NationStates Jolt Archive

I was just chatting with my sister and mentioned a post here (Sinuhue's fun similie and metaphor one). That got me wondering if any of you also have siblings, and what you think about having them. Are you for or against having multiple kids? How do you think having sisters and brothers affects one's mental development?

I have an older brother and a younger sister. I think it is super to have them, and I could not imagine myself having an only child. When my mother was in university she did a study of mental development, and found that depending on how far apart kids are spaced, they can either pull each other up or drag each other down. What do you think the best spacing is for the best development of kids' mental and social well-being? I say 3.5 years apart is best.

Somebody seems to be having a really BIG family.

Hehe..
WELL


My mother has had 4 kids.

Im by dad 1.
others are by dad 2, 3, 4

dad 1 has had 3 kids (including me.)

thats 6.

IF you include marriages and step-brothers/sisters...

dad 2 has had another kid apart from sister
(7)
dad 3 has had another 2
(9)
4 has had another 1
(10)

PLUS dad 5 currently has 4 kids, none related to me, but is married to mother.
so thats 14.


...
That ok>?

a really annoying sister

Hehe..
WELL


My mother has had 4 kids.

Im by dad 1.
others are by dad 2, 3, 4

dad 1 has had 3 kids (including me.)

thats 6.

IF you include marriages and step-brothers/sisters...

dad 2 has had another kid apart from sister
(7)
dad 3 has had another 2
(9)
4 has had another 1
(10)

PLUS dad 5 currently has 4 kids, none related to me, but is married to mother.
so thats 14.


...
That ok>?
Your children are gonna get so much money on their birthdays from their various aunts and uncles.

my uncle has 17 kids, I think that's too many. They were at eachother's throats constantly, they now range in age from 32 to 9, it was a constant battle for attention at their house, however most of that was the fault of the parents.

I have mostly been an only child, gained 2 step sisters older than me (by at least 10 years) when I was 11, and then 3 younger than me (by at least 10 years) at age 15. I don't think any of them really count as sibling experience though since I didn't really care to associate with them.

I have 2 kids, they were born a little closer together than I wanted (they are to the day 22 months apart) but they seem to get along well, they are best friends (most of the time). I don't know if there is a "perfect" place to space kids, but 2-3 years seems about right.

I think I probably didn't do much "kid stuff" because I was an only child, I grew up way faster than I should have, and I think the same thing happened to hubby being 6 years older than his oldest sibling.

I don't know that having brothers or sisters is better than not having them or vice versa, but the age difference and the expectations of the parent regarding your role in the family can sure screw you up. :p


wait......what was this thred about?:confused:

wait......what was this thred about?:confused:
Don't worry, you covered everything I asked... I suppose it is a bit of a meandering topic. I just wanted to be sure everyone had lots to talk about.

It is better this way. It was either this or a poll on whether people's hair whorls clockwise or counterclockwise at the backs of their heads...

I am the eldest of three. My sister is 14, and my half brother is 6. I like having siblings that look up to me, its easier for me to corrupt them ;)

Don't worry, you covered everything I asked... I suppose it is a bit of a meandering topic. I just wanted to be sure everyone had lots to talk about.

It is better this way. It was either this or a poll on whether people's hair whorls clockwise or counterclockwise at the backs of their heads...
yeah.

I thought of something else though, I am around kids and their parents a lot, mostly because of 2 of my jobs, and the fact that my kids have a lot of friends.

I get really annoyed with parents, who (and I see a lot of them) don't let their kids be who they are. They compare them with other children, compare them to their siblings and assume that since one kid does something or liked something that all the other kids in the family do too.

I hate it when I hear "but your sister was potty trained already at your age" and "your brother loves football, why don't you try out?"

KIDS ARE PEOPLE, THEY ARE UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT AND THEY HAVE OPINIONS..........

[/rant]

I get really annoyed with parents, who (and I see a lot of them) don't let their kids be who they are. They compare them with other children, compare them to their siblings and assume that since one kid does something or liked something that all the other kids in the family do too.
I see your point... But my parents did that all the time, and I think that in our case it worked out well. Knowing that we had to compete for our parents' love pushed my siblings and I to greater achievements. Most of the time they limited their comparisons to school, though, and I could see how expecting kids to share all the same interests is ridiculous.

I get really annoyed with parents, who (and I see a lot of them) don't let their kids be who they are. They compare them with other children, compare them to their siblings and assume that since one kid does something or liked something that all the other kids in the family do too.

Or dress them alike if their twins. That annoys me enormously as I think twins should have the right to be individual persons.

Somebody seems to be having a really BIG family.

I voted the "9 siblings" thing.

...Sorry everyone, it's a lie. I only have 2 siblings.

Har, lying for the win!

...Sorry everyone, it's a lie. I only have 2 siblings.

A pity. I imagined such an interesting family.

One brother, older than me by...567 days. I get on with him fine - most of the time we don't live together, and when we do I don't talk to him much. I'm kinda the black sheep of the family.

One younger brother. (3 years younger)

I see your point... But my parents did that all the time, and I think that in our case it worked out well. Knowing that we had to compete for our parents' love pushed my siblings and I to greater achievements. Most of the time they limited their comparisons to school, though, and I could see how expecting kids to share all the same interests is ridiculous.
my kids will never have to compete for love or attention from me, they know I love them through thick and thin, good or bad. They are who they are and I love them no matter what.

They strive to make themselves happy because in the end that's all you can really do, is please yourself.

Well, I have a brother and sister I grew up with, and a brother who grew up with a different mother. There's also rumours that our dad (who's been dead for several years) 'made his rounds' and that there are several illigitimate children all over Ontario. I often consider rounding them all up and going on different adventures and such.

I have a brother whose two years older than me, we get along really well. Our parents realise we're different, but they do put us against what they think other children are like.

I get really annoyed with parents, who (and I see a lot of them) don't let their kids be who they are. They compare them with other children, compare them to their siblings and assume that since one kid does something or liked something that all the other kids in the family do too.

I hate it when I hear "but your sister was potty trained already at your age" and "your brother loves football, why don't you try out?"

KIDS ARE PEOPLE, THEY ARE UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT AND THEY HAVE OPINIONS..........


Arg, my parents do the smae thing to me. I have 2 sisters, my older sister is 34 and my younger sister is 12 and about 2 years younge than me. She is very athletic and gets good grades (but is not very bright, strange for a straight-A student). I, however, am the super-smart band geek that does not get out much (frankly because everyone around here is an idiot except for my firends... they only act like idiots:D ) and therefore, since I'm not being driven everywhere every night, I really have to compete for attention.

And all the time my mom is like "try out for softball/volleyball/baskeball" or "hang out with more girls" and "hang out with Laura more" BULL CRAP. I am not interested in sports and the girls around here are RETARDS. THEIR IQs ARE LOWER THAN THOSE OF CEILING FANS. And the strange thing is, the preacher at our old church told Mom to start hangin around more women and she got mad at him and stopped coming to church :D

People with more than two children disgust me; it's the epitome of selfishness and disregard for the rest of the world.

I have a sis, half-bro and half-sis...I'm almost a Saudi prince ;)

I've got five: 2 sisters, 2 half-sisters and a half-brother.

I also have 13 nephews and nieces last time I counted.

I have one significantly older brother. He and I have never really got along; the age difference was too great for us to be peers in any way when we were younger, and even now that were both adults, we're both still kind of locked in that childish mindset when it comes to each other. It's a shame, since I have a feeling we'd get along reasonably well if we could manage to respect each other.

My father, on the other hand, has eleven siblings (three guesses as to his parents' religion! :p ), and they're about the most close-knit and loving family imaginable. For all that I'm sure sharing my bedroom with three other people would have been a pain, I sometimes wish I'd had that big, close family experience growing up. It seems to have worked well for them, anyway.

I had to think on that question. One of my brothers died in december. I've not actually had to answer that question since then. I suppose I don't have three brothers anymore, just two. It dosn't feel right saying that though. I voted three in the poll anyway. If someone asks in real life I'm not sure how I'd answer. I could just say I had three brothers but one has died recently, but I don't really like to bring it up. I don't like talking about it. Posting is different though. I tell you guys everything, even stuff I wouldn't tell my friends and family.

I have one older sister and after all these years I still take great pride in annoying her. I have two nephews by her whom I love to corrupt which annoys the hell out of her. ;)

1 older brother.

I have one older sister and after all these years I still take great pride in annoying her. I have two nephews by her whom I love to corrupt which annoys the hell out of her. ;)
My littlest brother is thirteen years younger than me. I've totally corrupted him. My mother hates it, she dosn't want to him to turn out like me. I'm a dissapointment to her...:(

My littlest brother is thirteen years younger than me. I've totally corrupted him. My mother hates it, she dosn't want to him to turn out like me. I'm a dissapointment to her...:(

The only problem is that she blames me for every mischievous thing they do. For instance, on the last day of school this year, my eldest nephew brought a dozen packets of itching powder to school. He handed a few out, dumped a few down the shirts of annoying kids and apparently dared another kid to dump one down his underwear. Well, he got in trouble on the last day of school. His mother calls me up and screams at me for twenty minutes on the phone, blaming me for making her son a troublemaker.

I didn't give him these ideas! I just provided the itching powder. :p

I have an older (2 years) sister , a younger (4 years) sister & a younger (7 years) brother. I'm very close to all of them & we get along very well. As adults, we do a lot of things together, holidays, getting together for meals, on the weekend, etc. It worked very well when we were growing up too, because my older sister & I would do things together and my younger sister & brother would do things together.

I have 1 older sister. When we were young, we used to fight a lot. Since we are 7yrs apart, we missed parts of each other's lives. Now, we are closer than ever because we realize that our fighting is useless. I just wish I could have had another sibling closer to my age. I wish I could have had more meomories with my sibling.

I have four older half-siblings, and three younger full siblings. The four--two each--were from previous marriages before my mom and dad met and married each other. I was the first child of that union, and my little sisters and little brother--the only siblings with whom I live--were the others.

i've got a sister 4 years younger than me but in many ways she's like an older sister. seeing as she's smarter and more mature and sensible than me and she used to help me with my maths homework when i was still at school. me and my sister are very close particularly since i moved away and she's like a best friend for me. i can't imagine not having her as a friend although that's not always been the case. i used to hate the fact that i had a sister and i used to be really horrible to her and about her.

One younger brother

The only problem is that she blames me for every mischievous thing they do. For instance, on the last day of school this year, my eldest nephew brought a dozen packets of itching powder to school. He handed a few out, dumped a few down the shirts of annoying kids and apparently dared another kid to dump one down his underwear. Well, he got in trouble on the last day of school. His mother calls me up and screams at me for twenty minutes on the phone, blaming me for making her son a troublemaker.

I didn't give him these ideas! I just provided the itching powder. :p

Howcome I never had an uncle like you? :(

I have one brother and one sister, both younger. We get along much better now than when they were annoying screw-ups. :p

I have two older brothers (three years older and almost twenty years older), and older sister (thirteen years older), and a younger brother that I haven't seen since 1996 (six or so years younger).

My oldest brother has two or three kids that I've never seen before, my sister's going to have one sometime this year that I'll likely never see, and my mom's probably had a few more since the last time I saw her.

I'm 21 and I have a younger sister who is 16. We're basically polar opposites: she's a fashion model, I tell people they're lucky if I have on clean pants on any given day. She claims that she's too good to do yard work, I'm already out there with a WeedEater raising Cain. She listens to rock music and plays bass, I listen to classical music and play piano. She's unbelievably self-centred, I'm the one who is a special needs nanny and pet rescuer.

But hey, at least we never compete over who is the best at something.

Also, we have a 13-year-old cat named Mr Boo who is basically like a sibling to us because, come on, he's been around FOREVER.

I have one older sister within the Monkeypimpenstein clan.

Also, we have a 13-year-old cat named Mr Boo who is basically like a sibling to us because, come on, he's been around FOREVER.

Your cat's freakin' old, man.

I have two, and I get along with them a lot better now that I moved out.

I have two, and I get along with them a lot better now that I moved out.

Oh god. Having to live with family for eighteen years straight is hell.

I have two, and I get along with them a lot better now that I moved out.
Yeah, the old classic. Relations b/w my sister and me improved dramatically when she moved out, even more when I moved away to the other end of the country.

You know, in the spirit of Katherina Hepburn, maybe not only spouses but every family member should all live in their own house and just occasionally visit each other. *nods*

I have an older brother, 18 month difference. We get on reasonably well, possibly because, though we both share an office with our computer in, he just zones out of the real world and ignores just about everything, i listen to my music and ignore him.

We get annoyed at each other obviously and we are quite different people, not opposites, but pretty different.

Most recentely he completely 'forgot' the date of my birthday and booked his driving test on it, even though i had said just before he called up not to book it then, he passed anyway. I was planning to book mine on his birthday, but i get back from visiting some relatives in Brazil instead.

I am the oldest of four... I have a sister who is a year and a week younger than I am, I brother two years younger than her, and a sister two and a half years younger than him.

And I love them all. We have always been pretty close; of course growing up we had those random sibling fights that I imagine everyone has, but none of them stuck. These days I don't see them much (we are pretty scattered out) but we chat on the phone and try to get together at least once a year (usually sometime near Christmas). And we are all supportive of each other, and if anyone needs something, the others are right there.

Yeah, the old classic. Relations b/w my sister and me improved dramatically when she moved out, even more when I moved away to the other end of the country.

You know, in the spirit of Katherina Hepburn, maybe not only spouses but every family member should all live in their own house and just occasionally visit each other. *nods*Moving to a different city or country helps a lot. :)
Makes reunions more fun.

Moving to a different city or country helps a lot. :)
Makes reunions more fun.

I want to attend the University of Minnesota. Hey, Minnesota is virtually another country compared to Texas (and it's soooo far away)!

:p

Eldest brother, with two younger sisters. Which goes to say an awful lot about my personality. I'm notoriously protective of my sisters, lest any harm should befall them. At the same time I'm not a typical firstborn as per the fact that I'm a notorious slacker, even if I wind up overachieving unconsciously. Very amusing.

ps If I don't like you and I find you anywhere I don't like near my sisters...well...best of luck to the police on finding your remains, scattered throughout several states. Grrrrrrrrr. (Fass, you can take comfort in knowing you have nothing to worry about on this issue)

I want to attend the University of Minnesota. Hey, Minnesota is virtually another country compared to Texas (and it's soooo far away)!

:p
Get the warm clothes and prepare for the arctic.

a really annoying sister

Same here. Mine's whoremoanal.

I voted the "9 siblings" thing.

...Sorry everyone, it's a lie. I only have 2 siblings.

Har, lying for the win!

Ha, I voted fo that and actually have 9 siblings, and two brothers-in-law

Get the warm clothes and prepare for the arctic.

I like the cold. :D

I have a brother and a sister both younger than me. My brother is 6 years younger and my sister is 9 years yonger.Both of them always work together to get me into trouble.....

only child. wish i had siblings sometimes. often very lonely growing up :(

only child. wish i had siblings sometimes. often very lonely growing up :(
Awwww. But look, now you have... us! :fluffle:

Awwww. But look, now you have... us! :fluffle:
hah true :) (edit: you don't know how true that is, especially from last year...)
i also have my multitude of dvds, and star trek - still lonely sometimes... feel like i know the cast of star trek better than i know almost anyone else, heh :P

things were just lonely when you had to do your homework and spend hours each night in a boring office, sometimes sleeping there, while your parents worked. and lonely when every other kid gets collected from the playground after school but you :( and you wait and wait alone... a brother of sister would have made that easier at least.

probably would be better at dealing with people if i'd grown up with someone else

older brother(21) and sister(19) so iam(17) the youngest :)
i have always liked being the littlist, my brother always looked out for me. now that both of them are at college i dont really talk to them anymore, so we'er not as close :(

and lonely when every other kid gets collected from the playground after school but you :( and you wait and wait alone...
Aw, you're making me cry. :(

probably would be better at dealing with people if i'd grown up with someone else Nah, not really. I've met enough people who are socially inept in one way or the other (hell, aren't we all?) but I never noticed any link to if they were only children or had siblings.

I have two older brothers and one younger brother, which means I'm the only girl. My brothers were always very protective of me and I knew I could always count on them to be there for me.

Both my mum and dad came from families who had five kids and after hearing stories from both sides I think five children is plenty. Growing up in a household with four kids was enough for me!

Aw, you're making me cry. :(


sorry... i cried when i wrote it too :(

Nah, not really. I've met enough people who are socially inept in one way or the other (hell, aren't we all?) but I never noticed any link to if they were only children or had siblings.
perhaps. with me specifically i hate conflict and having a bit of sibling-rivalry or something might have helped me get used to that earlier in life rather than find it difficult to deal with at this time in life *shrugs*

will never know, really...

sorry... i cried when i wrote it too :(
You're not making it better, you know? *sniff*

Here, take this: http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/love005.gif

perhaps. with me specifically i hate conflict and having a bit of sibling-rivalry or something might have helped me get used to that earlier in life rather than find it difficult to deal with at this time in life *shrugs*

will never know, really...
Well, guess what - you will, because I'll tell you right now: it's funny you bring up hating conflict, because that's one of my most defining traits - and there was plenty of sibling-rivalry in my childhood.
I don't know, maybe having to assert yourself in front of a sibling can help make you become more self-assertive or self-confident. But I don't see it helping with being more confrontational. Well, at least I'm pretty sure that in my life at least the fear of conflict comes from a whole different kind of problems that have nothing to do with having a sibling or not.

Howcome I never had an uncle like you? :(

Someday with luck and a little genetic engineering, everyone will have an uncle like me. :)

I have an older sister and a younger brother. I like them both. Sometimes.

I have two older brothers and one younger brother, which means I'm the only girl. My brothers were always very protective of me and I knew I could always count on them to be there for me.

Both my mum and dad came from families who had five kids and after hearing stories from both sides I think five children is plenty. Growing up in a household with four kids was enough for me!
For the time being I'll agree with your parents. I'm the oldest of five children and let's just say it's "interesting". Don't get me wrong, I still love all my sbilings but I see no reason as to why I would want any more than 2-3 as a parent myself. Of course, hopefully as they get older the age differences won't seem as large. I'm currently 18, my older younger brother is 16, my youngest younger brother is 13, my older younger sister is 9, and my youngest sister is 4. As a recent high school graduate, I can't believe that I'll be 32 when my youngest sister graduates.

I have a brother and a sister. I'm the oldest, and we all get along fine.

Odd, I know.

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e12/minatex19/Froggyfamily.jpg

Some times, IT also depends upon who raises your siblings.
I have a younger sister by a year and 10 months, who together for the first 10 years of my existence, were raised by my grandparents. One of which was a nutrturing Grandfather and the only male role model I had at the time, and the other being a sadistic, Bible thumping bitch of a grandmother, who faught with my grandfather constantly, driving him out of the house when I was 8.
Also I spent my first 3 1/2 years alive with my dad and mom so I bonded with them when I was little. My parents split a while after my sister turned 1.
So basicly the only people my sister was around constantly were my grandma and my aunt. My aunt is only 6 years older than I, and she was a good mentor. I often refer to her as my older sister.

Any how, After my mom came to visit us back in '97 I moved in with her. My sister remained behind with my grandma and aunt, (who spent less and less time at home as she went through high school). I gained social freedoms, being my mom wasn't sadistic or bible thumping, got spoiled due to my mom's fear of me rejecting her.

So to make things short, after 18 years of comparison, My sister became much more like my grandmother, except that she's not a bible thumper for obvious reasons. While I became like my father, though that's because of a lack of supervision during my post-pubecent years, genetics takes control when a lack of control is present.

Any ways,... Siblings are critical to developement of individuals and personalities, it can make them more or less social depending on what they're exposed to, and what the older siblings do, I mean my sister followed my shoes academicly during elementary school. Although she did it without Ritalin.
Generally speaking I am done. Hope to that I wasn't to irrellevant.