NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok, you are sitting on the toilet at work; take a BIG dump and flush. The gurgle of the toilet doesn't sound right so you gently rise and look. The toilet is full of.... and water. There is a plunger behind the toilet and a trash can nearby. What do you do?

If you flush again, the toilet will overflow. Do you wipe your butt and throw the toilet paper into the toilet? Do you wipe your butt and throw the toilet paper into the trashcan?

Then what? Do you then grab the plunger or just get up, wash your hands and leave?

Alternatively, do you get up, plunge the toilet, flush it, and then wipe your butt?

What is the best strategy?

Serious and non-serious answers accepted.

I sacrifice a lamb and pray to the toilet god for a sign

Shit-and-run.

I just go on my neighbor's doormat.

I just go on my neighbor's doormat.
Your neighbor must be EXTREMELY angry.

Leave that debauched throne and pass the buck to the unfortunate soul who next discovers it...

You wipe your butt, hold the paper in one hand, take the plunger with the other hand and plunge it and then toss the paper in the toilet once its unclogged.

Your neighbor must be EXTREMELY angry.

:mp5: :sniper: :sniper: :mp5: :mp5: :eek: :p :p

:mp5: :sniper: :sniper: :mp5: :mp5: :eek: :p :p

omg :eek:

You wipe your butt, hold the paper in one hand, take the plunger with the other hand and plunge it and then toss the paper in the toilet once its unclogged.
True wisdom has come to you. SURELY.

I crap all over Phoenix Milita's ship designs. Maybe that's why they suck so bad...

:mp5: :sniper: :sniper: :mp5: :mp5: :eek: :p :p
Describe what you are doing right now in words, please.

Ok, you are sitting on the toilet at work; take a BIG dump and flush. The gurgle of the toilet doesn't sound right so you gently rise and look. The toilet is full of.... and water. There is a plunger behind the toilet and a trash can nearby. What do you do?

If you flush again, the toilet will overflow. Do you wipe your butt and throw the toilet paper into the toilet? Do you wipe your butt and throw the toilet paper into the trashcan?

Then what? Do you then grab the plunger or just get up, wash your hands and leave?

Alternatively, do you get up, plunge the toilet, flush it, and then wipe your butt?

What is the best strategy?

Serious and non-serious answers accepted.well, I would plunger the toliet and then flush a couple of times, rinsing the plunger in the bowl then place the plunger back.

oh, and when I flush, I would've already wiped my but.

Describe what you are doing right now in words, please.

I'm the angry neighbor who got my door mat crapped on. :p

You wipe your butt, hold the paper in one hand, take the plunger with the other hand and plunge it and then toss the paper in the toilet once its unclogged.
On the surface this seems like a good idea. That is, until you realise you would standing there, with a wad of that barely one-ply toilet tissue engorged with your own excrement...

:mp5: :sniper: :sniper: :mp5: :mp5: :eek: :p :p
Oh yeah.




http://www.world-of-smilies.com/html/images/smilies/gewalt/ultima.gif (http://www.World-of-Smilies.com)

Ha.

On the surface this seems like a good idea. That is, until you realise you would standing there, with a wad of that barely one-ply toilet tissue engorged with your own excrement...

And in most restrooms, there is no plunger next to the toilet...that means you've either got to walk to the place where the plunger is with the TP or get the janitor while holding the TP...

On the surface this seems like a good idea. That is, until you realise you would standing there, with a wad of that barely one-ply toilet tissue engorged with your own excrement...

ROFLMAO. :p

I'm the angry neighbor who got my door mat crapped on. :p
Oh. Well, ya better keep yer kool. then.

Oh, and CRAP ON THEIR DOORMAT AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT!!!!!!

And in most restrooms, there is no plunger next to the toilet...that means you've either got to walk to the place where the plunger is with the TP or get the janitor while holding the TP...

Find the janitor at work while holding TP in your hand....:p

Oh. Well, ya better keep yer kool. then.

Oh, and CRAP ON THEIR DOORMAT AND SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT!!!!!!
Y'know, if someone crapped on my doormat in revenge, I would crap on their car, and wait the next night on the second floor, looking out the window. Next to me, I'd have a rifle and a spotlight.

When they show up, I'd wait till they had their pants around their ankles, then hit 'em with the spotlight, and fire a warning shot.

Remove the blockage with your hand (remember to take your watch off first). Then don't wash your hand and be very friendly to you coworkers: pats in the back, handshakes, touching their food, etc.

Oh yeah.
Ha.

That smilie wins. I'm swiping that.

Immediately open the lid to the tank, drop the plunger that is allowing the water to flow to the bowl, lift the float to stop the water into the tank, wait a few minutes (the water will usually drain slowly), and then plunge.

And in most restrooms, there is no plunger next to the toilet...that means you've either got to walk to the place where the plunger is with the TP or get the janitor while holding the TP...
Except the scenario states the Plunger is behind the toilet :rolleyes:


On the surface this seems like a good idea. That is, until you realise you would standing there, with a wad of that barely one-ply toilet tissue engorged with your own excrement...
Would not be a problem becasue if its that cheap thin toilet paper i se half the roll per wipe, but I usually have charmin on me. :cool:

Except the scenario states the Plunger is behind the toilet :rolleyes:

In a lot of places, they don't have them in there. Of course, if it's a one person room it might be different but in most large restrooms I've never seen a plunger.

Try to get yourself out of the toilet first?

God...economics....the President...what to do when the toilet clogs up. ROFLOL.

i say you pretend nothing is wrong then the next time you need to go to the bathroom blame it on the person who used it before you..

Except the scenario states the Plunger is behind the toilet :rolleyes:



Would not be a problem becasue if its that cheap thin toilet paper i se half the roll per wipe, but I usually have charmin on me. :cool:

Oh! Thank the gods for Charmin Ultra and wet ones. :)

In a lot of places, they don't have them in there. Of course, if it's a one person room it might be different but in most large restrooms I've never seen a plunger.

Nope! This one was a single person one and I was lucky enough there was a plunger behind the toilet. If the plunger had not been there the outcome could have been ....well....ugly. :eek:

poopoo bump :D

this all depends, maybe you dont have to wipe, what if it was a clean poop that doesnt leave any residue. then all you have to choose from is unclogging or leaving it for the guy that gets paid to do such a thing (or in some places the unfortunate guy that probably screwed something up and now has to pay for it).

but if it was a messy poop i would just wipe my ass and leave the tp on the floor next to the clogged toilet.

If there's really a plunger in the vicinity of the toilet, wipe once or twice to get the loose stuff, toss the paper in the toilet, grab the plunger, and *slowly* (you don't wanna go fast, or you'll get shit all over you) put it in the bowl. Plunge very slowly, but surely, and the clog will be removed. Flush. Wipe as much as necessary, wash your hands, and pretend like nothing ever happened.

...However, if there's no plunger, you might as well do something you'd never think of doing in your entire life: Drop your ass in the bowl and slosh around. Hey, what else can you do? :p

this all depends, maybe you dont have to wipe, what if it was a clean poop that doesnt leave any residue. then all you have to choose from is unclogging or leaving it for the guy that gets paid to do such a thing (or in some places the unfortunate guy that probably screwed something up and now has to pay for it).

but if it was a messy poop i would just wipe my ass and leave the tp on the floor next to the clogged toilet.

For starters, there's no such thing as a "clean poop". I'm guessing you don't prime your TP with water or cream, which gets everything out of there (the clean feeling is a level far beyond that of dry wiping).

And about leaving the used TP on the floor... Do you want to possibly give somebody a disease? If you can't unclog the toilet, you throw the TP in regardless. Jesus Fucking Christ.

Always wipe your ass after doing your toilet business, there isn't anything grosser than not wiping your behind and getting the brown stuff everywhere... nasty...

and then yes, after you wipe, plunge the fucker, flush... do a 3-second handwash and then innocently walk out the door with no one suspecting a thing. ;)

Did it ever occur to any of those who responded to this thread that maybe, before they the flush the toilet to wipe their own ass. That completely removes the problem of being stuck holding onto some piece of shit covered paper while trying to find a solution to unclogging the toilet; which in most cases is leave it be, and let the next unfortunate soul become the bearer of toilet troubles.

Leave that debauched throne and pass the buck to the unfortunate soul who next discovers it...
Unfortunately, I am usually that next person that comes along. This past year in the dorm I have had four seperate occassions where someone didn't flush. Needless to say, I went to the next stall over and left the offending toilet for someone else. :rolleyes: :cool: :D

Where I come from... public washrooms don't come with a plunger in the stall... so if it clogs then it clogs... and I run as fast as I can to get away from the brown liquid of doom! :eek:

I've yet to come accross a public toilet that I wouldn't feel confident flushing silverware down... maybe I'm just lucky.

Where I come from... public washrooms don't come with a plunger in the stall... so if it clogs then it clogs... and I run as fast as I can to get away from the brown liquid of doom! :eek:

You should see the bathroom at the park by the bay in Corpus Christi. Pretty much every toilet is clogged, some of them having shit piled to the rim. That's the fricking nastiest public bathroom I've ever been in.

I don't use public bathrooms.

But I guess you could be lazy and wait till the bathroom is emtpy, just you in it, wait till someone walks in and you flush a urinal, completely removing any thought that you clogged the toilet.

Meh.

We have outhouses where I work, so if I overflowed one of those, I'd probably call Guinness. :eek:

I don't use public bathrooms.

But I guess you could be lazy and wait till the bathroom is emtpy, just you in it, wait till someone walks in and you flush a urinal, completely removing any thought that you clogged the toilet.

Meh.

Or, you could take a massive dump in a urinal when nobody's around. Now THAT would be something to see.

We have outhouses where I work, so if I overflowed one of those, I'd probably call Guinness. :eek:

What the hell are you waiting for? Start filling up on the bratwurst and enchiladas!

Or, you could take a massive dump in a urinal when nobody's around. Now THAT would be something to see.
Someone shit in the sink at my school one day..

Someone shit in the sink at my school one day..

.

.

.

.

.

.
Oh, and in a library book.

Oh, and in a library book.

What the fuck...

Call a professional plumber ... that's what I do.

Always leave problems in the hands of people more equipped to deail with it.

For starters, there's no such thing as a "clean poop". I'm guessing you don't prime your TP with water or cream, which gets everything out of there (the clean feeling is a level far beyond that of dry wiping).

And about leaving the used TP on the floor... Do you want to possibly give somebody a disease? If you can't unclog the toilet, you throw the TP in regardless. Jesus Fucking Christ.

yeah! there are no clean poops! I use feminine wipes or baby wipes(cheaper).

Oh, and in a library book.


WTF. First I've heard that. I did go into a dressing room once and find something. Can't remember what store it was though..

Nasty ass people!

What the fuck...
True story.

*nods*

WTF. First I've heard that. I did go into a dressing room once and find something. Can't remember what store it was though..

Nasty ass people!
"I asked for a dressing room, not a toilet."

:p

Y'know, if someone crapped on my doormat in revenge, I would crap on their car, and wait the next night on the second floor, looking out the window. Next to me, I'd have a rifle and a spotlight.

When they show up, I'd wait till they had their pants around their ankles, then hit 'em with the spotlight, and fire a warning shot.
Good plan! (If you have a rifle permit.):D :D

Good plan! (If you have a rifle permit.):D :D
Rifle permits not necessary in Virginia (or most US states except New York)

Rifle permits not necessary in Virginia (or most US states except New York)
You live in Virgina? Wow!

World record for most virgins in 1 out of 50 United States Of America!!

Or as I like to call it: The United SMerica.

Quickly, before anyone finds it, rush to the break room, grab a plastic utensil, run back to the john, chop up the gigantic turd, dig out the TP, or whatever is blocking the water, flush. Then you can do one of two things:

1) Throw the shit dipped utensil in the trash, or

2) Wipe it off and discreetly place it in your bosses top draw next to his collection of ketchup packets.

C-4 works for me.

We have a saying at our house:

"POOP, FLUSH. WIPE, FLUSH"

this all depends, maybe you dont have to wipe, what if it was a clean poop that doesnt leave any residue. then all you have to choose from is unclogging or leaving it for the guy that gets paid to do such a thing (or in some places the unfortunate guy that probably screwed something up and now has to pay for it).

but if it was a messy poop i would just wipe my ass and leave the tp on the floor next to the clogged toilet.

OH JEEZUS! ROFLMAO

Ok, you are sitting on the toilet at work; take a BIG dump and flush. The gurgle of the toilet doesn't sound right so you gently rise and look. The toilet is full of.... and water. There is a plunger behind the toilet and a trash can nearby. What do you do?

If you flush again, the toilet will overflow. Do you wipe your butt and throw the toilet paper into the toilet? Do you wipe your butt and throw the toilet paper into the trashcan?

Then what? Do you then grab the plunger or just get up, wash your hands and leave?

Alternatively, do you get up, plunge the toilet, flush it, and then wipe your butt?

What is the best strategy?

Serious and non-serious answers accepted.

Best thing to do is come out of there after just dropping it all in the toilet, if someone sees you tell them: "Some bastard clogged the toilet".

Technically it's true, so you'll be doing the christian thing.

For starters, there's no such thing as a "clean poop". I'm guessing you don't prime your TP with water or cream, which gets everything out of there (the clean feeling is a level far beyond that of dry wiping).

WTF??? ROLFMAO-PIMP (peein in my pants)