ham radio operators, mainly telling filthy jokes about nuns, ok. The World cup being held every year, no way. Americ loses on purpose ... in soccer, mwahh ha, yeahhh.

All these conspiracies are just part of the bigger government conspiracy to distract us from what they're really doing. If we're worried about UFOs, Bigfoot, Gay Marriage and so on, we aren't paying attention to the war in Iraq, taxes and the erosion of our Constitutional rights and protections.

When I saw "Randy Rhodes" I immediately thought of this guy

http://home.flash.net/~ulknatme/may04.jpg

edit: And I know his name is spelled "Rhoads" before anyone jumps on that.

Dishwasher soap flakes contain trace amounts of deadly chemicals that will give you cancer.

The Fluffle smiley was *supposedly* (lets just assume) made by Jolt... OR WAS IT?!

It was really created by a secret Ambassadorship called Fluffles Against Nuclear Armageddon (FANA), but they allowed Jolt to use it to spread the international love...

:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Never saw conspiracy theories regarding fluffles, didja? :eek:

The United States government is hiding something big.

Kyronea is actually a secret government agent sent to spy on NSG and add some of you to the terrorist watchlist. :cool:

Just teasing, of course.

Yeah, well, what goes happens in Rome stays in Rome. ;)
Except, of course, for that whole religion thing that got us to this post in the first place ... ;)

America loses in the World Cup on purpose every year so the rest of the world won't hate us even more.

They win three years in a row in the secret world cups and lose in the public world cups held every fourth year.

America loses in the world cup every year because they think they're playing football.
Ka-POW! :sniper:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11219003&postcount=16
er, powie powie? :mp5:

The Fluffle smiley was *supposedly* (lets just assume) made by Jolt... OR WAS IT?!

It was really created by a secret Ambassadorship called Fluffles Against Nuclear Armageddon (FANA), but they allowed Jolt to use it to spread the international love...

:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Never saw conspiracy theories regarding fluffles, didja? :eek:

That is only the fluffle as we know it today. The original fluffle originated in Thailand as a training film for seperating Siamese twins

You're all wrong.

The Jews staged 9/11 and conspired with the UFO people to destroy the Illuminati and rule the world, and make the US use Metric.:p

The United States government is hiding something big.

They've proven themselves incompetent at hiding things; I doubt it.

We really DID land on the moon, but the pictures were faked because when the astronauts got there, they found it really WAS made of cheese. If the people of the world, paticularly those employed by Kraft, ever found out, the quest for more cheese would comprimise the nuclear missile bases the US has there, not to mention our moon-ite (or should I say cheese-ite) allies.

The United States government is hiding something big.
A big, empty Social Security account.

That is only the fluffle as we know it today. The original fluffle originated in Thailand as a training film for seperating Siamese twins
That's a pretty good one, i must say. :D

Harry Potter is a religious conspiracy, but not in the way you think! Let me present some random facts on HP, and compare them to the bible:

Harry Potter
- Evil happens in the Chamber of Secrets, which was developed by a man called Lord Voldemort
- The ultimate good guy is Goderic Gryfinndor
-The ultimate bad guy is Salzasthar Slytherin
-Bad guys stuanch support is Lucien Malfoy
-Snake symbolises evil
- Innocent girl is Ginny (short for Virginia, I'm sure)
- Gryfindor's earthly representative (Dumbledore) is an old white man
- Slytherin is helped by Death Eaters

The Bible/Catholic Church:
- Think the Church of Satan, developed by La Vey, is evil
- Ultimate good guy is God
-Utimate bad guy is Satan
- bad guy supported staunchly by Lucifer
- Snake symbolises evil
-innocent girl is a Virgin
-God's earthly representative (pope) is an old white man
-Satan is helped by Devils

Is this all a coincidence? I THINK NOT!

So, I'm incredibly bored at the moment, and thought people would enjoy creating conspiracy theories every day, hence this thread. I know I love discussing conspiracy theories for the sheer hilarity they can often bring. So...here's the one for today:

Ann Coulter and Randy Rhodes: The same person?

They look almost identical. A skilled make-up artist could easily alter their face to be one aspect or the other. Ann Coulter spends her time ranting so much about Democrats and liberals(American definition), while Randy Rhodes does the exact same, only about Republicans and conservatives(again, American definition.) Ann Coulter is often featured on talk radio--Randy Rhodes has her own show on Air America. Their voices are nigh identical. A wee bit of chemicals and the one person could switch between the two. Both essentially worship the party they affiliate with and the leaders of that party. And they absolutely LOATHE each other. So, they must be the same person! Discuss.


I saw Ann on Fox News thursday...She didn't seem to like Bush or the republicans all that much. When asked about the republicans losing this november she had a yeah they will and so what manner to her.

I saw something funny about Ann Coulter today on FOX. She was talking to... Neil Cavuto I think, and at the bottom of the screen (above the ticker, where they give a sort of "headline" as to what's going on right now) it said "Ann Coulter: Liberals hate me"

I thought that was pretty funny.

I saw something funny about Ann Coulter today on FOX. She was talking to... Neil Cavuto I think, and at the bottom of the screen (above the ticker, where they give a sort of "headline" as to what's going on right now) it said "Ann Coulter: Liberals hate me"

I thought that was pretty funny.


That was the show I saw her on. But in all fairness Liberals do hate her. Maybe fox was mocking her?:) :)

That was the show I saw her on. But in all fairness Liberals do hate her. Maybe fox was mocking her?:) :)
I know they hate her. I thought it was so funny because it's not news that liberals hate her. I've seen her seriously compared to Hitler a couple of times.

That was the show I saw her on. But in all fairness Liberals do hate her. Maybe fox was mocking her?:) :)
This is hard to digest here ... are you chiding FauX for attempting to set a NEW precedent ... honesty, accuracy and integrity in reporting?
:confused:

This is hard to digest here ... are you chiding FauX for attempting to set a NEW precedent ... honesty, accuracy and integrity in reporting?
:confused:


Are you saying any other outlet in america is any better?:) They all suck.;)

This is hard to digest here ... are you chiding FauX for attempting to set a NEW precedent ... honesty, accuracy and integrity in reporting?
:confused:
In all fairness FOX isn't the only one. All those network news stations are pretty bad when it comes to stuff like that. You have to remember that their goal is to make money, not inform the masses, and unfortunately that is best done by entertainment, which I think the networks are quite good at.

FOX is no worse than CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, or any of them. They just lean to the right while most others lean to the left.

In all fairness FOX isn't the only one. All those network news stations are pretty bad when it comes to stuff like that. You have to remember that their goal is to make money, not inform the masses, and unfortunately that is best done by entertainment, which I think the networks are quite good at.

FOX is no worse than CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, or any of them. They just lean to the right while most others lean to the left.



Where have you been all my life?:eek:

Where have you been all my life?:eek:
Just in a rational state of thinking, unlike a lot of the politicians here.

The funny thing is, I want to become a journalist! (well... a photojournalist, so it's a little different)

I wrote all sanctified Scriptures of theis world.
Don't tell anyone it's a secret.


The High Priest
-' Sono Pazzi Questi Romani '-

God does not exist in this universe.
Don't tell anyone it's a secret.


The High Priest
-' Sono Pazzi Questi Romani '-

"In all fairness FOX isn't the only one. All those network news stations are pretty bad when it comes to stuff like that. You have to remember that their goal is to make money, not inform the masses, and unfortunately that is best done by entertainment, which I think the networks are quite good at.

FOX is no worse than CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, or any of them. They just lean to the right while most others lean to the left." (sorry forgot to quote so there wil be no box)
Anyway, I agree with most of what you said, but FOX news IS worse because the others are pretty strictly money making enterprises, and it's obvious that FOX is actually trying to promote an idealogy.
It's all very sad really, and for the most part I've been trying to limit my news uptake to "The News Hour" on PBS.

New Theory
Anne Coulter is not really a conservitive but a self-paradey. She's become so involved in the role that she has gone rogue (like that Colonel in Apocolipse Now)and begun braking into people's homes at night and stilling their kidenies. (orginally these incidence were faked and fake covered up to make her seem more believable)

I think anything involving Ann Coulter is a conspiracy. It has to be, all the evidence points to it.

New one: EverQuest is actually a government training ground for super deadly ninjas. How does playing the game make one a super deadly ninja, someone might ask? Well, if you have to ask, then you're just plain blind.

New one: EverQuest is actually a government training ground for super deadly ninjas. How does playing the game make one a super deadly ninja, someone might ask? Well, if you have to ask, then you're just plain blind.
And if you think that Gary Kasparov isn't invovled in this, your only fooling yourself.

The Iraq War? All a hoax. The desert region known as "Iraq" has actually been uninhabited since the 14th century. There were no people, so the US wasn't spreading democracy. There is also no oil, oil being a fictional construct created by the UN as a smokescreen to cover the fact that they are refining African babies into petroleum, so the US couldn't have occupied "Iraq" for oil. In fact, US forces are even now securing that region of the desert as a landing ground for the alien overlords that have been controlling him through an ingenious alien mind-probe concealed by his suit jacket.

Click here for proof of the alien mind-probe! (http://www.visualfuturist.com/bushiswired/images/bush%20debate%20wired%20suit.jpg)

(This neatly explains why George Bush occasionally makes language slips, or "Bushisms". The aliens haven't quite mastered the English language.)

I wouldn't call this a conspiracy theory persay, but it's about as supported in terms of evidence as one:


Right now as we speak countless hyper-dimensional extra-terrestrial who feed off the ambient bio-electric fields or possibly the imprint in the universe thought generates (real psychic vampires) are observing and interacting with the human race.

This is why people think they see ghosts and what not.



Conspiracy:

The US government has known about the true nature of UFO's and landed extra-terrestrials for years. Roswell did involve the remains of an extra-terrestrial craft (it sure as hell didn't crash here because it was intact), and a secret shadow government which controls international politics arose because of the new found influence and technological power that came with the study of extra-terrestrial technology and science.



NT

This neatly explains why George Bush occasionally makes language slips, or "Bushisms". The aliens haven't quite mastered the English language."Muahahaha! You have misunderestimated your Illegal Aliens for the first time, human ponies!"

Hmm. I think you might be on to something Taldaan. Makes a lot more sense than any other explanation I've heard so far.

This is going to sound unbelievable but it's absolutely true;

There are no spoons, and cheese is just a commercially viable option for the exploration of space. Therefore; mutually exclusive presidents have begun to take upon themselves great responsibilities of insanity and virginity. Consumed by an all-consuming power that powers the most powerful of the powers-that-be have begun to spread their lies and contractual thinking upon us all. In case of an emergency you may be used as a floatation device. In the event of Archaic Revival all lsd-trips will be found to convey the truth as many important historians have not said. Furthermore; unless there is a fluffling record set before 2012, all of our bodies will collapse onto themselves, creating a post-implosatory shockwave that will seriously damage all toasters and vacume-cleaners.

The dentists are coming!

The dentists are coming!You just made my day :)

Jews are taking over the media.

We really nuked Russia, but the government covered it up.

You are not on this forum, i am just projecting images in your mind.

America loses in the world cup every year because they think they're playing football.


If that were the case, it would be 12 enormous 300 lbs negroes beating the monkey crap out of 130 lbs frail englishmen.

Count your blessings.

FOX is no worse than CNN, MSNBC, CNBC, or any of them. They just lean to the right while most others lean to the left.


The American is being steadily pushed to the left by the "liberal media". Citizens will be persuaded that guns are unnecesary and will gradually give them up. We can see this all ready in the banning of privately owned anti aircraft missiles and automatic machine guns. This will be followed by reductions in the military spending of the state, slowing the growth of the nuclear submarine fleet and reducing the nuclear stickpile growth rate to a mere 10% per year.

In the classrooms children will be taught to understand other cultures and respect human dignity and diversity. Geography lessons will be introduced and teachers will start to "pay attention" to their students and "help" when subjects aren't assimilated.

It gets worse. Corporations which rip off/poison/kill citizens will be brought to court by the government rather than wait to have the citizens or their relatives sue. Health and safety regulations will favour the consumer rather than the manufacturer.

Nah, sorry lost it towards the end there, damn thing has to be a bit plausible after all.

Harry Potter is a religious conspiracy, but not in the way you think! Let me present some random facts on HP, and compare them to the bible:

Harry Potter
- Evil happens in the Chamber of Secrets, which was developed by a man called Lord Voldemort
- The ultimate good guy is Goderic Gryfinndor
-The ultimate bad guy is Salzasthar Slytherin
-Bad guys stuanch support is Lucien Malfoy
-Snake symbolises evil
- Innocent girl is Ginny (short for Virginia, I'm sure)
- Gryfindor's earthly representative (Dumbledore) is an old white man
- Slytherin is helped by Death Eaters

The Bible/Catholic Church:
- Think the Church of Satan, developed by La Vey, is evil
- Ultimate good guy is God
-Utimate bad guy is Satan
- bad guy supported staunchly by Lucifer
- Snake symbolises evil
-innocent girl is a Virgin
-God's earthly representative (pope) is an old white man
-Satan is helped by Devils

Is this all a coincidence? I THINK NOT!

Ermm... no. "Ginny" is short for "Ginevra," NOT "Virginia." The ultimate bad guy is VOLDEMORT, not Salazar Slytherin. "Lucien" is "Lucius," and DUH, of course an innocent girl is a virgin! The Bible doesn't HAVE to tell you that, it's already quite obvious!

At work (I work at the John Glenn Institute at The Ohio State University) we get these calls from this crazy woman at night, who thinks that John Glenn is using some sort of space-based weapons platform to give her headaches at night. She calls everynight telling us that we cannot keep her from sleeping forever, and constantly threatening to go to the press to expose the Senaor's evil plot to use "underground space microwaves" for some reason neither I nor anybody else has been able to divine.

At work (I work at the John Glenn Institute at The Ohio State University) we get these calls from this crazy woman at night, who thinks that John Glenn is using some sort of space-based weapons platform to give her headaches at night. She calls everynight telling us that we cannot keep her from sleeping forever, and constantly threatening to go to the press to expose the Senaor's evil plot to use "underground space microwaves" for some reason neither I nor anybody else has been able to divine.

I know, I designed that particular platform.:)

Global warming isn't actually because of us. Aliens are orbiting us and slowly warming up our planet all because Friends ended :eek:

They'll never take my privately owned anti-aircraft missiles! 2nd amendment! 2nd amendment!