NationStates Jolt Archive

I was looking in another thread and the person said they wern't looking for sex, just a relationship.

But doesn't that just make it a friendship, not a relationship?


Or am I wrong?

You're right about your idea, but wrong about what the poster posted. He said he didn't want sex and to not be in a reltionship.

Friendship and sex are both different aspects of a relationship. Everyone has some sort of relationship with everyone else, even if it only is "X and Y are mutally unaware of each other's existance."

Depends on how integral sex is to a romantic relationship for you, I would guess.

You're right about your idea, but wrong about what the poster posted. He said he didn't want sex and to not be in a reltionship.
Ah.

*goes back to re-read*

Wheeee! A poll! I love polls!@

Three people have voted no! I wouldn't be very happy in a relationship with them...:(

None of my relationships thus far have been sexual....But um...Now I am starting to turn into a helpless, horny young man, that needs sex to survive...or something :p

Actually I suppose it depends on your age. Under-sixteens shouldn't be having sex. They should just hold hands and such.

Sexual thought exists or not at any given moment. It is hardly a concious choice. That being said I cant see being in a platonic marriage but to each their own.

Ok, I guess I should explain a bit.


I'm afraid of sex, as in, terrified (not phobic). The main hang-up is, I can't actually say "I love you" or anything like that without the possibility of losing a friend and getting a knee in my nuts. Hell, I can only give a hug when she's having some trouble with something.

My friend has been married for over 10 years and sex isn't a part of their marriage... infact, she told him that she was ok if he picked up a mistress... and to my knowledge, he hasn't.


and technically, Friendships are relationships.

In friendships - not at all. They can actually be detrimental.

But in a stable, loving relationship then yeah, I suppose that it does. Just as long as it's clear that nobody's getting "used", then it does the power of good to a relationship.

Actually I suppose it depends on your age. Under-sixteens shouldn't be having sex. They should just hold hands and such.
Maturity and age are quite different.

That said, me and my girlfriend did wait until her sixteenth, which was two years, but I didn't really mind.

Ah, semantics; a lovely way to end the night.

A "relationship" doesn't entail sex or relationship.
I could have a relationship with a pet, a mailman, or my bank teller. Those relationships don't include sex or friendship.

If you're talking about a love-relationship, those have different facets too.
I have a love-relationship with my family, which may or may not include friendship, and certainly doesn't include sex. I have a love-relationship with my friends, which certainly includes friendship, but may or may not include sex.

If you're talking about a partner-relationship, things get more complicated.
I could have a partner relationship with a girl (and maybe guy, though I doubt it, and that's for another thread). If it were a "true" relationship, it would necessitate love and friendship (see Ethics.) But what about sex? Are we remaining celibate until marriage? Abstinent for life? Fucking each other's brains out on a daily basis? That really depends on the two people. Some people just don't like sex, but love and like their partners on a deeper and more intimate level than other friends.

For the record, I chose "Other."

Sex = swapping two body fluids

No sex Relationship = swapping one body fluid

Friendship = swapping no body fluids

Sick = swapping body solids

Sex = swapping two body fluids

No sex Relationship = swapping one body fluid

Friendship = swapping no body fluids

Sick = swapping body solids

Hahaha. So waterplay is okay? :D

I voted other, because I was too lazy to work out what I really thought

Yes..
Both my longest relationships have been sexual.. I think it's reasonably important.

I guess it differs from person to person.

For me, a romantic relationship without sex wouldn't work, smple as that. If I'm romantically involved with someone, we need to get along on many levels, and a healthy sexual appetite has to be part of that.

I guess it differs from person to person.

For me, a romantic relationship without sex wouldn't work, smple as that. If I'm romantically involved with someone, we need to get along on many levels, and a healthy sexual appetite has to be part of that.

Here here... Why are some people just not that interested in sex? :(

Here here... Why are some people just not that interested in sex?

Survival adaption. People who didn't waste time fighting over mates had more to collect food and less injuries making them stronger and healthier. As a result the opposite sex would find them attractive and chase after them and manage to get enough sex out of them for reproductive purposes.

Or more likely culture has screwed peoples minds up.

Survival adaption. People who didn't waste time fighting over mates had more to collect food and less injuries making them stronger and healthier. As a result the opposite sex would find them attractive and chase after them and manage to get enough sex out of them for reproductive purposes.

Or more likely culture has screwed peoples minds up.
Agreed. The latter is much more likely.

having sex with someone doesn't necessarily mean having a relationship

but having a relationship, for me, means having sexual goodness. just.... part of it.