NationStates Jolt Archive

But I'm worried that:

1) She won't believe me.

2) It'll force me to take time of school. I don't think I can afford that, lots of tests this time of the year.

But I'm worried that:

1) She won't believe me

She has to take you seriously. She's your mother and I'm sure that she loves you and cares about you. She would want to know this.

2) It'll force me to take time of school. I don't think I can afford that, lots of tests this time of the year.

This is more important than school. It can severely affect your live negatively, and may even threaten it. Talking to close friends and relatives will help, and maybe they'll have ways to help too.

This is more important than school. It can severely affect your live negatively, and may even threaten it. Talking to close friends and relatives will help, and maybe they'll have ways to help too.

See, that's the thing. Is it really more important than school? I miss school, I fail, I get even worse.

I suggest speaking to a pastor first.

Are you sure you have Bipolar? Are you sure your not being a hypochondriact?

But I'm worried that:

1) She won't believe me.

2) It'll force me to take time of school. I don't think I can afford that, lots of tests this time of the year.

Have you considered speaking to friends first?

Parents are in a position of authority, they love you but that's exactly what might make them act in a way you don't want. Friends love you too but have no authority, so you might be able to better handle what they can tell you and then decide if you still want your parents to know.

I suggest speaking to a pastor first.

*blinks

*blinks again

*shakes head

Er.... Why???

You should have a school clinic with Drs and such, go there and tell them your symptoms. If you have BiPolar it is a very serious illnes do not take it lightly. You need to find out just what is going on. If it is depression or BiPolar there are treatments that are very effective and you may well be able to stay in school. Get your advise from experts who know what they are talking about.

*blinks

*blinks again

*shakes head

Er.... Why???

Excorcism? :p

But I'm worried that:

1) She won't believe me.You're a better judge than any of us will be as to whether she will believe you or not. If you have a real and justified reason to believe that she won't believe you, it might be better not to.

2) It'll force me to take time of school. I don't think I can afford that, lots of tests this time of the year.In my experience, not getting a disorder dealt with takes more time out of school. It's usually only in dreadfully serious cases that people need to take a time out. Again, you'll be a better judge regarding this than people that know you only by what you post on a forum.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU! You don't have bi-polar, or depression, and as for "bad feelign thingies" I'm really not sure what to do with that... Do what the rest of us did with our teenage angst, have a wank, take a shit and smoke a few cones! Next!

*blinks

*blinks again

*shakes head

Er.... Why???

In my hours of need, my pastor has always offered me the Lord's Divine guidance and I've always found it most helpful.

, have a wank and smoke a few cones! Next!

This is the some of the most immoral advice I've heard in a long time.

In my hours of need, my pastor has always offered me the Lord's Divine guidance and I've always found it most helpful.

Plus they don't charge £100 an hour:D

In my hours of need, my pastor has always offered me the Lord's Divine guidance and I've always found it most helpful.

*roflmao
Well, that sentence made me feel better anyway :D

This is the some of the most immoral advice I've heard in a long time.Welcome to the internet. While it isn't nice, it was obvious that there would be a post like this to this topic.

See, that's the thing. Is it really more important than school? I miss school, I fail, I get even worse.

It is.

But they are not mutually exclusive. You can manage school and still start processing the problem. Although I would recommend taking a bit lighter schedule when you really start biting into the origins of depression.

Start by talking with parents and then with a doctor. It all takes time and effort.

This is the some of the most immoral advice I've heard in a long time.
No it's not, and you know it. The most unethical advice I've read tonight is suggesting he/she/it should speak to a pastor, then again, asking a religious person to consider the fact that the majority of this planet would prefer advice sans the religious prostilization.

I told her. She said that it's probably just too much time on the computer, not enough outside, school stress and my dad's stroke coming together. :(

"Not enough time outside" always sounds like such trite, aggravating, and lame advice that it's easy to dismiss.

But, sunlight is actually a real depression-fighter, and it's way cheaper to just go out in it than to buy one of those full-spectrum lights that try to mimic it.

Most references I can find on Google about the sunlight-effect deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder (http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001532.htm), which is a depression that usually strikes people in the winter, but if you stay inside during the warm months, I think it stands to reason that the lack of light will contribute to depression at any time of the year.

I have to practically be pried outdoors (I'd much rather stay in and be on the computer), but I always end up in a better mood after being out there. (If I've been inside most of the time for months, though, it can take quite a while to start noticing a difference.)

Sunlight's free, so you might as well try it for a couple of weeks and see if it helps you. It may not totally eliminate the problem, but if you get an improvement, things will at least be more bearable.

As for "less time on the computer," well, if you go out more that = less time on the computer, unless you get a laptop and take it out there with you... (if you do, don't be surprised if the glare on the screen gives you a massive headache!)

She has to take you seriously. She's your mother and I'm sure that she loves you and cares about you. She would want to know this.



This is more important than school. It can severely affect your live negatively, and may even threaten it. Talking to close friends and relatives will help, and maybe they'll have ways to help too.

I agree. If you don't address this now, you can't hope to do your best in school. It may be as simple as a once a day pill for a period of months to turn this thing around. Don't wait.

I suggest speaking to a pastor first.

This is horrifically bad advise. Pastors are NOT mental health professionals and tend to act like mental illness does not exist.

This is horrifically bad advise. Pastors are NOT mental health professionals and tend to act like mental illness does not exist.

It depends where you live, if you live in america, then yes you should definately not ask your pastor. However if you live in some old village in England or something, then usually you will find that the pastor is the most educated person there and has had years and years of experiance dealing with peoples problems in the community. Unless you have a serious mental health problem, talking to your Pastor is a much better idea then spending shit loads of money to travel all the way in to town to talk to some uncaring psychiatrist.

This is the some of the most immoral advice I've heard in a long time.
Nevertheless, worked for me. Except the cones thing. Drugs never did it for me. Guess I'm lucky that way.

I told her. She said that it's probably just too much time on the computer, not enough outside, school stress and my dad's stroke coming together. :(
Well, she may have a point. We all go through periods of sadness and depression (that's why ads for depression drugs always make me laugh: "Do you feel sad sometimes?" Duh!) especially when going through stressful periods, and especially in young people.

Now, if you feel sad all the time for long periods of time and find it difficult to carry on with your day, then there's some merit in going to a doctor.

But I'm worried that:

1) She won't believe me.

2) It'll force me to take time of school. I don't think I can afford that, lots of tests this time of the year.

She may not take you as serously as you like but the only way to know is to tell her and explain to her what is going on.

Unless you're suicidal or something severe like that will you be forced to take time off school. Believe me, school is important but people would rather you be healthy. (I know this from experience)

If you were bipolar, she would know.
Anyways, if I was in your shoes (which, in a way, I am), I'd keep it to yourself and your friends. They're the ones who'll actually help you.

Just go to a brain doctor (shrink or whatever they're called) and get a diagnose. I hardly think you're qualified to diagnose yourself, unless you have some degree in psychology or some such (googling symptoms via err...google doesn't really count). The best way to treat something is knowing what it is. When you have the diagnose on black and white your beloved mother will surely believe it. And please, no pastor. Contact someone who actually knows what they're speaking about. Someone with the relevant education.

*edit*
And yes, if you actually have something real it's much better to put school on ice until it's better. I know it is. A few years ago my father died in cancer, my gf broke up with me and I got a concussion by, actually, tripping on the stairs outside my appartment when I was on my way to do laundry. All this happened in two months. I got really depressed (it's strange how hating a deceased parent actually complicates the emotions) but still continued my uni studies. Needless to say I failed my exams as my depression made me study piss poor but I still went on in school for a while. Two years of studies went to hell before I quit for 7 months and got better.

So...soldiering on despite wading knee deep in shit (depressions/mental disorders) will do you no good. I think.

Let's assume you're genuinely sick with these disorders - not saying you're not, but for the purpose of this argument, let's.


Pastor: Bad idea. Especially if you're not religious.

Family members: Good idea, if you respect them and they respect you.

Teachers: Again, good idea if there's mutual respect.

I don't think the teacher is a good alternative. I'll explain why though so I don't come across as a snappy bastard.
Teachers have enough problems trying to teach 30 some students something useful. The teacher has (probably) no degree in any relevant knowledge that can help. Laying your burdens on the teacher is unfair and quite pointless. Some schools, mine including, has some character who is there for cases just like yours (the op's), school psychiatrist or whatever they're called. Go to him/her if you feel you must. All the teacher can do is to send you to that very person anyway.

But I'm worried that:

1) She won't believe me.

Unless you have reason for her to be distrustful of you she will believe you. If nothing else ask her to make you an appointment with your regular doctor, that is where you need to start anyway. Explain to her that you feel very strongly that you need to speak with your doctor. If you have a hard time explaining your feelings to her, when you explain them to your doctor also tell him/her that you need their help in making mom understand. I promise you your doctor has been in this role before and can deal with mom if you are not comfortable with it. Please, please do not ignore this.

2) It'll force me to take time of school. I don't think I can afford that, lots of tests this time of the year.

I don't know about where you are, but schools in the US offer home-bound teachers who shuttle the school work, administer tests and so forth for a period of time a student may have to miss school due to illness. It is not uncommon for students who have had to have surgery or other illnesses. It is short term and enables the student to be current in their work when they can come back to school.

Please make the effort to take care of yourself, take care.

For those that want to slam the pastor idea, step back a minute.

First if the poster has a pastor, it is very good idea if nothing else to open the door to mom if there is a problem there.

Many, many pastors are trained counselors and most certainly acknowledge that mental disorders are a medical issue. They are excellent go-betweens for family and the medical community.

Their job is not to 'treat' a mental disorder but to support a person or family that is dealing with such. If the poster has a pastor that is exactly what his role would be.

When you are dealing with a mental disorder you cannot have too much support, so please don't knock it, it might be just the opening the poster needs to get help.

I don't see the problem with going to see a minister or 'pastor', they don't answer all problems with 'become a christian' or 'God is the way' or 'because you aren't a christian you are falling on bad times'. Also they're free! (unlike bloody shrinks!) And their advice is completely confidential (otherwise they get punished by God! and no one wants that) And they're genrally very nice people. They don't look down and tut at non-christians they're just there to help, like most christians are, they're just nice people, not brainwashers, (that would be a cult... or a government)

King Phil

Ps In case you're wondering I'm not a priest or pastor or minister... or a member of a cult or government.

Ps In case you're wondering I'm not... a member of a cult or government.


Oh, you SO are!

In my hours of need, my pastor has always offered me the Lord's Divine guidance and I've always found it most helpful.
Hmm.. Can a Pastor offer you medical advice and help?

Hmm.. Can a Pastor offer you medical advice and help?

Im not a Christian by any means but i do have a youth pastor back home that helped with alot and what he couldnt help with he referred me to a few of his friends in the medical community. (Seriously i think they become friends with someone from EVERY profession lol)

I told her. She said that it's probably just too much time on the computer, not enough outside, school stress and my dad's stroke coming together. :(

Speaking as someone who's actually bipolar - try to talk her into letting you go see a psychiatrist or psychologist at least a few times. Odds are she'll take your problems much more seriously if you've got an official diagnosis. Don't ignore the problem and hope it will go away - while it's possible this will occur, it's also possible you'll just be making things much worse in the long run. Treat your this potential mood disorder like you would any illness; if you're displaying symptoms, it's worth at least being checked out by a qualified professional, just like you would if you were running a fever or getting a rash.

Oh, and good luck!

Im not a Christian by any means but i do have a youth pastor back home that helped with alot and what he couldnt help with he referred me to a few of his friends in the medical community. (Seriously i think they become friends with someone from EVERY profession lol)
Yea, that's true I guess.
As a Catholic, I would probably just go to Catholic Social Services and see someone there if I wanted to be religious about it.

I have depression, and the first thing I did was go to a therapist. After awhile, the therapist decided that my problems were far too much for him to handle, so we did a consult with a psychiatrist and he determined that I had depression, panic disorder and anxiety disorder and prescribed me Effexor XR. It started working almost immediately and I've been awesome for more than a year now. Yay, no more sleeping for fourteen hours a day! No more sobbing uncontrollably at stupid things! No more sitting in a corner rocking myself back and forth with a glazed look on my face!

Now, luckily, my Daddy has bipolar disorder, so he knows the mind is a delicate thing and that it can very easily be tampered with when it comes to chemical imbalances. My mum, bless her, is an old-fashioned Southern girl who doesn't believe in this psychological nonsense. She realises that there have been huge, positive changes, but she's hesitant about addressing her own issues and thinks that therapy is some odd shit. I think if it weren't for my Daddy, I wouldn't have been able to go get help because Mama would have been telling me to get up and do something instead of realising that I needed help really badly.

I don't know how your mum is, but despite how parents act, they really have your best interests at heart. If you're feeling terrible and she hasn't already noticed and asked you about it, then you need to tell her how you feel. Sitting around and stewing in your emotions isn't going to help you accomplish anything. I don't think it will force you to take any time off of school (psychological evaluations and therapy can be scheduled on weekends and after school), so if you're worried about that, you shouldn't be. Now, if you think you're going to kill yourself and you tell that to the psychiatrist, he might send you to a mental institution, yes. I don't know if that's what you mean by taking off of school, but trust me, unless you're stark raving mad, no one's going to be throwing you into Bethlem Royal.

In short, tell your mum and get it off your chest. It'll probably make all the difference.

Hmm.. Can a Pastor offer you medical advice and help?
It's not always about medicine. In this case, the OP may not be suffering from clinical depression and may just have to talk through her problems. I went to pastoral counselling in my area and my counsellor was extremely helpful, but when he realised that I had a chemical imbalance, he was able to talk to a psychiatrist for me and they kept in touch with each other about my progression on both fronts. He never tried to force religion down my throat or anything, and was really quite helpful to me over the months that I saw him. Church and pastors are about social support a lot of the time, and pastors usually can realise when things are out of their hands perhaps because of their belief in the Divinity.

In short, there's nothing to be jabbing at. It's really up to the poster or not to decide if going to a pastor is her thing or not. Some people aren't comfortable discussing their problems with a pastor, but the good thing about pastors is that they have the same code of ethics regarding discussion of people's problems as psychiatrists do: they won't talk to anyone without your permission as long as you're not threatening to harm yourself or others.