NationStates Jolt Archive

.... by zombies. One has broken into your home and is lurching toward you, moaning, "braaaaaiiiinnnnssss ....."

What do you do??

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombieinvasion.jpg

Throw the gerbil at it and run for your life!

Umm...push it out? How the heck do zombies even get at your brain anyways? They're all decayed and stuff, they couldn't even punch you, much less open your head.

Throw the gerbil at it and run for your life!
The zombie dispatches the gerbil with ease. And unfortunately, there are many zombies in your front yard, making escape impossible.

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombies.jpg

There must be something you can do with those flower pettles...

Umm...push it out? How the heck do zombies even get at your brain anyways? They're all decayed and stuff, they couldn't even punch you, much less open your head.
They bite you and turn you into a zombie. You have to remove the head or destroy the brain to kill a zombie for good.

They bite you and turn you into a zombie. You have to remove the head or destroy the brain to kill a zombie for good.

...Kick their teeth out.

...Kick their teeth out.
Uh ... well ... they ... uh ...

Well, that never happens in movies, so there must be a good reason for it. ;)

Act as if you where a zombie, and walk away. its that simple,now go get weopons from an army base, go to a house with 2 stories, go up the stairs, blow the stairs up so they can get up, and rest peacefully with claymores wired at the door :p

Uh ... well ... they ... uh ...

Well, that never happens in movies, so there must be a good reason for it. ;)

Yeah, Hollywood sucks and people are stupid enoug to lap up anything they put out. I mean, geez, they're half decayed already, kick out their legs and they can't move.

...Kick their teeth out.

With today's dentistry? Dude, they'd be back a-biting in a day or two after a bit of laughing gas and some fluoride.

Act as if you where a zombie, and walk away. its that simple,now go get weopons from an army base, go to a house with 2 stories, go up the stairs, blow the stairs up so they can get up, and rest peacefully with claymores wired at the door :p
You're cruel. I can't draw that good. :(

With today's dentistry? Dude, they'd be back a-biting in a day or two after a bit of laughing gas and some fluoride.
It's true. What with the communist fluoridation conspiracy. That's what happens when you sacrifice your bodily fluids and drink fluoridated water. You become a communist zombie.

With today's dentistry? Dude, they'd be back a-biting in a day or two after a bit of laughing gas and some fluoride.

Why would the dentist do that?

Cut off a table leg and beat him back to death with it.

Why would the dentist do that?

Just cause it's zombie doesn't mean it wasn't insured up the ass.

The zombie dispatches the gerbil with ease. And unfortunately, there are many zombies in your front yard, making escape impossible.

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombies.jpg
Ask the Zombie if he'd ever consider vegitarianism, then throw the flower petals at it. He'll eat those, find them a nice change from brains, and leave me alone...

Weave a makeshift rope out of the petals and tie the chainsaw (serrated edge facing outwards, of course) to your head. Any attempts by the zombie to eat your brains will thus be met with severe and brutal retribution.

Pull some kind of skull-crushing weapon out of a secret compartment of some sort in a fairly vague and/or ambiguous fashion, as not to get his attention.

Just cause it's zombie doesn't mean it wasn't insured up the ass.

So? Who's gonna enforce that insurance? And does it really apply once you're dead, after all, you stopped paying I assume.

Cut off a table leg and beat him back to death with it.
You kill the zombie. However, when the table collapsed, the gerbil was crushed, and now an angry PETA member has entered your home and is threatening you with a firearm.

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombieinvasion4.jpg

Pull some kind of skull-crushing weapon out of a secret compartment of some sort in a fairly vague and/or ambiguous fashion, as not to get his attention.
You fail your agility saving throw.

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombieinvasion3.jpg

You kill the zombie. However, when the table collapsed, the gerbil was crushed, and now an angry PETA member has entered your home and is threatening you with a firearm.

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombieinvasion4.jpg
Point out to him that, in a world stricken by a zombie infestation, killing you would be further reducing an endangered species.

Put on your fur coat while eating foie gras, and offer him a bite.

So? Who's gonna enforce that insurance? And does it really apply once you're dead, after all, you stopped paying I assume.

Hmmm....Well a zombie is "the living-dead". That or the dentist just wants to be a dick and ruin somebody's day by giving a zombie a nice new set of knashers.

Hmmm....Well a zombie is "the living-dead". That or the dentist just wants to be a dick and ruin somebody's day by giving a zombie a nice new set of knashers.

Acursed sadistic dentists. I still propose the limb removing kick.

Ask the Zombie if he'd ever consider vegitarianism, then throw the flower petals at it. He'll eat those, find them a nice change from brains, and leave me alone...
The zombie agrees, and you become great friends. You even start a successful punk rock band entitled 'Flower Petal Eating Zombies'.

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombieinvasion5.jpg

I'd let the zombie bite me, I mean all the cool kids are doing it.

Weave a makeshift rope out of the petals and tie the chainsaw (serrated edge facing outwards, of course) to your head. Any attempts by the zombie to eat your brains will thus be met with severe and brutal retribution.
I'm afraid that such an action requires a more sophisticated graphics utility than Paint, or at least a more talented artist. The zombie eats you (see the above post to Contradictilandia).

I'd let the zombie bite me, I mean all the cool kids are doing it.

How will you get the hot girl in the end then?

I'm afraid that such an action requires a more sophisticated graphics utility than Paint, or at least a more talented artist. The zombie eats you (see the above post to Contradictilandia).

:p Wimp. I can do it in Paint.

I grab the chainsaw and cut a hole in the wall and run.Zombies can't run they only stumble.If you deny this fact check out this book.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/bam/covers/1/40/004/962/1400049628.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/ncom/books%3Fpid%3D1400049628&h=400&w=266&sz=18&tbnid=4Sh-h5dxsfO6LM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=79&hl=en&start=7&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dzombie%2Bsurvival%2Bguide%2Bbook%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D

I'm afraid that such an action requires a more sophisticated graphics utility than Paint, or at least a more talented artist. The zombie eats you (see the above post to Contradictilandia).
Mmkay, how about...

Agree to his kind offer and eat his brains using the chainsaw as a steak-knife?

The zombie agrees, and you become great friends. You even start a successful punk rock band entitled 'Flower Petal Eating Zombies'.

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombieinvasion5.jpg
Fantastic! I win! :)
See kids, violence is not the answer. Listen to me...

I grab the chainsaw and cut a hole in the wall and run.Zombies can't run they only stumble.If you deny this fact check out this book.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/bam/covers/1/40/004/962/1400049628.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/ncom/books%3Fpid%3D1400049628&h=400&w=266&sz=18&tbnid=4Sh-h5dxsfO6LM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=79&hl=en&start=7&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dzombie%2Bsurvival%2Bguide%2Bbook%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D
You win the thread. I award you a cookie for escaping the zombies.

Fantastic! I win! :)
See kids, violence is not the answer. Listen to me...
Of course, what you don't know is what happens to the gerbil.

Of course, what you don't know is what happens to the gerbil.
The gerbil is a zombie. I threw it at the zombie earlier...err, for it's own good! I would never be cruel to animals...
Honest!

Of course, what you don't know is what happens to the gerbil.
The gerbil becomes their roadie, dresses up in a black leather jacket, and cuts his hair in a full body mohawk.

Once out of the house I lay and run to my house with my:

Mode of transportation:bike
Primary weapon:M1 Garand
Secondary weapon:desert Eagle(silencer)
Melle weapon:Katana
Gear:Sleeping Bag,Flashlight,Mirror(for signaling heliocopters),5 day supply of food,Pump for my bike,water purifier,radio,Ammo and the the other things to keep my weapons in good condition.
Outfit:Boots with long sleeves with regular pants(sorry no baggy jeans)and a hat.
I find the nearest:Offshore Oil platform,or prison as these are the safest places.
I find other surviors on the way.
Reference:
http://http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/bam/covers/1/40/004/962/1400049628.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/ncom/books%3Fpid%3D1400049628&h=400&w=266&sz=18&tbnid=4Sh-h5dxsfO6LM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=79&hl=en&start=7&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dzombie%2Bsurvival%2Bguide%2Bbook%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D

How will you get the hot girl in the end then?

Well seeing as the hot girl was most likely cool (they usually are), she'd have been one of the first to get bitten. So really, getting bit would be an advantage.

You win the thread. I award you a cookie for escaping the zombies.
I need no cookie.Winning a thread is sweeter than any cookie.:D

I need no cookie.Winning a thread is sweeter than any cookie.:D
*Yoinks the cookie* :D:D:D

Once out of the house I lay and run to my house with my:

Mode of transportation:bike
Primary weapon:M1 Garand
Secondary weapon:desert Eagle(silencer)
Melle weapon:Katana
Gear:Sleeping Bag,Flashlight,Mirror(for signaling heliocopters),5 day supply of food,Pump for my bike,water purifier,radio,Ammo and the the other things to keep my weapons in good condition.
Outfit:Boots with long sleeves with regular pants(sorry no baggy jeans)and a hat.
I find the nearest:Offshore Oil platform,or prison as these are the safest places.
I find other surviors on the way.
Reference:
http://http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/bam/covers/1/40/004/962/1400049628.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/ncom/books%3Fpid%3D1400049628&h=400&w=266&sz=18&tbnid=4Sh-h5dxsfO6LM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=79&hl=en&start=7&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dzombie%2Bsurvival%2Bguide%2Bbook%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D
Silly ... when role-playing, you have to follow the rules ... you can't have that much stuff until, like, level 30.

You win the thread. I award you a cookie for escaping the zombies.

I demand mandatory drug testing. 15 posts and MuchoKookoo wins a thread? That's unheard of.

Silly ... when role-playing, you have to follow the rules ... you can't have that much stuff until, like, level 30.
It is no role playing.I am merely stating waht it says to do in case of a zombie outbreak.If you don't belive me check out this book.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/bam/covers/1/40/004/962/1400049628.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/ncom/books%3Fpid%3D1400049628&h=400&w=266&sz=18&tbnid=4Sh-h5dxsfO6LM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=79&hl=en&start=7&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dzombie%2Bsurvival%2Bguide%2Bbook%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D

Note:This book is rather quite good.It got a five star rating.

It is no role playing.I am merely stating waht it says to do in case of a zombie outbreak.If you don't belive me check out this book.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/bam/covers/1/40/004/962/1400049628.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.booksamillion.com/ncom/books%3Fpid%3D1400049628&h=400&w=266&sz=18&tbnid=4Sh-h5dxsfO6LM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=79&hl=en&start=7&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dzombie%2Bsurvival%2Bguide%2Bbook%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D
OMG it gives you all that before level 30??!! :eek: HAX!

Silly ... when role-playing, you have to follow the rules ... you can't have that much stuff until, like, level 30.

Told ya. 15 posts and wins a thread, HA!!

OMG it gives you all that before level 30??!! :eek: HAX!
No,I'm not roleplaying.The book just says that the best weapon is a semi-automatic like the garand is the best.It also says pistols area must have and that bikes are the best transportation since they are quiet.It also says the best melle weaapon is something that can quickly wither decapitate them or bash in there skull.

Find Magneto, hole up in a subway station and give a cookie to whoever gets the reference. :D

Find Magneto, hole up in a subway station and give a cookie to whoever gets the reference. :D

Oh shut up.:p

Oh shut up.:p

Then I just have to wait for Reed Richards to build a two way dimensional transport so I can escape this world. Now who gets a cookie?

Then I just have to wait for Reed Richards to build a two way dimensional transport so I can escape this world. Now who gets a cookie?

Better be chocolate chip or Mr. Fantastic will have your ass.

Better be chocolate chip or Mr. Fantastic will have your ass.

You still haven't explained the reference. And yes, it is chocolate chip.

You still haven't explained the reference. And yes, it is chocolate chip.

Fine, the first was a reference to the X-Men and the Brotherhood (Magneto), while the second was to the Fantastic Four and Mr. Fantastic's alter ego - Reed Richards, a scientific genious not capable of understanding magic (his biggest flaw?).

.... by zombies. One has broken into your home and is lurching toward you, moaning, "braaaaaiiiinnnnssss ....."

What do you do??

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/NazcaVisitor/zombieinvasion.jpg
Use my hippie flower-power to shower the zombie with love so they would have a huge zombie orgy on my yard while I make my inconspicuous escape. :D

Fine, the first was a reference to the X-Men and the Brotherhood (Magneto), while the second was to the Fantastic Four and Mr. Fantastic's alter ego - Reed Richards, a scientific genious not capable of understanding magic (his biggest flaw?).

Correct, but only in general terms. You get one fourth of a cookie. :p

The actual reference was to a recent Ultimate Fantastic Four comic book in which Reed Richards were conned into building a two way dimensional transporter by a zombie Reed of another dimension. That dimension had recently been infected by a zombie virus thingy, and the only non zombies left were Magneto and a couple of humans who were hiding in a subway station, under Mag's protection. They used the transporter to escape to non-zombie Ultimate dimension, where zombie FF was contained with help from non zombie Sue. Magneto, however, stayed behind to destroy the dimensional tranporter so that the rest of the zombified super people couldn't cross over. So meh.

Correct, but only in general terms. You get one fourth of a cookie. :p

The actual reference was to a recent Ultimate Fantastic Four comic book in which Reed Richards were conned into building a two way dimensional transporter by a zombie Reed of another dimension. That dimension had recently been infected by a zombie virus thingy, and the only non zombies left were Magneto and a couple of humans who were hiding in a subway station, under Mag's protection. They used the transporter to escape to non-zombie Ultimate dimension, where zombie FF was contained with help from non zombie Sue. Magneto, however, stayed behind to destroy the dimensional tranporter so that the rest of the zombified super people couldn't cross over. So meh.

DAMN YOU!:p

Well seeing as the hot girl was most likely cool (they usually are), she'd have been one of the first to get bitten. So really, getting bit would be an advantage.

Not necessarily. With all the cool people zombyfied, the nerdy girl would no longer hve self-esteem issues, and would become magically more attracitve, and effectively, the hot girl.

They bite you and turn you into a zombie. You have to remove the head or destroy the brain to kill a zombie for good.

I turn on a rerun of The Brady Bunch on t.v. and point it at the zombie, brain destroyed.

Not necessarily. With all the cool people zombyfied, the nerdy girl would no longer hve self-esteem issues, and would become magically more attracitve, and effectively, the hot girl.
Then she'd get bitten, and leave you guys with only ugly girls. Good luck repopulating the earth, boys.

Mirror(for signaling heliocopters)

Outfit:Boots with long sleeves with regular pants(sorry no baggy jeans)and a hat.

Firstly, what is a heliocopter? The chariot of the sun god or something?

Secondly, do boots normally have sleeves where you come from?

Firstly, what is a heliocopter? The chariot of the sun god or something?

Secondly, do boots normally have sleeves where you come from?

Sorry about the boot thing.I meant to say shirt with long sleeves.
As for the mirrior it would be to dangerouse to signal a heliocopter anyway.

Then she'd get bitten, and leave you guys with only ugly girls. Good luck repopulating the earth, boys.

No silly, the point is that we save her. Unless you're like Saige and get bitten, only then can the survivors get bitten. Does that put you as a zombie or a survivor then?

No silly, the point is that we save her. Unless you're like Saige and get bitten, only then can the survivors get bitten. Does that put you as a zombie or a survivor then?
I'll get bitten, but not by a zombie. I'm still waiting for a vampire to come and turn me into one of them. So chances are, I won't care about your insignificant little struggle.

I'll get bitten, but not by a zombie. I'm still waiting for a vampire to come and turn me into one of them. So chances are, I won't care about your insignificant little struggle.

...Then I say I join the lycanthropes. Not the Lycans, none of this Underworld crap. Teh lycanthropes.

The flower-petals and the gerbil are the necessary spell-components for "Flaming Hands" (1d4 + 1d4 per level damage). I turn the zombie into an undead-roast.

:eek: mmmmm....Crispy Roast.... The funny feeling.... burning....... crackle....crispy..... but undead-roasts seem to smell bad.... I dont even wanna try it :( :eek: