NationStates Jolt Archive


How young is too young to be married?

Deep Kimchi
16-06-2006, 14:22
I'll wager that in the past, the age of marrieds was probably younger than it is now, and I know it's younger in some countries than it is in the US.

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/06/15/D8I8Q3CO0.html

A 15-year-old girl can enter into a common-law marriage in Colorado, and younger girls and boys possibly can, too, a state appeals court ruled Thursday.

While the three-judge panel stopped short of setting a specific minimum age for such marriages, it said they could be legal for girls at 12 and boys at 14 under English common law, which Colorado recognizes.

The ruling overturned a lower-court judge's decision that a girl, now older than 18, was too young to marry at 15.

The panel said there was no clear legislative or statutory guidance on common-law marriages, and that Colorado courts have not determined an age of consent.

For traditional ceremonial marriage, Colorado law sets the minimum age at 18, or 16 with parental or judicial approval.

Ah, so if you want a church wedding, you have to be older. Otherwise, get married when you want.

Your opinions?
Neo Undelia
16-06-2006, 14:24
Your opinions?
No one should get married, ever. If you must, at least wait until you’re in your thirties.
Fass
16-06-2006, 14:24
I don't think anyone under 25 should get married, but for consistency we should keep the limit at 18.
IL Ruffino
16-06-2006, 14:24
My cousin got married at age 16.

She invented post-its.

Baha
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Bahahaha
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BAHAHAHAHMAAHAHAHWHWHAHWAHAHA!!1111111!!
IL Ruffino
16-06-2006, 14:25
I don't think anyone under 25 should get married, but for consistency we should keep the limit at 18.
I say age 20, but meh.
Philosopy
16-06-2006, 14:25
18 should be the youngest age, I suppose 16 with parents permission. There is no reason to be married any earlier than this.
Kazcaper
16-06-2006, 14:26
I'm 22, and loads of my school friends are getting married or have already got married. I think they're all insane. So from a personal point of view, I'd agree with Fass and say about 25.

Legally though, the same age as what ever your country deems the age of adulthood, I suppose (18 here).
Kazus
16-06-2006, 14:27
And gays are destroying marriage?
Bottle
16-06-2006, 14:28
I'll wager that in the past, the age of marrieds was probably younger than it is now, and I know it's younger in some countries than it is in the US.

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/06/15/D8I8Q3CO0.html



Ah, so if you want a church wedding, you have to be older. Otherwise, get married when you want.

Your opinions?
I don't think it's wise to get married until you've accomplished the following:

1) Been sexual active for at least 5 years.
2) Been romantically involved with your particular partner for at least 4 years
3) Lived with your partner for at least 1 year
4) Lived alone (out of your parents' home, and without your romantic partner) for at least 2 years
5) Held at least two jobs, for at least a year each.

And those are the BARE MINIMUMS that I think are wise. When you add all this up, it kind of creates a minimum marriage age, simply because most people aren't going to have lived on their own, held a job, and been dating the same person for 5 years if they're only 17 years old.

I would also add that I think it is POSSIBLE for people to build good and lasting marriages without doing these things (my own parents married after knowing each other only 3 years, and it's their 30th aniversary in July). I just don't think it's wise to do so.
Aylestone
16-06-2006, 14:28
It should remain at 18 and 16 with parental consent. After all you can't vote, drink or have a mortgage till you are 18, and two of the listed are invaluable if you are married...
The Aeson
16-06-2006, 14:30
Well, what about places where the drinking age is twenty-one?
Neo Undelia
16-06-2006, 14:33
My cousin got married at age 16.

She invented post-its.

Baha
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Bahahaha
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BAHAHAHAHMAAHAHAHWHWHAHWAHAHA!!1111111!!
You are the best poster, ever.
Deep Kimchi
16-06-2006, 14:38
And gays are destroying marriage?
No, it's those pesky pre-teens.
IL Ruffino
16-06-2006, 14:40
You are the best poster, ever.
Stick with me kid, I'll show you the ways of NSG.
Cluichstan
16-06-2006, 14:43
And gays are destroying marriage?

This thread is not about gay marriage. Run along.
Smunkeeville
16-06-2006, 15:02
You should only get married when you are capable and willing of making a lifetime commitment to another person (see how PC I am?) it's not an age thing, it's a maturity thing. Most people are never mature enough to make that type of commitment.

While it strikes me as odd that a 15 year old would be ready to make such a jump (it also strikes me as suspicious) I have to admit that I got married at 18, although I was a lot more mature than most 18 year olds at that point. I have friends who are my age now, who I know aren't ready to be married, but they are :(
Evil Satanic OzMonkeys
16-06-2006, 15:08
15? Slightly too young. I'd say 18 in America, the age of adulthood. Maybe 21...what's better, emancipation or booze? I'd say the age of adulthood and maybe not 21 in America, in Europe, I know, nose over the counter, they get booze. Lucky bastards. So, age of emancipation.
Cluichstan
16-06-2006, 15:09
5 is too young.
Neo Undelia
16-06-2006, 15:10
Stick with me kid, I'll show you the ways of NSG.
Oh, I've been here quite a while, see sig.
You should only get married when you are capable and willing of making a lifetime commitment to another person (see how PC I am?)
Not at all?
-Somewhere-
16-06-2006, 15:10
You should only get married when you are capable and willing of making a lifetime commitment to another person (see how PC I am?) it's not an age thing, it's a maturity thing. Most people are never mature enough to make that type of commitment.

While it strikes me as odd that a 15 year old would be ready to make such a jump (it also strikes me as suspicious) I have to admit that I got married at 18, although I was a lot more mature than most 18 year olds at that point. I have friends who are my age now, who I know aren't ready to be married, but they are :(
I think it depends on the person. I'm 16 and engaged, she's the same age as me. We don't plan on getting married too soon but we've been with each other for years and we love each other. I know we're mature enough to commit to each other and we've never been more sure about anything in our lives.
Iztatepopotla
16-06-2006, 15:12
I don't think it's wise to get married until you've accomplished the following:

1) Been sexual active for at least 5 years.
2) Been romantically involved with your particular partner for at least 4 years
3) Lived with your partner for at least 1 year
4) Lived alone (out of your parents' home, and without your romantic partner) for at least 2 years
5) Held at least two jobs, for at least a year each.
I would add also to have had at least 3 partners before the current one.
Cluichstan
16-06-2006, 15:13
I think it depends on the person. I'm 16 and engaged, she's the same age as me. We don't plan on getting married too soon but we've been with each other for years and we love each other. I know we're mature enough to commit to each other and we've never been more sure about anything in our lives.

IBshe'sscrewingsomeoneelse
Peepelonia
16-06-2006, 15:13
My wife was 18, by 7 days when we got married, I was just about 21 meself.
Too young to get married, do I hear? Psssshh, yeah that's why we still are after 18 years togeher.

Naaa get married when you want to, the same for having kids, when you feel the urge is the time to do it.

As for the legal age, I'm pretty sure that the law says that you can get married at 16 over here, if you have you perants permission, but then I may just be reapting an urban myth, I really don't know.
Bottle
16-06-2006, 15:13
I would add also to have had at least 3 partners before the current one.
Oh yeah. Forgot about that one.
Smunkeeville
16-06-2006, 15:13
I think it depends on the person. I'm 16 and engaged, she's the same age as me. We don't plan on getting married too soon but we've been with each other for years and we love each other. I know we're mature enough to commit to each other and we've never been more sure about anything in our lives.
why are you engaged if you are not ready to get marrried?

what does engagement mean?
-Somewhere-
16-06-2006, 15:14
IBshe'sscrewingsomeoneelse
Hehe.... like I haven't heard that one before!

why are you engaged if you are not ready to get marrried?

what does engagement mean?
We want to get married when our financial situation is a bit better.
Bottle
16-06-2006, 15:15
why are you engaged if you are not ready to get marrried?

what does engagement mean?
I can't speak for anybody else, but I know a couple who have been engaged for 4 years because they both want to have a gigantic wedding and reception, and they can't afford it yet. :P
Iztatepopotla
16-06-2006, 15:16
I can't speak for anybody else, but I know a couple who have been engaged for 4 years because they both want to have a gigantic wedding and reception, and they can't afford it yet. :P
What happened to good ol' elloping? My grandparents basically elloped when he was 18 and she was 16 and their 60th wedding anniversary is next month.
Bottle
16-06-2006, 15:18
What happened to good ol' elloping? My grandparents basically elloped when he was 18 and she was 16 and their 60th wedding anniversary is next month.
Hey, I don't understand any of it. But that won't stop me from drinking the (very expensive) booze that my buddies plan to serve at their wedding.
MaChao
16-06-2006, 15:29
I think nobody need to marriage.
Why should you marry? You can also lucky with your girl/boyfriend when u dont marry. There's no reason for marriage.
But all humans who want to marry should be able to marry if they want, the age is not important, when after it, they will be more lucky...:rolleyes:
Philosopy
16-06-2006, 15:32
I think nobody need to marriage.
Why should you marry? You can also lucky with your girl/boyfriend when u dont marry. There's no reason for marriage.
But all humans who want to marry should be able to marry if they want, the age is not important, when after it, they will be more lucky...:rolleyes:
Marriage is a contract between two people to stay faithful to each other for the rest of your lives. And, even if you don't believe in any of the spiritual or committment aspects of it, it is also a financial contract that brings a certain degree of security.
Smunkeeville
16-06-2006, 15:32
We want to get married when our financial situation is a bit better.
ah, interesting. You know that your financial situation is never going to be perfect for marriage right?

however, I applaud your reason (since I am a financial type person by trade)
Kanabia
16-06-2006, 15:33
Er....84.

But legally? 18, I guess.
Compulsive Depression
16-06-2006, 15:33
This whole marriage thing seems a silly idea to me. Good so rarely seems to come of it.
Why get married, after all? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house...
Who said that, anyway?
-Somewhere-
16-06-2006, 15:35
ah, interesting. You know that your financial situation is never going to be perfect for marriage right?

however, I applaud your reason (since I am a financial type person by trade)
We're never going to be one of these couples who just puts everything like marriage or children off just because the financial situation isn't perfect. But it's just a little too impossible at the moment, we'd rather finish with things like our education first.
The Beautiful Darkness
16-06-2006, 15:41
I think probably 22 or 23.

I'm nearly 20, but I wouldn't advocate getting married to anyone while you are this age. I don't personally feel ready for it, and I don't think the large majority of people do. A few years (probably) makes all the difference ;)

I think you need a certain amount of life experience before you understand what a commintment marriage is. I'm not religious, but I do believe marriage is a lifelong commitment.
Brazilam
16-06-2006, 15:46
People should get married at 18 and up. Just imagine the pain if a 13 year old girl had to go through pregnancy! Not that I know about the pain or anything since I'm a guy, but it sounds like it really hurts.
Smunkeeville
16-06-2006, 15:48
We're never going to be one of these couples who just puts everything like marriage or children off just because the financial situation isn't perfect. But it's just a little too impossible at the moment, we'd rather finish with things like our education first.
finish your education for sure, pay off all your debts, (even student loans) sit down and make up a list of financial goals and figure out how to best accomplish them.

3 months of expenses in a savings account for emergencies (that's joint expenses, if need be both of you should have seperate accounts for this)

no debt (or actively paying off debt)

pay cash for everything

actively save for the future

all good goals, you can add your own.

;) TG me if you want.
Bottle
16-06-2006, 15:49
People should get married at 18 and up. Just imagine the pain if a 13 year old girl had to go through pregnancy! Not that I know about the pain or anything since I'm a guy, but it sounds like it really hurts.
Um, marriage =/= pregnancy.
Iztatepopotla
16-06-2006, 15:54
People should get married at 18 and up. Just imagine the pain if a 13 year old girl had to go through pregnancy! Not that I know about the pain or anything since I'm a guy, but it sounds like it really hurts.
I had gallstones. They tell me it's somewhat like that. :)
Neo Undelia
16-06-2006, 19:19
Marriage is a contract between two people to stay faithful to each other for the rest of your lives
*Looks at the rate of divorce*
lol
And, even if you don't believe in any of the spiritual or committment aspects of it, it is also a financial contract that brings a certain degree of security.
Maybe for women, but there’s no reason for a man to get married. When two people marry, it’s like forming a corporation, where each of you owns half. Now, at least in the US, the man usually had more to begin with. So, after the statistically probabile divorce, he loses more than the women, and in most states, is going to have to pay quite a bit of alimony even if she is employed. Marriage does not make good business sense, no matter how you slice it, if you're a man.
Fair Progress
16-06-2006, 19:46
Around 18 seems fine to me. If people below 18 are too young to drive or drink alcohol they're certainly too young to marry someone...
Smunkeeville
16-06-2006, 19:47
I had gallstones. They tell me it's somewhat like that. :)
I have had both gallstones and children, and gallstones while painful, are nothing like 60 hours of labor.
Smunkeeville
16-06-2006, 19:48
l

Maybe for women, but there’s no reason for a man to get married. When two people marry, it’s like forming a corporation, where each of you owns half. Now, at least in the US, the man usually had more to begin with. So, after the statistically probabile divorce, he loses more than the women, and in most states, is going to have to pay quite a bit of alimony even if she is employed. Marriage does not make good business sense, no matter how you slice it, if you're a man.
I am sure the divorce rate is quite high among people looking to "cash in" by getting married. In fact, I would bet that most of the people who get divorced do so because they are too busy looking for what they can get out of the marriage.
Neo Undelia
16-06-2006, 19:53
I am sure the divorce rate is quite high among people looking to "cash in" by getting married. In fact, I would bet that most of the people who get divorced do so because they are too busy looking for what they can get out of the marriage.
Right. Marrying for economic stability has to be the absolute worst reason to do it.
Pride and Prejudice
16-06-2006, 19:54
*Looks at the rate of divorce*
lol

Maybe for women, but there’s no reason for a man to get married. When two people marry, it’s like forming a corporation, where each of you owns half. Now, at least in the US, the man usually had more to begin with. So, after the statistically probabile divorce, he loses more than the women, and in most states, is going to have to pay quite a bit of alimony even if she is employed. Marriage does not make good business sense, no matter how you slice it, if you're a man.

Hence pre-nups!

And there are for men. Ah, here's my rule - if you can't figure out why marrying the person is a good thing, you are too young to get married. (And you definitely shouldn't marry the person...)
Um, go out with the person for AT LEAST 2 years prior to engagement, don't marry before 21 (although I'd really go with 25 - brains are finally reaching their most stable point at 25, so it isn't likely that either of you will change too dramatically after 25, whereas before, well...)
Um, I think that's about it. And yes, maturity does matter a lot more than chronological age.
Iztatepopotla
16-06-2006, 19:56
I have had both gallstones and children, and gallstones while painful, are nothing like 60 hours of labor.
60 hours! :eek:
Couldn't you, I don't know, eaten more fibre, butter the kid up, or something?
Kapsilan
16-06-2006, 20:03
As a general rule, I don't think that government should regulate marriage. If a church will marry a man and a woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman, two men and a woman, two women and a man, et cetera if they're 12, that's the stance of that church. Otherwise, there's common law marriages like that gitl got. There's no need for the state to regulate marriage.
Zincite
16-06-2006, 20:07
I think 18 should be the minimum age, freedom of adulthood and all that. Realistically, though, I think most people aren't ready to marry until they're 20-22. My parents were 22 and 25 when they married. I briefly had a friend who was 18 and engaged, but then she inexplicably broke up and went and screwed some other guy the next week. That's a perfect example of why I think people shouldn't marry straight out of high school. You have to live as an adult for a while before you decide to partner up with someone else for the rest of your lives. I know that's an idealistic interpretation of marriage, but that is how I see it. My biological parents don't live together anymore, but they were never married.

I probably don't know what I'm talking about since I'm only 16, but there's my $0.02.
Smunkeeville
16-06-2006, 20:09
As a general rule, I don't think that government should regulate marriage. If a church will marry a man and a woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman, two men and a woman, two women and a man, et cetera if they're 12, that's the stance of that church. Otherwise, there's common law marriages like that gitl got. There's no need for the state to regulate marriage.
see? and I am complete opposite. I think the government should regulate marriage, but it should be a legal thing, churches shouldn't have anything to do with legal marriages.
Not bad
16-06-2006, 20:12
I don't think anyone under 25 should get married, but for consistency we should keep the limit at 18.

I agree completely
Sumamba Buwhan
16-06-2006, 20:21
I think the minimum age should be 15 with parental consent- so what if it fails - there's always divorce. A divorce might be good experience for a youngster.
Jello Biafra
16-06-2006, 20:26
The ruling of the Colorado court (and of English common law) seems fine to me.
Mulus
16-06-2006, 20:36
9 is far too young
R0cka
16-06-2006, 20:47
This thread is not about gay marriage. Run along.


ROTFLMFAO

Thank you.
R0cka
16-06-2006, 20:48
A divorce might be good experience for a youngster.

Only in crazy-upside-down world.
Sumamba Buwhan
16-06-2006, 20:51
Only in crazy-upside-down world.


So in your normal, right-side up world, people dont learn from their mistakes? No wonder :p
Francis Street
16-06-2006, 20:52
18 should be the youngest age, I suppose 16 with parents permission. There is no reason to be married any earlier than this.
Citizenship!
R0cka
16-06-2006, 20:54
So in your normal, right-side up world, people dont learn from their mistakes? No wonder :p

Just because you learn from a mistake doesn't make it a good thing.

A divorce is never a good experience, especially for two minors who don't know there ass from there elbows.
Sumamba Buwhan
16-06-2006, 20:57
Just because you learn from a mistake doesn't make it a good thing.

A divorce is never a good experience, especially for two minors who don't know there ass from there elbows.


It's not a good thing to learn from your mistakes? WEll I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree here.

I never said divorces were fun. :confused:
R0cka
16-06-2006, 21:10
It's not a good thing to learn from your mistakes?

That's a good thing.

But the mistake it self is not.


WEll I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree here.

That's my favorite way to disagree.

I never said divorces were fun. :confused:

You said a divorce might be a good experience for a youngster.

Which I thought strange.
Sumamba Buwhan
16-06-2006, 21:14
That's a good thing.

But the mistake it self is not.




That's my favorite way to disagree.



You said a divorce might be a good experience for a youngster.

Which I thought strange.


Mistakes are good if you learn from them. ALso a divorce might be a good experience for a youngster if it teaches them something valuable. The youngster may not think so but I wasn't saying that a divorce would be like a day at Disneyland and they are goign to come away from the experience saying "Boy that was fun, I hope I can find another spouse I dont get along with so I can get divorced again."

One can learn a lot from a divorce and good things can come from divorces as well. Too many variables to list but it's not hard to imagine with a bit of effort.
Ruloah
16-06-2006, 21:57
Marriage is a contract between two people to stay faithful to each other for the rest of your lives. And, even if you don't believe in any of the spiritual or committment aspects of it, it is also a financial contract that brings a certain degree of security.

All true.

The reason for the high divorce rate is that people don't take the commitment portion seriously any more, and/or they marry too soon after hooking up.

If you have a committed partner, it offers security for both, not just the wife. My wife is the better business partner, she is an excellent negotiator, while I am usually quiet.

She gets us all kinds of bargains, from a nicer house to cars way below asking price to better prices for service (plumbers etc).

She is a blessing for me...;) :fluffle:

Oh, and on the OT, 30 is a good age for marriage. Youngsters have no idea what they are getting into...