NationStates Jolt Archive


God hates prayers

Infinite Revolution
01-06-2006, 20:40
Woman hit by lightning while praying (http://www.wsbtv.com/news/9293414/detail.html)

Worried about the safety of her family during a stormy Memorial Day trip to the beach, Clara Jean Brown stood in her kitchen and prayed for their safe return as a strong thunderstorm rumbled through Baldwin County, Alabama.

But while she prayed, lightning suddenly exploded, blowing through the linoleum and leaving a blackened area on the concrete. She said 'Amen' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire. The 65-year-old Brown said she is blessed to be alive.

God defends actions; "It's not what she asked, but the way she asked for it..."

http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h211/infiniterevolution/smite_photo.jpg

hehe, i mean, poor women obviously, but hehe. i wonder if this shook her faith at all? pray to god, get fucked. nice message.

clicky (http://www.celebrityreligion.typepad.com/) clicky (http://pop.wizbangblog.com/)
Citta Nuova
01-06-2006, 20:42
ROFLl!!!!!:D
Kazus
01-06-2006, 20:45
Well if you were God, and all you heard in your head was puny humans asking you for help, you might get a little testy.
Kamsaki
01-06-2006, 20:47
Hehe...

Perhaps God is something of a GMDave?
Wilgrove
01-06-2006, 20:51
God was having a bad day. :p Apparently Jesus wrecked the Ferrari again, and Satan just won't stop with the 50 Pizza prank! Also, Mary keeps on whoring herself out. The Saints have created their own mafia. So yea, lotsa stress on God.
Kazus
01-06-2006, 20:51
Hehe...

Perhaps God is something of a GMDave?

Lucky theres no dragon to feed us to.......is there?
Infinite Revolution
01-06-2006, 20:52
Hehe...

Perhaps God is something of a GMDave?

who's gm dave? i found several on google. someone to do with dragons, a baseball player, engineering type dude.
Ifreann
01-06-2006, 20:57
The moral of this story is, e-mail god from now on, his prayer inbox is permanently full.
Kazus
01-06-2006, 20:58
who's gm dave? i found several on google. someone to do with dragons, a baseball player, engineering type dude.

http://bannable-offenses.blogspot.com/
Cannot think of a name
01-06-2006, 21:05
Now now, I just saw an infomercial that asserted that a woman put in a prayer request for a cure for baldness and she got one, so clearly...

And he answers at least 50% of requests to ensure wins in team sporting events.

This was just god saying, "Bitch, shut the fuck up-I'm on it. Now build a new kitchen, muthafucka."
Kamsaki
01-06-2006, 21:10
Lucky theres no dragon to feed us to.......is there?
Another sign was seen in heaven. Behold, a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and on his heads seven crowns.
>_>;
Khadgar
01-06-2006, 21:11
I love religious people "I'm blessed to be alive". Damn woman god just shoved a lightning bolt up your nose!
Ifreann
01-06-2006, 21:15
I love religious people "I'm blessed to be alive". Damn woman god just shoved a lightning bolt up your nose!
I sumbit that satan saved her from the full effects of gods lightning bolt.
Swilatia
01-06-2006, 21:44
Aha proof that prayer doesent work. and the fact that prayer doesrnt work proves that god is a figment of peoples imaginations.
Cannot think of a name
01-06-2006, 22:21
Aha proof that prayer doesent work. and the fact that prayer doesrnt work proves that god is a figment of peoples imaginations.
Nope, you forgot the all encompassing 'out' catch:God works in mysterious ways. Covers all inconsistancies.
Kryozerkia
01-06-2006, 22:26
You get what you pray for.
Gargantua City State
01-06-2006, 22:29
I don't see how this disproves God, or prayer...
She prayed for the safe return of her family...
I assume they got back okay. Just cuz her kitchen needs renovation... doesn't really have anything to do with the prayer. Unless that was the payment for their safe return, cuz God had other plans for them.
I'd take a ruined kitchen over losing loved ones any day. ;)
Cannot think of a name
01-06-2006, 22:32
I don't see how this disproves God, or prayer...
She prayed for the safe return of her family...
I assume they got back okay. Just cuz her kitchen needs renovation... doesn't really have anything to do with the prayer. Unless that was the payment for their safe return, cuz God had other plans for them.
I'd take a ruined kitchen over losing loved ones any day. ;)
And people worship that guy? "I was going to kill your family, but since you asked I'll just trash your kitchen instead..."
Gargantua City State
01-06-2006, 22:34
And people worship that guy? "I was going to kill your family, but since you asked I'll just trash your kitchen instead..."

If I could worship him, and he changed his plan to spare my life or someone else's, I'd worship him! :p
Better than death. ;)
Crimson Vaal
01-06-2006, 22:38
Here comes another religious rant.. I can just see it.
Infinite Revolution
01-06-2006, 22:51
http://bannable-offenses.blogspot.com/
aha, hehe!
Citta Nuova
01-06-2006, 23:15
And people worship that guy? "I was going to kill your family, but since you asked I'll just trash your kitchen instead..."

hihi, that made me chuckle... thanks... :fluffle:
Rotten bacon
02-06-2006, 03:06
ok that was like the funnyest relgion funny thing i have ever read and me not being relgous can write this.

well god was going to shoot down the family on their way home then heard her praying and well he then decided not to kill them but he did not want to wast a divine intervention with a lightning bolt so he shot it at the lady. well satan was drunk and did somthing good by protecting the lady from the wrath.
Europa Maxima
02-06-2006, 03:07
The Lord be praised. <.<
Assis
02-06-2006, 03:35
Jesus said "If you fast, you will bring sin upon yourselves, and if you pray, you will be condemned, and if you give to charity, you will harm your spirits. When you go into any region and walk about in the countryside, when people take you in, eat what they serve you and heal the sick among them. After all, what goes into your mouth will not defile you; rather, it's what comes out of your mouth that will defile you."

He did warn us... :headbang: I wonder if she will ever pray again :D
Cannot think of a name
02-06-2006, 03:40
Jesus said "If you fast, you will bring sin upon yourselves, and if you pray, you will be condemned, and if you give to charity, you will harm your spirits. When you go into any region and walk about in the countryside, when people take you in, eat what they serve you and heal the sick among them. After all, what goes into your mouth will not defile you; rather, it's what comes out of your mouth that will defile you."

He did warn us... :headbang: I wonder if she will ever pray again :D
Jesus advocates swallowing.
Assis
02-06-2006, 03:45
Jesus advocates swallowing.
:D
UpwardThrust
02-06-2006, 03:45
http://gallery.elvado.de/albums/structure/misc%20ok/owned/PWNED.jpg
Straughn
02-06-2006, 03:52
God was having a bad day. :p Apparently Jesus wrecked the Ferrari again, and Satan just won't stop with the 50 Pizza prank! Also, Mary keeps on whoring herself out. The Saints have created their own mafia. So yea, lotsa stress on God.
I sense potential, amen. :)
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/870.gif
Straughn
02-06-2006, 03:53
Jesus advocates swallowing.
*jots down Jesus as an ELEVEN*