NationStates Jolt Archive

This may be a foolish post, but I need advice, and I would like it from people who I will never meet (and probably don't want to meet;) ) because asking someone I do know would be awkward.
See, I have a little problem. There's this black girl in my school who has caught my eye, and I am quite infatuated with her. Normally, I would approach her and talk to her, but it would be kind of awkward because I'm white, and I don't know what her friends will think. I'm afraid that she'll automatically just tell me to f*** off, and leave me looking like a complete idiot. So, what do you think my chances actually are? Should I go for it, or should I just have to live with the occasional glance I may get at her in the hall? I don't have any classes with her or anything, so there's no connection between us, which makes this so difficult.

Advice is appreciated. Thanks.

This may be a foolish post, but I need advice, and I would like it from people who I will never meet (and probably don't want to meet;) ) because asking someone I do know would be awkward.
See, I have a little problem. There's this black girl in my school who has caught my eye, and I am quite infatuated with her. Normally, I would approach her and talk to her, but it would be kind of awkward because I'm white, and I don't know what her friends will think. I'm afraid that she'll automatically just tell me to f*** off, and leave me looking like a complete idiot. So, what do you think my chances actually are? Should I go for it, or should I just have to live with the occasional glance I may get at her in the hall? I don't have any classes with her or anything, so there's no connection between us, which makes this so difficult.

Advice is appreciated. Thanks.
How approachable are you?
I don't really know enough about the environment you're in, but i wouldn't worry too much about it. Often, a girl will let you know if she's listening to you or not, although subtly.

And if you're afraid of making a spectacle of yourself, perhaps courtship isn't the thing for you.

Black girls in my area would tell you to fuck off before you said anything. I assume this one's different...Of course, in assuming that, I can't help you, as I have nothing to based anything on so this is mostly for the +1 now.

Well I have a black female friend, around 15. She is definitely into whites, even to the point that she prefers them over blacks. She says it's the whole ghetto culture that puts her off the latter, but also she prefers white features as she finds them more attractive. So this girl you are after may be into you. Or maybe not; some don't like the idea of going out with non-blacks. Also, it depends on you.

Just talk to her. No reason not to. Yes some black girls date white guys. However from what I saw back in highschool a lot is that the black guys tended to be very protective of black girls. Don't really know why. Then again we didn't even have that many good looking black girls either so that wasn't a huge loss.

i doesnt matter if "black girls" like "white guys". what matters is if THIS girl like YOU.

ask her out. the worst that will happen is that she and her friends will cut you dead. no big dea.

Does she hang around mixed races or not? Does she dress cliqueish? use some common sense first to see if you are are going to be culture shocked or not by surveying her environment. [/stalker talk]

Just talk to her. No reason not to. Yes some black girls date white guys. However from what I saw back in highschool a lot is that the black guys tended to be very protective of black girls. Don't really know why. Then again we didn't even have that many good looking black girls either so that wasn't a huge loss.
Man oh man, though, this one is just perfect. You have no idea. She doesn't have supermodel looks, but she is slim, and she has a pleasant face, and she has that uhh...innocent look, I guess. It's really seductive, and I am dying to get to know her, but I am also dying of apprehension, and this whole situation really just pisses me off. Why do I have to be attracted to her, of all people? Goddamn it.

You'll have to excuse my rant. At my school, there are a lot of black guys with white girls, and I have some black friends, so I don't think it would be a very big deal.

Just ask her out, the worst thing that could happen is that she says, "No."

Then get on that man!!!!! If you like a hot chick, see if she likes you!!! If she doesn't, bah whatever!!! If she does..... Kick ass!!!!

i doesnt matter if "black girls" like "white guys". what matters is if THIS girl like YOU.

ask her out. the worst that will happen is that she and her friends will cut you dead. no big dea.
Um...that's scary enough for me to not ask her.
Does she hang around mixed races or not? Does she dress cliqueish? use some common sense first to see if you are are going to be culture shocked or not by surveying her environment. [/stalker talk]
No, she dresses like a "good girl", and she's pretty(and)quiet, but her friends are mostly black girls. Which is why I feel hesitant about talking with her.

Yes. Black girls have had crushes on me, and I look white. In older generations, I have noticed, a majority of black women do not trust most white people. But anyway, I think that indivisuals have preferences, not groups. Just talk to her.

Black people are not dangerous. However, if she associates with people who may belong to gangs, I might stay away. Trust me on this one, it's a very bad idea.

Yes. Black girls have had crushes on me, and I look white. In older generations, I have noticed, a majority of black women do not trust most white people. But anyway, I think that indivisuals have preferences, not groups. Just talk to her.
Ok. That's encouraging. Thanks.

Man oh man, though, this one is just perfect. You have no idea. She doesn't have supermodel looks, but she is slim, and she has a pleasant face, and she has that uhh...innocent look, I guess. It's really seductive, and I am dying to get to know her, but I am also dying of apprehension, and this whole situation really just pisses me off. Why do I have to be attracted to her, of all people? Goddamn it.

You'll have to excuse my rant. At my school, there are a lot of black guys with white girls, and I have some black friends, so I don't think it would be a very big deal.
Hmmm...I was really saying at my old school there weren't many lookers that were black or to phrase it better there weren't many black girls that had the looks I like. If she has what you want in a girl go for it. I have no idea if the highschool politics in yours is like mine was.

Does she hang around mixed races or not? Does she dress cliqueish? use some common sense first to see if you are are going to be culture shocked or not by surveying her environment. [/stalker talk]

great advice..

i myself am very attracted to black women,and i am also white.

however their are not very many where i live so i guess i am sol,and the ones that are ,are hooked up with rich white and black guys...i live in a wealthy area....bummer for me as i am not wealthy.

i am also strangely attracted to asian women,weird combo of attractions for a white guy maybe,but it is what it is.

Can you make her laugh?*

Because if you can thats a sure sign of positivey goodness.

*and I don't mean laugh at you.

Obviously this is part of some underlying anti-race programming...I can't stand black girls, and some of them like white guys...and white guys are always talking about black girls...Must be something for genetic diversity...

great advice..

i myself am very attracted to black women,and i am also white.

however their are not very many where i live so i guess i am sol,and the ones that are ,are hooked up with rich white and black guys...i live in a wealthy area....bummer for me as i am not wealthy.

i am also strangely attracted to asian women,weird combo of attractions for a white guy maybe,but it is what it is.
Variety is the spice of life;)
Hmmm...I was really saying at my old school there weren't many lookers that were black or to phrase it better there weren't many black girls that had the looks I like. If she has what you want in a girl go for it. I have no idea if the highschool politics in yours is like mine was.

Ok, I get it. Thanks, buddy.

Can you make her laugh?*

Because if you can thats a sure sign of positivey goodness.

*and I don't mean laugh at you.
Not at first. I would have to get to know her, first.
Obviously this is part of some underlying anti-race programming...I can't stand black girls, and some of them like white guys...and white guys are always talking about black girls...Must be something for genetic diversity...
You call it genetic diversity, I call it exotic appeal.

Um...that's scary enough for me to not ask her.

No, she dresses like a "good girl", and she's pretty(and)quiet, but her friends are mostly black girls. Which is why I feel hesitant about talking with her.

I've met girls like that too, and what I've generally found is that you can be friends with them but not more than that. Good luck to you, though.

Obviously this is part of some underlying anti-race programming...I can't stand black girls, and some of them like white guys...and white guys are always talking about black girls...Must be something for genetic diversity...
Same here...I'm only attracted to other whites.

Obviously this is part of some underlying anti-race programming...I can't stand black girls, and some of them like white guys...and white guys are always talking about black girls...Must be something for genetic diversity...

I have found the reason I am not attracted to them is (at least the ones around here) dont have the soft faces that I look for in my women.

I have found the reason I am not attracted to them is (at least the ones around here) dont have the soft faces that I look for in my women.
Um...yeah they definetely do. You need to look harder.

My wife, upon seeing my appreciation for Halle Berry in Bulworth and Catwoman (surprisingly, i haven't yet seen Swordfish), says she was born with the wrong complexion.
I try to even it out by pointing out Jessica Alba from Idle Hands and Honey, and of course, Kari Byron ... and that pretty much ends the conversation for the night.
I even try bringing up Famke Janssen from Deep Rising, and even though she agrees with me about Charlize Thereon (and a few others), i just never seem to be able to reinitiate the conversation. So i'm left alone with my spammers here online. :(


Uhm what i'm saying, roundabouty, is that a person's complexion, heritage, and similar issues don't necessarily define what kind of response i'm supposed to have as a male. For example - Madonna =/= hot.
Hot is as hottie does.

My wife, upon seeing my appreciation for Halle Berry in Bulworth and Catwoman (surprisingly, i haven't yet seen Swordfish), says she was born with the wrong complexion.
I try to even it out by pointing out Jessica Alba from Idle Hands and Honey, and of course, Kari Byron ... and that pretty much ends the conversation for the night.
I even try bringing up Famke Janssen from Deep Rising, and even though she agrees with me about Charlize Thereon (and a few others), i just never seem to be able to reinitiate the conversation. So i'm left alone with my spammers here online. :(


Uhm what i'm saying, roundabouty, is that a person's complexion, heritage, and similar issues don't necessarily define what kind of response i'm supposed to have as a male. For example - Madonna =/= hot.
Hot is as hottie does.
Ok, I see what you mean.

well,

I'm white/ native american (and no, not like most whit epeople say"i'm part indian", I'm 3 8ths) and I have never ahd an issue with girls in other races, personally I'd go after her like any other girl, your best chance is to actually consider HER feelings

Does she show signs of likeing you at all?

Ok, I see what you mean.
Ooh - i'm seeing a possible misinterpretation of what i said earlier ... when i said my wife said she was born with the wrong complexion, i meant "my wife said SHE (as in my wife) was born with the wrong complexion.
I'm not saying that anyone got it wrong other than me - just thought i'd clarify.

i doesnt matter if "black girls" like "white guys". what matters is if THIS girl like YOU.

ask her out. the worst that will happen is that she and her friends will cut you dead. no big dea.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Just ask her out, the worst thing that could happen is that she says, "No."

Not true. You don't live in the city, do you?

Race shouldn't have to matter in a relationship. I don't look at skin color, I look at what makes them them. The content of their heart, if they share feelings for me too, etc. If so, then I'll date a black chick or a girl from any other race. Don't be afraid to go up to her and talk. Her friends couldn't possibly get in your face about it.

I can tell you from personal experience that at least some do.:cool:

I can tell you from personal experience that at least some do.:cool:

Meh, you're right...

I don't have much experience with inter-racial dating. My high school was about 90%+ white. However, I still wouldn't judge a book by its' cover.

This may be a foolish post, but I need advice, and I would like it from people who I will never meet (and probably don't want to meet;) ) because asking someone I do know would be awkward.
See, I have a little problem. There's this black girl in my school who has caught my eye, and I am quite infatuated with her. Normally, I would approach her and talk to her, but it would be kind of awkward because I'm white,

Advice is appreciated. Thanks.


Where the hell do you live?!?

The south circa 1950?

Are you a nice guy?

Your hesitation seems to indicate that you are NOT an arrogant prick, so that's one thing working for you.

Dude, seriously, she will like or not like you for yourself. If she doesnt give you a chance because you are white, then she is definately not worth your time. I gather asking girls out is difficult, scary, and potentially embarassing. But the way I see it, there are three options. 1) you ask her out, she says yes, and you live happily ever after, 2) you ask her out, she says no, you are embarassed and heartbroken for a short period of time, until you notice some other incredibly hot girl, or 3) you don't ask her out, and never know what could have been. Seems to me 3 is the worst option. Go for it. What have you got to loose?

It's better to ask and her say no, than to never ask and never know.

All the "ghetto" ones won't give you a first thought.

I should warn you, if you two do go out, be prepared for people to tease you and make jokes. I dated a black guy all thru highschool. At first it was mostly "oooo she's got jungle fever!" After a couple months most people let me alone tho. Also, whenever I told people my dad didn't like him, they'd all go "Why, cuz he was black??" So offensive! He didn't like him cuz no man will ever be good enough for his baby girl, wouldnt've been different if he were white or asian or hispanic or african or anything.

Also, my personal favorite, was one time my friend got all excited with her brilliant idea. "We should take a picture of you two holding hands and it can be captioned The Color of Love" Hilarious.

I should warn you, if you two do go out, be prepared for people to tease you and make jokes. I dated a black guy all thru highschool. At first it was mostly "oooo she's got jungle fever!" After a couple months most people let me alone tho. Also, whenever I told people my dad didn't like him, they'd all go "Why, cuz he was black??" So offensive! He didn't like him cuz no man will ever be good enough for his baby girl, wouldnt've been different if he were white or asian or hispanic or african or anything.

Also, my personal favorite, was one time my friend got all excited with her brilliant idea. "We should take a picture of you two holding hands and it can be captioned The Color of Love" Hilarious.
Hah, great story.
Where the hell do you live?!?

The south circa 1950?
no.

The simple thing to do is to talk to her. You should be able to get an idea of skin will be an issue.

I had the same situation back in college. She was enchanting. We were going to do something simple but her friends and family were racist and labeled her a traitor to her color. The friends I understood. Her family was surprisingly nasty about it.

Damn shame. I really didn't care she was black.

Just the way I was raised I guess.......

i doesnt matter if "black girls" like "white guys". what matters is if THIS girl like YOU.

ask her out. the worst that will happen is that she and her friends will cut you dead. no big dea.

Bingo.

And I'll third or fourth the suggestion to be ready for both friendly teasing and hostile reactions from some.

You're really not dating a race so much as you are dating a culture when you date interracially. Some cultures will not mesh well. My GF is black, but she's labelled a "race traitor" by other blacks in our area because she isn't ghetto. She grew up in a very white county in Virginia. Her name is a "white" name. On the phone, she sounds "white" when she speaks. She wears preppy or business-style clothing. Her mannerisms and demeanor are like those associated with white Americans. Along with a slew of other properties, essentially there aren't a whole lot of cultural differences between us, and we get along pretty well.

On the other hand, a really ghetto girl would probably have difficulty pairing up with a suburban white guy and vice versa.

Typically, the more white people she grew up with and spends time around, the more likely she is going to be cool with being attracted to a white person.

Your hesitation seems to indicate that you are NOT an arrogant prick, so that's one thing working for you.
What? Arrogant pricks get tons of chicks and if there’s anything that turns a chick off it’s hesitation and lack of confidence.