NationStates Jolt Archive

If you could punch an actor in the face who would it be? My brother absolutely HATES Brendan Frazier, and a friend of mine is the same way about Whoopi Goldberg. You know what I mean, one big punch, square in their ugly, worthless melon of a head....

Tom Cruise

What about the groin?

I was waiting for Mr. Cruise to get a vote, he seems to do that to people. I think I am going to throw my vote to one Sara Jessica Parker...

Can I make a list of who I would not?

It would be shorter.

Tom Cruise cause he is a cocky ******!!
Brad Pitt as he is about to use a bunch of people in Africa (cover up as aid work).
Angelina Jolie cause well do i need a reason? :confused:

I've wanted to punch John Travolta in the face ever since he played "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" back in '76.

You know, I don't think we're going to get many answers other than Tom Cruise. His was the first name I thought of.
Though I side with LG on this one - I'd like to turn him into a human stapler.

Other than Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe. He's an arrogant arse, most deserving of a good, hard, swift kick in the goolies.

Tom Cruise and John Travolta have already been named, so I'll say Mel Gibson.

Ashton Kutcher........ real jerk....

Tom Cruise
He was the first one who came to mind, but he's done some really good films - Interview With The Vampire, Minority Report, Eyes Wide Shut, Collateral, Magnolia, Born On The Fourth of July...

I'd still hit him for being an arrogant SOB though.

Ashton Kutcher........ real jerk....
Ohh..there's a good 'un.
Kick him hard in the happysacks with steel caps and then dance round him singing, 'You've been Punk'd!'. Hah! Let's see him find that amusing!

Ben Stiller. I can't stand him! Always overacting, usually kills whatever movie he's in (though to be fair, most of his movies are already dead).

Ohh..there's a good 'un.
Kick him hard in the happysacks with steel caps and then dance round him singing, 'You've been Punk'd!'. Hah! Let's see him find that amusing!

YAY! :D

William Shatner.

Oh wait, you said actor.

Ashton Kutcher........ real jerk....

Cant find a better one to punch than this guy.

William Shatner.

Oh wait, you said actor.

If you want a shot at Shatner (literally, with a paintball marker), he's supposed to play in a charity paintball game on September 17th, in Corona, CA. Here's a link to one of the forums I frequent, that has more info: http://www.automags.org/forums/showthread.php?t=195055

Hey. . .hey. . .lay off Shatner (or, The Shat, if you will). He made some funny stuff with Ben Folds, and for whatever reason, you wanna laugh when you see him (I dare you to tell me you don't). AS for my punchy pick. . .

Scott Bakula, baby. Punch 'em right in the gizzard.

Ben Affleck. For doing such a crappy version of The Sum of All Fears.

Milla Jovovich, for being too fucking pretty. Bitch!

Arnold Schwarzenegger... not cause I hate him or anything, he seems like a punchable person.

Arnold Schwarzenegger... not cause I hate him or anything, he seems like a punchable person.

Yeah, if the rules are that they can't punch you back.

Milla Jovovich, for being too fucking pretty. Bitch!

If you punch Milla can you maybe rip a bit of her shirt while you are at it so we can see some boobage?? She is smokin hot....... why dont you punch someone else, like the wife from Everybody loves Raymond.....

Yeah, if the rules are that they can't punch you back.

Hahaha.... either the bones in my fist will break or I'll be too quick for him to react! :)

If you punch Milla can you maybe rip a bit of her shirt while you are at it so we can see some boobage?? She is smokin hot....... why dont you punch someone else, like the wife from Everybody loves Raymond.....

Shut up, male. I'm sticking to my guns on this one. And I guarantee you she is not as tough in real life as in the movie Fifth Element.

Hahaha.... either the bones in my fist will break or I'll be too quick for him to react! :)

Yeah, maybe when nobody challenges you for a long time cause they just assume you'll hurt them pretty bad, you get complacent. I'm sure he wouldn't expect somebody just running up and punching him.

Every single Hollyweird actor/actress who owns some kind of environmentally friendly car.

Yeah, maybe when nobody challenges you for a long time cause they just assume you'll hurt them pretty bad, you get complacent. I'm sure he wouldn't expect somebody just running up and punching him.

YEah, but I wouldn't mind punching him. Him and Tom Cruise. He ruined War of the Worlds for me (the book was so good!)... :(

Every single Hollyweird actor/actress who owns some kind of environmentally friendly car.

But why? Whats wrong with green cars?

I've wanted to punch John Travolta in the face ever since he played "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" back in '76.

The 30 year grudge. Thats funny!

None of them. Just because they are the spotlight they seem like jerks. If everyone in the world was in the spotlight all the time you'd probably see that actors aren't all that bad.
Just my opinion on the issue.

But why? Whats wrong with green cars?

I just hate them and I drive a Hummer.

But why? Whats wrong with green cars?

Like on South Park

It creates smug and they go around smelling their farts.

Eric Bana (Troy, Munich, etc) for being sexier than me.

If you could punch an actor in the face who would it be?
Thomas "The Insane Scientologist" Cruise! Three ways: hard, fast and CONTINUOUSLY! :D

How about Larry the Cable Guy, because he is an unfunny, pathetic waste of cum.

I am 6'4" and I would punch Verne Troyer on the face just to see the crowd reaction.

Tim Allen.

Who made this guy a comedian?

Although, I agree that Tom Cruise needs a good shot to the brainbucket to knock him from his high horse.

Tim Allen.

Who made this guy a comedian?

He's a comedian? :p

First to come to mind was Tom Cruise. So hmm...

Ewan McGregor. Every single one of his movies bar Trainspotting has pissed me off.

Eric Bana (Troy, Munich, etc) for being sexier than me.

Ha, I *have* to find a way to upload an early 90's comedy sketch show that a young Eric Bana starred in...

EDIT -

Haha. (http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/2523/bana9zc.jpg)

Man, I'll just punch Tom Cruise again and again. No matter how often he's been mentioned before.

*smacks TC again*
*and again*

As good as it feels, it always feels like "more"...

*and again*

Orlando Bloom...I don't get why girls think he's hot.

Orlando Bloom...I don't get why girls think he's hot.
It's the hair. *nods*

Mel Gibson. Once for being in the Patriot. Again for having a dumb accent. Yet again for thinking he is the voice of God. And then, a round-house kick just because he pisses me off.

It's the hair.
No, he is really hot...I'm not a girl, but not that this should matter in my case. ^^ He has a really cute smile too...and gorgeous eyes.

No, he is really hot...I'm not a girl, but not that this should matter in my case. ^^ He has a really cute smile too...and gorgeous eyes.
But where are teh b00bz?!!!11eleventyone

Orlando Bloom...I don't get why girls think he's hot.

And guys. He's hot.
<_<

>_>

But where are teh b00bz?!!!11eleventyone
Why would I want a guy with boobs? XD

No, he is really hot...I'm not a girl, but not that this should matter in my case. ^^ He has a really cute smile too...and gorgeous eyes.
He looked better as Legolas than he looks normally. But he's not hot. He look so...ordinary...

Johnny Depp on the other hand...*drools*

Why would I want a guy with boobs? XD
Why wouldn't you? :p

He looked better as Legolas than he looks normally. But he's not hot. He look so...ordinary...
Yeah, Legolas was pure hawtness. Bloomie still is pretty though. ^^

Johnny Depp on the other hand...*drools*
*Drools as well* Yeah...he is gorgeous.

He looked better as Legolas than he looks normally. But he's not hot. He look so...ordinary...

Johnny Depp on the other hand...*drools*

Pffft. Johnny Depp. He just looks weird.

Why wouldn't you? :p
They sorta look better on women. Maybe that.

Ever seen one of those absurdly muscled body-builders? That's why nobody wants a man with boobs.

They sorta look better on women. Maybe that.
Well, that's your onion I guess.
<..<
>..>

Well, that's your onion I guess.
<..<
>..>
Are you even into guys? :p

PS: Do you mean opinion?

Nah, I'm not. And onion is much more fun to write :p

Tom Cruise

With out a doubt!

Nah, I'm not.
And once more, the world makes sense.

And onion is much more fun to write :p
A non-conformist! :eek:

*Cracks whip*

Vince Vaughn. He actually is a great actor but I can't stand him. If he's not available I'll settle for Adam Sandler.

If we take the term "actor" very loosely... Paris Hilton. She's been in stuff. And I desperately want to punch her in the face.

If we take the term "actor" very loosely... Paris Hilton. She's been in stuff. And I desperately want to punch her in the face.

Actor:

Stupid spoiled whore who gets her breasts out at the drop of a hat: really annoying tosser.

Indeed.

I think I enjoyed House of Wax purely for the reason that she got killed. Shame it wasn't a more slow and painful death.

I'd have my girlfriend punch Juliette Lewis while we're at it...

Pffft. Johnny Depp. He just looks weird.
His look is not the ordinary pretty boy look you can find anywhere. Besides, he can TRULY act, which seems to be a rare talent nowadays.

Indeed.

I think I enjoyed House of Wax purely for the reason that she got killed. Shame it wasn't a more slow and painful death.

Beaten to death with a soft toy filled with snooker balls would have been good.

IMHO... torture would have been the best solution. Cattle prods going into certain oraphi... except she'd prolly like that. Either that or an eternity in the depths of Mr. Slave's bowels.

His look is not the ordinary pretty boy look you can find anywhere. Besides, he can TRULY act, which seems to be a rare talent nowadays.
He has a sort of psycho edge to him. He was extremely hot in Secret Window.

Too bad there aren't any really hot blonde actors in Hollywood. :/

And once more, the world makes sense.
Am I that un-gay? My test said I was 25% gay!

PS. I have no idea why I would take a test like that, or indeed when I did. Or if I did for that matter.

IMHO... torture would have been the best solution. Cattle prods going into certain oraphi... except she'd prolly like that. Either that or an eternity in the depths of Mr. Slave's bowels.

A great adventure is waiting for you ahead,
Hurry onward Paris Hilton or you will soon be dead,
The journey before you may be long and filled with woe,
But you must escape the gay mans ass so your story can be told!

Am I that un-gay? My test said I was 25% gay!
Nah, it kinda shows. :) I took one regarding gender, and I came out 55% female. :eek: Not that I mind...

PS. I have no idea why I would take a test like that, or indeed when I did. Or if I did for that matter.
Too late to deny it. XD

He has a sort of psycho edge to him. He was extremely hot in Secret Window.

Too bad there aren't any really hot blonde actors in Hollywood. :/
Well, here's a looker:
http://www.thomasengstrom.com/Images/stormare.jpg

Jesus. Jesus Christ.

Well, here's a looker:
http://www.thomasengstrom.com/Images/stormare.jpg
O_o

Okay, you are REALLY not gay. :eek:

As a card carrying SAG actor myself there are only THREE choices. All of them self-indulgent, arrogant, lackwitted wastes of genetic material.

Tom Cruise- Talk about a major embarassment to the human race. (SMACK!)

Mel Gibson- Gay men made your career you scumbag, and you are not a prophet returned so you can STOP making movies that BADLY misrepresent the history of Christianity, I will be waiting in the fires of hell for you with a baseball bat and crampons attached to my steel toed boots so you may really experience pain (quickly kneecapping Gibby with the baseball bat, and stepping on his face with the crampons, WHACK, WHACK, STOMP!!!!)

James Caviezel- Met this real gem of a human being on a set last year. A real mouth breather. The typical self-centered, selfish bastard who takes his own press to damn seriously. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than shoving a crown of thorns up his ass and playing the drums on the back of his head with indian war clubs. (plays a quick drum solo with Neal Peart-like intensity on the back of Caviezel's noggin. THUMPA-WHACK, CRASH!)

What? He aint good enough for ya? :p

*a waiter approaches*

Anger management classes all round.

What? He aint good enough for ya? :p
He is too ugly, in fact.

http://www.eskimo.is/modelzoom.asp?pnr=17669&nr=8019&pa=0&fp=modelinfo.asp&r=2&gender=M
http://www.eskimo.is/modelzoom.asp?pnr=2941&nr=2977&pa=0&fp=modelinfo.asp&r=2&gender=Mp&r=2&gender=M

That is hot.

Either Christopher Walken or Garry Oldman. Just to see if I could actually land the punch before I died from a fear-induced heart attack.

Vince Vaughn. He actually is a great actor.

Hah!

That is hot.
I could say something mean, but I'll settle for "eww".

I could say something mean, but I'll settle for "eww".
Do I detect jealousy? :)

He is too ugly, in fact.

http://www.eskimo.is/modelzoom.asp?pnr=17669&nr=8019&pa=0&fp=modelinfo.asp&r=2&gender=M
http://www.eskimo.is/modelzoom.asp?pnr=2941&nr=2977&pa=0&fp=modelinfo.asp&r=2&gender=Mp&r=2&gender=M

That is hot.
The first picture was uber hot, but the second one looks like he's a patient at a mental institution...

The first picture was uber hot, but the second one looks like he's a patient at a mental institution...
Well, I am sort of into psychos. :p

That is hot.

Agreement.

Agreement.
I define hotness. :eek:

I define hotness. :eek:

:)

Do I detect jealousy? :)
Not in any way. I like my ugliness.

Not in any way. I like my ugliness.
Meh...today's youth...what ever happened to shallowness? :(

Meh...today's youth...what ever happened to shallowness? :(
Oh, there's plenty of that. I just think it's no fun.

Meh...today's youth...what ever happened to shallowness? :(

There needs to be a revival of shallowness, mirror-worship and general superficiality!

There needs to be a revival of shallowness, mirror-worship and general superficiality!
Whatever happened to the 90-ies!?

There needs to be a revival of shallowness, mirror-worship and general superficiality!
Indeed. That is the true second pillar of the West, not this philosophy trash or Christianity. Capitalism and Vanity. :eek:

Whatever happened to the 90-ies!?

January 1st, 2000.

January 1st, 2000.
:eek: That's exactly ten years after the 80-ies died! Coincidence? I think NOT!

:eek: That's exactly ten years after the 80-ies died! Coincidence? I think NOT!

Shit.

It's a conspiracy of 10s.

OOh I am going to say Owen Wilson. Maybe then he will fix his beak.

:eek: That's exactly ten years after the 80-ies died! Coincidence? I think NOT!
The 80s were fated to be doomed. Can't complain, really.

I define hotness. :eek:
I think I'm going to need some proof of that statement. :p

Oh yeah, the main reason I didn't like that pic: Lips like that give me the creeps (which has made a lot of people use the :eek: smiley at me when I say that angelina jolie is ugly).

I think I'm going to need some proof of that statement. :p
That is hot.
Agreement.
There you have it. Incontrovertible proof. :)

Oh yeah, the main reason I didn't like that pic: Lips like that give me the creeps (which has made a lot of people use the :eek: smiley at me when I say that angelina jolie is ugly).
Have you seen the woman on those lips? :eek: She is hot.

I think I'm going to need some proof of that statement. :p
You're reminding me of Divaverg...:p

There you have it. Incontrovertible proof. :)
That was you????!!!!!

*faints again* :p

I always go by the face, and hers is a definite "no thank you".

That was you????!!!!!

*faints again* :p
Well, I meant I define the meaning of the word. XD As for moi-meme, not sure. Haven't got any pics right now though to send either way.

I always go by the face, and hers is a definite "no thank you".
See, you are shallow. ^^ :fluffle:

You're reminding me of Divaverg...:p
O_O

Darn it! I've been talking to him for WAY too long then. :(

If you could punch an actor in the face who would it be? My brother absolutely HATES Brendan Frazier, and a friend of mine is the same way about Whoopi Goldberg. You know what I mean, one big punch, square in their ugly, worthless melon of a head....
My vote would be for all those actors and actresses who said in 2000 "I promise you, I'm moving outta the country if Bush is elected." and then in 2004 (after not moving!) I'm leaving the country if Bush is Re-Elected" and they're still F*&king HERE!

If you punch Milla can you maybe rip a bit of her shirt while you are at it so we can see some boobage?? She is smokin hot. . . .

Boobage? What boobage? She's as flat as the floor of Death Valley.

See, you are shallow. ^^ :fluffle:
You were talking body, but I prefer the face over the body in general.

Since John Wilkes Booth is already dead, I'd settle for punching Corey Feldman.

Since John Wilkes Booth is already dead, I'd settle for punching Corey Feldman.

Don't let that stop you!

Cruise was already mentioned ad infinitum, so I'll say G.W. Bush. He is way too over the top. I just don't see his character as very believable.

Don't let that stop you!

Cruise was already mentioned ad infinitum, so I'll say G.W. Bush. He is way too over the top. I just don't see his character as very believable.
True, true. And that Blair guy, I just can't take him seriously.

Oh yeah, the main reason I didn't like that pic: Lips like that give me the creeps (which has made a lot of people use the :eek: smiley at me when I say that angelina jolie is ugly).
Angelina jolie looks like a fish...
OMFG FISHY!! (http://static.flickr.com/12/18736709_4d406d6522_m.jpg)
She looks like one of these: CLICKIE ME PLEASEY!! (http://static.flickr.com/12/18736708_876f4fefd3_m.jpg)

Michael moore.

Angelina jolie looks like a fish...
OMFG FISHY!! (http://static.flickr.com/12/18736709_4d406d6522_m.jpg)
She looks like one of these: CLICKIE ME PLEASEY!! (http://static.flickr.com/12/18736708_876f4fefd3_m.jpg)
It's incredible! I think I'll steal that for my sig...

Tom Cruise
Same here.

Angelina jolie looks like a fish...
OMFG FISHY!! (http://static.flickr.com/12/18736709_4d406d6522_m.jpg)
She looks like one of these: CLICKIE ME PLEASEY!! (http://static.flickr.com/12/18736708_876f4fefd3_m.jpg)

LMAO :D

I don't find her attractive for that reason, as well...

I'd put my foot up Ashton Kutcher's ass for his tasteless and un-funny "Punking" of people (and what he did to Matt Leinart was way over the line).

I'd kick Mel Gibson in the ribs for his religious idiocy and horrible acting.

Tom Cruise would receive a haymaker to the jaw for being a dumbass.

Jim Caviezel's eyes would be gouged repeatedly for being a greasy anus of a person.

I'd kick Merv Griffin in the shins with steel-toed boots for being an out-and-out asshole.

Lastly, I'd throw a chair at Bill O'Reilly's face, jump kick him to the floor, punch him in the face repeatedly, and knee him in the nuts. I'd then stand up, stomp his knees until they're broken and brittle, and for the finale, I'd do a knee-dive on his chest.



...Of course, this is all fantasy. Though I think I would actually be able to bring myself to punch Bill O'Reilly in the face.

You're reminding me of Divaverg...:p
Jeeze! What a terrible thing to say of someone! :eek:

Jeeze! What a terrible thing to say of someone! :eek:
Sshhhh! You may hurt his feelings. And then he'll try and guilt you into sending pictures... :rolleyes:

Omarosa? Can I smack her?

I'd punch an ewok...just because.

Omarosa? Can I smack her?

Try to shove a cow down her throat.

Hey, her mouth's more than big enough to accomodate such an animal.

Jeeze! What a terrible thing to say of someone! :eek:
:D

Try to shove a cow down her throat.

Hey, her mouth's more than big enough to accomodate such an animal.
:p

*gets a whale*

I would deliver a swift right hook to Adam Sandler's detestable jaw.

First to come to mind was Tom Cruise. So hmm...

Ewan McGregor. Every single one of his movies bar Trainspotting has pissed me off.
Find and watch Shallow Grave, and maybe Rogue Trader. Both of those are good. I wouldn't say it's Ewan McGregor's fault he's been in crap films - he's a pretty damn good actor.

Ashton Kutcher. O yes.

You were talking body, but I prefer the face over the body in general.
Same here. :p

Jack Black

I'd put my foot up Ashton Kutcher's ass for his tasteless and un-funny "Punking" of people (and what he did to Matt Leinart was way over the line).

I'd kick Mel Gibson in the ribs for his religious idiocy and horrible acting.

Tom Cruise would receive a haymaker to the jaw for being a dumbass.

Jim Caviezel's eyes would be gouged repeatedly for being a greasy anus of a person.

I'd kick Merv Griffin in the shins with steel-toed boots for being an out-and-out asshole.

Lastly, I'd throw a chair at Bill O'Reilly's face, jump kick him to the floor, punch him in the face repeatedly, and knee him in the nuts. I'd then stand up, stomp his knees until they're broken and brittle, and for the finale, I'd do a knee-dive on his chest.



...Of course, this is all fantasy. Though I think I would actually be able to bring myself to punch Bill O'Reilly in the face.

I think I like you a lot. You took my three and added two more folks I just can't stand.

Bill O'Lie-lly deserves massive punishment, but he isn't an actor...just a serious blow-hard pile of monkey fecal matter. I would pay good money to see Keith Olbermann beat the snot out of him, after all O'Reilly just gets all kind of steamed if you have the temerity to mention Olbermann anywhere near him...Olbermann already beats him up for his idiotic statements...I think a steel cage match would be nice.

Just drop a wrecking ball on Merv Griffin...no one would notice.

I've wanted to punch John Travolta in the face ever since he played "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" back in '76.The 30 year grudge. Thats funny!
You know, that would make a pretty cool low-budget movie premise.
Some guy harbours a grudge because of a shite movie an actor was in 30 years ago, and when he finally gets the chance to act on it, all he wants to do is slap him in the face and run off.

Tim Allen.

Who made this guy a comedian?
A bunch of schoolkids high on the smack he sold them thought he was funny and it went from there, as far as I can tell.

IMHO... torture would have been the best solution. Cattle prods going into certain oraphi... except she'd prolly like that. Either that or an eternity in the depths of Mr. Slave's bowels.
Best way to kill her would be to ignore her. Creatures like that feed on publicity - it keeps them alive. Remove the publicity and they shrivel up like a worm on a hot summer's day sidewalk.

I wouldnt punch George Lucas, but he would get a stern smack across his nose for Ep 1, 2, and the love scene dialog in Ep 3.

However, I would deliver a powerbomb through a flaming table to Ted Nugent.
After wich, I would twist his arm until I hear that sickly-sweet crunch that only comes from human bone.
After wich I would encourage him to enlighten me as to how noble hunting animals on his private fenced-in game reserve is.

Or at least enlighten me as best he can while tasting my boot after every sentence.

Then I would once again powerbomb him through a second table, this one covered in thumbtacks.

You may have noticed some animosity towards this man by now, and if any of you have ever heard "The Whackmaster" speak...its not hard to understand why.

Russel Crowe.


But then he'd bash the shit out of me with a phone.