NationStates Jolt Archive

...and change one thing in history, what would you do?

change it so I could have unlimited power to do whatever I want

and the I would go back as much as I want to

...and change one thing in history, what would you do?
I would go back and invest in Bill Gates.

I would also go back to the Continental Congress and actually watch the Constitution be formed. then ask for one in plainspeak... without all the garbage. then ask for clarifications, citing examples where Lawyers have gone wild with their interpretations of what was written. then forward and tell Jefferson to write a different letter.

If I could do that, I probably would:


Put my name on the Declaration of Independence
Introduce Shakesbeer to modern teknology
THIS IS A PAID FILLER IGNORE THIS MESSAGE
Help during World War 2
THIS IS ANOTHER PAID FILLER IGNORE THIS MESSAGE
Introduce professional hunting knives and hunting weapons to Stone Age/Neanderthal hunters

I'd take back those words that have hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do

I would have never invented the post-it.

I'd take back those words that have hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
Am I thinking correctly here?

That's a song, yes?

...and change one thing in history, what would you do?

Teach the cavemen some quantom mathematics.

I would have killed Mohammed in his crib.

Stab baby Jesus several times, throw him in a sack and attach a weight, then chuck him into the nearest bod yof water. Hopefully, he will die.

or

Bring technology and modern weapons to Genghis Khan. :gundge:

I'd go to ancient Israel, around 68 CE. I'd bring with me
An arms factory
A bunch of Israeli soldiers (with modern weapons - assault rifles, tanks, helicopters)

Then we'd prevent the destruction of the Second Temple, and create an independent Jewish state 1900 years early.

I would go back and invest in Bill Gates.

I'd take the company instead.

1) Introduce a young Mozart to the electric guitar.

2) Go back and talk to Jesus DIRECTLY (after procuring a universal translation device,) about what the fuck was important. Oh, and tell him about things like the Salem Witch trial and the Inquisition. Make sure he wrote some shit down for himself.

3) Get George W. selected as baseball commissioner somewhen prior to 2000.

Stab baby Jesus several times, throw him in a sack and attach a weight, then chuck him into the nearest bod yof water. Hopefully, he will die.

he'll only come back 3 days later.

Talking to Jesus in the past would only be as useful as actually reading the Bible, seeing as Jesus always talks in parables.

I think the only really good idea here is to teach quantumn math to cavemen, because in the future you'd be able to time travel and telelport! ....

I'd go back and spike St. Augustine's wine supply with a generous dose of lithium and give him some Aristotle to read. Hopefully the two in tandem might have mellowed some of the misogyny and sexual pathos in his works, and in so doing, hopefully we'd have a somewhat healthier relationship between the church and sex today.

I would have killed Mohammed in his crib.
Suicide bomb a prophet? That's hawt.

I would go back a few hours and eat that steak again. :D Mmm.... steak...

http://i.cnn.net/money/popups/2005/consumer/big_eats/steak.jpg

http://i.cnn.net/money/popups/2005/consumer/big_eats/steak.jpg

I dunno, that looks a bit too well-done. I like mine medium.

I dunno, that looks a bit too well-done. I like mine medium.

I fixed it.

And it's 72oz.

First, I would grab Herman Li to come along with me. Then, visit Mozart. Drop Herman Li off with him. Then I would go forward a bit, grab some modern electrical engineers, travel back to feudal times and have them create a generator and bring power to feudal Europe. After the engineers have trained some peasants how to maintain the equipment, I would travel into Mongolia with the engineers and abandon them.

So far, everybody has done something with Jesus or Muhammed, so I'll got grab 'em both and put them on set of the filming of "The Brady Bunch". They would become instant stars. After that, I would invent the DVD player, go back and have Leonardo Da Vinci invent the television. Then I would visit Napoloeon Bonaparte, give him the DVD player and a copy of "Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure" (with French subtitles, of course).

Having kicked ass, I would travel to the 1970's and live the rest of my days with Hunter Thompson.

Ok, I've got it now.

Aside from the steak thing, I'd go back and stop George Lucas from making Episode I and II, and have him skip straight to III.

Then I'd go kill Cher before she could begin her reign of terror.

http://i.cnn.net/money/popups/2005/consumer/big_eats/steak.jpg
Ooh, that's yummy.

*Starts eating*

I would prevent the Holocaust, if anything. Otherwise, I wouldn't do aything. It might mess everything-up. I would love to meet Napoleon though.

Make sure Bush Jr. never gets into office, for two reasons.

"Bush is a natural-born loser with a filthy-rich daddy who pimped his son out to rich oil-mongers. He hates music, football and sex, in no particular order, and he is no fun at all."

"In four short years he has turned our country from a prosperous nation at peace into a desperately indebted nation at war. But so what? He is the President of the United States, and you're not. Love it or leave it."

Hunter Thomspon quotes...

I would kill Alexander and give Persia nukes and tanks. Or I would go to 1954 and stop CIA and Truman from making a coup in Iran; then I would kill Saddam; then I would go and stop the British, French, Russians, and Americans from intefering with middle east; then I would go further back and stop the mullahs from being created and do not let them take political power.

Then the world would be a better place, don't you think?

Id kill several important people.
1. Newton- after he discovered his laws of motion and before he invented the CALCULUS
2. Leibnitz- For also trying to invent the calculus
3. Shakespeare- cos he is full of shit
4. Einstein- so i wouldnt hav to study relativity
5. Aldous Huxley- so i wouldnt hav to study Brave new World
6. Ridley Scott- so i wouldnt hav to study Blade Runner
7. Hitler- the whole holocaust thing
8. Josef Stalin- Bringing a bad name to the communist system of government
9. Gwen Harwood- So i wouldnt hav to study her poetry in the HSC
10. George Bush- cos he is an idiot

Id also take engineers and scientists to the Roman Empire when it was at its peak

I would bang Mitochondrial Eve.

Who would be your daddy then?

I would.

I'd go back to Formula One circa 1960 with designs of a 2006 car.

You could win for decades with it. Instant millions of pounds.

Then I'd go back to about 1700 and deposit £200 in the Bank of England.

Probably make 2+2 = fish.

Am I thinking correctly here?

That's a song, yes?
yep...

"If I Could Turn Back Time" by Cher.

whoops, sorry, TeHe just killed her... so by... er... Brittney Spears.

I would go back to the Time of Jesus Christ with a recorder, lots of tapes, a good directional mike, and lots of batteries... then really preserve his teachings.


the same for Muhammad, (taking one picture for me :D ) and Buddah.

I suppose you could save yourself alot of trouble and temporal paradoxes if one were to understand how their life would be different if past events were changed. When you get down to it, all the past is is an explanation for the present, so if one could change the present, then one would change the past.

...and change one thing in history, what would you do?


Encourage Hitler to invade Russia at a different time so his troops would get into Moscow in spring and not the winter at full power.

Rewrite some of the Ten Commandments. For example: "Thou shalt not commit adultery" becomes "Thou hast naughty bits, and thou shalt have fun with them" and "Keep holy the Sabbath" becomes "Draft beers shalt be offered at discount prices on Fridays."

Of course there's the whole Back to the Future / temporal paradox / can't change the past thing, so I guess I would just go to the first Woodstock.

I would change the modern day democracy to better suit my needs, in other words feeding the people on the mayflower drugs that would suppress their feelings and emotions, then leave them instructions to worship my bloodline ,and tell them to kill and persicute all who oppsose my order and all those who wish to have "emotions" or "feelings", thus making me absolute leader of the continet. from there i would manipulate the feeliningless people to wage war on all who express indiviguality.

I would use my knowledge to take over the world and become King of the World. Guns are great, cannons are even greater.

I'd stop all the idits who would immediately go back and stop WW2.

Sure it was a tragedy, but because of it we have things like computers, mass commercial air-transport, and several hundreds of medical advances that have saved more people than were killed in both world wars.

I might however be convinced to end WW1 if an appropriate fascimile of WW2 could still be ensured. WW1 was a retarded war, nothing happened except people started playing around with tanks and airplanes, both of which existed before ww1 and neither of which were upgraded signifigantly during said useless war...well, useless except that it caused WW2.

oh, and I would probably kill Stalin, or at least igve medical aid to Lenin that allows him to live long enough to ensure Stalin never gets into power. That would greatly mitigate the politics of the cold war era (esp. HUAC) and we would have a stronger, more balanced Russia today avoiding the unbalanced nature of the Post Cold War political climate which left America the only Politcal/Military super power

Id go back with one great big bridle and ride dinosaurs

I'd stop all the idits who would immediately go back and stop WW2.

Sure it was a tragedy, but because of it we have things like computers, mass commercial air-transport, and several hundreds of medical advances that have saved more people than were killed in both world wars.

I might however be convinced to end WW1 if an appropriate fascimile of WW2 could still be ensured. WW1 was a retarded war, nothing happened except people started playing around with tanks and airplanes, both of which existed before ww1 and neither of which were upgraded signifigantly during said useless war...well, useless except that it caused WW2.

oh, and I would probably kill Stalin, or at least igve medical aid to Lenin that allows him to live long enough to ensure Stalin never gets into power. That would greatly mitigate the politics of the cold war era (esp. HUAC) and we would have a stronger, more balanced Russia today avoiding the unbalanced nature of the Post Cold War political climate which left America the only Politcal/Military super power
actually, we'd still have those... it would just be longer to get invented.

Today we probably will be marveling at the 640K memory of our computers as we prep the puch cards for our databases.

I'd go back and bitch-slap Paris and then I'd do Helen Greek without a Trojan.

I would go back in time to destroy said time machine to prevent someone from going back in time and creating a logical paradox.

Wait...

I'd go back and bitch-slap Paris and then I'd do Helen Greek without a Trojan.
Take Paris Hilton back with you... she might think she and Paris are related.

Take Paris Hilton back with you... she might think she and Paris are related.

That is so hot.

I'd give all the cavemen MP3 players loaded full of Emo music.

Then there would be no humans.

Break Cam Wards legs.

Hmm... tough decision.

I might:

Go back to the dawn of life on Earth and play in the primordial ooze.

Travel to Vienna when Hitler was still young and new to the politics game and introduced some photoshopped pictures of him getting freaky with donkeys and and other livestock. (Killing is so dull. I prefer to be more creative. :D )

Wedgie Jesus. I want to know if he has a sense of humor.

Go back to ancient egypt and seal a Playstation Portable and some games in Pharoah Ramses' tomb. Just to fuck with the minds of 1920s archaeologists when they find it. :)

Leave a giant black obelisk here and there to be found.

Go back, kidnap Saint Peter and bring him forward to the present. I'll make him listen to Fred Phelps, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell for three days nonstop. Then I'll say, "See what you did, fucker?" I'll kick him in the balls til he passes out and then drop him off where I found him.

Other ideas might come to me. I'll keep thinking. :)

I'd stop all the idits who would immediately go back and stop WW2.

Sure it was a tragedy, but because of it we have things like computers, mass commercial air-transport, and several hundreds of medical advances that have saved more people than were killed in both world wars.

I might however be convinced to end WW1 if an appropriate fascimile of WW2 could still be ensured. WW1 was a retarded war, nothing happened except people started playing around with tanks and airplanes, both of which existed before ww1 and neither of which were upgraded signifigantly during said useless war...well, useless except that it caused WW2.

oh, and I would probably kill Stalin, or at least igve medical aid to Lenin that allows him to live long enough to ensure Stalin never gets into power. That would greatly mitigate the politics of the cold war era (esp. HUAC) and we would have a stronger, more balanced Russia today avoiding the unbalanced nature of the Post Cold War political climate which left America the only Politcal/Military super power


I didn't want to stop WW2, I wanted to help the axis win it. I would to see what the world would be like if they did.

The dude asked what ONE thing you all would change, not what laundry list you can come up with.



And if I really had to choose about what one thing to change in history I would change nothing. Successfully altering the future through temporal manipulation of the past requires vast intellect, massive computational power, tremendous reasoning ability, and multiple trips to fix all the mistakes you made and unintended consequences that happened on your first couple trips.


I willingly admit that my faculties are far too limited to be dealing "single event" alterations to the time stream. So I won't touch a bloody thing.

NT

I'd start life on earth, just to confuse future scientists with a time paradox.

If I could go back into time, I would advise Prince to not change his name to a symbol. Cause it was really stupid.

If I could go back in time I'd tell George Washington to shave his bad ass. It has to be smooth or else the ladies won't please to squeeze it.

If I could go back in time...


Behead and kill jesus
Stab muhammad
Invest in Bill Gates
Give guns to cavemen.
Get all the most evil people in history together to help me with world domination.
Prevent the invention of anything that may stop me.
Give hitler a pat on the back

I would go back to the day I was concieved, jump up on my parents bed naked and tell them I am the son that they just concieved. Then I would just dance around and yell and spank my mom.

I would also invest in Bill Gates.

Also, I would change the Decleration of Independent so it'll say that when I am born, I am to be made emporer for life!

I would go back and stop that Gay, Black, Gypsy, Jew from getting all the guys!:p

...and change one thing in history, what would you do?
Somehow save the Library at Alexander.

Somehow save the Library at Alexander.

I think back then all you would really need is a tank. That's pretty scary in of itself, either that or an Apache Helicopter.

I'd go back to 1910 and give the Reichwehr G36s, tanks, fighters and ballistic missiles. So they win WWI.

I would go back and sleep with every famous woman in history! :D

I think back then all you would really need is a tank. That's pretty scary in of itself, either that or an Apache Helicopter.
Or just a platoon of modern infrantry with sufficient rounds. :D

I would go back and sleep with every famous woman in history! :D

Even the nasty looking ones?

I would go back and sleep with every famous woman in history! :D
That's just ... weird! Have you SEEN some of them??? Ewwww!

That's just ... weird! Have you SEEN some of them??? Ewwww!

Same wavelength or what?:p

That's just ... weird! Have you SEEN some of them??? Ewwww!

Yea, but I'll always be remembered at the guy who slept with all the famous woman in history, and plus I would have lots of "me" running around!

I'd go back in time, and screw up the time line. But then I wouldn't be screwing up the time line becuase it was in the time line that I screw it up so the time line would actualy not change.

I wouldn't go back in time at all. The timeline is not meant to be altered. If something doesn't happen when it was sopposed to time would stop.

THis would explain that Deja Vu feeling. Youve experienced it befor in a different time line because some wack job keeps screwing it up.

Yea, but I'll always be remembered at the guy who slept with all the famous woman in history, and plus I would have lots of "me" running around!

And thats how the Planet of the Apes came about...;)

1) Introduce a young Mozart to the electric guitar.

2) Go back and talk to Jesus DIRECTLY (after procuring a universal translation device,) about what the fuck was important. Oh, and tell him about things like the Salem Witch trial and the Inquisition. Make sure he wrote some shit down for himself.

3) Get George W. selected as baseball commissioner somewhen prior to 2000.

I'd ask him if:
1. He was gay
2. Being gay is wrong
3. He actually believes he is the son of "God" and can do miracles etc.

Then, I could have a proper conversation with the Jehovah's Witnesses that come knocking on my door every other day asking to speak to my parents, about how being gay isn't defying "God" because either Jesus was gay or he didn't think it was wrong - or both.

Probably make 2+2 = fish.
A cookie for the Fairly Odd Parents reference.

As for me:

I'd go back and establish a modern technological democracy in approximately 400 B.C.E.(Yes, that year was picked out of the air randomly) in North America, spreading slowly to encompass the entirety of the Americas. Then, when the Norse, the Spanish, and all the other oafs in Europe come a'knockin', I'll whomp 'em.

I'd also take a side jaunt into the time periods of every specific religious event that is seemingly important in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, to see if they are in any way historically accurate.

Rewrite some of the Ten Commandments. For example: "Thou shalt not commit adultery" becomes "Thou hast naughty bits, and thou shalt have fun with them" and "Keep holy the Sabbath" becomes "Draft beers shalt be offered at discount prices on Fridays."

Of course there's the whole Back to the Future / temporal paradox / can't change the past thing, so I guess I would just go to the first Woodstock.
Back to the Future, as awesome a trilogy of movies as it may be(one of my favorite trilogies of all time), was wrong on a number of things. First--though you misinterpreted, since they do change the past, and quite often--you can change the past. It might be past right now, but when you GO BACK, you are IN THE PRESENT. When you are is the present. Time is not some immutable stream that exists solidly with no changes. Those who say it cannot be changed are either religious in some specific way--the whole "You can't have paradoxes because the universe would prevent it" thing, which is bullshit--or are just plain ignorant. Furthermore, there are multiple universes, our universe being just one of those. This is a proven scientific fact, proven via quantum mechanics. Therefore, the most accepted and most probably correct theory of time travel is that when one changes what was their past, the new timeline diverges into another quantum universe, leaving the original intact. Thusly, time travel is merely an inexact form of dimensional travel. Through this method, paradoxes are in fact impossible. Kill your grandfather? So what? Your original timeline still exists, so you are still born. You are merely trapped in the alternate universe in which you were not born. The only way to return to yours is either have a way to directly travel between universes or prevent yourself from killing your grandfather. Of course, this would actually create a THIRD universe, with some very slight alterations, though you would never notice them, most likely. The second would continue to exist, as would the original, though the original would be bereft of your presence, as would the second.

Of course, this all assumes you succeed in preventing yourself from killing your grandfather. Should you fail, you will still create a third universe, with the only difference from the second being either one or two corpses, both you.

This is a rather simplistic view of the matter, though. For more information, I suggest you scour the internet.

I would have killed Mohammed in his crib.

Gotta go with killing the false prophet also.

...and change one thing in history, what would you do?Prevent anyone from making it possible to travel back in time to change history. ;)

buy a whole bunch of stuff really cheap


other than that, nothing. tampering with history would be dangerous.

I'd also complete all the missing issues in my Silver Age comic book collection.

Get a modern army and go to 17 centry holland. Where I'll become one of the two dutch cityholders and ensure dutch dominance around the globe. Starting of by burning Londen to the ground:mp5: take over england and then conquer the entire new, and after that, the entire old world.

You will of course not be aware of it, but the past is continually tampered with by time travellers from the future.

Why can't you fiddlers just leave us alone for a change? :gundge:

You will of course not be aware of it, but the past is continually tampered with by time travellers from the future.

I now understand the 2004 Presidential election. Time travellers from the dumbass dimension fucked with our timeline.

Those Bastards!

I would bring modern medicine and doctors to stop Alexander the Great from dying. Then after his empire had reached its new full size, I would bring back tons of technology, and scientists to train the people how to use them. The Greek Empire was way better than the Roman Empire.

I would go back and sleep with every famous woman in history! :D

Including Margaret Thatcher?

I would go back with a digital scanner and lots of hard drives, to the Library at ALexandria and scan all the books before the library burned down.

Including Margaret Thatcher?

He said famous women...

I'd go back in time and kill baby Hitler.

And i'd go back and kill baby Stalin, too.

I would go back and introduce Karl Marx to Libertarisim!

I would go back and introduce Karl Marx to Libertarisim!
Then you have succeeded. Karl Marx knew about Libertarianism, through his mate Bakunin who beat him in the 1st internationale. look it up in the internet if you don't believe me.

And i'd go back and kill baby Stalin, too.

Stalin wasn't cruel when he was young, no one was.

:eek: I'd go back in time and kill baby Hitler.

Just imagine Hans Scheisskopf's mother hadn't had an abortion. He'd have ousted Hitler in '33 and been about ten times as monstrous as führer. So killing baby H. would only have unburdened him from opposition and enabled him to win the war ...

i'd bring my brother back

Kill Bismarck. Fucking unifier.

...and change one thing in history, what would you do?

I would change the pants I wore today. They seem to have a peculiar way of making my face itch.

I would have killed Mohammed in his crib.

Dang DK, you beat me to it :D

Second choice: go back to Alexandria in the early second century AD and promote Hero's aeolipile. Steam engines in the Roman Empire ---> United Federation of Planets today!

i'd go back in time and have my name changed to myrth.

oh!!

go back a knock up the "virgin" mary.

pee in the 'primordial soup'

make stonehenge square

i'd stop myself from going back in time.....