NationStates Jolt Archive

Would you ever use one (pretending to be a girl if you aren't)?

Personally, I would if I hit my late 30s and wasn't married. I want a kid eventually, whether I'm alone in raising it or not. Of course I would only use a sperm bank if I didn't have any male friends willing to help out (not necessarily the fun way, minds out of the gutter)

However, hopefully that's a scenario that will never be an issue.

No. Assuming I were female, or otherwise had had some kind of operation allowing me to give birth, still no.

Sure I would if I wanted a kid and didn't have a direct donor ;)

I don't think I would. I do want children, but if it became evident that I couldn't have them with a husband/partner, I would be more likely to adopt than use a sperm bank. That's just personal preference though, nothing against those who do use sperm banks.

Well, I really, really don't want any kid(s) so it's very difficult to say. However, trying my best to imagine that I did, ideally I'd be with a partner and we'd bring it/them up together. But if for whatever reason I wasn't, I suppose I might, yeah; some single parents do as good, if not better, jobs than your standard nuclear family. However, I'd also consider adoption.

But not an issue in practice for me.

i would rather use a sperm bank than get a donation from a friend. i wouldnt want anyone else to have legal claim of any kind to my child nor would i want to risk him being forced to pay child support in the event of my financial disaster.

i would rather use a sperm bank than get a donation from a friend. i wouldnt want anyone else to have legal claim of any kind to my child nor would i want to risk him being forced to pay child support in the event of my financial disaster.
Yeah, but if I had a friend who I thought had excellent genes, I would rather have him donate than some random stranger who might not.

Only if I was a geneticist.

I would adopt there are plenty of kids in need of a loving home and its not like my family genes are going extinct

Yeah, but if I had a friend who I thought had excellent genes, I would rather have him donate than some random stranger who might not.
you get to do a reasonable amount of picking at a sperm bank. i think its a bigger risk that my friend will see his child and want to be involved in its life than that the sperm bank will sell me inappropriate sperm.

not that im big on doing whatever it takes to have a child, but if i were...45.. and desperately wanted a child, i would want one that was totally mine alone (and my husbands if that were the situation)

Well, assuming that by some miracle of science and medicine I was able to get pregnant, and I was in a situation like Dakini discribed....sure, why not?

A man is technically a walking sperm bank. Just the same, a woman is a walking egg bank. Enough of my logic though.

Assuming I were a woman who wanted kids, I'd much prefer a partner over going to a clinic.

If I were a woman, I think I would do it only if my partner is not fertile (or if I were lesbian). I strongly desire children, but I think a children deserve two parents, and I'll not take the decision to bring to life without any chance of granting him/her that. So only if I couldn't have kids with partner.

Well, assuming that by some miracle of science and medicine I was able to get pregnant, and I was in a situation like Dakini discribed....sure, why not?

Ya need a miracle first? Intresting.

Me, I'd just adopt...

Just a personal opinion, but I think a kid does better in a stable environment with two parents. But that is just my opinion. I have nothing against single people either adopting or using sperm banks.

I just hold a bitter and unquenchable hate for all children, and will do so 'till far beyond my death. Problem solved.

It makes perfect sense for lesbian or infertile couples. Still, I must say I agree with Yeshuallia: two people (of some kind) are more capable of raising a kid together than one. Ask my cousin-and both her moms.

It makes perfect sense for lesbian or infertile couples. Still, I must say I agree with Yeshuallia: two people (of some kind) are more capable of raising a kid together than one. Ask my cousin-and both her moms.
Perhaps, and I would rather have a kid in say, my early 30s when I have a husband and am settled down into a stable career. However, if I don't have a husband by my late 30s, the biological clock begins to tick and I really do want a kid. I think I could take care of a kid on my own, I have friends and family to be additional role models.

Perhaps, and I would rather have a kid in say, my early 30s when I have a husband and am settled down into a stable career. However, if I don't have a husband by my late 30s, the biological clock begins to tick and I really do want a kid. I think I could take care of a kid on my own, I have friends and family to be additional role models.

Fair enough. As long as you've got a good enough social group around, it could probably still work out. (This is purely opinion, by the way. I can't pretend to have any first hand knowledge of child-rearing.) I also kind of think of the parent themself, though-taking on all that responsibility with nobody else in the house...? Can't say I'd envy ya.

Would you ever use one (pretending to be a girl if you aren't)?

Personally, I would if I hit my late 30s and wasn't married. I want a kid eventually, whether I'm alone in raising it or not. Of course I would only use a sperm bank if I didn't have any male friends willing to help out (not necessarily the fun way, minds out of the gutter)

However, hopefully that's a scenario that will never be an issue.

Can't help you there, I've had a vasectomy.

Would you ever use one (pretending to be a girl if you aren't)?

Personally, I would if I hit my late 30s and wasn't married. I want a kid eventually, whether I'm alone in raising it or not. Of course I would only use a sperm bank if I didn't have any male friends willing to help out (not necessarily the fun way, minds out of the gutter)

However, hopefully that's a scenario that will never be an issue.I/we would probably go for adoption, or the help of a friend.

If I were a woman I would proably go for adoption over a sperm bank but my ultimate choice would be with a partner because a child does deserve 2 parents at least in the early years.

Yes (assuming I was a woman).

I'm considering donating to a sperm bank too.. When I'm old enough that is.

If I were a woman I would proably go for adoption over a sperm bank but my ultimate choice would be with a partner because a child does deserve 2 parents at least in the early years.
Lots of couple use a sperm bank because of fertility problems.. It's unfair to assume that all users of a sperm bank are single, as it's just not true.

Would you ever use one (pretending to be a girl if you aren't)?

Personally, I would if I hit my late 30s and wasn't married. I want a kid eventually, whether I'm alone in raising it or not. Of course I would only use a sperm bank if I didn't have any male friends willing to help out (not necessarily the fun way, minds out of the gutter)

However, hopefully that's a scenario that will never be an issue.
I don't want biological children, so obviously my answer is "no."

However, if I did want to have biological children, I think I would prefer to use a sperm bank than to have a biological child with somebody I was romantically involved with.

It makes perfect sense for lesbian or infertile couples. Still, I must say I agree with Yeshuallia: two people (of some kind) are more capable of raising a kid together than one. Ask my cousin-and both her moms.
I disagree. There are plenty of horrible two-parent homes, and plenty of wonderful single-parent homes. Just having two people around as "parents" doesn't guarantee anything.

One condition: It would have to be the "designer sperm" Stephen Colbert had on his show: Stephen Colbert's Formula 401. Lol!

Ya need a miracle first? Intresting.

Yes, unfortunately. :(

I don't really want to go into the details...

Yes, unfortunately. :(

I don't really want to go into the details...

Eh, I don't mind. Well, sorta, I'd like to know, but less than I want to bother you.

Eh, I don't mind. Well, sorta, I'd like to know, but less than I want to bother you.

Yeah, sorry, it's just not something I want to talk about...not something that makes me happy really...

Men are put off it here in the UK. You dont get paid and if they find out who you are they can take all your money

If I was a woman, I wouldn't use it. If I really wanted one without being "equiped to the task", I just adopted one (although that will take lots of time and many problems). Growing something in my belly from a complete stranger... No, thanks.

As a guy, I do donate however.

One condition: It would have to be the "designer sperm" Stephen Colbert had on his show: Stephen Colbert's Formula 401. Lol!
I wonder if I can register myself as a sperm bank.

If I was a woman, I wouldn't use it. If I really wanted one without being "equiped to the task", I just adopted one (although that will take lots of time and many problems). Growing something in my belly from a complete stranger... No, thanks.

Well, it wouldn't necessarily be from a stranger. I mean, in theory if you had a friend who donated regularly you could get his permission to request his sperm.

If I was a guy, I would have donated a ton of sperm from age 16-20, then gotten a vasectomy. That way I would be able to have biological children if I wanted them in the future, but I would never have them unless both I and my partner specifically and consciously decided it was what we wanted...no "oops" babies, that way. :)

I'd adopt rather than use a sperm bank. In fact, if I ever get my finances and living arrangements together enough to qualify, I will probably apply to foster children, and eventually adopt.

I am so much more interested in being a parent than in being a mother. I'd like to have the chance to help a kid get the best foundation in life I could offer. But I have zero interest in having biological kids. I'm the only woman I know who feels absolutely not the slightest interest in getting pregnant and giving birth to a baby of my own. Nope, not for me. But raising kids -- yeah, that I'd like to do. Be helpful to someone who really needs it.

I'd adopt rather than use a sperm bank. In fact, if I ever get my finances and living arrangements together enough to qualify, I will probably apply to foster children, and eventually adopt.

I am so much more interested in being a parent than in being a mother. I'd like to have the chance to help a kid get the best foundation in life I could offer. But I have zero interest in having biological kids. I'm the only woman I know who feels absolutely not the slightest interest in getting pregnant and giving birth to a baby of my own. Nope, not for me. But raising kids -- yeah, that I'd like to do. Be helpful to someone who really needs it.
so many things that seem so important before you do them are really quite unimportant, or a huge mistake

women feel....oh i dont know....incomplete?... if they dont get married and yet marriage for its own sake is a disaster. 50% of all marriages end in divorce anyway. what a waste of our emotional energy it is to feel that we MUST get married.

same with making your own baby from scratch. for many women it seems like the ulitmate womanly task. the truth is that, except for having a baby at the end, pregnancy sucks. you spend half the time sick the rest of the time HUGE you worry constantly that you are doing something that will harm the baby or that you arent doing enough to help the baby (playing classical music aimed at your tummy) and the thought of delivery is terrifying. rightly so. i agree with you. why make one when you can adopt a baby and be in good physical and emotional condition when it arrives?

so many things that seem so important before you do them are really quite unimportant, or a huge mistake

women feel....oh i dont know....incomplete?... if they dont get married and yet marriage for its own sake is a disaster. 50% of all marriages end in divorce anyway. what a waste of our emotional energy it is to feel that we MUST get married.

same with making your own baby from scratch. for many women it seems like the ulitmate womanly task. the truth is that, except for having a baby at the end, pregnancy sucks. you spend half the time sick the rest of the time HUGE you worry constantly that you are doing something that will harm the baby or that you arent doing enough to help the baby (playing classical music aimed at your tummy) and the thought of delivery is terrifying. rightly so. i agree with you. why make one when you can adopt a baby and be in good physical and emotional condition when it arrives?
I have all kind of (half-joking) theories about pregnancy and motherhood. A friend once suggested that 9 months of screwed up hormones causes permanent brain damage, leaving the woman mildly insane, and that's why women who were rational before the baby are so nuts afterwards.

I also believe that many mothers carry an underlying resentment against their kids because of all the shit pregnancy puts them through. I mean, look at the psychological stuff our mothers pull on us -- even the best can't help giving little digs over and over.

Finally, seriously, I think a lot of people get married and have kids for the wrong reasons. They do it to feel complete, as you say. From my point of view, that's very selfish -- it's all about them, not the other person involved. It especially bothers me when I hear parents talk about their expectations for everything their kid is going to be and everything their kid is going do for them in life and how their kid is going to feel about them. I'm like, if you're so in love with the idea of someone growing up to be a doctor, why don't you go to medical school -- and grow up while you're there? Let the kid be what he wants.

Would you ever use one (pretending to be a girl if you aren't)?

Personally, I would if I hit my late 30s and wasn't married. I want a kid eventually, whether I'm alone in raising it or not. Of course I would only use a sperm bank if I didn't have any male friends willing to help out (not necessarily the fun way, minds out of the gutter)

However, hopefully that's a scenario that will never be an issue.

No, I don't think so.

I would want help raising a child, I wouldn't like to attempt it by myself.
So I wouldn't adopt either without a willing partner. :)

Would you ever use one (pretending to be a girl if you aren't)?

Personally, I would if I hit my late 30s and wasn't married. I want a kid eventually, whether I'm alone in raising it or not. Of course I would only use a sperm bank if I didn't have any male friends willing to help out (not necessarily the fun way, minds out of the gutter)

However, hopefully that's a scenario that will never be an issue.

Why not necessarily the fun way? If you can have fun while getting yourself with child, why not?

I didn't realise until recently that sperm banks pay you for making a donation.
Depresses me to think of all that money I've let slip through my fingers over the years...